Solid Gold
by Mistress Penelopye
Summary: Sequel for Strawberry Bad Boy; Shinji and Nnoitra's story. Follow the two of them four years after the end of SBB and see where they are now and how they got there.
1. Pick Up The Pieces

Pick Up The Pieces

Shinji sighed at his reflection in the mirror before giving it his widest smile and standing. This was it, his first night as an official business owner and he was only twenty four. A lot had changed over the past four years; in the past four months really. Three months ago the club that he had spent so much of his time and effort in was shut down. Z had told him along with the other workers that in no uncertain terms he was done with the place. It was time for him to move on and everyone else should do the same. Shinji had been devastated. Having saved up just over half of what he needed to lease and refurbish a small building so that he could start his dream job everything was suddenly coming to a grinding halt. But if he had thought things had changed in the last four years, more had changed in the last four months.

With the birth of the triplets Ichigo and Grimmjow had found themselves changed with parenthood. Ichigo had continued with work, managing to get day hours so that he could spend the evenings with his new family. Grimmjow, after one day of working at the office with his children in the care of a hired nanny, had decided that he couldn't handle it. His excuse had been that he didn't want some strange woman raising his kids but everyone knew it was because he couldn't part with them. Working out a deal with Aizen, one that required him to attend monthly business meetings out of town, he spent most of his time working at home and taking care of the children.

When Shinji had come to Ichigo drunk and in tears after the club had officially closed he hadn't known that Ichigo had plans. A week later Grimmjow called him up and asked him to come over. To his utter shock Grimmjow helped him apply for a loan so that he could live his dream, even going so far as to co-sign for it. Shinji would have kissed him had things been different. So now, after months of preparation, it was time to open his brand new host club to which he had given his onetime stage name, _Solid Gold_. Everything was set, the hosts were hired and the grand opening party was waiting for him. With a smirk and a toss of his head he left his bedroom to return to his living room.

Tesla was there, one of his employees as of tonight, waiting on the couch like the good obedient boy he was.

"Shin-chan you look wonderful!" He cried out as he pushed off the couch and walked towards him, pulling him close for a hard hug before holding him out at arm's length.

"Don't hug too hard, you'll fuck it all up, baka." Shinji replied, knocking his hands away.

"Sorry. I'm just so excited. And I haven't seen you this happy in a while so…." He let the sentence trail off and Shinji's smile turned sad.

"Well, I have everythin' ta be happy 'bout now, ne? Nothin' holdin' me back and no one tyin' me down. The world is my oyster. Ain't that the sayin'?"

Tesla smiled again and Shinji almost rolled his eyes. This man, though a bit older than him, was such a simple person. Simple but correct. Shinji hadn't been this excited and happy about life in so long he couldn't even remember when. Though he was good at hiding it; covering over the sadness and pain with smiles and cheeky comments. His mother had taught him well there. Over four years had passed since he had watched his entire world get turned upside down by two unexpected men. Over four years since he found out he would never dance again. He almost shuddered at the thought, never liking to relive that moment, however brief it had been.

His phone rang, startling him, and he reached for it, not having to check who it was.

"You're going to be late to your own grand opening." Ichigo's voice called out and Shinji smiled again.

"Am not. I'm on my way right now."

"Well, Grimm and I are outside with the car so hurry up."

Shinji heard a distinct grumble in the background and almost laughed. For all the spit and fangs Grimmjow showed off Ichigo had him wrapped around his little finger. He'd bitch and moan about doing what was asked of him, but he'd basically do anything for the love of his life. Even if it meant hanging out with his best friend for a while. Grimmjow and Shinji had decided a long time ago to do their best at setting aside their mutual dislike of each other in favor of pleasing Ichigo. Always, anything for Ichigo.

"Yeah, yeah. Be right there." Shinji hung up the phone and reached for his coat, the bitter September wind was in full swing and he wasn't about to freeze to death just to look good before he got to the club.

"Tesla, let's go."

"Yes sir!"

Tesla was so obedient, so attentive to his needs and near every wish. He sighed to himself and wondered why he couldn't feel at least something for the man. Tesla might have been able to make him happy if that were the case. Instead his heart was stuck in the past with someone it shouldn't have belonged to in the first place. It was a good thing Tesla understood that and was happy with what he could get. Otherwise their friendship might have ended years ago.

They had rented a larger apartment together two years ago when the club had been doing well and Shinji was surprised to find that they cohabited well together. Tesla loved to clean and cook and Shinji loved that he had someone to talk to whenever he wanted. Eventually they had tried to date but it hadn't worked out for various reasons so they had reverted to their easy friendship of before.

Outside in the car Grimmjow was grumbling about going out on a week night and Shinji opened the back door in time to hear Ichigo snap at him.

"Quit acting like an old man! You're only thirty two, you can go out on a week night every once in a while." Shinji supposed he'd already missed the part of the argument about the kids. Grimmjow was such an obsessive father already.

"And what about you? You have no business out tonight either. You said the clinic was going to be packed tomorrow with clients."

"Grimmjow just stop and enjoy yourself. If you don't knock it off your gonna get grey hair."

Grimmjow's hand flew up to his thick blue locks and a glare narrowed his eyes.

"Don't even joke about that." He said in a dark menacing tone.

Ichigo just smiled and leaned over, placing a small kiss on Grimmjow's temple. "Just relax and have some fun, ne?"

Grimmjow sighed and dropped his hand as he watched Shinji and Tesla slide into the seat in front of his.

"Fine." He conceded with a pout.

Ichigo turned to his friend and smiled. "Excited?"

Shinji grinned. "Yeah. Majorly. Still kinda weird ta think I finally did it though."

Half way to the opening Grimmjow reached for his cell phone and started dialing. Ichigo pulled it from his hands and shut it off.

"Don't shut it off! What if something happens and they can't get a hold of us?"

"Grimmjow you're being obsessive again. Stop it. The kids are fine. Both Karin and Yuzu are with them so chill out."

Yuzu's self imposed exile from the babies had lasted a month but she often said that she was happy she did things that way. With the time away to adjust to being alone for the first time in months she was able to get over any kind of separation anxiety that she had in the beginning. Karin had been a big help too, forcing her sister to get out of the house and act like a normal twenty year old for their birthday.

Shinji grinned at Grimmjow's obvious discomfort. "Why'd ya come if ya couldn't handle it?" He asked and Ichigo immediately rolled his eyes at the thinly veiled bait.

Grimmjow narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms. "I gotta see what the hell ya did to the place so I can make sure you didn't screw away the money I helped you get."

Tesla shifted uncomfortably and Ichigo shook his head. Shinji glared at Grimmjow for a moment before sighing and sticking his tongue out. "Yer gonna love it. It's fuckin' awesome. A Mecca fer lonely men and women everywhere."

"Better be." Grimmjow grumbled before he looked out the window and ignored everyone. This was the first night he and Ichigo had been out together since before the babies were born and he wasn't exactly pleased that it had to be for this.

Everyone had been surprised when Shinji had announced that Solid Gold would not in fact be solely for gay men. An even bigger surprise was that he had hired women to work there, both at the bar and as hosts. He had insisted that, though the gay scene would bring in a lot of customers, expanding it to the heterosexuals of Tokyo would make it even more profitable. As much as he was looking forward to the fun of the job he wasn't in it just for that. He wanted to make money just as much as anyone else and after years of managing the books for Wank he had more than a little idea on how to make that happen.

Tonight was a chance for the future customers to meet and greet the hosts and decide if they liked what they saw as they tasted expensive wines and alcohols and munched on pricey hors d'oeuvres. Shinji had gone all out on this one night, digging a little deep to make sure he left a good impression. When they arrived a few minutes later to a line at the front doors he couldn't contain the little squeal of delight. This was going to be so much fun!

* * *

Two hours later the place was packed and the vibe was easy going though lively. Shinji wandered from group to group, introducing himself and making sure everyone as happy and comfortable. He was in his element now, surrounded by people who were praising him and his business. He could work a crowd with ease and it was apparent in the smiles of each group of people he walked away from. Each of his hosts, both male and female, were either working the room just as he was or sitting already with a fan club of their own. Yumichika seemed to have attracted the most so far, again both male and female. He was already starting out as number one just as Shinji had predicted. The only other one from Wank he could see at the moment was Tesla who had a group of older women crowed around the booth he was in. Shinji smiled and thanked the fact that he was the owner and not a host. He would probably have found himself in a similar position and he wasn't sure he would be handling it as well as Tesla seemed to be.

He had finally made a circuit of the entire room and was preparing to take a much needed breather when he was tapped on the shoulder gently. When he turned around his jaw dropped and his eyes went wide. It may not have been the last person he expected to see but this man was certainly on that list.

"You tell me about this event and then tell me not to come. You are too cruel, Shin-chan." Szayel said with a toss of his chin length pink hair.

Shinji closed his mouth and cleared his throat. Over the past few years he had for some reason kept in contact with the man, even if he had sounded reluctant for the most part. Szayel had joked that it was his animal magnetism but Shinji sometimes wondered if he had been hypnotized or something.

"I asked ya not to come because I didn't wanna see ya." He said in a snippy tone.

Szayel chuckled and reached out, pulling Shinji closer by his tie. "You're such a bad liar." His eyes raked over the slim body and a greedy smirk tilted his lips. "My, but you do look good in a suit."

Shinji smacked Szayel's hand off his silk tie and straightened it. "Don't touch baka. You'll fuck it all up."

"You still don't talk like a business man. Perhaps I should give you lessons."

Shinji rolled his eyes and looked around the room. "No thanks. I'm good."

Szayel grinned and leaned forward to kiss Shinji's cheek, stopping long enough to whisper in his ear. "Then perhaps for another kind of lesson."

Shinji sighed. "Have you spoken with Ichi or Grimmjow yet? Have you stopped by to see the kids?"

Szayel straightened and sighed dramatically. "I only got back an hour ago so that would be a no. Don't worry. I'll bug them soon enough."

Shinji licked his lips and cocked an eyebrow. "The kids are over four months old now. Ya coulda shown up a little sooner."

Szayel laughed quietly. "Are you reprimanding me? You're too cute."

"Have a drink and enjoy yerself. I gotta make my rounds." With that he was gone, heading towards the back of the room. It had surprised him to see Szayel there but he wouldn't let it get to him. After all, tonight was _his _night.

* * *

Tesla and Shinji staggered into their home after two in the morning, giggling like little girls. The night had been a total success and all of the hosts were booked for a month. Tesla himself had turned out to be the second most requested male, much to his surprise.

"Shin-chan baby, that was the most fun I've had in _ages_." Tesla slurred. He was so cute when he was drunk.

"Mmm. Let's have another drink, ne?" He suggested as he made a beeline for the kitchen.

"You should be getting laid tonight!" Tesla said much too loudly and Shinji laughed.

"Yeah well, looks like that ain't gonna happen." For once it wasn't bothering him.

"Hey, I could suck you off before my man calls." Tesla offered, flopping on the couch with a huff.

"Tempting." Actually it wasn't as tempting as it should have been since he had, after all, taught Tesla everything he knew about sucking cock. But he wasn't the least bit interested in being the "other man" even if it was just drunken head.

"Aw, c'mon. I'm kinda horny and I told him I wouldn't get off until three."

Shinji handed Tesla a bottle of beer and sat next to him. "Here, suck on this instead."

Tesla giggled but did as he was told, pulling the bottle away when it was half gone. He leaned his head on Shinji's shoulder and sighed contentedly.

"Too bad Nnoitra-sama isn't here. He would make you feel better."

Shinji stiffened at the name and closed his eyes at the rush of emotions that hit him. Tesla sat up, knowing he had said the wrong thing and set his beer on the coffee table.

"Oh, God! I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it I swear." He reached out and cupped Shinji's face, forcing the younger man to look at him. "Please don't hide like this. It's a good night; just forget I ever said anything. God, I'm such an asshole." He berated himself.

His lips brushed lightly over Shinji's and he accepted them, the little bit of tongue against his lips dulling the pain in his chest just a bit. Tilting his head to the side, Tesla pressed forward in an attempt to make Shinji feel better and instead of pushing him away he gave in and opened his mouth. It was never that intense of a kiss between them; more of a sweetness as tongues slid along each other and hands delicately held on to slim bodies. There were no teeth, no fire, no passion, but at the same time it was still a soothing experience. At the worst times in the last two years Tesla had been there for him to ease the pain with such kisses.

"Are you sure you don't want me to help you out?" He asked, lips still hovering over Shinij's.

"I'm good. Just go let yer man fuck ya stupid and tell me all about it tomorrow, 'kay?"

Tesla kissed him sweetly once more before sitting back with a frown. He felt horrible for bringing up that name now of all times. With another quick kiss Tesla trotted off to the shower leaving Shinji alone with his thoughts.

It had been nearly two years since he had seen that man; two years since he woken up to find him gone without so much as a note. He had done things like that in the past, disappearing for a week or more out of the blue and coming back like nothing had happened. They fought all the time but it was because of those times that they fought the most. Shinji knew that they were basically fuck buddies, whatever emotions were behind their actions were deeply veiled behind their thick walls, but he still felt he deserved _something _from him. A note, a phone call, hell he would have even preferred a slap in the face and a grin before the man left. Anything that proved he meant just a little more to him. Especially after that last night together.

With a deep breath and a shake of his head Shinji pushed himself off the couch and headed for his bedroom. As he stripped off his clothes he watched himself in his mirror, letting a small smile grace his lips. _Whatever_, he thought to himself. _I'm still hot as fuck with or without him._ He winked at his naked form and grabbed a small pill bottle off his nightstand, tossing one into his mouth and drinking down the full glass of water that had been sitting next to it. Hoping that the sleeping pill would kick in quickly he slid between his sheets and shut his eyes.

* * *

"Hey, Hirako-san, you're early today." The blond haired man said with a bright smile and Shinji rolled his eyes.

"Shinji. I keep tellin' ya to call me Shinji. Hirako-san was my papa."

"Ah, yeah I forgot." The man rubbed the back of his neck and continued to smile brightly. "So how have you been this week, _Shinji_?"

"Fine." Shinji crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back in his chair.

"Fine? Well then why do you come here if you're fine?"

Shinji sighed. "Okay fine, I'm okay but not great."

"Good. Should I bust out my little notepad and get to work?"

"You are the weirdest therapist I've ever had, ya know that?"

The blond man smiled and nodded. "I get that a lot."

Shinji had been seeing a therapist for most of his life, off and on. Ever since his father had died his mother had felt the need for him to seek professional help to deal with his problems. Every few years he stopped going only to find himself back at it again. He had been seeing his current therapist since the accident that had caused him to stop dancing.

"So, how was the grand opening?"

The man was good at what he did, if only a little eccentric about it. For one they met outside in a park for their sessions and either sat in the shade or wandered around aimlessly as they spoke. It made for an easy going atmosphere that Shinji absolutely loved. Even if it was raining like it was today.

"It was good, everything was perfect. I still think you'd make a great host."

"Oh? And why's that?"

"Because yer manipulative as fuck and can make people smile even if they don't wanna."

The man laughed and looked away briefly. "I wouldn't say I'm manipulative…." He let his sentence trail off as he waited for Shinji to continue.

"Szayel showed up outta the blue. I haven't heard from him all day though so I guess he did finally go see the kids." He bit his lip and frowned. "Tesla brought _him_ up though."

Blond eyebrows shot up and a frown marred his brow. "And?"

"And nothin'. He was drunk, we both were, so he apologized by kissing me and I took a pill and passed out."

"How long has it been since you last took a pill?"

Shinji shrugged. "Couple weeks. Maybe." He stopped walking and looked up at the older man. "Ne, Kisuke? Why…?" He sighed and shook his head, shaking himself and taking a few steps forward. Kisuke stayed where he was, waiting for what Shinji had to say. "Why can't I forget him? It's been two years. It's fucked."

"We talked about this, Shinji. You can't forget him because you have unresolved feelings for the man. You had no kind of closure so you have to do it on your own." They were silent for a moment before Shinji turned back to him, a deep frown still in place. "You still blame yourself for it don't you?"

"It's just… God, I don't wanna do this today." He hung his head and slumped his shoulders.

Kisuke walked up behind him and placed an unprofessional arm around his shoulders. "If you didn't want to talk about it you wouldn't be here." He reminded.

"I had a dream about him last night." Shinji started quietly. "I was in my old apartment and he showed up like he always does, like he lived there or somethin'. It was just like any other time, we hung out fer a while, fought a bit and then… he kissed me. Only it wasn't like… it was like a goodbye kiss, ya know? And that was it. He stood up after that and walked out. Didn't even look back at me."

"And how did that make you feel?"

Shinji snorted and looked up at the taller man. "That's such a therapist thing ta say."

Kisuke smiled. "Gotta keep up appearances."

Shinji sighed and closed his eyes. "I woke up cryin' again. I fuckin' hate it. I mean sure I'm gay as fuck but it's a bit unmanly to cry like a bitch after a stupid dream."

"You curse more when you're upset, did you realize that?"

Shinji nodded. "Yeah." After another moment of silence Shinji smirked. "Maybe I should start datin' again. I mean, it's been a while since… well since my big fuck up. It might be a good idea."

"Do you think that will help you or make things worse?"

"I don't know, but it's an idea at least. Guess I can't know one way or another unless I do it."

* * *

After another long night at work Shinji was glad to be home alone. Tesla had left work with his current boyfriend, an older man with a lot of money, and hinted that he wouldn't be coming home tonight. That was just fine for Shinji. He planned on taking a nice long bath and relaxing with a movie before he passed out. It had been a week since the club opened and things were going great. The place was packed, money was rolling in and the customers always left happy. It was almost more than he could ask for. The only problem he was having was that ever since the dream he had had about Nnoitra he hadn't been able to stop thinking about him. It was as if the remote for his brain had run out of batteries and he could no longer change the channel. All Nnoitra TV all the time. Even as he lay in the bathtub trying to forget, the memories still came to him.

It had been a year after Ichigo's kidnapping and the two of them had spent two long blissful night's staying at his mother's place fucking everywhere they could. One of the things he loved best about her house was the huge tub she had and after all the brutal, hard sex he figured the two of them needed a nice long soak. Of course he hadn't been sure how to ask Nnoitra if he wanted to join him so he had just gone about filling up the bath and making the temperature to his liking. When Nnoitra poked his curious nose inside the door and asked him "what the fuck" he was doing he had looked up with a cocked eyebrow and answered, "The fuck's it look like? I'm soakin'."

After watching Shinji lower himself carefully into the water and sigh in contentment Nnoitra had frowned at him and finally, after at least five minutes, decided to join him. Just as Shinji had expected he hadn't been allowed to relax on the other side of the bath and was quickly pulled into Nnoitra's lap so that the large man could run his hands all over him. Shinji had sighed and leaned into him, closing his eyes and enjoying the feeling of those large hands on his body.

"Nnoi, why do ya keep buggin' me?" He asked suddenly, not really meaning for the words to come out and certainly not that way. He wanted to know why the man liked him but there was no way he could ask it.

Nnoitra snorted. "Well now that I know ya suck such good cock 'the fuck you expect?"

It shouldn't have made him smile, a lot of things Nnoitra did shouldn't have made him smile, but it did. After the heavily veiled confessions they had made to each other the first night there he had been wondering about it though.

"Well damn, now I know ya like it in the ass I might actually start buggin' _you_." Shinji teased back.

"Fuck you." Nnoitra countered but will little heat.

He nuzzled Shinji's neck and began to cover it in gentle kisses. It was one of those random sweet moments the man had been capable of and Shinji had treasured those moments almost above the outrageously good sex. The next morning he had woken up alone and Nnoitra had left without word only to show up fifteen days later like nothing had happened. That had been the first time they had fought about that specifically. Shinji had told him flatly to get the fuck out of his house to which Nnoitra replied with a firm, "Fuck you." When Shinji had thrown a book at the back of his head the fight was on. It ended with a few bruises on both sides and a little blood on Nnoitra's but in the end Shinji had let him stay and they had made up for lost time with angry rough sex on the kitchen floor. Shinji had smoked his first cigarette that night as they lay naked on the cold linoleum.

As soon as his bath was done he dried off and wrapped the thick baby pink robe around his body, ready to settle in on the couch and find something good on TV. Throwing the throw on the back of the couch over his feet he flipped through channels and finally settled on an American romantic comedy. Ten minutes later there was a knock at the door and Shinji frowned. Tesla must have gotten in a fight with his boyfriend again and forgotten his key. He sighed and threw the blanket off, rolling his eyes when another knock sounded.

"Fuck, Tess. I'm comin'!"

When he opened the door his heart nearly stopped in his chest. His head rose as did his eyes and for the first time in two years he stared into the violet depths. A wide grin stretched thin lips and Shinji felt his breath hitch.

"Yo." The deep voice came but all Shinji could do was blink at him. "The fuck you doin' movin'? Took me ferever ta find ya."

Shinji's mouth worked and he closed his eyes, shaking his head and leaning his weight on the door. No, this wasn't real. He must have fallen asleep on the couch again. No more drinking sake and taking a bath before relaxing. When he opened his eyes again the body was still there, still smirking. This had to be a dream because he hadn't pushed his way inside yet. He gulped and looked up into that fierce eye once more. His mouth opened once again but nothing came out. He could hear the blood rushing to his head and he could do nothing to still his racing heart.

"Ya gonna let me in er what?"

Shinji shook his head. Oh fuck. Ohfuckohfuckohfuck! No, no, no; this wasn't happening. Things were going good in his life for once. He was happy for the most part even if he did think often about this asshole. No damn it!

"No." He breathed, his eyes hardening and his back straightening. He only hoped that his shaking limbs wasn't as visible it they felt.

"The fuck you mean 'no'?"

"I said no. Get the fuck outta here." He slammed the door, his eyes widening as he stared at the grain of the wood.

He knocked on the door again. "Let me the fuck in, damn it!"

"Go away or I'll call the police!" Shinji yelled, knowing that that should be one sure way to get the man off his porch.

"You stupid little bitch! I come all the way back here to see ya and ya fuckin' do this? Let me the fuck in!"

"I'm dialing the phone!" He called out, the shaking in his limbs getting harder.

There was a sharp kick to the door before he heard his footsteps retreat. All at once his legs gave out and he crumpled to the floor, the shaking in his body taking over. He closed his eyes and tried his best to control his breathing. No, it had been a dream. No way that man had come back after all this time. He squeezed his eyes shut tight and felt the shaking completely take over as he saw the grin in his mind's eye. Nnoitra was back in town.

* * *

A/N So much for taking a break, ne? I couldn't help myself though. I really hope you guys like this one because I've been so excited about it for so long. So first off, yes, that was Urahara the therapist, lol. I wanted to put him in this story but not have him as a main character and figured this was a decent idea. Also, for those of you that have read the RP I did with LoveyourflyingV _Dirty Me_ you will have noticed the reference I made to it in Shinji's memory. If you haven't read it I totally suggest it :D Also, if anything seems like I didn't explain it enough I hope you will all bare with me on that. Since it's basically been four years since Shinji was a big part of the story (For years since the end of SBB) we all have a lot to catch up on and I don't want to reveal everything all at once. Anyway, enough of my yapping! I hope you all enjoyed this first chapter and please, I'd LOVE to hear what you think. LOVE YOU!!

~Penny


	2. Catching Up

Catching Up

Nnoitra stuck his hands in his pockets and hunched over a bit as he walked into the wind that happened to start the moment Shinji slammed the door in his face. What the fuck was the bitch's problem anyway? Threatening to call the cops on him when they hadn't seen each other in so long. Sure, he wasn't exactly expecting a warm greeting, he was pretty sure that had maybe happened twice in the time he'd known the blond, but he certainly hadn't expected _that_. He pulled out his near empty pack of smokes and shoved one in his mouth, lighting it up before pulling out his cell phone. It was late but he figured he really only had two options to find a place to stay right now. The kitty bitch might get mad but he didn't really care much about that. If he wasn't going to get to fuck Blondie and crash at his place he had to sleep somewhere and the streets weren't an option. He wasn't a teenager anymore and that had definitely lost its appeal.

As he dialed he thought about how good Shinji had looked. He hadn't looked that good in his dreams; not by a long shot. His hair was so much longer than it had been two years ago, almost down to that tight hot ass he had been hoping to get a piece of. The fact that it had been in one long thick and slightly damp braid had just made everything that much better. Even in that fruity as fuck pink fuzzy bathrobe he was too damn fuckable. He should have just pushed his way inside like he always had in the past but for some reason when he saw him his body hadn't been able to move. His mouth on the other hand, he hadn't had any trouble with that of course.

The phone was on it's forth ring when Grimmjow finally answered in a sleepy voice.

"What?" He growled.

"Yo."

There was a moment of silence, then a rustling of fabric and movement before Grimmjow spoke again. "Nnoi?"

"Yeah, how's it goin' Grimm?"

"The fuck you been? You get locked up again?"

"Heh, I'll tell ya later. I need a place ta crash tanight."

Grimmjow grunted. "Don't really have much room here. Guess you could stay on the couch if ya keep quiet."

Nnoitra frowned. "The fuck ya mean ya don't have room? Ya got someone else stayin' with ya?"

Grimmjow rubbed his hand over his face and realized that Nnoitra knew nothing about the kids. He grinned through his sleepiness and decided to have a little fun with his old friend. "Yeah you could say that. Knock quietly asshole." He said before hanging up.

Nnoitra glared at the phone before shoving it back in his pocket and waiting so he could hail a cab. He really didn't want to spend any more of his limited funds but he wasn't about to walk all the way across town in this cold and if he wasn't mistaken those had been raindrops he had felt a moment ago. Fuck that shit. The entire ride to Grimmjow's place he was thinking nonstop about what he wasn't doing at that moment. Thinking that there should have been a pair of long thin legs wrapped around his shoulders while he buried himself as deep as he could go, his face pressed into that gorgeous thick hair and smelling that stupid shampoo Shinji loved so much. He wondered briefly if he still used the same kind before frowning at himself. If he kept thinking like that he'd end up sounding like some love sick asshole; the kind of guy whose ass he kicked.

To his surprise Grimmjow was waiting outside his front door for him, shirtless, disheveled and on the verge of sleep. Nnoitra smirked and hitched the heavy bag he was carrying over his shoulder.

"Am I interuptin' somethin'?" He asked, not that he cared much.

Grimmjow's head popped up and he grinned at his friend. "Nope. Dude you cut yer hair."

Nnoitra fingered his roughly cut almost shoulder length locks and sneered. "Not on purpose. Looks like yer lettin' yers grow."

"We gonna stand in the hallway after midnight and talk hair like a coupl'a bitches or are we goin' in?"

Nnoitra almost laughed. "Whatever. So who's stayin' with ya that I can't have a bed?"

"Don't worry about it. I'll introduce you in the morning. But be fuckin' quiet alright. Ichigo's gonna be pissed enough that yer here and I don't wanna fight with him right now about it."

Nnoitra rolled his eyes. "Fuckin' pussy whipped."

"Least I'm gettin' laid." Grimmjow shot back, sleepy grin still on his face as he opened the front door and let them inside.

"Ass fuck." Nnoitra grumbled. He didn't know how Grimmjow could tell, but he always seemed to know when it had been a while for him and he always seemed over eager to point out that _he_ was getting some.

"Just shut up and take the couch. I grabbed you a pillow and blanket. Just don't make any noise." He started to head for the bedroom before stopping when something occurred to him. "And sleep in some clothes please."

Nnoitra almost laughed again but he was pretty sure that if he did he'd have to listen to the Bitch whine so he kept his mouth shut. Setting his bag on the floor by the couch he took off his heavy coat and tossed it over the canvas, reaching for his belt. He'd keep his pants on but he wasn't sleeping in his belt. Once he had ditched everything but his blue jeans and emptied his pockets he grabbed his iPod, sticking the ear buds in his ear and turning the volume up to a barely tolerable level. He settled in and covered himself with the over large blanket, closing his eyes and drifting off almost immediately, not realizing just how tired he was until that moment.

* * *

When Shinji was sure that his legs would support him he stood and made his way to the kitchen. This was the worst dream he had had in a while. It had to be a dream because there was no way Nnoitra was back. There was no way that he had hunted him down like that and talked to him like nothing had happened. He reached for a small glass and filled it with amber liquid from the bottle on the counter. Shinji's entire body felt numb and a part of him kept trying to remind him that if this was a dream he wouldn't feel the need to drink. He wouldn't feel so drained or numb. He snorted at his thoughts and muttered out loud for them to shut up. He was enjoying his denial. Without bothering to turn off the television he walked straight to his room, reached for the pill bottle on his nightstand and dropped a few in his hand. He knew enough about what he was doing and how his body would react to what he was doing so that he wouldn't be hurt by the combination of drugs and alcohol. He wasn't trying to kill himself by any means. He just wanted to sleep and forget. A cup of Jack Daniels and three sleeping pills should work just fine for him. He set the empty glass next to the pill bottle and slipped between the sheets, letting his eyes fall closed and the medication take effect.

* * *

"Who was at the door?" Ichigo asked through his thick fog of sleep as Grimmjow crawled back into bed.

He grimaced and sighed. "Don't worry about it. Go back to sleep."

Ichigo frowned and opened his eyes. "Grimmjow." He said, his voice still thick but now full of warning.

"It was Nnoi. I let him crash on the couch."

Ichigo sat bolt upright at that. "What!"

"Shh! You'll wake the kids." Grimmjow hissed and pulled Ichigo back down to the bed.

"After what he did to Shinji you just let him in here like nothing happened?"

"Ichigo, can we talk about this in the morning?"

"No damnit. Did he stop by Shinji's place already?"

"I have no idea. Let's just go back to sleep and talk about this in the morning." He kissed Ichigo's temple. He understood why Ichigo was upset, but it was too late to talk about it all.

"If he did anything else to Shinji I'll fuckin' kill him, you know that right?"

"Yeah." He sighed. "I know."

It took a total of five minutes before Ichigo was up, reaching for his cell phone. Shinji answered on the last ring before it went to voicemail.

"Hmm."

"Are you okay?" Ichigo asked worriedly.

"Huh? Yeah, 'm fine."

"Are you sure? Nothing… strange happened?"

Shinji was quiet a moment before he yawned and slurred, "Nope. Sleep. Talk 'morrow."

Ichigo sighed and hoped everything was okay. He really was going to kill Nnoitra if Shinji was upset over anything else he did.

* * *

If he knew it wasn't going to wake up the kids he would have pulled Nnoitra off the couch and told him he could leave right when he woke up. He was sure that he had stopped by Shinji's first and that meant that he was probably pretty upset about it. But the kids were finally sleeping through the night and he couldn't bring himself to make Grimmjow's day any harder than it already was. So instead he glared at the tall thin man spread out on his couch and quietly left for work.

Grimmjow had gotten Ichigo his own car for his twentieth birthday, saying that since he was a man now he should have his own ride. Ichigo had been too excited to be pissed off about the dig at his manhood when he saw the vehicle and had instead jumped in the driver's seat with a wide grin as he looked expectantly up at the man he loved and asked him if he wanted to go for a ride. As he slipped into his car that morning he pulled out his cell phone and called his father to let him know he was going to be running a little late. He worked at the clinic his family owned one day a week so that he worked a total of five days. But this morning he had something to do before he went anywhere else.

By the time Ichigo pulled up to Shinji and Tesla's apartment it was barely five in the morning and the sun had yet to rise. He pulled out his cell phone and called Shinji, only half expecting an answer. When he of course didn't get one he stepped out of his car and walked straight to the front door, finding it unlocked. With a roll of his eyes he stepped inside and went directly to Shinji's bedroom. Shinji was sleeping somewhat soundly but Ichigo's eyes went directly to the pill bottle and empty glass and his brow scrunched together in a deep scowl. That confirmed his suspicions that Nnoitra had stopped here first. He knew Shinji wouldn't do anything stupid, well nothing _that_ stupid anyway, but he still needed to know how many pills he had taken with how much alcohol. He leaned forward and said his friend's name, not at all surprised when he didn't move. A minute later he was sitting on the edge of the bed shaking Shinji awake and the blond was blinking up at him with a frown on his face.

"The fuck ya doin'?"

"Making sure you're okay." Ichigo said shortly as he prevented Shinji from rolling back over and going to sleep once again.

"By shakin' me ta death?"

"I wasn't shaking you that hard." He smacked Shinji on top of the head. "And lock the door asshole!"

"Ow." Shinji complained quietly and rubbed the top of his head.

"You lied to me by the way."

Shinji sighed and rested his tired head in Ichigo's lap. "Did not." He said feebly.

Ichigo sighed. "I just need to know how much you took and then I'll decide if I can leave you alone."

"Baka. I just took enough to sleep." Shinji yawned and closed his eyes, his arms wrapping around Ichigo's waist.

"How many Shinji?"

"Three. And a mouthful of Jack. Nothin' I can't handle."

"No one should be able to handle stuff like that." Ichigo muttered. "Are you okay?"

Shinji sighed but nodded his head. "I take it he went there then?" Ichigo nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. Kinda threw me off a bit but I'll be fine." He rolled over on his back, untangling his arms from Ichigo's waist, and looked up at him. "Thanks fer worryin' 'bout me though."

Ichigo snorted. "It'd be better if you didn't make me worry."

Shinji chuckled and closed his eyes. "Can I go back ta sleep, Doctor?"

"Yeah. Call me if you need me."

"Yes mommy."

* * *

Grimmjow had his coffee in hand, relieved that the kids had yet to wake up, as he looked down at his old friend. Sometime in the night the blanket had fallen part way off Nnoitra so that his bare chest was exposed. He had one arm draped lazily over his eyes and a hand sneaking into the waist of his loose jeans. Grimmjow shook his head and kicked the side of the couch. Nnoitra's hand dropped from his face and he glared up at Grimmjow.

"The fuck time is it?"

"Time for some explanations." Grimmjow said as he took a seat in the recliner that sat near the couch.

"Well shit, let me wake up first. Damn."

Grimmjow sipped his coffee and looked fleetingly towards the nursery. He had checked on them before making coffee and part of him hoped they slept at least long enough for him to get some information to of Nnoitra before he had to explain what had happened in the last year for him and Ichigo. Nnoitra yawned and stretched, sitting up and eyeing Grimmjow's coffee hungrily.

"There's more in the kitchen." Grimmjow said as he jerked his thumb in that direction.

"Yeah, yeah."

He chugged one cup of the steaming liquid before pouring another and returning to the living room. He would have liked to have gotten bit more sleep but now that he was awake he wanted to know why he couldn't sleep in the guest room.

"Where you been?" Grimmjow asked before Nnoitra had a chance to say anything.

"China mostly. Spent some time in Shanghai and Hong Kong."

"You hate China."

"Yeah well I didn't go 'cuz I wanted to. I had a job." When Grimmjow cocked an eyebrow Nnoitra rolled his eye. "Yer boss is the one that sent me on it so I'm surprised ya don't know.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Aizen sent me off ta find a couple kids. Paid a butt load 'a money so I took the job. Didn't realize it took so long though." He scratched the back of his head and took another drink of his coffee. "Have I really been gone two years?"

"Yer such an idiot. Leave it to you to lose track of _that_ much time."

"Little fuckers were hard ta find. And there's a lot of fuckin' people in China."

"So that's it? You were hunting and lost track of time?"

Nnoitra shrugged. "Stranger things have happened."

Grimmjow was just about to say something when the first cries were heard from the nursery. He watched Nnoitra's body stiffen and a deep frown pull at his mouth as his eye widened.

"The fuck…."

"Oh yeah, Ichigo and I have three kids now."

* * *

Why was he here? Shinji sighed and looked across the table at the pink haired man and again wondered if he had been hypnotized. As soon as their tea was served Szayel smiled up at him.

"So, how have you been?"

"What do you want?" Shinji asked, but it lacked his usual hostility.

"Oh come now. I wanted to see how you were. We haven't seen each other in a while."

"I'm fine."

"You seem put out." Szayel pointed out as he leaned back in his seat.

Shinji sighed. "I'm just tired. I didn't sleep well last night."

Actually he had been sleeping just fine and having wonderfully blank dreams until Ichigo had woken him up. After he had left that morning Shinji had been unable to get back to sleep and unwilling to take any more pills. He did have to work that night after all.

"So I take it you know that Nnoi is back in town."

Shinji froze, his cup hanging in mid air part way to his lips, and looked up at Szayel. "How…?"

Szayel smiled. "I have many connections. I heard he was looking for you since you weren't where you were supposed to be."

"You could have told me." Shinji grumbled.

"Would you have believed me anyway? Besides, you seem to be just fine, even if it was a shock to see him after all this time."

Shinji was silent and Szayel took the time to really look him over. In the past four years he hadn't changed much bodily, firming up slightly but keeping his thin frame, his face hardening just a bit. He still looked younger than he was and a bit more feminine since he had grown his hair long. Szayel had to admit he liked the changes in the younger man.

"How about we get together after you get off work and blow off a little steam?"

Shinji rolled his eyes. "No thanks."

"Oh come on. I'll only hurt you if you want me to. You look like you could use it."

"That's beside the point. Didja just invite me out here to try and take advantage of me?"

Szayel smiled and pushed up his glasses. "I would never do a thing like that."

"Liar. What do ya want?"

Szayel sighed. It was so much easier being blunt with this surprisingly shrewd young man but it took so much of the fun out of things.

"I was wondering if you would be up for earning a little extra cash. I need a new performer for my next movie and since you seemed to enjoy working with me the last time I of course thought of you."

Earlier, when Shinji had briefly mentioned his big "fuck up" with Kisuke, he had been referring to a period of time a few months after Nnoitra had left. One of the major issues he had had during that time was sex addiction. Before he knew it he was acting as he had been as a teenager, hooking up with a different guy every night and allowing them to take him to love hotels and sometimes even going so far as to going back with them to their homes. He gave little regard to how dangerous his behavior was until Szayel showed up out of the blue and offered him a safer way to get things out of his system. That safer way was to, in essence, become an adult video actor.

The supplemental pay on top of what he was getting in his managerial position at the club was enough for him to save up what he had for the host club he now owned. A little over six months ago Shinji had finally told Szayel that he was done with it all. He had actually managed to keep that part of his life from Kisuke until they had one night run into each other as Shinji was on his way to a hotel with someone he was set to start shooting with the next night. He liked to "try" his partners out to see how they worked before hand, a habit that Szayel was very supportive of. When Kisuke jokingly asked him where he was headed Shinji broke down on the street, his words coming in a rush and eventually mixing German and Japanese so much that no one present was able to understand him. Kisuke had left his own date, a dark skinned woman who seemed completely okay with being brushed aside, and taken Shinji home. Since that time he had made a promise to himself that he would never do such things again.

It wasn't that he disagreed with the industry, it was that he realized the reasons for him engaging in such activities were not necessarily because he enjoyed what he was doing but rather an attempt to dull and forget what he was feeling. A way to erase Nnoitra from his mind, body and soul.

Shinji shook his head and stood, reaching into his pocket and dropping a few yen on the table.

"I'm sorry, but I already told you I can't do that anymore."

"Oh come now. It's not like I'm asking you back full time or anything. Just one movie."

Shinji took a deep breath and threw his long braid back over his shoulder. "Nope. Thanks for the tea, Szayel." He waved over his shoulder as he left.

He knew he could be weak willed at times, especially when it came to certain things, but this was one thing he was not going to fall back on ever again. It didn't matter how bad things got or how hard up he was, he had made a promise to himself and he was going to damn well keep it.

* * *

Grimmjow stood and walked to the nursery, grinning like a maniac as he heard Nnoitra sputter on the couch. Oh this was going to be fun, he thought to himself as he lifted Tomoe out of her crib and kissed her soft cheek. Good lord the kid smelled. He set about changing her diaper and barely acknowledged the man in the doorway when he got there.

"The… fuck…." Nnoitra said, his eye still wide and his mouth now following suit. "When the fuck did this happen?"

Grimmjow finished attaching the sides of the new diaper and lifted a clean Tomoe, smiling at her before turning to Nnoitra. "This is Tomoe." He looked down at her as she wiggled in his arms. "Tomoe, this is uncle Nnoi." Without waiting for Nnoitra to react he shoved his daughter in his arms and went to check on the boys. Surely they would need to be changed as well.

Nnoitra almost dropped the small wiggly human and held her out at arms length with an almost comical sneer on his face. A part of him realized this was quite literally the first time he had ever held a baby.

"You drop her and I'll kill you." Grimmjow said as he lifted Taichi out of his crib. Sorin was busy trying to eat his own foot so Grimmjow let him be for the moment. "And they are four months and three weeks old tomorrow."

Nnoitra blinked in his confusion, still trying to piece everything together. "So… men can have babies now?" Again a part of him realized how stupid that sounded but he couldn't seem to make that realization filter any of his comments.

Grimmjow just rolled his eyes and focused and changing Taichi. He was getting so good at this he could almost do it in his sleep.

"Wait a minute, why the fuck _you_ here with'em? Why isn't the bitch takin' care of them?"

"Hold her right stupid." Grimmjow said, seeing the Nnoitra was still holding Tomoe out and away from his body.

Nnoitra gave the little girl an incredulous look before looking back at his friend. "Oh yeah, and how the fuck do I do that."

Grimmjow set Taichi back in his crib and lifted Sorin out, finding him just as bad off as the others. He set him on the changing table and looked briefly over his shoulder at his completely befuddled friend.

"Just pretend she's a cat. You used to hold that one cat I had all the time."

Nnoitra frowned and eyed the baby once again before awkwardly pulling her closer and resting her against his shoulder. He still wasn't sure where to put his hands though and it was very odd doing things the way he was.

"Put one hand under her butt and the other in the middle of her back." Grimmjow offered, hoping that the grin on his face wasn't heard in his voice.

Nnoitra did as he was told but still looked as awkward about it as he ever had about anything. This was humiliating. As soon as Sorin was changed Grimmjow tossed him up on his shoulder and grabbed Taichi, happy that he was only going to have to make one trip to make their breakfast this morning.

"Follow me and I'll explain everything."

Grimmjow spoke while he made three bottles, handing one to Nnoitra, much to the larger man's distaste. Now he had to feed the brat? He sat on the couch and watched Grimmjow lay out a blanket and set one of the boys, he couldn't tell the difference between the two, on it before shoving the bottle in his mouth. Chubby hands gripped the sides and the room was suddenly filled with hungry slurping sounds. By the time Grimmjow was finished speaking, having condensed the story into less than ten minutes, Nnoitra had decided that he was still sleeping.

"Here." Grimmjow said, tossing a burp rag at Nnoitra and then lifting Sorin off the floor. "Do what I do." He set the rag over his shoulder and laid Sorin over it, tapping his back with the flat of his hand.

Still frowning, a look that hadn't changed since he had been handed Tomoe in the first place, he copied Grimmjow and jolted when Tomoe burped loudly.

"Holy fuck." He said quietly before snorting a small laugh. "I can't believe something that loud came outta somethin' this small."

"Tomoe is the best burper. Sorin almost beats her at it though but he spits up a lot so it gets this weird wet sound along with it."

"That's disgustin'." Nnoitra said. "So let me get all this straight. Ichigo's sister offered to have babies for ya so ya said yes. Then she ended up gettin' knocked up with three and ya still have ta have all of them?"

"Nnoi, they're my kids however you look at it. What do you expect me to do? Say, 'Oh sorry, I only wanted one.'?"

Nnoitra shrugged. "I would'a said that."

"Yeah, but yer a bigger asshole than me."

"So how come yer here and not workin'?"

"I am working, I just work from home now. I didn't want some stranger takin' care of my kids. And Ichigo is doing the doctor thing so he can't stay home."

Nnoitra shook his head. "This is fuckin' surreal. What the fuck else has changed since I've been gone?"

Grimmjow snorted and started to burp Taichi. "Depends on what you wanna know."

"What's up with Blondie? He got all pissed and threatened to call the cops on me last night."

"Dude, you take off for two years without saying a word to anyone and you expect to come back and have everything be the same? Yer pretty stupid sometimes, you know that?"

"We…." He stopped and bit his lip before saying anything else. He didn't really want to talk about part of the reason he had been so eager to take the job for Aizen.

"You don't have to keep doing that. Set her on the floor next to Sorin. They're trying to crawl already." He smirked. "It's funny to watch."

Nnoitra set Tomoe on the floor and sighed, running a hand back through his hair and frowning at how short it had become.

"So what, you two get in a fight before you took off?"

Nnoitra shrugged and grabbed his cold cup of coffee off the table, drinking it down and grimacing before he answered. "Somethin' like that."

* * *

A/N YAY! Chapter two!! I was hoping to get this out sooner but I got all sick and stuff *sigh* Anyway, I really hope you like this one and I can't wait to hear what you all think! And wow! Already 36 reviews. Thanks so much you guys!

~Penny


	3. Reality

Reality

It was strange sitting there watching television while three tiny humans wiggled and gurgled in the gated off area on the floor. Like life had completely titled on its axis or something. But there he was, sparing glances between his favorite game show and babies that were already starting to look like their fathers. Even the little girl had some of Ichigo's look about her, but it could have been her ridiculous colored hair, he thought fleetingly before getting angry with himself that he was even thinking like that.

He wasn't quite sure how it had happened but he was alone for the most part, Grimmjow off in the corner at his desk and typing away at what he called work. Nnoitra wondered if he had been serious about that or if he was just amusing himself while Nnoitra sat uncomfortable in his living room. He wondered why he had been left basically alone with the babies in the first place. He sent a fleeting glance at the floor and frowned as one of the boys, he still couldn't remember which, scrunched up his face but didn't cry. It looked like he was straining a bit but before the thought could go any further in his mind a horrible stench caught in his nostrils and he covered his face.

"Ah shit Grimm! Somethin' crawled in yer son's ass and died!"

Grimmjow shook his head and finished up what he was typing before he stood and stretched. "Since when did you get so dramatic?"

"Since when didja become okay with horrible smells in yer house?"

"I got over that the first week. Believe me, it was worse back then."

Nnoitra's eyes seemed to widen further in disbelief but his hand stayed over his nose and mouth as he watched Grimmjow approach.

"Like worse than my house used to get in the summer?" He asked, his voice muffled by his hand.

Grimmjow wrinkled his nose. "I don't think anything could have been as bad your house in the summer. That was years of neglect piling up there."

"Well it didn't help when ya brought home cats." Nnoitra grumbled, backing away from the offensive odor as Grimmjow grabbed a few items off a nearby table and knelt beside Taichi.

"Yer gonna do that here?" Nnoitra asked incredulously.

"Why not?" Grimmjow still couldn't seem to hold back a grin. It was too fun watching the expressions on Nnoitra's face at the whole ordeal.

"That's gross. I'm goin' outside for a cigarette."

Once he slid the door shut he sighed and pulled out his pack of smokes. Three left. Damn, he was going to have to get more soon. Sure the job he had been sent out on had paid a lot of money but for various reasons it was practically gone and none of those reasons were entirely Nnoitra's fault. He sighed out a plume of smoke and leaned against the terrace's short wall. It usually didn't bother him to tell Grimmjow anything, usually didn't bother him to say anything that was on his mind, but he had kept more than a few details about his last job hidden. One reason was because he was afraid of looking like even more of an idiot than everyone assuredly already thought, his pride sticking up it's ugly head and preventing him from even asking for the help he knew he was going to need eventually. The second reason was new and he scowled down at the street below because of it. For all the heartless fool he played he was considerate enough not to want to involve a family in his problems. Especially a happy one.

It wasn't that he understood what a happy family was, having never experienced it himself, but for the first time in all the years he had known Grimmjow he seemed… content. Happy. And the scariest thing of all for Nnoitra was that he seemed mellower and slightly complacent. Before, when they had been younger, those traits would have meant the difference between life and death, even after they had started living with Szayel and his father it hadn't exactly been all fun and games. There had been plenty of times they all had been put in situations that had things gone differently one or all of them would have ended up dead or with a life sentence in prison. None of that had really mattered back then though. It wasn't as if anyone would miss them when they were gone.

Nnoitra groaned and took another long pull from his cigarette. He hated thinking things through, even if it did make it easier. He always seemed to reflect on things a lot more than he wanted to and it left him feeling like more of an adult than he ever wanted to. Szayel, during one of their arguments when they had been teenagers, had once told him he was suffering from a disease known as the Peter Pan syndrome. Of course the asshole hadn't explained what the hell he was talking about and when Nnoitra finally got sick of wondering and looked it up and almost laughed at what he read. Socially immature? At the time he had agreed with it fully, even bought the book _The Peter Pan Syndrome: Men Who Have Never Grown Up_. Of course he hadn't read the thing until years later and only because he had been bored out of his mind with lack of work. Lately it had seemed to take on a darker meaning, his lack of want for things to change, to "grow up".

"Fuck." He flicked the cigarette butt over the side of the wall and stood up straight, stretching his long limbs with several satisfying pops. "Thinkin' like a fuckin' emo bitch." He mumbled to himself as he retreated back inside.

* * *

Ichigo was just leaving the hospital that night, having stopped by to check on a couple patients he had seen the day before, when he ran into one of his least favorite colleagues. The man pushed his glasses up his nose and did his best to look down at him even if he was shorter.

"Kurosaki."

"Ishida."

"Uryuuuuu!" A loud and energetic voice called out and the both of them turned to see a young woman bouncing up to them.

Ishida seemed slightly flustered; the fingers of his right hand fidgeting with his stethoscope and a light pink blush creeping up the back of his pale neck.

"I thought I asked you not to come to my work." He said, his voice cold.

The young woman smiled regardless and held up a bento. "But you forgot your dinner. I didn't want you going hungry. And what are wives for?"

Ichigo nearly choked. _This_ was his wife? He took another look at the woman, taking in her long dark orange hair, her wide, innocent brown eyes, and her ridiculously large bosom.

"Oh! Is this a friend of yours, Uryuu?"

"Not at all. What are you doing just standing there, Kurosaki?"

"Ah…." Ichigo had no come back for that as he was still quite sure life had ceased to make sense. There was no way in hell _this _was this man's _wife_.

"I'm Orihime, nice to meet you!" The young woman stuck out her hand and Ichigo stared stupidly at it.

"Just ignore idiots like him. How he got an internship here I'll never know. Since you're here let's go eat this in the cafeteria."

Ishida led the woman off with Ichigo staring confusedly after them. Yes, he was pretty sure hell had frozen over. Things hadn't gotten any better by the time he had gotten home. He walked through the front door to see his daughter sleeping soundly on Nnoitra's chest, the man himself dosing as if he did things like this every day. Grimmjow was on the floor with the boys, slowly rubbing Taichi's back as he slept and helping Sorin stretch far enough to gnaw on his heel.

"What the hell is he doing holding my daughter?" He whispered as he shut the door quietly.

Grimmjow looked up at him before looking over at the duo on the couch and shrugging. "She likes him."

Ichigo scowled and took his coat off, leaving it on the opposite end of the couch from where Nnoitra was sitting. He reached down and picked up Sorin, watching Grimmjow get to his feet as well. The taller man leaned in for a kiss, careful not to crush the tiny body between them. Sorin had screamed at them once for doing that and after their hearing had returned they had never done it again.

"How was work?"

"Don't change the subject. Why is he still here?"

Grimmjow sighed and picked up Taichi, careful not to wake him, and motioned for Ichigo to follow his to the nursery.

"He just needs a place to crash for a couple days so I told him he could stay here."

"But…!"

"Plus he really helped me out today. Surprisingly." When Ichigo continued to scowl Grimmjow set Taichi in his crib and kissed him once again. "He'll be gone by the end of the weekend. I'm not gonna kick him to the curb, Ichigo. He's the closest thing I have to a brother so he's family as far as I'm concerned."

Ichigo deflated slightly and Grimmjow had to fight back his grin. He had known that line would work even though a part of him had felt like an idiot for saying it. Nnoitra surely would have called him a woman for saying it and for even caring what Ichigo thought in the first place.

"I thought we could order out tonight so what do you want?"

Ichigo shrugged. "I don't care." He set Sorin in his crib and scratched the back of his head. "I just want to relax. I saw fourteen patients today who had absolutely nothing wrong with them. People are so stupid sometimes. One woman brought her daughter in because she scraped her knee."

"Doting parents…."

"No, that's beyond doting. That's… crazy obsessive." Ichigo sighed.

Grimmjow slowly wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him close, pressing his lips softly against his. Sorin gurgled and tossed a teething ring out of the crib unbeknownst to his fathers. Grimmjow tugged Ichigo's ear lobe between his teeth and whispered, "It's been a few days, ya know? We could ignore Nnoi and eat in the bedroom. Naked."

Ichigo blushed but smiled. "Pervert. And you hate eating in bed."

"Didn't say we were gonna eat in the bed idiot." Grimmjow grinned, seeing that the idea was already making Ichigo feel better. Food and sex and quiet; three things that rarely happened at the same time anymore.

"Dude, yer kid bit my nipple."

Ichigo pushed Grimmjow back and glared up at Nnoitra who was standing in the doorway holding Tomoe. She seemed to be fascinated by his dark hair at the moment and was tugging on it as the tall man sneered. Grimmjow laughed but didn't reach for his daughter. Earlier that day he had made that mistake and Tomoe had let out the loudest scream he had heard her make. The moment he let go she curled her small fingers in Nnoitra's shirt and refused to let go, much to Nnoitra's already compounded discomfort.

"Too bad she doesn't have teeth yet." Ichigo grumbled and pulled Tomoe from Nnoitra's grasp.

Nnoitra almost snatched her back out of impulse, he hated it when people just took things from him, but enjoyed the look on Ichigo's face, if not the noise, that the action granted them all. Tomoe scrunched up her face and her eyes filled with angry tears as she threw back her head and wailed. Ichigo almost dropped her having not heard a noise quite like it, and looked up accusingly at Nnoitra.

"What the fuck did you do to my daughter?"

"I didn't fuckin' do anything!"

With all the noise Sorin had decided to give his two cents with his own screeching wail and Taichi, who had rolled over on his stomach was fussing up at the ceiling. Grimmjow rolled his eyes and grabbed Tomoe out of Ichigo's arms, placing her back in Nnoitra's and replacing her with Sorin. He picked up Taichi and sighed as the noise level died down.

"Both of you shut the fuck up. I hate it when they cry."

Ichigo rolled his eyes and hugged Sorin. "I still don't see why I have to…."

Grimmjow kissed him. "Who's hungry? I'm fuckin' starving." He smiled down at Taichi and wiped a few tears off his chubby cheeks. "And it's time for your dinner too isn't it?"

He walked out of the room with Nnoitra sneering at him and Ichigo rolling his eyes.

"He tuned into a fuckin' chick." He mumbled and winced when Tomoe pinched him.

"Just because he grew up and you didn't doesn't mean he's a chick, asshole." Ichigo snapped before leaving the room.

"Tch." Nnoitra shifted his weight and looked down at dark orange hair. "I didn't come back here to be a fuckin' babysitter."

Tomoe gave him a drooling smile and rested her forehead against his chest. Nnoitra sighed and decided to go see what was for dinner.

* * *

"Hirako-san!"

Shinji jumped and looked guiltily up at one of his employees. "Huh?"

"HIrako-san, are you alright? You've been spacing out all afternoon."

"Sorry. What were ya sayin'?"

Kin, the man he had set to run the bar, sighed and looked down at his clipboard.

"We've been getting a lot of requests for mixed drinks, specifically ones mixed with vodka but we've had a few complaints about the brands we _don't_ carry. I'd like to keep at least one or two bottles of some finer product on hand for those people who are willing to pay a little extra for it."

"Which brands?"

"We've been asked about Bong, Han and one woman specifically asked about Stolichnaya Elit."

Shinji frowned as he tried to place the names. "I don't see why we don't have those already. Go ahead and buy a case of each and we'll keep them in stock. Mix them in and see what the reaction is. If people like them better than what we have now we'll weed out the stuff we're usin' and up the price a bit."

"Right."

"Was there anything else?"

"No, Hirako-san. That was everything." Kin turned to leave and Shinji sighed.

"I toldja at call me Shinji!" He called after the man and wasn't the least bit surprised when he was ignored. He really didn't like being spoken to so formally but supposed that since he was a business man in Japan he'd have to get used to it to some degree.

It had been almost two days since Nnoitra had showed up unexpectedly at his doorstep and he still couldn't stop thinking about the man. He looked fleetingly at the clock and yawned. He had resorted to sleeping pills again the night before but had still woken up tired. He knew that he shouldn't be doing it but he had no desire to dream about the man. It would be inevitable now that he was back to think about him, but he really wanted to just forget him and everything that had happened between them. It was so much easier to deal with things if you forgot about them and pushed them back down. It wasn't the best way but it was all he could do at the moment.

When his phone rang his heart jumped up to his throat and he had to take a deep breath before answering.

"Please tell me you're not busy right now." Ichigo's voice came through the speaker loud and clear.

"Not really. What's up?" He asked, leaning back in his chair and setting his feet up on his desk.

"It's my day off and I have some running around to do and… well I could use some help. I have the triplets with me and…."

Shinji laughed. Ichigo was a good father but he wasn't the best at coordinating things for outings with all three kids, especially by himself.

"In other words ya need some more hands, ne?"

"Yeah."

"Well ya gotta come get me then. I'll let everyone here know I'm takin' off for a while."

Twenty minutes later they were on their way to a shopping center and Ichigo had launched into a litany of complaints. Shinji wasn't sure if he should be amused, horrified, or if he should just tell Ichigo to shut up since the majority of his complaints had to do with Nnoitra.

"And to top it all off I had to literally rip Tomoe out of his arms this morning and left the house with her screaming her head off. Of course he thought it was the funniest damn thing ever. I don't get why she's like that. I mean, I know it shouldn't but it kinda… makes me feel weird when she attaches herself to other men like that. She's the same way with you."

"That's because I'm the coolest uncle ever."

Ichigo sighed as he pulled into the underground parking unit. "I'm sorry. I know you probably don't want to even hear his name."

"I'm fine, Ichi. I mean, it's weird, but I'm fine."

Ichigo pulled into a spot and turned off the car before turning to him and scowling. "You sure? You're not gonna do something stupid again are you?"

"Oh for fuck's sake, Ichi. That was an accident. I wasn't trying to kill myself."

"For not trying you almost succeeded, Shin. I don't ever want to have to be the one to treat you in the emergency room ever again."

Shinji's apparent addiction to pills started up after the accident four years prior when he had been prescribed three different kinds of pain medication along with sleeping pills to help him out. One night he had taken one too many and ended up having to be rushed to the emergency room to have his stomach pumped. It really had been an accident but the guy he had been with that night had never spoken to him again. The topping on the cake that night had been that Ichigo had been the only intern there who wasn't already with a patient and he had to be the one to both sedate and pump his best friend.

"Guh, yer such a nag." Shinji smiled and slapped Ichigo's shoulder playfully. "Let's go shoppin'."

* * *

"Are ya sure he ain't gonna be there?" Shinji asked for the third time as he shifted heavy bags and Tomoe in his arms.

"Yes, I called Grimm and he said Nnoitra's been gone most of the day, now shut up and quit asking." Ichigo snapped.

The minute the front door was open Grimmjow was swooping down with a kiss for Ichigo, pulling bags out of his hands and taking one of the boys from his arms.

"The fuck you do, buy the whole damn store?"

Ichigo blushed. "Their clothes are getting too tight." He defended and Grimmjow only grinned at him.

"Yer pretty brave comin' here. Nnoi could be back any time."

"I'm not afraid of that asshole." Shinji bit out and resisted the urge to turn around and glance at the door.

"Didn't say you were." He fingered Tomoe's chin and smiled sweetly when she grinned at him.

"See! She's got my fuckin' grin!"

Ichigo shook his head. "I'm not sure that's a good thing." He muttered.

"You love my grin."

"I love your grin because it's hot. I'm not entirely sure I want my daughter having such a weapon."

Shinji rolled his eyes and kissed Tomoe's head. "Yer daddy's 're gonna be a total pains in the ass when ya get at be a teenager."

"You shut up." Ichigo said as he placed Sorin on the floor and began to pull out all the items he and Shinji had picked out.

Tomoe and Sorin were now sitting up on their own for the most part but Taichi was still having trouble rolling over without help. Grimmjow had asked the pediatrician if that was normal for twins to develop at different stages and the man had smiled and nodded, assuring him that there was nothing wrong with a late bloomer. Despite all that Taichi seemed to have mastered getting up on his hands and knees and making an effort at crawling even if it was only rocking wiggles. Shinji eyed Tomoe as she threw her chubby arms in the air and ended up smacking Sorin in the face.

"Tomo-chan's violent, seems she got that from ya too." He said to Grimmjow and received a middle finger for his comment.

Sorin used his teething ring and hit Tomoe back, resulting in a half assed and short lived war between the two before their attention was drawn elsewhere. Shinji picked Tomoe up and cuddled her close.

"That meanie Sorin, hittin' ya." He cooed and Ichigo rolled his eyes.

"Don't encourage her already, Shin."

"Why not? Strong women are good women."

Grimmjow was about to comment when the front door opened and all heads turned to see Nnoitra walk confidently inside. Shinji's eyes widened and his arms clutched Tomoe closer to his chest.

"'Ja'get it?" Grimmjow asked, standing and walking across the room.

Nnoitra's eye had gone immediately to Shinji and he didn't bother looking away as he answered. "Yeah but it's gonna be a few days before I can move in."

"Wait, you're actually getting your own place?" Ichigo asked, surprised.

"Yeah, what of it?" Nnoitra bit out, his gaze finally swaying away from the startled blond.

"Isn't this like the first time you've ever had your own place?"

Nnoitra shrugged and walked towards the terrace. "So?"

He was torn between grabbing Shinji and hauling him right along with him outside so they could speak properly and ignoring him completely. It wasn't that he didn't want to see him, far from it, it was just that he had had a long day and he didn't feel like doing anything other than smoking a cigarette, possibly eating something and then passing out. Between hunting for his first apartment and getting in touch with a few people about securing said apartment against anyone that may or may not be looking for him at the moment, he was exhausted. It would be nice for once to sit back and enjoy himself, but he had too much else going on at the moment for that to happen. Fuckin' people.

Instead of heeding his own thoughts he stopped and looked back at Shinji, a grin pulling his thin lips. "Yo, come'ere." He curled a long finger in the air and almost laughed at Shinji's expression. It took him back to their first interactions years ago.

"Fuck you." He handed Tomoe to Ichigo and walked to the door. "Gotta go Ichi. See ya later."

Before anyone else could say another word Shinji was gone and Nnoitra's grin had faded. He turned and went out to the terrace without comment, leaving Grimmjow and Ichigo with the tension that the two men had left in their wake.

* * *

Shinji's heart was racing still when he arrived home and he wasn't sure if he'd be able to calm it with his normal methods. In the past he would have dressed up and gone out man hunting but lately the thought had left a bad taste in his mouth. That left him three options: pills, alcohol or calling his therapist. He sighed and walked to the kitchen, taking a glass from the cupboard and setting it on the counter only to stare at it.

"Fuck." He sighed and pushed the glass away.

Without thinking about what he was doing he grabbed his coat and left the house, deciding to go back to work after all.

Three days and that fucker was still ignoring him. Nnoitra sat back in the chair he was sitting in and closed his eye, sighing as he fidgeted with the pencil he was holding in his hands. He had gone by his house when he was certain Shinji was home only to be ignored. He had called, getting the new number from a reluctant Grimmjow, only to be hung up on. This was his last ditch effort to get the blond alone and even he knew that he was using dirty tactics. Not that he minded it much, it just sucked that he had to resort to things like this. He wasn't even sure what he was going to say when he saw him, having not thought that far ahead. When the door knob turned and the door itself swung open Nnoitra grinned and tried not to move. The light was flipped on and the door was shut before he made his presence known.

"Yo, Blondie."

Shinji jumped visibly and turned to him with wide startled eyes. His lip curled and he reached for the door only to find it wouldn't budge. Quick as a flash Nnoitra had jumped out of his chair and planted the palm of his hand against the door, boxing Shinji in as he leaned down so they were face to face.

"Hey there Mr. Business Man. How things been?"

"Get out of my office." Shinji said between gritted teeth.

"Ya know, yer fuckin' bad at this greetin' shit. I go outta my way to see ya and ya threaten me or ignore me…." He let his sentence trail off at the end.

"Maybe because I don't wanna see ya asshole."

"Bullshit." Nnoitra grinned. "Ya wanna see me so bad but yer just fuckin' afraid."

"I am not afraid of you!" Shinji said, placing his hand firmly on Nnoitra's chest and pushing.

It took a moment to realize that this was the first time either one of them had touched in years and both of them froze, a torrent of conflicting emotions welling inside both of them. Shinji's fingers closed and reopened twice in the this fabric before his hands dropped and he closed his eyes, his brows furrowing as his lip disappeared between his teeth. It had been like an electric shock that coursed through his entire body when they touched and it left him weak in the knees. Nnoitra licked his lips as he tried to control himself. He wasn't quite sure what he wanted to do first, kiss him, tear off his clothes, hug him, or just lean forward and smell him. The last two thoughts made his blood boil and he sneered. Nnoitra Jiruga did not hug and sniff anyone.

"Ya want me. Ya want me so fuckin' bad yer shakin'. Just give in. let me touch ya. Let me lick ya. Let me fuck 'til ya can't remember how at breath and ya ferget yer own name." He leaned forward a bit more so that his lips hovered over Shinji's. He was shaking too at this point but he told himself it was nothing; just his excitement at finally being so close towhat he wanted. "Yer always so fuckin' uptight. Just let go."

Shinji's eyes snapped open and he glared up at Nnoitra. "I'm shakin' 'cos yer pissin' me off and fer once I'm resistin' the urge to fuckin' hit ya."

Nnoitra chuckled softly and pulled back to see the fire in Shinji's eyes. He loved that fire.

"Fuckin' liar." He let his breath waft across Shinji's face and was pleased when the blonde's eyes rolled closed.

Shinji could feel Nnoitra getting closer, knew that a kiss was eminent and he fought the urge to close the distance himself. God, how he wanted to kiss this man again. It fought against his urge to strangle him and he clenched his hands together in fists at his sides. He could practically taste him when they were both startled by a knock on his office door.

"Hirako-san, is everything okay? I heard a loud bang from in there."

Shinji took a deep breath and pushed Nnoitra away from him, irritated that he regretted the action and that the touch had had the same effect as the first time.

"I'm fine. I'll be out to check the shipment in a moment." He looked up at Nnoitra as he fixed his shirt unnecessarily. "Ya need ta leave. I can't have ya here fuckin' up my work."

"Then answer yer door later." Nnoitra husked out, his violet eye filled with anger and lust.

Shinji glared. "Nothin's changed. Stay away from me."

Before he could be stopped he ripped the door open and left the room. Nnoitra glared after him before sticking his hands in his pockets and kicking a large dent in the side of the metal desk in the room. None of that had come out right even if it had been what he was thinking at the moment. As always his mouth had opened and he had said the first thing that had come to mind. He hated that it bothered him now; hated that he actually wanted to be the kind of guy who could say the right things sometimes. He kicked the desk again and left the room. He had more things to do today anyway and he had already put it off long enough.

* * *

A/N AH! I'm so sorry it took so long to get this out. Major computer malfunctions had me kinda off for a bit but everything is fine now. So, I hope this chapter didn't confuse anyone, but if it did I should be slowly explaining things as we go on. Nnoi obviously has some things going on that he's not about to just openly talk about with even Grimmjow and Shinji is still struggling with some rather destructive character traits. Don't worry, not all of them were because of what happened with Nnoi. Shinji has issues, lol. Also, I'm sorry if Nnoi's line of thinking sounds a bit OOC. I'm trying not to let that happen but I always pegged him for being a bit deeper than he let on. Anywho, enough of my rambling, lol. Hope you enjoyed it and if any of you are interested I drew a really crappy NnoiShin sketch and it's featured on my deviantART site. Hope you like it!

~Penny


	4. Caress

Caress

Nnoitra dropped his large duffle bag on the floor and looked around the small apartment he was now renting with a sneer. There wasn't much to it, only large enough to fit six tatami mats in a rectangle with a small kitchen that consisted of a tiny refrigerator, a one burner stove and a small sink with about eight inches of counter space. Didn't even sport it's own bathroom, the dormitory style toilet was down the hall and he would have to use the public bath house if he wanted to get clean, but it was a place of his own. A place to come home to and relax and not have to listen to babies cry and smell their shit or that nauseating formula they drank. He wouldn't have to listen to the bitch cry out as Grimmjow made him cum for the third time followed almost immediately by Grimmjow's grunt that signaled his own release.

He sighed and lifted his hands over his head to stretch, having to bend at the elbows when his hands almost immediately touched the ceiling. The mats were probably filthy and the kitchen most likely had roaches but he'd lived in worse. At least the place had electricity and the roof wasn't leaking. He looked up fleetingly to make sure there were no water stains on the ceiling. Nope, not leaking. Then again for thirty-eight hundred yen a month is was a steal. He'd talk someone into helping him clean the place up, maybe find an old television someone was getting rid of, search alley ways for a table or something that could serve as one then he'd be set. Mostly.

The door opened behind him and Grimmjow walked in shaking his head. "Damn, this place is shittier that Ichigo's old place."

Nnoitra grinned and shifted to look at his friend. "Shit, still better than a dark alley."

"Still. You don't even have a bed." Grimmjow walked to the window and squinted through the dirty pane.

Nnoitra kicked his duffle bag. "I got a blanket in here and I can use my jacket as a pillow fer now. We've both lived in worse."

"Yeah, I guess." He kicked at the mat and his lip curled. "Dude, I'll send my cleaning lady over tomorrow to clean it up for you. Only once though. This place is shit."

"Cool." Nnoitra said, brightening at the thought of a professional doing all the work and for free. "Dontcha hafta be somewhere?"

Grimmjow groaned and almost leaned against the wall before thinking better of it, his lip curling in distaste. "Oh yeah, 'cos I'm gonna hurry over to spend time with Ichigo's dad. Still gives me that look like I ruined two of his kids forever."

Nnoitra laughed. "Well ya turned his son gay and knocked up his little girl."

"Hey, it's not like I fucked her and Ichigo was gay waaaaaay before we met. I just…," He grinned. "Helped him along the road."

"Right."

Grimmjow chuckled and crossed his arms over his chest. "Yo, you want that TV from the guest room? Kids don't need it and we're looking for a bigger place to move into soon anyway. I'm sure you could ghetto rig some sort of antenna so you can watch something."

Nnoitra frowned and tried to remember that Grimmjow wasn't exactly trying to give him handouts… outright anyway. "Whatever. I ain't pickin' it up though."

"Fuck. Yer gonna make my ass carry that fucker all the way here?" Grimmjow grinned and started back towards the door.

Nnoitra shrugged. "Ya got Shawlong."

Grimmjow laughed. "My ass. Fine. We'll celebrate yer new shit hole in a couple days. I'll bring booze and we can watch yer new TV and reminisce about being poor again."

"Che, I still am poor asshole."

Grimmjow grinned and reached for the door. "Who's fault is that?" He asked over his shoulder before leaving.

Nnoitra barked out a laugh before locking the door behind him. It wasn't like he couldn't handle things if someone walked in but he wasn't going to take any chances. With a sigh he stashed his bag under the sink and opened the window to let in some fresh air. The entire room smelled stale and he wished he had more than one window. A loud crash from the apartment next door followed by a woman sobbing made Nnoitra's eyebrow twitch upwards. He made a mental note to keep his iPod charged. He had a feeling he was going to have to block out nightly noises often.

* * *

"Hey! You're early again. And you look like shit." Kisuke said cheerfully.

"Arntcha supposed to make me feel better?" Shinji asked with a roll of his eyes and he shouldered the umbrella he was holding. It wasn't raining but the angry color of the sky told him that it would soon.

"Oh that. Nope. My job is to poke and pry at your brain and make you spill all your deep dark inner secrets so that you feel drained and like an empty husk of a human being." Kisuke's smile morphed into a grin and a small breeze made his long bangs obscure his eyes for a moment. "And _then_ I help you feel better."

"Well that's comforting." Shinji grumbled before yawning widely.

"Good. Now what's with the face? You look like you haven't been sleeping." Kisuke pushed away from the wall he had been leaning against and started walking down the path that led into a thickly wooded area.

"I haven't. I ran out of sleeping pills three days ago and it's too soon to get a refill." Shinji looked off with a pout and sighed.

"He still creeping into your dreams I take it?" Kisuke tossed a look over his shoulder to look at the younger man's face.

Shinji scowled and nodded, his shoulders slumping just a little. "He stopped by my work a few days ago. Broke in's more like it. I found him in my office and…." He stopped walking and closed his eyes, the older blond stopping as well and turning to watch him. "We had words. Anyway he came by the house that night but I didn't answer the door I'm really surprised he didn't just break it down, honestly." His scowl turned into a sad frown and he looked up. "He only knocked a few times and called my cell phone twice and then he just left."

"You sound more upset that he left than that he showed up in the first place." Kisuke pointed out.

"I'm not…." Shinji started but stopped when he saw a warning look from the other blond. He sighed again before continuing. "Maybe a little."

"I think it might be a good idea for you to revisit those meditation exercises that we played around with last year. You're becoming rather dependant on pills again and I don't like the sound of that."

"Yeah, yeah."

Kisuke stopped and his voice went hard. "I mean it. It's not healthy to dull the emotional pain with medication. You need to start confronting your problems instead of hiding from them. I know I've said that more than once."

"I know. It's harder than it sounds though." Shinji said, his voice quieter now. The tone Kisuke had used reminded him of the few times he remembered his father reprimanding him.

"Of course it is!" Kisuke said with a smile. "Otherwise I wouldn't have a job."

Shinji shook his head and smiled as they continued to walk and talk.

* * *

He was fucked; well and truly fucked. He stood up straight and looked at the small crowed of men that had surrounded him and wondered not for the first time how bad he was going to get fucked up from _this_ fight. It wasn't a question of who was going to win, at least not for him. He knew for a fact that the thirteen or so guys there weren't going to be much of a match for him. It was just that he hoped after he kicked all their asses that he could at least walk away from it all. He certainly wasn't getting out of this one Scott free.

"The fuck you assholes want?" He asked loudly, the alcohol in his system from a night of excess fueling his confidence.

"Longwei wants to talk to you." The apparent ring leader said, thick gaudy gold necklace almost tight against his fat throat.

"Like I give two fucks." Nnoitra sneered.

"You don't have much choice. You don't come with us we'll take you in by force."

"Like that fuckin' worked in Shanghai. You fucktards couldn't even lay a finger on me back then." He barked out a laugh and crossed his arms over his chest.

"We have more men this time."

"Che, bring it on little fat man. You gonna be the one to take the first swing? Yer just a Blue Lantern anyway."

The short man glared at him and took one of his hands out of his pocket. With a sneer of his own he raised his arm and motioned for the others to attack. Without missing a beat Nnoitra grabbed the first man to come within arms reach and picked him up with ease, tossing him up and over the heads of the other men before reaching into his back pocket for his brass knuckles. The man screamed but the others ignored him as they swarmed, trying to take Nnoitra on all at once. Nnoitra swung out his fist encased in metal and grinned at the satisfying sound of bones crunching filled the air.

Some of the men backed off, the close quarters of the not so wide alley way making it hard for them all to work as one. Nnoitra grinned and kicked out at one man close to him, sending him crashing back into two others and watched them fall. The man he had kicked didn't get up but the others pushed off the ground and advanced. When finally a fist connected with his body he found himself disappointed with how little it hurt.

"Is that all ya fuckin' got?" He shouted, ramming his own fist into another face and drawing it back covered in thick, hot blood.

The man he had hit covered his face and fled. Nnoitra mentally noted that there were nine men left, including the one that had spoken who was standing off to the side watching the scene intently. When the first sting tore through his upper arm he realized that they hadn't come unarmed. His grin grew and he ignored the blood now seeping through the cut in his jacket. It wasn't deep. Nothing to worry about. A shot to his gut made him pause and it was long enough for someone to catch him in the face, his teeth jarring as his head snapped to the side. He felt his lip spilt and spat out the blood that pooled instantly in his mouth in the face of the closest man. Another scream, another one backing down.

The largest of the group screamed a war cry and came at him, knife held high above his head and had Nnoitra had the time he would have rolled his eyes. Idiot left himself wide open coming at someone like that. He didn't bother hitting the man and instead tripped him, easily sidestepping him as he fell but taking another punch, this time surprisingly in the thigh, for his efforts. He twisted his upper body caught something with his elbow, the tingling sensation it cause spread up his arm and making his fingers hurt. Something cut into the thick fabric of his coat and dug deep enough to tear the skin over his left pectoral. Shit, how many of them had knives?

Something hard hit him in the back of the head and his vision darkened for a second before he spun around and grabbed a man holding large object up over his head by the neck, slamming him into the nearest wall. Nnoitra squeezed until he felt something sharp drag across his chest and felt a rush of warmth wet his skin.

"Shit."

His dropped the man and ignored his coughing as he turned back to the others. A fist flew and a bone cracked. A man screamed again and pain blossomed in the side of his head. He staggered and reached out, barely grabbing the closest thing to him and pulling the body close, reaching around the front of it and gripping tight to a shoulder with one hand and the forehead with the other.

"Back the fuck off or I break the fucker's neck." He twisted just enough to show that he was serious. He'd had enough and he was starting to feel light headed, whether from the alcohol or the blood he seemed to be loosing he couldn't tell.

The man who had spoken earlier raised his hand again and no one else advanced. The man in Nnoitra's grasp panted and pleaded pitifully for him to let go. _Please don't kill me_, he whined and he felt his stomach roll. Men like this made him sick to his stomach.

"I'll give you one week to change your mind. Otherwise we won't give you a second chance to defend yourself."

He turned and walked away, the rest of the group sending angry glares at the tall, bruised and bleeding man as they followed. Nnoitra slowly let go of the man he was holding and watched as every one of them disappeared from his view. He waited as long as he could before breathing out and leaning heavily against a rough textured wall and sliding down. He didn't understand why his legs weren't supporting his weight anymore but a part of him realized this was bad. If anyone caught him laid up like this he'd be completely screwed.

"Shit." He muttered and reached in his back pocket for his phone, hoping that someone would pick up at this hour.

* * *

Shinji stared up at his ceiling and willed sleep to come. He wasn't sure how long he had been lying there wishing for it to take him under it's sweet dark waves but he figured that he should have given up by now. With a sigh he shifted to his side and looked at his digital clock. It was just after midnight and he wasn't one bit tired. He reached and tapped his touch lamp, filling the room with a soft orange glow before sitting up and stretching with a groan.

He had been told in no uncertain terms to "go the hell home" by one of his employees that night and instead of getting angry he had sighed and acquiesced. Now he was regretting the decision. He could at least be in his office making sure the books were in order or something. He thought about taking another bath to relax but he had already soaked for an hour and his skin had just recently returned to it's normal unwrinkled state. He pushed out of bed and pulled on his thick plush robe, tying the sash tight so that it stay closed and kept him warm. The nights were getting cold but he hated running the heater all night long.

As he made his way to the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea he paused when he heard his cell phone ring. With another sigh he walked back to his bedroom and picked it up, frowning when he saw the name on the display.

"What do _you_ want?"

"Well that's not a very nice greeting." A cool voice said and Shinji rolled his eyes.

"I don't have time to deal with you right now Szayel. Spit it out so I can drink my tea and get back to bed."

"I'm not going to let your sour attitude ruin my good mood. You'll never guess who just called me." Szayel waited a beat, giving Shinji a chance to answer if he really wanted to, before continuing. "Nnoi did!" He laughed.

"So?"

"Well here's the funny part. It seems he's having trouble moving around right now and he actually called for help. I can't remember the last time he did something like that."

Shinji's brow furrowed and he clenched his teeth. "So what does this have to do with me?"

Szayel cleared his throat. "Here's the deal. Nnoi's lying bleeding and inebriated in an alley near GB. I'm a bit indisposed and Grimm's not picking up so I thought…."

"No."

"Oh c'mon. You're just going to leave him there?" There was still a hint of amusement in Szayel's voice but it was fading quick.

"It's his stupid fault." Shinji snapped, ready to hang up at any moment.

Szayel huffed out a breath. "Look, Shinji, he needs help. I've known Nnoi for a long time and I'm pretty sure he's only ever called me once for something like this. From what I got out of him he's been bleeding pretty bad for a while and he's not exactly sure that he's going to be left alone." Szayel's voice dropped a few octaves before he continued. "That and he passed out while we were talking. I'm not sure how bad off he is but you're the only one who can get him at this point."

Part of him wanted to hang up and ignore that fact that Szayel had even called him, but a bigger part had him worrying at his lip with his teeth. Ten minutes later he was fully dressed and driving towards the bar Szayel had told him Nnoitra was near, muttering to himself that he was an idiot and Nnoitra was an idiot and Szayel was an asshole. He still didn't understand why the pink haired man couldn't do this himself but when he had finally agreed Szayel had hung up on him and he hadn't had a chance to ask. He pulled up a block away from the bar and got out of his second hand car, tugging the sides of his jacket closed as he looked around. The street was relatively empty but he knew from experience that that didn't necessarily mean anything. With a sigh he locked his car door and started down the first alley way he came to.

It only took a few minutes to find him, his long legs stretched out in front of him and his chin resting on his chest as if he were just sleeping. Shinji had the overwhelming urge to kick him and before he could stop himself his foot connected with Nnoitra's thigh. Nnoitra grunted and raised his head, his uncovered eye squinting up at him. Shinji frowned down at him and placed his hands on his hips.

"The fuck ya do to yerself?"

"Che, yeah 'cos I totally did this on my own." Nnoitra shot back, his voice quiet and slow.

"Well get up. Szayel said you were bleeding so we should getcha to the hospital."

"Fuck hospitals. I'm not goin'." Nnoitra said almost petulantly.

Shinji rolled his eyes and bent down, for the first time seeing the front of Nnoitra's blood soaked shirt and his bruised and battered face.

"Holy fuck Nnoi, what happened to you?"

Nnoitra grinned. "Ya called me Nnoi." Nnoitra shifted and felt his head spin. He fell back against the wall and groaned. "Fuckin' hell. I didn't drink _that_ much." He muttered.

"Well I can't fuckin' carry yer big ass so get up."

Nnoitra chuckled softly when he finally got to his feet only to find that he couldn't stand up straight. "Fuck this is gonna hurt tomorrow."

"Serves ya right, idiot." Shinji snapped, doing his best to ignore his racing heart as he half carried Nnoitra back to his car. "Ya look like shit by the way."

Nnoitra grinned again and looked down at Shinji, drying blood on his chin cracking. "You should've seen the other guys."

Shinji practically pushed Nnoitra inside the car and took a deep breath as he walked around the other side. What the hell was he doing? This man didn't deserve his help. So why was he there?

"Let me use yer shower. I don't have a bathroom at my place." Nnoitra demanded, his voice still quiet and his head tipped back against the head rest.

"And why should I do that?" Shinji asked, doing his best to keep his attention on the road and not the man next to him.

Nnoitra shrugged but didn't answer and Shinji frowned. He may not like the man very much right now but he knew him well enough to know he was acting weird. Before he realized it they had arrived at his apartment and Nnoitra was already opening the door and letting himself out, albeit slowly and carefully.

"Ya have ten minutes and then ya gotta leave. Ten minutes." He repeated.

"Yeah, yeah." Shinji unlocked the door and walked inside, surprised that Tesla wasn't there waiting for him. He hadn't been coming home lately at night so he figured things were going well with his current boyfriend.

Shinji turned to close the door and for the first time got a really good look at the state Nnoitra was in. His eyes widened and he reached out to touch the soiled, ripped shirt.

"Oh my God." He whispered, fingering the tears. "What happened?"

"Got jumped by some dudes. It's nothing." He wished he knew what to say to keep Shinji's hands on him but he couldn't think straight at the moment.

Shinji glared at his chest before slapping his hand hard and inadvertently over the deep gash on his pectoral muscle.

"Nothing? God ya haven't changed and goddamned bit have ya?"

Nnoitra winced and placed his hand over Shinji's, holding it there as he looked down at him. "Nope." He said with a small grin.

Shinji ripped his hand away and frowned at it, not seeing the fresh blood at first. His skin tingled and burned where Nnoitra had touched him. When he finally realized the blood was warm and wet he blinked stupidly

"Yer bleedin'."

"No shit. Ya just now noticed that?"

Shinji glared at him and pushed him down on the couch. "Take yer shirt off so I can fix ya up."

Nnoitra grinned. "Ya gonna play nurse for me. Ain't that sweet."

"Fuck you. And don't bleed on my couch, I just bought it!" He called out as he retreated to the bathroom for bandages. He couldn't exactly let Nnoitra keep bleeding when he knew that he could stop it, right? He was just being a good human being, that was all.

When he returned to the living room Nnoitra was shirtless and examining the cuts on his chest. Shinji hissed when he saw on the one he had hit earlier and sat on the coffee table in front of him. It looked bad, angry and red, blood steadily oozing out of it. Shinji chewed on his lip and reached inside his first aid kit of rubbing alcohol and cotton balls.

"Shouldn't I take a shower first?" Nnoitra asked quietly, his tongue coming out to play with his split lip.

Shinji avoided looking into his eye and stared straight at his chest. "The bandages are waterproof." He said simply.

He didn't bother to warn Nnoitra before he dabbed around the first wound, not one bit surprised when he sucked in a breath at the sting. He could have used peroxide to clean up but…. Once the deepest of them was cleaned out, flushed with a mild saline solution, he reached for some ointment and began to apply it carefully. He was closer than he needed to be, his body completely betraying him and leaning towards Nnoitra as he worked. He pressed a bit harder to place the bandage than necessary and was startled when a cool hand rose and touched the side of his face. He looked up at the starling violet eye and shivered when the touch turned into a caress. His breath caught in his throat as smooth fingers traced his jaw as they slowly curled around the back of his neck. A thumb brushed across his cheekbone and he had to force his eyes to stay open and his breathing to even out.

"I missed ya." Nnoitra practically whispered and Shinji almost choked. He shook his head slightly and tried unsuccessfully to back away, not really sure why he couldn't manage it with Nnoitra's light hold on him. "I thought about ya every day."

Shinji shook his head once more and his body jerked when Nnoitra sat up straight and leaned forward, closing what little distance was left between them. His eyes stayed wide on Nnoitra's face and his mouth dropped open of it's own accord. He was lying, he had to be lying, but part of Shinji knew that was just a defense mechanism to hide the hope and joy that was starting to blossom in his chest. Nnoitra rested his free hand on the table beside Shinji's hip and moved forward, angling his head so that his mouth was hovering over Shinji's, lips almost touching. Shinji swallowed convulsively and bit back the small moan that wanted to escape him. Too close, Nnoitra was too close. His scent, even over the blood and the stink of the alley he had been in, was flooding his scenes. His breath mingling with his own was making his head light and the light brushing of his thumb on his cheek was sending electricity throughout his entire body. They stayed close for a small eternity, sharing air as their bodies trembled ever so slightly. Just when Shinji was about to lose it and press up against that tempting mouth above his the front door opened.

"Shin-cha…." Tesla stopped in his tracks, his eyes going wide at the scene before him.

Shinji, startled by the intrusion and ashamed at what had almost happened, pushed Nnoitra back and stood up, stumbling backwards over the coffee table and righting himself as he ran a hand back through is hair.

"Take your shower and leave." He said coldly before retreating to the safety of his bedroom.

Once his door was shut and locked his slid to the floor and pulled his knees up to his chest, resting his eye sockets on them as his arms hung limply at his sides. There was absolutely no denying how much he had wanted that kiss to happen this time, no way around that he had been so tempted to be the first one to make that contact. He groaned quietly and squeezed his eyes shut. And there was no denying that he was very much _not_ over Nnoitra.

* * *

Szayel pet the top of the black haired girl who was currently laying in his lap and sighed contentedly, wondering if his little plan had worked out. Sure, he could have gone to get Nnoitra himself but he had already been balls deep in a willing woman's mouth when his old flame had called and he sure as hell was going to push her skilled lips away just for _him_. And sure he_ could _have called Grimmjow first, like he said he had, but since he hadn't done anything recently to piss him off he figured he'd let him sleep.

It was Shinji he had wanted to get back at. Damn that blond for refusing his offer. He really was good at performing for the cameras, taking direction perfectly and moaning and crying out at all the right times, whether he felt anything or not. And it had all seemed so real that each of his movies had practically sold themselves. It had been such a shame to lose him but to have him act as if he had in some way been wronged over all that had happened… well it just wasn't right.

Szayel hoped that Shinji was getting what he deserved and hoped as well that Nnoitra was suffering at least a little. Szayel could carry a grudge through the apocalypse and his past with the tall man had given him more than a few things in which to do so. He smiled at the woman in his lap and grabbed her by the back of the head, pulling her up and chuckling at her tiny cry.

"I'm not done yet." He said, pointing at his once again hard cock. She smiled and nodded before returning to her earlier task.

He let his eyes slide closed and the smile stretch on his face. He would see what had gone down in the morning.

* * *

A/N Before I forget, Blue Lantern in a term used by the Chinese Mafia, or Tirad, to refer to uninitiated members. What Nnoi would call "grunts". Also, GB _is_ actually a bar in Tokyo. So I had to do this chapter now because I've been thinking about it for quite some time and I felt kinda bad for making you all wait so long for the last chapter. So here it is! I hope you all enjoy it and to all the mother's out there who read this HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!! I hope you enjoy your special day. I know I will :D Thanks so much for reading and again, I hope you enjoy it :D

~Penny


	5. Complicated

Complications

Nnoitra turned to Tesla and glared at him even as his head swam with the movement. "Ya fuckin' stupid little _faggot_. Ya gotta fuckin' ruin everything dontcha?"

"N-Nnoitra-sama… I didn't….." Tesla stuttered, dumbfounded to see his idol sitting half naked in his apartment and covered in cuts, blood and bruises; not to mention the fact that he had almost been kissing Shinji. And here he thought he had come to terms with their past.

Nnoitra ground his teeth and only fought the urge to kill because his head was spinning and it was starting to make him feel a little sick; and even more pissed off.

"I toldja ta stop callin' me that." He bit out before pushing himself off the couch and wondering yet again why he was this unsteady. He hadn't been hit that hard or bled that much, had he? "The fuck's the bathroom?" He muttered, making his way down the short hallway he had seen Shinji disappear down earlier.

This night was so fucked. All he had wanted to do was get a little drunk and then go home. Sure he could have bought some beer and gone back to his place to drink alone but he still didn't have the television from Grimmjow yet and he really hated drinking alone with nothing to occupy his time but his thoughts. Reminded him that he was alone and right then he had wanted very much to be with someone. Of course the someone he had wanted to be with was being a stupid bitch and avoiding him and just when he finally thought he was going to get somewhere with him the grade A idiot fag of the year had fucked it all up. On top of it all he had opened his big mouth and ended up blurting something out that he really had no intention of ever telling the blond, truth or no.

"Sound like a fuckin' woman." He grumbled as he found the bathroom and shut the door behind him. There was no way he was going home this filthy, especially if a free shower was being offered.

"Nnoitra-sama, do you need any help? You look really hurt."

Nnoitra turned and locked the door. "Go the fuck away damn it!" If he was going to let anyone help him, and by help he meant get naked and wash him with his own body, it would be Shinji.

He looked quickly around the room, noting that it was at least twice the size of Shinji's old bathroom, and found a stack of wash cloths. He switched on the tap and unbuckled his belt, letting the thick denim fall with a soft thud to the floor. True to form he wasn't wearing anything underneath and with a quick check at the temperature of the water he pulled the catch, ripped off his eye patch, and stepped under the searing spray. The water stung all the cuts on his upper body and he realized that there were more than he had thought there were. When he put his head under the shower head he hissed but stayed put. Apparently the hit to the head had broken skin as well. In the heat of the moment it could have been a bag of bricks that hit him but it had felt like a pillow.

A part of him began to wonder how they had found him so quickly. True, he had been back in Tokyo for about a month already but he thought he had covered his tracks a bit better than that. He sneered into the empty shower stall and cursed Aizen for giving him that job; cursed himself for being so eager to get the fuck out of Japan. If it hadn't been for that he wouldn't have met Longwei or any of his men in the first place. A part of him still couldn't believe that Aizen had sent him off to do what he had done. He shook the thoughts out of his head and groaned. He didn't want to think about that right now.

Picking up a bottle he hoped was shampoo, he squirted a small amount in his hand and slowly worked it into his hair, his long fingers massaging his scalp, not bothering to be tender of his wound. It took a moment for the smell to reach his nostrils but when it did he stopped moving. Shinji may have had a thing for bubblegum lube but when it came to things he washed himself with it was always one of three things and it always depended on the season. Strawberry scents were for Spring and early Summer. Coconut and vanilla throughout the summer and into Autumn. Mid-Autumn and all through the Winter was a glorious mix of pear and cinnamon. Nnoitra mentally searched for the date as he took in the scent, the spiciness of the cinnamon and the sweet of the pear swirling and fogging his brain. It was only late September but he had switched out his scents. From what Nnoitra remembered Shinji didn't usually switch until his birthday in October.

Not many would have guessed it but Nnoitra's memory was excellent when it came to things like this and with Shinji it seemed even more so. He hadn't and would never forget a damned thing about that stuck up, moody blond; had filed it all away and pretended to be a forgetful moron for reasons he even wasn't sure of.

With a jolt Nnoitra realized he was going to go home smelling like the very man that refused to touch him or be touched. With a quiet groan that surprised even him in it's subdued tone, he rinsed and reached for the conditioner, sniffing through to open bottle before applying it to his hair.

The body wash was a new scent, the only other one in the shower was melon and he knew that Shinji hated to smell like melons, regardless of the fact that it would have thrown the whole pear, cinnamon scent completely off. This one was clove and added to the pear and the cinnamon Nnoitra couldn't decide if he was horny or hungry. His head spun a little and he did his best to hurry up and finish. He wanted to get some fresh air and clear his head as soon as possible. After a quick scrub down with the clove scented body wash he rinsed and shut off the water, grabbing the first towel he could reach and running it over his hair before pulling another one off the rack to dry his body with.

After slipping back into his dirty jeans he took a look at himself in the foggy mirror and sneered, titling his head to the side. It was a good thing he didn't care much about how his face looked because right then he looked like shit worked over. It wasn't swelling too bad but he'd be bruised up for a few days. He ran the towel over his head one more time, slipped his eye patch back on, and opened the bathroom door.

The house was silent and Nnoitra paused in the doorway, not really sure why he was so reluctant to move. With a quick roll of his eye and a snort he walked down the short hall to the living room to grab his shirt and jacket. Shinji was in the open kitchen, his back to the living room and subsequently Nnoitra. He stopped and eyed the blond, his ramrod straight back and tense shoulders, and wondered what the hell he was doing. He reached down for his jacket, trying to decide how to go about approaching the blond without getting hit, he'd had enough of that tonight, when Shinji spoke, breaking the silence.

"You need a ride?" He asked quietly and Nnoitra could only stare. A free shower _and_ a ride home? That was almost too good to be true.

"That'd be cool." He mumbled back. He wasn't sure what had changed Shinji's mood but he certainly wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Shinji sighed and hung his head. "Let me get my keys."

Five minutes later they were in the car and headed towards Nnoitra's apartment, the silence thick between them. Nnoitra had never been one for small talk and he had a feeling that if he said anything stupid, or licentious, Shinji would just pull over and kick him out of the car. Not that he wouldn't go without a fight but he still had no inclination to walk home without a shirt, he had tossed the shredded bloody thing in the trash before they left, and wet hair. In this weather that would be a death sentence.

Shinji kept sending him side long glances and it was starting to drive him nuts. After the fifth one he couldn't keep his mouth shut any longer.

"Ya got somethin' at say, Blondie?" He asked, his tone a bit harsher than he had meant it to be.

Shinji opened his mouth and shut it before taking a deep breath and finally speaking.

"The fuck ya doin' fightin' like that?" He mumbled, seeming almost irritated that he had asked.

"'S'not like I went lookin' fer it. This time."

Shinji snorted.

"The fuck you doin' pickin' me up fer? I'm pretty sure I called Szayel."

Shinji breaked just a tad too hard at a stoplight and Nnoitra could almost hear the younger man grind his teeth.

"Because that asshole was _busy_, so he called me instead."

Nnoitra couldn't stop the grin. "So ya were worried about me."

"No! I… I just…."

"Light's green." Nnoitra said with a cocked brow.

"Fuck you." Shinji grumbled and stomped on the gas.

Nnoitra couldn't help but feel a little smug at the thought of Shinji running to his aid. He hadn't really thought about anything before hand, his head only clearing after the shower, but it made a couple parts of him swell to know the blond still cared. Even if it was just a little.

It was hell trying to be good; trying to keep his hands on his side of the car and not reach out to the blond. He wasn't very good at holding back and to any outsider it would have looked like he had a serious twitch with how much he was fidgeting. In his head he was fighting back impulses that he wasn't sure he really wanted to hold back in the first place. He huffed out a sigh and looked out the window, shifting in his seat for the hundredth time. This was stupid._ He_ was stupid. All he had to do was reach over and pull the little bitch into his lap and kiss him with everything he had and Shinji would melt. Fucking melt. And he knew it; they both did. So why wasn't he doing it? Besides the fact that the car was still moving and that particular action would cause a wreck. He could always wait until Shinji was dropping him off.

He was so lost in his own plotting that he hadn't realized the car had stopped and Shinji was still refusing to look at him. He turned to the blond, his intent still unclear, and suddenly grinned. He slammed the car into park, thank God for automatic transmissions, placed one hand on Shinji's door and leaned forward, caging the blond in. Shinji looked up at him like a frightened animal but wasn't given a chance before lips were pressed against his hungrily. Finally! Nnoitra's mind shouted, and his hips scooted closer to the center console. Shinji wasn't exactly kissing him back but he certainly wasn't pushing him away.

With his free hand anchoring his weight against the headrest on Shinji's chair he tilted his head to the side and opened his mouth, letting his tongue glide across the seam of Shinji's lips. He felt the younger man shudder and did it again, groaning quietly when those lips parted a fraction and he felt a hot stream of breath on his own. A long fingered hand pressed against his chest lightly before curling and fisting; but never pushing. Nnoitra sucked Shinji's bottom lip between his teeth and pulled, delighted at the small strangled sound he made. He let it go and licked at Shinji's upper lip, the blonde's mouth falling further open and his breath shuddering out.

"Kiss me damn it." Nnoitra husked and to his surprise, and Shinji's, a pink tongue flicked out against his own.

Nnoitra groaned and let his tongue slide against Shinji's loving the feeling of the smaller man nearly trembling beneath him. It wasn't until he sucked Shinji's tongue into his mouth that Shinji actually made a decent noise, the deep throated moan starting in his chest and working it's way up before finally tearing from his throat. Nnoitra's cock twitched to life and a second hand traced along his chest before curling behind his neck and tangling in his hair. Shinji pulled back and looked up at Nnoitra through his lashes, his breathing labored with a slight hitch.

"You… pierced yer tongue."

"Ya like?" Nnoitra asked, not giving him a chance to answer before crushing his lips back down and forcing said tongue back inside Shinji's mouth.

Thin fingers pulled at his hair as another warm hand slid up his chest to copy its twin. Nnoitra let go of the door and reached down, closing his hand over Shinji's hip and pulling him closer. Shinji's foot caught the accelerator and the engine revved, startling him enough to pull away.

"I can't do this." He said, whining when Nnoitra's teeth buried themselves across his neck.

"The fuck you can't." Nnoitra growled, letting his bottom teeth scrape up the side of Shinji's neck.

"Ooooh-ff…." Shinji's head fell back and hit the window with a dull thud and he moaned loudly when Nnoitra reached his Adam's apple, sucking and nibbling on it when he did.

Nnoitra's fingers dug deeper into Shinji's hip and he once again pulled him closer, Shinji's thigh digging into the hard plastic console. He abandoned Shinji's neck and returned to his mouth just in time to swallow another half hearted protest. Shinji's back arched and his fingers slid down to Nnoitra's shoulders, his short, blunt nails digging into the skin there. Nnoitra was in heaven. All he could think about at the moment was pulling Shinji's into his lap and letting the seat drop back so the man could ride his cock like the old days. Granted they had never had car sex before, but that was beside the point.

When Shinji's elbow caught on the wheel, signaling the horn, he jerked away from the man above him. He was panting, his eyes barely able to stay open, and his skin was on fire. Nnoitra leaned forward again but Shinji managed to dodge his advance.

"We can't do this."

"Why not?" Nnoitra asked, still trying to catch Shinji's mouth with his.

"Because I… I hate you, baka."

"Liar." He grinned.

"And we're on the fuckin' street!"

"So?"

Shinji growled and pushed at Nnoitra's shoulders. "We aren't fuckin' teenagers. Yer thirty for fuck's sake."

Nnoitra frowned and sat back a little. "Not thirty yet. Got a couple months fer that."

Shinji rolled his eyes. "Get off me and get out of my car."

Nnoitra shook his head. "Nah, I like it here just fine. Yer finally lettin' me touch ya…."

"You assaulted me!"

Nnoitra's eye widened in mock disbelief. "Did not!" He grinned. "'Sides, ya liked it."

"I did no-…"

He was cut off abruptly when Nnoitra cupped the front of his pants with his long fingered hand and squeezed gently. He shivered and his eyes rolled closed briefly.

"Yer cock says different."

Shinji pushed at him again and this time managed to get him back a little more. He scooted back a bit so that he could sit up straight and glared at Nnoitra.

"Look, I gave ya ride so that I knew ya got home safe. That wasn't a free ticket to do whatever ya wanted to me. I still hate ya, and that ain't gonna change just 'cos ya stuck her tongue in my mouth."

Nnoitra sneered a smile. "I could shove my cock in yer ass if ya prefer."

Shinji balled a fist and punched Nnoitra's chest wound, delighted when the larger man grunted and reached up.

"Fuck you!"

"Damn it, that kinda hurt ya know." Nnoitra grumbled, pulling his hand away to check for blood.

"It was supposed to asshole. Now get out of my car."

"I said, no."

"God you idiot!" Shinji practically screamed, hitting Nnoitra again, this time in the shoulder. "Ya can't do this to me! Ya can't just fuckin' leave me for two fuckin' years and come back like nothing happened." Shinji's eyes were closed tight and he had pulled his legs up to his chest. Nnoitra frowned at him, leaning back in his seat a bit more as the tide of emotions poured out from the blond man and crashed like waves over him.

"I was gettin' better. Things were finally goin' good for me. My business is takin' off, I'm was getting' good up here," he tapped the side of his head for emphasis. "And you just… you just…."

Nnoitra stared, almost horrified as he saw a tear slide down Shinji's cheek. "Just get out."

Nnoitra shook his head without answering. He wanted to say something, knew he should say something, but nothing was working right. He hadn't expected Shinji to be like this. Angry, sure. But this upset? He shook his head again and Shinji growled, kicking out and catching the larger man in the chest, hard.

"Get out!"

Nnoitra reached behind him and opened the door, almost falling out of the car in his need to flee. This was too much for him. He didn't know how to deal with what Shinji was feeling and as much as he wanted to stay and do something, anything, he couldn't. He barely had time to grab his jacket before Shinji shot across the seat and slammed the door shut, locking it before practically throwing himself back in his own seat and pulling away from the curb, tires squealing. Nnoitra scratched the back on his head and sighed, shoulder slumping and head hanging slightly.

"Fuckin' hell." He grumbled as he turned and walked up the stairs to his apartment. That really hadn't gone nearly the way he had hoped. He'd been right in his earlier assessment. This night was fucked.

* * *

Shinji made it two blocks away before he had to pull over. After shutting the car completely off he lowered his head to the steering wheel and let it all out. Tears formed at the corners of his eyes but stayed for milliseconds before falling heavy to his thighs. A deep and heavy sob tore from his chest and his body shook with the force. How dare he? How _dare_ he do that to him? How could he think that after all this time that everything would be okay? That Shinji would just let him back in his life like no time had passed? Was the man fucking insane? Now way. No way in _fucking hell_ he'd let that man back in his life.

Through the tears Shinji shuddered as unwanted images of the hated man crossed him mind. Shirtless and covered in bruises and blood. Aroused and leaning over him, his lips parted just slightly as he advanced. He could still feel his lips on him. Still feel his tongue against his and his teeth against his neck. He shuddered again, this time letting it take over his entire body, shaking his down to his toes and back up to his head. Goosebumps stood out on his skin and he tried desperately to catch his breath.

The fuck of it all was that he was hard as a rock and the mere thought of what had just happened made him ache with need. With another pitiful sob he reached down and unbuttoned his pants, pulling the zipper down and reaching inside to pull himself free. As humiliating as it was to jerk off on the side of the rode while thinking about the very man he didn't want to, he couldn't seem to stop himself. Sure fingers wrapped around his cock and he shivered, his breath catching in his throat. He pressed the pad of his thumb over the already leaking head and spread the fluid around a bit, coating his fingers with it before stroking himself. He moaned quietly, silent tears still dripping from his eyes. Picking up his speed he tried and failed to stop thinking about Nnoitra. About his naked chest pressing against him. About his soft lips brushing his. About his rough hands touching him. About that tongue, that damnable tongue sliding inside his mouth and trying to devour him.

Why couldn't all men kiss like that? Like they were trying to lick out your soul?

"Sh-shit." He whispered, his hips bucking once. "Shit."

He couldn't get that sensation out of his head; off of his body. The feel of that warm metal ball against his tongue was new but it was still Nnoitra. Despite the change in accessory that man still kissed like he always had. Like a demon.

"Shit." Shinji moaned and with one last buck of his hips a single word tumbled from his lips unbidden as he came in his hand.

"Nnoi."

* * *

Ichigo sighed and knocked on Shinji's bedroom door for the fourth time.

"C'mon Shinji. You gotta open the door. Otherwise I'll break it down and then you'll get all pissed at me."

Silence.

Ichigo groaned quietly and knocked one more time. Shinji had been in the room for two days now, refusing to answer his phone, and he was really starting to worry. The only thing he could get out of Tesla was that Nnoitra had been by and he could only imagine what had happened to make his friend hide from the world. Not for the first time images of killing the tall man breezed through his head. Just as he was about to give knocking one more chance the front door to Shinji's apartment flew open and Etta walked in, eyes blazing.

"Where's my baby?"

Ichigo jerked a thumb at the door and barely managed to step out of the way before Etta pushed him. She tapped once on the door and whispered softly.

"Shin-chan, baby. It's okaachan."

She waited a moment, the silence heavy between them, before there was a barely audible click and the door opened a crack. Etta gave Ichigo a small pat on the shoulder before she entered the room, shutting and locking the door behind her.

"What the hell?" Ichigo mumbled to himself, wondering why he was there now that Shinji had let his mother in the room and not him. With a shake of his head he left the house and headed home. He had better things to do and he was sure that after Etta calmed Shinji down he would be getting a phone call anyway.

Inside the bedroom Etta crawled up on the bed with Shinji and wrapped her arms around him, cuddling him close to her body as he nuzzled her small bosom. She stroked his thick hair and kissed the top of his head, murmuring her love into his ear.

"Ya can't hide forever, Shin-chan." She whispered.

Shinji nodded. "I know."

"Ya got a business ta run."

"I know."

She kissed his head again and continued to pet him. "Was it that man?"

Shinji nodded again. "Yeah."

"Can't let that get to ya forever either."

"I know."

Etta smiled sadly before chucking him. "I love ya Shin-chan, but I ain't gonna watch ya do this again. So get up, take a shower and get to yer office 'cos yer staff's been askin' 'bout ya."

Shinji gave her a weak smile and nodded once more. "Yeah."

Etta helped him sit up and placed her hands on either side of his face, kissing him on the lips before hugging him tight.

"Thanks okaachan." It wasn't like much had been said, but just being with his mother made him feel a little better. He wasn't back to normal yet, but he at least felt the urge to get out of bed for the first time since he had gotten home after dropping Nnoitra off at his apartment.

Etta pet his hair one more time before standing up and pulling Shinji to the door, opening it and leading him to the bathroom.

"I can do this part myself." Shinji grumbled, feeling like a kid for the first time in years.

"Yeah, but I'mma make sure ya actually do it before I leave."

Shinji rolled his eyes and stepped into the bathroom, turning to face his mother before he shut the door. Etta smiled and gave Shinji a little wave, waiting for the door to shut completely before she turned and walked away. He leaned back against the door for a moment and took a deep breath. He knew his mother was right but he still didn't want to be out of his bed yet. Thought being alone with his thoughts hadn't been helping much. In the hours he had secluded himself it seemed he had relived those two years he had spent with Nnoitra. The reluctant relationship they had together, the amazing sex, the roaring fights, and strangely companionable moments they shared when it was just the two of them.

With a sigh he pushed away from the door and turned on the tap, letting the water warm up as he undressed himself. He looked at his face in the mirror and almost rolled his eyes at what he saw. Good lord but he looked horrible. Dark circles under his eyes, pale face drawn and tired looking. Even though he knew he hadn't gotten much sleep he hadn't realized he was this bad off. He shook himself and pulled back the shower curtain, pulling the catch before stepping inside and under the hot spray.

If only those three stupid words had never been said. Then maybe Nnoitra would have never left. Maybe Shinji wouldn't have to feel like everything was his fault and there was nothing he could do about it. Maybe, just maybe, they could be in the same room together; be just as they were before.

He shook his head and leaned back to get his hair wet. This line of thinking never got him anywhere and he had to stop thinking like that. What was done was done and there was no going back in time to change it. With another deep sigh Shinji reached for his shampoo and squirted it into his hand. It was long passed time to move on.

* * *

A/N Ahh, sorry about the long wait. I had life crap get in the way a bunch lately and Guh.... lol. Anywho, I hope you all like this chapter. I had originally planned things ot goa bit smoother between the two in the car but I had a bad night and took it out on them ^^; Love you all adn again, i hope ya liked this one :D Enjoy!

~Penny


	6. Decisions

Decisions

"But I don't want you to go." Ichigo practically whined as Grimmjow set another case of beer in a cloth bag sitting on the kitchen counter.

Grimmjow sighed and arranged the items he was taking with him tonight. "Ichigo, I'm just gonna go drink and hang out with Nnoi for a while…."

"Yeah but you're leaving tomorrow for _three days_. Why can't you do it when you get back?"

Grimmjow rolled his eyes and sent a look to Ichigo that clearly conveyed how he felt about this particular conversation. Ichigo had been whining for almost an hour about Grimmjow going out tonight and he was almost ready to snap at him. If it hadn't been for that cute little pout to his mouth and that stupidly adorable sad scowl on his face he probably would have. Instead he was caught between the urge to kiss him or laugh.

"I'm going to go hang out with my friend that I haven't seen in two years. We're gonna watch some TV, drink a few beers…."

"You're taking all the beer in the house!"

"And chat it up." Grimmjow continued on like Ichigo hadn't interrupted him.

"But I hate him. You saw what he did to Shinji." Ichigo pressed, leaning closer to Grimmjow and scowling, in anger this time.

"Yes, I did see what happened to Shinji." He refused to believe it was all Nnoitra's fault what had happened because he knew the blond well enough now that that couldn't possibly be the case. "But I'm still going."

Ichigo tried a different tactic, propping his hip against the counter and pouting up at Grimmjow in earnest. It had worked for him in the past. "But I wanted you to stay home tonight and be with me." Ichigo reached out to finger the bottom of Grimmjow's shirt.

Grimmjow almost lost it then and had to bite his cheek to stop the loud barking laugh he knew was trying to rip itself free. Oh, this was just too much. He turned to Ichigo, hoping that his face was composed, and cupped his cheeks, bringing him close for a quick, gentle kiss.

"I see you every day and every night. You'll live."

Ichigo rolled his eyes and frowned. "Asshole."

He did laugh this time, kissing Ichigo's nose before pulling back to finish packing his bag. "You knew that when you fell in love with me." He said before leaving the kitchen.

"That's not the point." Ichigo called after him.

"Fine, I'll fuck ya nice and good when I get back." Grimmjow yelled from the bedroom.

Ichigo flushed and looked at the kids in the gated off play area near the couch. "Don't say that kinda thing in front of them."

Grimmjow poked his head out of the bedroom door and looked at the kids before looking back at Ichigo and shrugging. "What? It's not like they understand what I'm saying."

Ichigo rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. Grimmjow chuckled and approached him, wrapping his arms around his waist and kissing his cheek.

"Yer actin' like a girl again."

"Fuck you." Ichigo shot back but with little heat as his fingers curled in the belt loops of Grimmjow's pants.

"Mmm. Later. I promise." His voice was deep and vibrated in his chest, the hot breath wafting across his neck as Grimmjow moved.

"This... This isn't over. Stop doing that." Ichigo complained as Grimmjow began to nibble on the spot behind his ear.

"What this?" He asked playfully before licking the skin and blowing lightly on it.

Ichigo shivered and closed his eyes. "Yeah, that." He said breathlessly.

Grimmjow's fingers where playing at the back of Ichigo's tight jeans when there was a knock on the door. Grimmjow pulled away and smacked Ichigo's backside sharply before grinning almost triumphantly and leaving him to answer it. Ichigo scowled after him and crossed his arms over his chest again, prepared to glare the man who he knew was at the door down. He'd finally gotten a chance to speak to Shinji the day before and, though the details were surprisingly lacking, he knew now for certain that Shinji's self imposed, but brief, social exclusion was all his fault.

Nnoitra walked through the front door when Grimmjow let him in but he didn't even bother looking at Ichigo so his glare was utterly wasted. With a deeply affected sigh he walked over to the play area and picked up Sorin, intending on getting him ready for a bottle first as it was dinner time for the triplets. Grimmjow watched Ichigo walk out of the living room before turning to Nnoitra and speaking with a low voice.

"Don't fuckin' say anything to him or we'll never get out of here. He's all fuckin' butt hurt about what you did to Shinji."

"I didn't do fuckin' shit. He's the one that freaked the fuck out." Nnoitra countered angrily but Grimmjow put up his hands.

"I don't really care. Just don't talk to Ichigo. I don't wanna hear it." He stepped away from the door to pick up Tomoe and take her to the kitchen. At nearly six months old all three of them were sitting in their highchairs for meals, even if it consisted of formula from a bottle and some teething biscuits. "Besides, he's already bitchy about me goin' over there tonight."

Nnoitra rolled his eye. "Fuckin' needy bitch."

Grimmjow just snorted before disappearing in the kitchen. He came back with a full bag of beer and pointed to the floor by the couch absently as he looked over his shoulder at Ichigo.

"There's the TV." He said before grabbing Ichigo's arm and pulling him close.

"I love you."

Ichigo pouted but the edges of his mouth titled slightly. "Love you too."

"You'll be all hot and ready for me when I get back, right?" He asked in a low voice and Nnoitra rolled his eye again. Why were they doing this in front of him? Couldn't they have said their goodbye's in the kitchen?

"Whatever. Just don't be too drunk."

Grimmjow leaned forward and pressed his lips to Ichigo's, sucking lightly before pulling back with a grin and licking his lips. Ichigo tried to hide his blush by turning and scratching his head but when the sound of screeching and a dull thud and splash came from the kitchen he sighed.

"Tomoe's done." Grimmjow smirked and reached to pick up Taichi.

"No, she's pissed off because I gave her, her bottle first." Ichigo said before moving to clean up the mess in the kitchen.

"C'mere little man." Grimmjow said, kissing Taichi's plump cheek. "Daddy will see you in the mornin'."

Taichi grabbed at Grimmjow's face and babbled something incoherent. Grimmjow grinned and hugged him. "Two steps away from sayin' daddy." He mumbled and Nnoitra couldn't help but sneer at the sickeningly touching scene before him.

"We goin', _daddy_?"

"I'm sayin' bye to my kids, asshole." Grimmjow shot back before taking Taichi to the kitchen for dinner.

Nnoitra waited impatiently, sure he could hear Grimmjow and Ichigo kissing and murmuring love in the kitchen before Grimmjow laughed and came walking out with a large smile on his face. He looked at Nnoitra as he picked up the bag of beer and walked to the door.

"The fuck you doin'? Grab the TV. Let's go."

"TV's fuckin' heavy." Nnoitra complained and Grimmjow held up the bag in his hands.

"Hands're full." He said and laughed when Nnoitra flipped him off.

When they got to the apartment Nnoitra kicked the door closed behind him and almost threw the TV at Grimmjow who walked casually in and plopped himself down on the pullout couch that had been yet to be folded back up. He had managed to find it just as the former owners were getting rid of it and offered them a few yen to take it off their hands. Then he'd called Starrk to help him move it, surprised when the man only complained five times. The couch itself smelled slightly musty but he had sprayed it down with some sanitizing spray and covered it with a large sheet when it was closed. The mattress, he found upon opening it, had never even been used and was still wrapped in a plastic cover.

"Dude, you got some shit in here." Grimmjow said, mildly impressed, as he set the beer on the only available counter space. "You could'a put the bed away though."

Nnoitra snorted. "Aw, and here I thought we could get some cuddlin' in without the bitch around."

Grimmjow laughed at that and folded the bed away as Nnoitra set the TV on a low end table he had found in an alleyway a few blocks down.

"Think I'd cuddle with yer ugly ass?" Grimmjow shot over his shoulder.

"Tch, think I'd cuddle with yer old ass?"

"Hey, no pullin' the old card asshole. Yer only two years younger than me."

Nnoitra cocked his eyebrow as he bent down to plug the TV in the only outlet the room provided. "Yeah, but I ain't thirty yet so fuck off."

"Details." Grimmjow grunted.

Nnoitra fiddled with the TV while Grimmjow got out a couple beers, setting one near his friend as he took a spot on the couch. He looked around the small room and sighed inaudibly. He didn't miss living like this at all. He liked the nice things he had, the money and the stability. It was nice to remember where he used to be and how hard he had worked to get to where he was now, though, and being around Nnoitra did that for him sometimes. A small and sentimental part of him hoped that one day Nnoitra would know that kind of life.

"Shit, nice ass TV and I'mma be stuck watchin' DVDs." Nnoitra grumbled when he only managed to find one station that came in relatively clear.

"Need a DVD player for that." Grimmjow commented.

Nnoitra sneered at him and sat back, leaning against the wall near the table. "Workin' on it, dude."

Grimmjow raised his eyebrows and cracked open his beer. "Oh yeah? So yer stickin' around this time?"

Nnoitra shrugged. He had been thinking about life a lot lately and though that kind of hard thinking pissed him off he knew it was necessary. He wasn't getting any younger but he certainly wasn't ready to settle down and become an old man. It was just nice to think that he'd have a place to come home to every night, a place to call his own.

"Gonna work for Starrk for now. Blowin' shit up was kinda fun last time. He's gonna put me in construction starting Monday."

"Right on. Surprised he's givin' you yer old job back though." Grimmjow commented.

Nnoitra shrugged again. He had told Starrk that he had to leave before he took off and the man had just shrugged and said, "Whatever." in a tired voice. Now that he thought about it, Starrk was the only person whom he had told anything to before leaving. Nnoitra grabbed his beer and sucked half of it down in one pull before leaning his head back against the wall.

"He likes how I work I guess." He said with a bored tone.

"Never thought I'd see the day you settled anywhere."

"Che. You expect me at say somethin' like, 'You inspired me Grimm.' Right?"

The blue haired man laughed and shook his head. "It's the blond, right?"

"Fuck off."

"No way. I know I'm right. Yer still hard up for that bitch aren't you?" Grimmjow leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees, an almost eager expression on his face.

"I ain't hard up fer nuthin'."

"Bullshit." He grinned and linked his fingers together. "I heard from Ichigo that Shinji turned you the fuck down again but then locked himself in his room for a couple days."

"What are ya, a gossipin' woman now'days?"

"I get backrubs if I listen to Ichi bitch. I figure it's a good compromise." Grimmjow shrugged.

"Yeah, 'cos babysittin' all day is hard work."

"Fuck you. I have a new respect for mothers now takin' care of those three all day long _and_ tryin' to work. And stop tryin' to change the subject."

Nnoitra rolled his eye. "Fuckin' hell. If I tell ya about what happened in China will ya drop the bitch talk?"

Grimmjow grinned again and nodded his head, sitting back and cocking his head to the side. "I'm all ears."

* * *

Ichigo looked over at his friend and took a deep breath. Shinji had come over about an hour after Grimmjow had left and was currently on the floor trying to encourage Sorin to crawl to him. Sorin, happy yet determined and wet grin on his face, was doing his best, kicking his legs and waving his fat little arms around in an attempt to move.

"No, like this." Shinji said, grabbing Sorin's legs and bending them underneath his body. "Now try."

Sorin fell forward and began to wiggle again.

"He'll get it eventually." Ichigo said. "So what's up, you said you wanted to talk."

Shinji, still smiling at Sorin's fail attempts, looked up and tossed his hair over his shoulder. "I've got a date Friday."

Ichigo could only stare at his friend, a look of abject bewilderment on his face.

"Ichi, breathe." Shinji giggled.

"But, three days ago you were… and then… but…."

"Tesla hooked me up. I need to move on and I think datin' will be good for me."

Ichigo lowered his head into his hands and shook it. "So you're going out with a guy _Tesla_ picked out?"

Shinji grinned. "Kinda. They met at the club a few years back and since Tess is still seeing that married guy…."

"Wait, he's with a _married_ man?" Ichigo asked, shocked at the news.

Shinji raised a thin eyebrow at him. "Why does that surprise you?"

"Well I thought he would'a learned his lesson after that one woman tried to run him over with her car."

Shinji shrugged. "Well this dude he's settin' me up with ain't married so it's no big deal."

"Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, things just got stirred up with… with_ him_. I don't think you should just jump into this."

"Ichi, I haven't dated since that idiot. Four years. Four years since I actively sought out a partner because of that man. I think I waited long enough." He sighed and pulled at a string on the hem of his pants, absently thinking that he really shouldn't be pulling on it or it would unravel. He wasn't counting Tesla because technically they had only dated for a week and didn't even have sex.

"Yeah, but… Shin, are you sure you aren't just trying to replace him?" Ichigo asked, his voice low and quiet. He hadn't wanted to bring something like that up, he really didn't like upsetting Shinji, but it had to be said.

Shinji snorted. "He can't be replaced." He said, even quieter than Ichigo had been. He cleared his throat before continuing. "Besides," His voice was stronger now. "I can't keep thinkin' about him anymore. And the best way to get him out of my head is to put somethin' else in there, ne?"

* * *

_Oh. My. God._ Shinji thought to himself, not for the first time that evening. It was Friday night, his date was sitting in front of him at a table in a nice restaurant and he couldn't stop staring as the man chewed his food. At first he had tried to be polite about it, only barely looking at him as he ate his own food. But now he just stared, watching bits of half chewed chicken fall from his open mouth as the sounds of mastication reached his ears. He wasn't even sure what the man was saying at this point, all his attention was focused on that disgusting display, his brows drawn and his eyes wide.

"So I was like, fuck you man. I dressed nice so yer gonna let me in." The man laughed and a chunk of food landed near Shinji's water glass. He resisted the urge to flick it back at him only because he didn't want to touch it.

"Heh." Was the best Shinji could manage.

"So we goin' dancin' after this?" The man asked and Shinji nodded, staring at the rice stuck to his chin.

_Wipe it off! God, can't you feel that? _His mind screamed but he kept his mouth shut. The man finally wiped his face on his dirty napkin and sat back in his chair.

"Mmm, that was good shit. I should bring my next date here."

Shinji nodded his head absently, wondering not for the first time why he was still even there. He should have left the moment the guy had started flirting with the waiter… three minutes into the date.

"You do that." Shinji said, wiping his own face and taking a small sip of water. It was the only thing keeping his mouth shut and his ass firmly planted in the chair. If he had been drinking anything stronger he was sure he would have hit the asshole or done something equally drastic.

They decided to walk to the club they had planned on going to, seeing as how it was only about a block away. Shinji stuck his hands in the pockets of his pants after zipping his jacket closed. It was almost October but the weather was more like December only without the snow, a hard wind whipping at his hair and making his eyes sting.

"So you been to this club before?" The man asked.

"Yeah, plenty. I know the bouncer personally."

"Awesome. I heard there are a ton of easy guys here. If I can't get you in bed, I can at least bag a different partner for tonight."

Honesty was good and all but this guy was ridiculous. "Well the I guess ya should start lookin' the minute we get in then." He bit out and the man stopped, eyebrow raising.

"Whoa, hey. What's wrong baby?"

The muscles in Shinji's right arm twitched. "Don't call me baby, ya uncouth bastard." He grit out.

The man's head tilted to the side and he frowned, wrinkling his nose a bit as he did so. "What's that mean?"

Shinji rolled his eyes and they walked into the club. The first thing he did was order a drink. He was done being nice to this idiot and decided it was time to let his tongue loosen just a bit more. The man, for his part, offered to pay for the first one.

"But the rest are on you baby."

Shinji sneered and ordered the most expensive drink he could straight out, downing it before ordering three shots of tequila. The man smiled, no doubt thinking that with Shinji drunk he'd be easier to handle. Three shots down Shinji turned to the dance floor and sighed, a slight and giddy smile on his face as the slow burn down his chest made his entire body feel warm. He started away from the counter when the man leaned forward and tried to kiss him.

"The fuck you doin'?" Shinji yelped, pulling back and staring up at him.

"Kissin' you. I'd've thought that was pretty obvious."

"Don't."

"Aw, c'mon. I bought you dinner, a drink and I've been really nice to you. The least you can do is kiss me." Shinji supposed he was trying to look sexy but it came across as sleezy.

"Fat chance."

But still the man persisted, following Shinji out to the dance floor and trying at least two more times to wrap his arms around him and kiss him. It was ridiculous and he simply wouldn't take no for an answer. Shinji tried his best to ditch the man but every time he thought he was safe up he'd pop and ask some stupid question like, "So you wanna get a hotel?"

"No, I don't wanna get a fuckin' hotel. This date's over asshole. Back the fuck off."

"Geez yer a little bitch you know that? I go outta my way to be nice to you and you can't even return the favor."

Shinji snapped. "Nice? NICE? When the fuck were you nice this entire night? You flirt with the waiter, tell me yer gonna bring yer next date to dinner at that place, tell me yer gonna hook up with another person here if I don't put out and try to kiss me without askin'. What part of that is nice?"

"Anybody ever slapped you for that mouth of yours? Ungrateful bitch."

Shinji growled in frustration and anger and didn't bother stopping his hand as it shot out and connected with the man's face. It had been quite a while since he had actually slapped someone but he felt it was the best way to go with this guy.

"Lose my number." He screamed over the music, a few dancers clapping at the scene as he stalked away.

That was by far the worst date he had ever been on. Steaming, he walked the four blocks back to his car, the whole time wishing that he had never left the house. The alcohol was burning in his system now, making his head feel light and dizzy. He tried not to pay attention to it, tried to ignore the way it was setting his angry blood on fire but by the time he was at his car he realized that there was no way he'd be able to drive home without running at least one person off the road. And it had nothing to do with the alcohol.

At the screeching ring of his phone he reached back and pulled it out of his pocket, flicking the talk button and biting out a terse greeting.

"What?"

"Oh, now that's not a very nice way to answer the phone."

"Fuck you, I'm in a bad mood." He growled, almost ready to hang up on the man.

"Was your date that bad?"

"Szayel, what the hell do ya want?" And how did he even know about the date in the first place?

"I was wondering if you were alright. I hadn't heard from you after I called you last time."

Blood began to boil. "I hate you. It's all yer fault what happened."

"Oh, what happened exactly? Did the idiot make a pass at you?"

"I don't wanna talk about it." Shinji pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, trying to calm himself down. "Shit."

"Do you need any help?"

"Fuckin'… goddamnit." He took a deep breath. He was really going to regret this. "I need a ride home."

On the other end of the line Szayel grinned maniacally. "Do you know?"

* * *

"So you kicked him in the chest and drove off?"

Shinji nodded and took a sip off his bottled water. He had no idea why he was telling Szayel all this, but that man was for once not being a creepy, lecherous asshole. After he had asked for a ride he had sat on the hood of his car and waited for the man to pick him up. At first he had been thinking about how he was going to kill Tesla when he got home. How he would laugh as his thin fingers wrapped around the idiot's neck and he laughed at the life choking out of him. He knew that it wasn't Tesla's fault but it made it easier to blame him for the night's events.

And then his mind turned over the night. He had been surprised when he had first seen the man. He was tall, taller than Shinji anyway, and thin, long black hair pulled back in a tail at the nape of his neck. His eyes had been dark and slanted, his smile wide and full of teeth. At first he had been acutely attracted, his eyes raking almost hungrily over the man's body as he walked up to him at the restaurant. It had taken him a moment to realize that the reason he had found the man so attractive was because he reminded him of someone else. Another tall, thin man with a wide smile and slanted, though violet, eyes. He supposed that was when the night had started going down hill. On top of all the annoying and flat out rude things the man did he couldn't stop comparing him to Nnoitra. And the man, not surprisingly, had come up far too short.

He sighed out the window of the car, his mind drifting to the last time he had seen the man. So much of him had wanted to keep going; to never stop letting him kiss him, touch him; hold him. No matter how many times he kicked himself for that kind of thinking he always came back to it. Everything he had worked so hard to hide, to trap down under miles of stone in his heart and mind, exploded and begged for attention the moment Nnoitra had knocked on his door all those weeks ago.

Szayel looked at his younger passenger and resisted the urge to roll his eyes. The two of them, Nnoitra and Shinji, were so stubborn. He was still upset at both of them, for various large and small reasons, but that didn't stop him from feeling, no matter how small it was, a little sorry for them. Still, it didn't sound like things had gone the way he had wanted them to the other night and he had to fix that problem. In order for his plan to get back at both of them for whatever slight his mind had decided they had made, something a bit more… drastic, had to happen.

"I have an idea that you may not like." He started carefully, eyeing Shinji from the corner of his eye.

Shinji frowned at the window but didn't turn. "What? And no I'm not helpin' ya with yer movie."

Szayel chuckled. "Not that, I swear. I was thinking maybe since you have all this pent up emotion in regards to Nnoitra you should do something to release it."

Shinji turned this time, his frown deepening. Szayel smiled at him charmingly. "What the hell're ya talkin' about?"

"What I mean is, it might do you both some good to have that one last fuck. That bit of closure you never got when he left the last time."

"That's just stupid." Shinji said, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. "How is fuckin' gonna help all this?" He waved his hand in the air ineffectually at the thought.

"Like I said, closure. Isn't that what you've been looking for all this time?" Szayel kept his voice quiet, knowing that it would cause a large impact on the blonde's fragile mind. He was so easy to manipulate sometimes.

Shinji frowned, the idea starting to seed in his mind. He did need closure but he wasn't sure if Szayel's idea would work, or only make things worse. The idea of being with Nnoitra again, of continuing what had gone on in the car, was so tempting and yet so horrifying he couldn't decide if he wanted to smile or throw up. He shook his head again.

"No," He said quietly, turning his head so that he looked out the window once more. "That's a stupid idea."

Szayel sighed and looked out over the windshield with a small almost imperceptible grin. _Just keep mulling it over, Shin-chan_, he thought to himself quietly as he continued to drive. _Let your mind wrap around the idea. Let it fill you up until you can't think of anything else._ Shinji sat oblivious to the other man, his thoughts unknowingly forming just the way Szayel wanted them to.

* * *

Nnoitra yawned and bent down to rummage in his small refrigerator. He wasn't really hungry so much as bored. He hadn't felt like going out that night, not after the last time, so he had opted to stay home and watch the stolen cable he had gotten care of one of his neighbors. There was surprisingly little on for a Friday night and he wasn't all that tired. Not tired enough to sleep anyway. It would have been cool if he wasn't out of beer, but he was too lazy to go to the store and get more at the moment. Sighing and standing to full height, he stretched his back, a few satisfying pops could be heard over the television. He was just about to head back to the pullout bed when there was a light almost hesitant tap at his door. He wasn't sure at first that it was even his own door. He looked down by the side of the couch and picked up the heavy iron rod he had picked up from the scrap pile at a worksite Starrk had shown him. Better safe than sorry. He walked the few steps to the door and wished he had a peephole. He snorted at his paranoid thoughts and held the rod at the ready, just in case, as he opened the door.

At first he wasn't sure that what he was seeing was real. Maybe he had fallen asleep on the couch after all and he was already dreaming. He looked down at the top of a bent head and watched as it lifted in almost slow motion, honey colored eyes finally roaming up to his face, a worried and hesitant look furrowing the brow. His breath caught in his throat and his eye went wide, his arm lowering the rod but not letting go just yet.

"Wha…?"

Shinji took a deep breath and closed his eyes before opening them with a determined look.

"You alone?"

* * *

A/N *Hee* I fell a tad bit bad because basically this chapter has TWO cliffhangers in it. I don't feel bad enough to change that though, ;p I don't usually do things like this but I wanted to dedicate a song to Nnoi and Shin. Before I started writing this story I came across this song, not a new song by any means, but it was a good song. Anyway, it made me cry because it was so fitting for the two. Anyway, I not only want to dedicate it to this story, but most definitely the next chapter. I think all of you should listen to it at least once because it's fuckin' perfect. Anywho, I really hope you enjoyed this chapter and as always I'd love to hear what you all think. Good? ;p

~Penny

Here's the link: .com/watch?v=okC4hw8IPYg (Yes I realize I'm not supposed to add links here but so what. Listen, follow the lyrics and feel for Nnoi and Shin)


	7. Over and Over

Over and Over

"You alone?"

Nnoitra could only stare, his mouth open and his normally sure and cocky composure totally shot. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. Shinji was there, all dressed up and standing right in front of him, looking up with that sexy challenging gaze of his. The rod hit the floor with a dull 'thunk' and he cleared his throat.

"Y-yeah." He stumbled over the word, his eye trying to take in every bit of the thin blond from his tight black coat and his equally tight black pants. A small chain hung from one hip, looping back to his back pocket and was studded along the way with various sized disco ball charms; five in total. The pants themselves were covered randomly in different colored zippers and the shoes he wore where a shocking, vibrant pink. Nnoitra couldn't say he understood the style but it didn't mean that he thought it looked bad. Then again, not much looked bad on the blond. The whole thing made him curious to see what was under the jacket.

"So ya gonna make me stand out here like an idiot er what?" Shinji snapped, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms over his chest.

Nnoitra stiffened and sneered. "The fuck ya doin' here? I thought ya hated me?"

"Just let me in asshole."

Nnoitra stepped back, sweeping one arm to the side and Shinji took two shaky steps inside the small apartment. He couldn't believe he was there in the first place. After his little talk about closure sex with Szayel the pink haired man had pulled up to the dingy apartment complex and grinned saying that this was as far as he was going to take him. Shinji had of course protested, remembering the place as Nnoitra's home, but Szayel hadn't budged and finally, in his anger, Shinji had jumped out of the car and shouted that he was going to walk home then. The moment the car door had shut he knew he had made a mistake. Actually the mistake had been in calling the man in the first place. Szayel had rolled down the window and sent him a wide and almost lunatic grin.

"Have fun!" He called out before driving calmly away.

Shinji had stood on the sidewalk for a while, staring in the direction Szayel had driven off. He shouldn't have been surprised at what the man had done but it didn't make him any less pissed off about it. So it was a decision between walking up steps that seemed a mile long to talk to a man he was pretty sure he wasn't ready to face, or call a cab. When he remembered that he had purposefully left all but a two thousand yen note at home he groaned. It would cost a fortune to get a cab home and he had spent what little cash he had already on the booze. Now he had no choice but to go upstairs. He could walk but… no, walking was out of the question. It was cold and would probably start raining any moment.

Now that he was inside all he wanted to do was get away. Walking in the rain suddenly sounded like a wonderful idea. So what if he caught a cold and ended up with pneumonia? Nnoitra's place was too small and having the tall man standing next to him made it feel even smaller. He wrapped his arms around his waist unconsciously and shifted his weight on his feet to his right side. He nearly jumped when the door was shut behind him and three locks slid into place.

"Why'd ya lock it?" He asked, hoping Nnoitra couldn't detect the slight panic in his voice.

"You seen my neighborhood." He explained with an unconcerned shrug.

They stood in awkward silence for a moment, Nnoitra trying to figure out if he should say anything or just attack. Attacking hadn't turned out so well the last time though and he really didn't want to make Shinji cry again. He really hated it when people cried but when Shinji had cried strange things happened to him and it pissed him off. His insides had gone all gooey and his heart had fluttered in his chest. Like a fucking woman. He ran a hand back through his hair and snorted.

"The fuck you doin' here?" He asked again.

"Stranded." Shinji answered tersely, vowing to kill Szayel the next chance he got.

"The fuck you doin' all the way over here?"

Sighing, Shinji let his arms drop and he looked around the apartment… if it could even be called that. His lip curled without him realizing it. This place was ten times worse than his old apartment. The puke green paint on the walls was peeling in several places and there were multiple stains on the tatami mats beneath his feet. He was almost afraid to take his shoes off, customs be damned. The window was so close he would have been able to see outside in four steps; maybe three depending on his stride. The place was surprisingly clean though, the grey sheet covering the couch tucked in at all the right places, the tiny kitchen spotless and free of clutter and debris. He remembered back to when Nnoitra had been basically living with him and how much he had hated to clean up after himself then.

"I… don't have any way to get home right now." He said, making his voice louder than it needed to be with how close they were standing to hide the tremors.

"Can't ya call yer _mommy_?" Nnoitra asked with a sneer.

"No, she's in Osaka this weekend for a show." Shinji said offhandedly. "Ya don't even have a bathroom."

"Ya came here at use my toilet?"

"God, will you just shut up?"

"Tch." Nnoitra sneered and leaned a shoulder against the wall next to the door. "So ya thought ya'd come askin' me fer help?"

Shinji glared at him. "It's the least ya can for me after all I've done for ya."

Nnoitra's eye looked him up and down before a small smirk tilted his lips. "I ain't given ya my bed."

"I didn't ask for it."

He pushed away from the wall. "Have a seat, I ain't tired yet so I ain't turnin' out the lights." He walked to the mini fridge and opened it again. "You thirsty 're anythin'?"

"Got any beer?"

He shook his head. "I got this shitty wine Grimm gave me for some stupid reason." He grabbed the bottle off the counter and glared at it. Grimmjow knew Nnoitra hated wine.

"Whatever."

Shinji sighed and walked stiffly to the couch, sitting down but not getting too comfortable. This whole scenario felt strange and forced. He could tell Nnoitra was holding back and he knew that he was doing everything in his own power not to flee like a coward. When a fat plastic cup was shoved in his face he frowned at it before reaching out and taking it, peering over the rim to see what was inside.

"Well, isn't this classy? Drinkin' wine from a plastic cup."

"So sorry for not havin' the right glassware to appease yer fine taste, bitch."

Shinji snorted and rolled his eyes before gulping the liquid down. As far as he was concerned Nnoitra could have handed him the bottle. Nnoitra sat heavily on the couch, a single cushion between them, stretching his legs out in front of him as he eyed the blond surreptitiously. A part of him was mildly impressed he had kept his hands to himself for so long but it was clear even to him that his control was slipping. And why was he controlling himself in the first place? Well that was simple, he wanted to see what the blond was up to. It didn't make sense that he was in this part of town, let alone that he was "stranded" as he said he was. He watched Shinji's throat work as he swallowed the wine and gave a sympathetic response. He pictured a thin stream of red wine dripping down his chin and sliding down the side of his neck. He wouldn't have stopped himself from licking it up in an instant.

Shinji cleared his throat and looked down into the cup once more. "Can I have s'more?"

Grinning, Nnoitra got up off the couch and handed him the bottle. Knowing Shinji he'd be plastered in no time. Shinji unscrewed the cap and took a pull straight from the bottle.

"Now that's fuckin' classy."

Wiping his chin Shinji glared at him. "Fuck you."

"Keep drinkin'." He countered under his breath.

The silence was punctuated with the soft glugging sound of the bottle tipping and the tangy liquid streaming in between Shinji's lips. He could feel himself starting to feel a bit warm, a bit fuzzy around the edges and he almost smiled to himself. He liked that feeling right before he got too drunk. A few more sips and he'd be over the edge. He capped the cheap wine and set the bottle on the floor, looking over at the TV with feigned interest. It was amazing what a little alcohol could do to a person, he thought fleetingly. He felt… comfortable now, the heavy weight of anxiety lifted from his shoulders and stomach. It was nice just being able to sit there next to Nnoitra again and not fight; not even want to fight. Of course there was a tiny voice in his head telling him that things could get dangerous if he let his guard down, but he told it to shut up. He hated that voice, always trying to butt in and spoil his good moods.

Nnoitra grabbed the remote and started flipping through channels, not really paying any attention to what shows he was passing up on. The waves of chaotic emotion were no longer radiating from Shinji and for a moment he just let himself relax. A part of him sighed in relief and just wanted to sit back and enjoy it. Unfortunately another part of him had other ideas.

"So…." He said at length, turning his head to the side to see Shinji better. "Wanna fuck?"

At first he thought Shinji hadn't heard him and then, to his intense surprise, the blond snorted and followed it up with a giggle. A long fingered hand reached up and covered his face and before long he was outright laughing, leaning forward and holding his stomach with his other arm. Nnoitra's lips twitched in a half amused sneer as he shifted his body to the side.

"The fuck's so funny?"

"I'm sorry." Shinji said, trying to control himself and wiping at a tear that had formed in the corner of his eye. "Just… kinda déjà vu, ya know?"

"Ya gave in last time." Nnoitra pointed out and Shinji nodded, a small smile still on his face.

"Yeah but that was then and this is now." He said almost sadly.

He took a deep breath and turned his upper body towards Nnoitra, cocking his arm and placing his elbow on the back of the couch. His vision wasn't swimming yet so he knew he was at least in control of most of himself. He had so many questions he wanted to ask this man, so many things he wanted to do to him, not all of them violent in nature. He took another deep breath and frowned.

"Do ya have a pillow I can use?" He couldn't seem to get the right questions to come out.

"Only got one." Nnoitra said with a grin. "Guess we gotta share."

"Tch, fat chance."

"So what? All I had ta do ta getcha ta loosen up a bit was give ya booze?" Nnoitra asked suddenly.

Shinji shrugged. "I just don't feel like arguin' right now. Simple's that."

"Good, so let's fuck."

Shinji sighed. "Not that drunk." He said under his breath and Nnoitra snorted.

"Ya never had to be drunk fer it b'fore."

"I never hated ya this much before." Shinji replied matter-of-factly.

"Ya know," Nnoitra started, turning off the TV and facing the blond. "I had shit ta do alright? Took a little longer than it needed to, but so what?"

"Ya could have called me. Or left a fuckin' note that'cha were leavin'." So much for not being in the mood to argue.

"Yeah, well I didn't ever do that before."

"And it pissed me off every time ya did it!" Shinji glared at him. "What the fuck was so important that ya had to leave like that?"

"I had a fuckin' job to do and it ain't none'a yer business."

"Well it's good to know yer job meant more to ya than I did!"

They stared each other down then, glaring and wanting to move but unable to.

"God yer such a little bitch sometimes. What the hell do ya want me to do? Cry and say I'm sorry? Fuck that shit. I'm back now so what…."

"I may be a bitch but I'm not stupid like you. Ya can't just come back here and expect everythin' to be the same. It's been two years. Over two years. Things have changed. I've changed. I'm not gonna just fall into yer lap… argh-ah!"

Nnoitra reached out and grabbed Shinji by his wrist, pulling him literally into his lap. "Just did."

"F-fuck you!"

"Shut up." Nnoitra gripped Shinji's wrist tighter and wrapped his other arm around Shinji's waist, pressing him close to him before bending his head down and sucking his bottom lip into his mouth.

Shinji tilted his head back when a pair of teeth bit down harshly on his lip and felt electricity shoot to his nipples and groin.

"Ya can't do this." He all but whispered.

"Oh yeah?"

"I'm drunk."

"Che. I'm not gonna be all gallant and say 'I ain't gonna fuck ya when yer like this.' I'll fuck ya now, I'll fuck ya good and hard and I'll fuckin' enjoy." He let go of Shinji's wrist and grabbed him by the back of the head. "And you will too."

Shinji shivered and shifted his body to get more comfortable. "Make me."

Grinning, Nnoitra pulled Shinji closer and covered his mouth with his, slanting his lips and opening them so that his tongue could tease in between Shinji's. Shinji groaned and reached both hands up to fist in the shirt at Nnoitra's shoulders as his mouth opened and his own tongue flicked against the invader. Nnoitra's hand slid down to cup Shinji's ass, his fingers caressing the cleft and Shinji arched his back as he initiated a deeper kiss. There was no backing down from it this time, no car horn to bring either one of them to their senses. No one was going to walk in and interrupt them. Shinji shifted again, pushing back against Nnoitra's hand and moving his leg so that he was straddling Nnoitra's hips. With legs spread Nnoitra had better access to what he wanted, his fingers now trailing further between Shinji's legs, gliding over his balls and up over his covered entrance.

"Ah, shit." Nnoitra almost sighed before licking the side of Shinji's neck.

Shinji shivered and let his head fall back, giving Nnoitra room to roam with his long tongue. That wicked, wicked tongue. Nnoitra's teeth nipped and bit everywhere they could, scraping and marking the delicate skin. Shinji moaned quietly and tugged at Nnoitra's shirt, bowing his back and pressing his hips forward. Nnoitra hissed and pushed Shinji off his lap, standing and turning to tear the cushions and sheet off the couch.

"Take those fuckin' clothes off." He growled as he pulled the bed out.

Shinji was already three steps ahead of him, the zipper on his coat coming undone with one hand while the other tackled his pants. The jacket fell to the floor and Shinji had to back out of the way as the bed was brought out. He licked his lips, pulling his bottom one between his teeth, and opened the front of his pants. Nnoitra ripped his shirt over his head and didn't give Shinji a chance to finish undressing; or change his mind. He picked him up bodily and tossed him on the bed, pouncing as soon as Shinji hit the mattress. Not bothering to take his time, Nnoitra dipped his head and bit Shinji's nipple through his shirt. Shinji's back arched off the bed and he pulled at Nnoitra's hair.

"Fuck, Nnoi." He breathed.

"Get this stupid thing off." Nnoitra husked.

"Ya didn't give me time, asshole."

Nnoitra snorted and lifted himself up on his elbows. "Take it off or I'll rip it off."

Shinji grumbled but his hands were trembling when he moved them to unbutton his pale gold dress shirt. He knew he shouldn't be doing this, knew that he shouldn't have even let the first kiss happen but too big a part of him didn't care. He had waited and wanted for so long to touch Nnoitra, to feel the muscles beneath his skin move as he crouched over him and sent him over the edge with his mouth, hands and vulgar words. He could kick himself about it later. For now this was what he wanted more than anything in the world.

Nnoitra grinned when Shinji's chest was finally revealed and bent to lick a line from Shinji's sternum, up his neck and over his chin before meeting him in a deep and possessive kiss. Thin hips pressed him into the mattress and a hard, thick cock was ground into his thigh. Shinji couldn't have stopped the deep, loud moan that came from him if he had wanted to. Oh, God that cock. Nnoitra fingers pulled blindly at Shinji's pants one of his fingernails catching and tearing the skin before he managed to pull one side down over a slim hip. He pulled away from Shinji's mouth and attacked his neck as he pulled at the other side of his pants.

"Too fuckin' tight." He growled and Shinji chuckled breathily.

He lifted his hips and pulled his pants down over his ass himself, looking up at Nnoitra with amusement and arousal in his eyes. "Better?"

Nnoitra only grinned and bit and kissed his way down Shinji's chest. His hands pulled the pants away from Shinji's body, leaving Shinji to kick out of them once they were at his feet. Nnoitra used one hand to unbutton himself and his own pants slid easily off, joining Shinji's in a heap on the floor. When naked flesh met Shinji hissed and dug his nails into Nnoitra's shoulders, arching his back and letting his eyes roll back. Nnoitra moaned and rocked his hips against Shinji, nudging open his legs with little difficulty. Shinji lifted one leg and hooked it over the back of Nnoitra's thigh, and he dragged his blunt nails down his back.

"Hurry." He all but whispered and Nnoitra let out another low groan.

Bypassing the barely planned foreplay he reached up and pressed one of his long fingers to Shinji's lips, slightly shocked at the reaction his body had when that pink tongue flicked out and pulled his finger inside his mouth. He trembled and let his eye roll closed as Shinji's tongue curled around his finger, wetting it completely. Pulling his finger out he reached down between Shinji's legs and probed for his opening, the tip pressing inside slowly. Shinji sucked in a breath and bit his lip.

"What?"

"Been a while."

Nnoitra grinned. "Yeah?"

"Shut up."

Nnoitra chuckled and pressed his finger slowly inside, the constant pressure causing Shinji to arch his back and moan wantonly. The last time he had had sex was the last video he had done for Szayel and that had been almost eight months ago. Sure he had masturbated but it was always different when it was someone else touching you. When that long finger curled and pressed against his prostate his entire body jerked and he let out a gasp.

"Oh fuck!"

Nnoitra chuckled breathily and sank his teeth into Shinji's collar bone. "That's right." He purred.

He had to stop soon, he realized, to look for the lube. He knew it was near the couch but with the bed out he wouldn't be able to just reach out and find it. And as much as he wanted to take his time in things, Shinji was already panting and writhing beneath him and if he didn't fuck him soon he was going to blow. He pulled his finger out and sat back on his heels, waiting for Shinji to look up at him. When he did he frowned and lifted himself up on his elbows.

"What?"

"Touch yerself while I get the lube." Nnoitra commanded in a deep voice and to his intense delight Shinji barely hesitated before wrapping his pale hand around himself and stroking gently.

Shinji couldn't help but stare as Nnoitra moved, his cock twitching at the sight and the attention it was receiving. He was a bit thinner than he had been but for some reason it didn't make him any less attractive. The cuts were still livid against his skin and he seemed to have a few more scars to add to the older ones. When Nnoitra turned Shinji felt a small smirk tilt his lips when he noticed the tattoo on his right butt cheek. He had gotten the lotus flower when he was fifteen, drunk and egged on by both Grimmjow and Szayel. He hated the thing but had never had anything done about it. When Nnoitra turned again Shinji though he noticed something on his lower abdomen but before he could see what it was Nnoitra was back over the top of him, leaning down to lick at his neck. Shinji's head tipped back again and his hand slowed to a stop.

Nnoitra grabbed Shinji under the knees and pulled, sending the blond crashing back down to the bed. Without warning, other than a wide grin, he pressed two long and slick fingers inside him. Shinji bucked his hips and closed his eyes, his breath hitching in his throat.

"Shit yer already loosenin' up. I could prob'ly fit…," Nnoitra slipped a third finger easily in beside the two already slowly fucking Shinji and licked his lips. "Ah fuck."

"Shit." Shinji panted. "Just fuckin' do it already."

"Bossy bitch." Not that it bothered to him in the least at the moment. He pulled his hand away once more and slicked the remaining lube over his own cock, hissing at the sensation it caused.

Taking a firm hold of himself he positioned his cock at Shinji's entrance and pressed, shuddering at the resistance. Shinji went stiff before nearly launching off the bed and up into Nnoitra's arms, sitting down harshly on the fat cock penetrating him and wrapping his legs around his waist. Nnoitra's arms wrapped around him, holding him still as he shook.

"Oh fuck. Oh God. Oh Shit. Oh yes." Shinji panted in a litany of curses and pleas.

Shinji tilted his head up and kissed Nnoitra's neck, his tongue and teeth touching every part they could reach. When he lifted himself he cried out softly before latching on to Nnoitra's mouth with his. Nnoitra's hands cupped Shinji's ass and helped him move, his brain frying with every twitch in Shinji's body. It was so tight and so good. One hand shifted and caught hold of Shinji's hair, yanking backwards and causing the smaller man to cry out. Nnoitra sneered and looked down at him, licking his neck once before yanking again on his hair. Shinji's fingers linked behind Nnoitra's neck and he rocked his hips as he rose and fell. Nnoitra groaned and pulled his hair again.

Shinji was in heaven, the stretch, the burn, the fullness, all of it making his mind reel and his body heat. It was too much; it was not enough. And the only word that kept running through his brain was: More. He wanted so much more. He trailed fire tipped kissed to Nnoitra's ear, his breath gasping out as his body was jostled as he fucked himself. His tongue flicked out and pulled Nnoitra's ear lobe closer, between his teeth.

"Fuck me." He breathed into his ear and he felt Nnoitra' shudder.

"Thought I was doin' that." Nnoitra grit out.

Shinji slammed himself back down and rolled his hips, moaning when his prostate was pressed harshly against.

"Harder. Like ya used to." He whispered and grinned at Nnoitra's answering groan.

Suddenly finding himself spinning and his face pressing into the mattress he couldn't stop the smile as he bent his knees and arched his back, his ass almost waving in the air in anticipation. Nnoitra brushed Shinji's hair off his back and out of his way as he plunged back inside him, another deep throated groan tearing from him. He grabbed Shinji's elbows and pulled them back so that they were touching, sneering grin stretching his lips when Shinji moaned and bucked back against him. That was it. The end of whatever control he had miraculously held on to up until that point. With a sharp snap of his hips he let go completely and fucked Shinji as hard and as long as he could, the blond's moans and screams making him want to pound harder, grip tighter, pull back even more on his arms. He needed more arms. He wanted to fist Shinji's hair and shove fingers in his mouth. Wanted to do everything he knew the blond loved all at once. He was doing that thing again with his ass, contracting and relaxing the muscles and when finally they clamped down around him tightly and he heard the guttural scream come from Shinji as he came, Nnoitra's body stiffened and he pushed inside Shinji as far as he could go before cumming as hard as he had in as long as he could remember.

They collapsed, Nnoitra barely managing to roll at the last minute to avoid crushing the smaller man, and lay panting on the bed. Shinji shuddered once before rolling and curling into Nnoitra's body, his face rubbing against his shoulder. Nnoitra smiled warily and slung an almost limp arm around his shoulder, kissing the top of his head before letting exhaustion take him.

* * *

Shinji woke first, not really understanding why he was so hot or even where he was. He shifted slightly and opened his eyes to a large expanse of chest and the night came flooding back to him. He was mildly surprised when the shame didn't come to tear at his soul and even more surprised when he smiled into the chest, snuggling closer. It was still dark out, he couldn't have been asleep very long, and he wondered if he should just go back to sleep. Nnoitra shivered and mumbled something before rolling on his back and reaching out blindly with an arm. Shinji bit his lip and watched him flail for a moment before sitting up and looking down at him.

"The fuck ya doin'?"

Nnoitra's eye popped open and looked over at him, going wide before he too sat up.

"Holy shit." He said before seemingly catching himself and grinning. "Lookin' fer the blanket."

Shinji sighed. "The fuck's the bathroom?" He asked with a yawn.

"Down the hall on the right." He watched Shinji get off the bed and slip back into his pants before pulling his shoes on and stepping out in to the hallway.

He had really thought that had been the best wet dream ever. He hadn't thought that Shinji would give in so quickly but was delighted with the outcome. Maybe the stupid bitch would let everything go back to how it was before, now. Shinji wasn't gone long and was shivering like crazy when he came back. He warmed his hands under hot tap water as Nnoitra sat up in bed and turned the TV back on. He wasn't tired anymore and was beginning to wonder if he could talk Shinji into round two. Shinji turned and looked at him as he dried his hands on his pants.

"Mind if I have more of that shitty wine?" He asked and Nnoitra shrugged.

Shinji downed all but a third of the bottle before crawling back into bed and under the surprisingly thick, warm covers. Curling into Nnoitra once more he closed his eyes and passed out for a second time that evening.

* * *

He woke later to a pounding headache and stiff, sore muscles. He hurt everywhere it seemed and he was afraid to even blink. With a quiet sigh he squinted his eyes opened and nearly groaned at what he saw. Nnoitra was in bed next to him, naked and warm. He had done it after all. The shame he had been expecting the last time he woke up with him like a ton of bricks now that his mind was sober and all he wanted at that point was to get out of there as quickly as his hangover would let him. He sat up slowly, both trying not to wake Nnoitra and keep his head on his shoulders, and began pulling his cloths back on as quietly as he could. He was almost at the door when a gruff voice stopped him in his tracks.

"The fuck you goin'?"

Shinji cleared his throat but didn't turn back to look at the man still in bed. "I got things ta do taday." He said quietly.

Nnoitra snorted. "Yer bailin'."

Shinji stiffened and turned. "Am not."

"Liar."

He sighed. "Look, just 'cos last night happened doesn't mean anythin's changed. Sorry if ya thought too much into it."

Nnoitra shook his head and sat up in bed. "Now who's callous?"

Shinji frowned and clutched his jacket closer to him. "Sex doesn't make it all better, Nnoi."

He didn't let himself say anything else, didn't hear Nnoitra if he said anything as he left. He just shut the door and practically fled down the hallway. Once outside he spotted a familiar car and his shoulders slumped a bit. When a pink head stuck out of the window and smiled cheerily at him he wasn't sure if he wanted to hit him or just go home. To much was going on inside his head to think straight at the moment and it was making his hangover even worse. He stepped to the passenger side of the car and let himself in, leaning back into the leather seat and closing his eyes.

"So, did you enjoy yourself last night?" Szayel asked with a knowing smile.

"I'll kill you later. Right now just please take me back to my car."

Szayel chuckled and pulled away from the curb. "Whatever you say, Shin-chan."

* * *

A/N Don't look at me like that. Sex really doesn't make anything better. I know you all wanted a happy sappy conclusion for this chapter but ya ain't gonna get that yet. Too many emotions and stuff floating around for these two. BUT! We are getting VERY close to finding out some VERY juicy information; namely what exactly happened between these two two years ago. And a bit more conflict over the events in China. :D Sorry it took so long to get this out and I really hope you all enjoyed it. Also, I know that some of you couldn't get the link to work that i posted in the last chapter. The song I'm dedicating to both Shinji and Nnoitra as well as directly to this chapter is called Over and Over by Three Days Grace. Great song and very fitting. Anywho, I'll stop my ramblings now. :D Next chapter hopefully will be out soon! Love you Duckies!

~Penny


	8. Complacent

Complacent

With a deep sigh Nnoitra lay back on the fold out bed and closed his eyes. He couldn't believe he had let himself get his hopes up like that, but he had. It pissed him off but he should have known better that Shinji loved to make everything he did harder than it needed to be. Stubborn bitch. He didn't really understand why they couldn't just forget about the past and start over. It seemed like a good idea to him and it would have gotten rid of so many of the little problems and the pent up emotions. But maybe he thought that way because he knew that this time it was at least partly Shinji fault too. All of it.

He cracked his neck with a quick jerk of his head and sneered at the rumbled bed sheet as if he could lay the blame for his shitty mood there. If only it weren't Saturday, he sighed. At least if it were Monday he'd have something to do today. No sense in sitting around doing nothing all day long. He threw the covers off himself and grabbed a washcloth from the cupboard above the sink he had been using to store certain things. After a quick sponge bath and a change of clothes, he grabbed his keys, phone and wallet before heading out to find something productive or at the very least fun to do to take his mind off things he couldn't being to sort out by himself.

* * *

Tesla was in the kitchen cooking when Shinji got home, humming to himself as he did so, and he turned to smile warmly at the younger man. He gave Shinji's disheveled state and spotted neck a once over before he said anything.

"So how was last night?" He asked with a knowing smile and a small chuckle.

Shinji rolled his eyes and tossed his jacket on the couch. "Last time I ever hook up with someone _you _set me up with."

Tesla's eyes widened and he turned completely around to face Shinji. "What do you mean, Shin-chan?"

Shinji walked to the kitchen as he told Tesla the story, mumbling almost in his fatigue. He leaned over, snatching a bit of egg off the stove and sucking it down hungrily, not realizing how starved he was until that moment.

"But you did have_ some_ fun it looks like." Tesla said, pointing out the multiple hickeys and bite marks on Shinji's neck and half exposed chest.

A small smile tilted his lips unknowingly and he nodded before walking slowly out of the kitchen. "Yeah." He said, the words barely audile.

Once in the bathroom he started the tap for the shower and began to undress himself, watching his movements in the mirror before examining the damage done to his skin.

"Asshole." He muttered but it lacked any sort of heat. "Always gotta mark me up." He added, sending out a thanks that the weather was cold enough now for him to wear high collared shirts and not arouse suspicion.

He clenched his hand in his shirt before bringing it up to his face. It smelled like Nnoitra and Shinji's eyes fluttered closed as he inhaled deeply. He didn't understand why he wasn't freaking out about this. Why he wasn't crying or raging or at the very least vowing to never seen that stupid man again. He just… couldn't. He wasn't so much numb to the situation as slightly complacent, which in an of itself he knew to be dangerous. It had gotten him into too much trouble in the past and he cursed himself for doing it yet again. He couldn't afford to be like this right now.

He opened his eyes and dropped the shirt to the floor before stepping under the shower's hot spray to get ready for the day.

* * *

Solid Gold was usually open from three in the afternoon until three in the morning except for Friday's and Saturday's when it was open from noon until three in the morning. Business could be made by appointment or drop in if anyone was available. After the hype of the opening things had settled but that wasn't to say that business wasn't still booming. Besides the hosts themselves there was the bar with a small dance floor and Shinji was also making preparations to build a restaurant to accompany everything. People could spend all day there once that was done and Shinji couldn't help but smile to himself about.

He was making his rounds, checking with the staff and customers alike to ascertain how things were going. Yumi met him at the bar, his recent customer having left early for an emergency and his next one not showing up for another twenty minutes. He slid on to a bar stool gracefully and ordered a water before looking up at his boss.

"My, aren't we just glowing today?" He purred and Shinji had to fight the urge to roll his eyes. Comments like that reminded him of Szayel and he wasn't best pleased with that man at the moment.

"I'm not glowin'. It's the lightin'." He returned, pushing his long braid back over his shoulder.

Yumi leaned closer before speaking again. "Every so often a smile twitches your lips and I've even caught you staring off a few times. I haven't seen you like this since before your boyfriend left you."

Shinji's body stiffened and he looked at the mirror behind the bar. "He wasn't my boyfriend. And I'm just thinkin'."

Yumi chuckled. "So what's his name?"

Frowning Shinji turned to look at Yumi as he sipped his water. "What?"

"His name. If it's not this non-boyfriend you didn't have who's come back into town, then who gave you this," He flicked his finger against the side of Shinji's neck and almost laughed when he shivered and tried to cover it. "And has gotten you so flustered today?"

"Shut up." Shinji said lamely. "And don't touch me like that. I'm yer boss ya know."

Yumi shrugged and stood, taking his water with him. "You won't fire me. I'm your number one, remember?"

Shinji glared at the man's back as he walked away and slowly let his hand drop from his neck

"He's right you know." A feminine voice said from behind the bar. "You really do look like you got laid last night, boss."

"No one asked you, Lisa." Shinji bit out before walking stiffly away.

He walked blindly back to his office, doing everything in his in power not to think about sex and Nnoitra and having sex with Nnoitra…. He walked into his office and shut the door, staring at the floor as he went over inventory in his head. He took one step in and lifted his head, stopping in the middle of his second step when he noticed he wasn't alone. His eyes widened and his mouth fell open as he stared at the man sitting at his desk with his feet propped up.

"I just got rid of ya!" He all but shouted and Nnoitra smiled.

"Che, yeah right."

"Get out of my office, asshole."

Nnoitra shook his head and sat up, dropping his feet to the floor before rising to his full height. Shinji pressed himself back into the door, feeling a keen sense of déjà vu as he did so.

"Ya sound like a fuckin' broken record." Nnoitra said, his voice a low rumble as he caged Shinji in against the door. "Bu'cha won't get away this time." He whispered.

"What are ya doin' here?" Shinji whispered back, titling his head up to look into Nnoitra's face.

Nnoitra continued to smile as he lowered his head and bit the top of Shinji's ear. "Looks like I came here to fuck ya 'gain."

Shinji pulled away but not without a shudder. "Fuck you. I toldja nothin' has changed. Ya don't just get to do that whenever ya want now."

"Yeah I do." He said simply, reaching down and locking the door with one hand and using the other to pull Shinji's closer by his hip.

"N-no."

Everything from the night before came rushing back to him as Nnoitra began to nudge the neck on his sweater down. Not the pain, not the yelling and the emotions, but the feeling, the sensation of it all. Even after all the other men he had been with nothing would compare to the way Nnoitra touched him. They way their skin felt against one another; the way his lips felt and his teeth and the ripple of lean muscle as he maneuvered Shinji just the right way. His breath shuddered out and his hands rose to fist in Nnoitra's shirt.

"Yer not drunk this time." Nnoitra continued to whisper as he scrapped his teeth along Shinji's neck.

"I… stop it…." Even to him his words sounded weak. _God, am I really this weak?_

"Mmm. Make me, Blondie."

Heat shot to Shinji's groin and he closed his eyes. "I hate you."

"Sure ya don't." Nnoitra chuckled as he lifted Shinji's sweater up a bit and ran a long finger along the waist of his slacks before dipping it inside.

Shinji shook his head and exhaled sharply when Nnoitra undid the button, slowly lowering the zipper. "I really, really….."

Nnoitra licked the side of his neck and bit back down on the top of his ear as he cupped Shinji's half hard cock. Shinji sucked in his breath and squeezed his already closed eyes tighter as Nnoitra began to message his testicles at the same time he bit and licked his way to Shinji's mouth.

"Oh f…." Was all Shinji managed before Nnoitra was kissing him, his long tongue gliding effortlessly into his mouth and accepted eagerly.

Nnoitra groaned and pressed Shinji into the door, grinding himself against his side and letting his long fingers roam under the sweater. Shinji's skin was already on fire and it was driving him insane.

"Fuckin' take yer pants off." He breathed, already panting. He hadn't been able to get Shinji off his mind all day, despite his best efforts. All he could think about was smooth pale skin and long blond hair. Sweat and tight heat and his name screamed from full lips.

"I can't." Shinji whispered in a breathy voice. He didn't want to give in, but after last night he felt his body quicken and tighten and heat just at the thought of this man touching him again.

Nnoitra growled and pulled his hand from Shinji's pants, swinging him around towards the desk before yanking them down himself. Shinji's breath caught in his throat and he wasn't allowed to recapture it. Nnoitra bent forward and pulled him into another deep kiss, enjoying the fact that he could even do so. He remembered a time when Shinji refused to kiss him at all. He reached for his own pants, nearly ripping the button off and tearing the zipper in his haste. A stack of papers and a cup holding pencil's crashed to the floor but neither one of them noticed. Nnoitra pulled Shinji's sweater up and attacked his nipples, sucking and biting greedily as he reached in his pocket for the one time use packet of lube. Shinji toed out of his shoes and slipped the rest of the way out of his pants, bending a leg and resting it on the edge of his desk. He fleetingly thought that this would be so much easier if they were lengthwise on the desk but everything came to a screeching halt when there was a knock on his office door.

"Hirako-san, are you okay in there? I thought I heard a crash."

This was his out, the easiest way for him to stop everything and get rid of the man above him. He looked up into the dark violet eye and saw the tongue hovering inches above his navel. His breath shuddered out and he shifted his weight before letting his eyes fall closed and his head fall back to the flat surface of the desk.

"No I'm fine. Just dropped somethin'." Even if his voice was shaky and near to gasping he hoped the person would just go away.

Nnoitra licked his lips and grinned. "Good boy."

He ripped open the small packet with his teeth and squirted a bit on his cock. He wouldn't need much after last night but he was courteous enough to put any at all. With how eager he was to be inside Shinji's heat again he could very well have done it dry.

"Are you sure?" The voice called out again just as Nnoitra dropped down and licked Shinji from his knee to the juncture of his leg.

He bit back a moan and nodded his head. "I'm fine get lost!"

Nnoitra smirked and stood up, grabbing his cock and pressing it slowly inside Shinji, groaning just a little too loudly before biting his lip. Shinji seemed not to really care about the noise level, either that or he was already so far gone that he wasn't able to hold anything back. He arched his back and spread his legs further, offering no resistance when Nnoitra grabbed his already bent leg and hitched it up over his elbow. He leaned down and snapped his hips forward, the desk creaking under their weight. Shinji reached behind him and gripped what he could, pressing his face into his bent arm and biting down on the fabric of his sweater to try and stop the noises that where coming from his mouth.

Nnoitra engaged him in another kiss, stealing his breath as he picked up his pace, the desk now protesting loudly with creaks and squeals. Shinji kicked out and sent more of the things on his desk flying and crashing to the floor and Nnoitra groaned, placing one hand on the desk by Shinji's head and shifting his weight until he heard the noise he was looking for. Shinji cried out and bucked his hips, the desk scooting along the floor slightly as they moved faster.

"Oh fuck…." Shinji whined, his teeth near to ripping a hole in his sweater.

Nnoitra was panting as he bit down on Shinji other ear, pulling and tugging harshly. "Waited… so fuckin' long…."

"Shut up."

"So fuckin' tight."

"Mmm. I fergot how big ya were."

Nnoitra let out a strangled chuckle and sucked on Shinji's ear. "Let me just remind ya then." He said before thrusting forward hard and Shinji barely held back his scream.

"Holy…."

Nnoitra stood up straight and grabbed Shinji's other leg, lifting and spreading so that he could go even deeper and move even faster. Shinji forgot how to speak after that, the only things coming out of his mouth were whines and mewls and moans. Nnoitra threw his head back when Shinji tightened even further around him and just as Shinji started to cum he leaned down and kissed his once more, riding out his own orgasm. They lay there panting for a moment before Nnoitra pulled out and stood on slightly shaky legs, pulling his pants closed and he licked his lips. Shinji looked so fucking hot laying on his desk like that; all spread out and his belly covered in cum. Shinji blinked a few times and did his best to sit up, slipping once and barely catching himself. He glared up at Nnoitra who gave him a grin for his efforts.

"We should do this again some time." He said with a grin, and Shinji rolled his eyes.

"This wasn't 'posed ta happen a second time." He muttered, letting one of his legs fall to the floor.

Nnoitra leaned forward and kissed his lips briefly; gently. "But it did." He said softly, making Shinji frown.

As soon as Nnoitra was redressed he reached for the door.

"What are ya doin'?"

Nnoitra turned back with a raised eyebrow. "Leavin' before ya try and kick my ass." He said as if it made all the sense in the world. "See ya Blondie."

With that he opened the door, not surprised that there seemed to be a blushing audience outside. He smirked and grinned, yanking his zipper up as he shut the door behind him.

"Might wanna leave yer boss alone fer a bit. He's kinda tired." He heard someone snort and shrugged. "'Er well fucked. Whichever."

Shinji heard everything and blushed brightly as he struggled to clean himself up as well as redress and fix his desk. He'd never be able to show his face at work again.

* * *

Unfortunately for Shinji he couldn't hide for long as he was still needed as far as work went. He tried his best not to look anyone in the eyes, ignored the quiet snickers and went about his business as quickly as he could. It was Yumi who first dared to broach the subject, walking right in his office and shutting the door behind him before taking a seat.

"So, did you enjoy yourself?" He asked with a knowing smile.

"Oh, shut up." Shinji snapped.

"You know, for just having had what sounded like great sex you sure are testy."

Shinji groaned and let his head fall to the freshly cleaned desk. "Shut up."

"So it was him from last night I take it." Yumi didn't bother waiting for an answer before continuing. "So are you seeing him again?"

"No!" Shinji's head popped up and he pushed out of his chair. "I can't! That would be the stupidest thing I ever did."

"Really? Why's that?"

"Are you kidding me? After what he did?"

Yumi shrugged. "So what. You two had a disagreement and he took off. Worse things have happened." His face grew slightly dark. "At least he didn't fuck a woman and then tell you he was going straight after ten years of being with you."

Shinji's anger died instantly and he bit his lip, looking away from the other man. He'd been present for that blow up between Ikkaku and Yumi. It had been just before the club officially closed and they had just shooed the last of the customers out. Yumi and Ikkaku had been fighting before that, everyone knew about it, but until that night no one had known why. All it took was for Ikkaku's phone to ring for Yumi to flip out and everyone stood in shocked horror as the couple screamed insults at each other before Ikkaku threw his hands up in the air and said, "I never wanted to be with a man in the first place!" before stomping away and never looking back. Yumi hadn't cried, at least not where anyone could see, but Shinji knew it was still hard on the man. It had barely been six months since that day.

"Yeah, I know." He said quietly.

"Far be I for me to be the voice of reason in anything, but you obviously care about him and he seems to care at least a little for you. Don't throw that away just because of what happened." He stood up and walked to the door. "At the very least give him a chance to explain himself."

* * *

Nnoitra nearly dropped the beam his was carrying on his foot and cursed Starrk for starting him out like he had. He hadn't figured the job would be easy by any means, but Starrk had basically thrown him into the thick of it and expected him to work like he had been doing this his whole life. He was fucking _tired_ already. A horn blew in the distance just as Nnoitra dropped the beam where it needed to be. About fucking time. He dropped his hard hat off at the makeshift locker room and grabbed his jacket before heading home. He wanted a shower, badly, but more than that he wanted to sleep. For a day or two.

It was starting to get dark already, the sun lighting the sky in the last bits of orange and pink as the world tried to hold on to color for just a bit longer. Nnoitra yawned and tried to decide what he was going to have for dinner that night. Last night had been McDonalds, but he really hated that shit. Then again, ramen from a box didn't sound all that good either. When he passed an all night pizza parlor his mouth watered a bit and he stepped inside, ordering as large a pizza as he could with as many things on it as they could manage. Vegetables, meat, sauce and five kinds of cheese. Nnoitra grinned. Now this was a dinner.

He took a shortcut home, winding his way through alleyways and finally coming to his street just about four blocks from his apartment. He hated to admit it but his guard was down. He hadn't even thought about the incident a week ago since he had slept with Shinji. So he was startled a bit when someone called out his name.

"Jiruga!"

He stopped, frowning, and turned towards the voice. A small group of men stood across the street, none of them friendly looking. Nnoitra's shoulders slumped at the thought of having to fight these guys again. It was a testament to just how tired he was tonight.

"The fuck you want now?"

"We told you a week. It's been a week. You are going to come with us now."

Nnoitra snorted. "Fuck you."

Indignant grumblings could be heard and the main speaker took two steps into the empty street. "You don't have much choice, Jiruga. Longwei will not wait any longer."

Nnoitra opened his mouth to retort when he noticed one of the men behind the speaker raise his arm. _Fuck._ The shot missed him by inches as he ducked out of the way.

"Ya almost made me drop my pizza asshole!" He shouted.

"The next shot shall not miss." The gunman shouted.

There was another shot, but this one came from somewhere else and the gunman scream, grabbing his hand and clutching it close to his body, a loud metallic clacking sound echoing in the street as his gun fell to the concrete. Nnoitra cocked his head to the side and looked left down the street to see a small group of people approaching.

"It seems my aim is rather off lately." He heard a familiar drawl.

"I'll say, you hit his hand." Another chimed in.

"Who the hell are you?" The man in the street called out and the small group approaching stopped.

"Hmm, let's call ourselves a welcome wagon. I think that sounds nice."

"Szayel-sama, I think you had better take this a little more seriously."

"The fuck you guys doin' here?" Nnoitra called out in confusion.

Shawlong, Szayel, Edrad, a large man with a half a head of flaming red hair, and another man Nnoitra knew only by face, looked his way briefly.

"Aizen sent us to make sure things got cleaned up after your royal fuck up in Hong Kong." Edrad smirked.

"Che, wasn't my fuck up ass wipe." Nnoitra shot back, irritated that these four were seemingly there to save the day.

"We are not leaving without Jiruga."

Szayel rolled his eyes and cocked his hip before pushing his glasses up his nose. "I suggest you take off while you still can. You see, Shawlong here used to be a sharpshooter in the Japanese army. He can shoot every single one of you in the head and make an awful mess of the street before you have the chance to take another breath."

Shawlong lifted the gun in his hand and pointed it at the man in the street with a blank expression on his face. The man flinched slightly and took a step backwards.

"You tell Longwei," Szayel continued. "To back off or he'll find he's made some awfully powerful enemies. Besides, this is all his fault anyway; taking what didn't belong to him in the first place."

The man glared at Szayel before putting his hand up and waving it slightly. The men retreated to a nearby car and loaded up, driving carefully away down the street.

"Che. Fuckin' cowards." Nnoitra said, shifting the pizza in his hands and glaring out at the group. "So what the fuck? Am I being followed 'er somethin'?"

"Aizen wanted to make sure this mess was cleaned up the right way. Any dead men from Longwei's side and things would get messy before they got better. He's had enough with that man, but he's not ready to off his men just yet. It makes the whole going legit thing shaky." Szayel explained.

"So… I'm bein' followed?" Nnoitra repeated.

Szayel rolled his eyes. "Yes, Nnoi, you're being followed."

"Watched is more like it." Shawlong said, trying to appease the tall man. It didn't work.

"I can take care 'a my own shit, thanks."

"Apparently not. You pissed off a small faction of the Triad with what happened over there. You're lucky it wasn't one of the larger branches or this could have gotten very ugly." Szayel pointed out.

"Fuck the Triad. Fuckin' stupid ass China-men…." Nnoitra grumbled.

Szayel sighed. "Be that as it may, you won't be fully left alone until further negotiations are dealt with. Aizen thinks it's best this way."

Nnoitra sneered. "So can I go eat my dinner now, oh great and powerful protector?"

Szayel smirked. "By all means. We'll keep the bad men away, Nnoi. Don't you worry."

"Fuck you!" Nnoitra shouted as the four began to walk away.

Fucking Szayel. Fucking Triad. Fucking Aizen and his going legit. This would never have been a problem if things were like they had been in the old days. Go in, shoot who needed to be shot, send in the cleaning crew and get the fuck out. Done and simple. But no, nothing was simple anymore. And for once he was too tired to argue much about it. He stomped the rest of the way home, up the stairs and slammed his door shut as hard as he dared. He didn't want the stupid thing to break after all. He hadn't bothered to put the bed away that morning and he threw himself on it, flipping open the box of food and digging in like he had been starving. His short term plan was to eat himself into a coma so that he had the strength to work tomorrow. He'd think about other things more later.

Pizza gone, he flipped the TV on and pulled his clothes off, settling under the covers to make himself warm. As his eyes began to droop his mind was already on better things. Long blond hair, soft skin, flexible legs and a tight ass. If only Shinji were there to help him into a better mood. His eyes closed and a small smile tilted his lips as he finally drifted off to dream of simpler times.

* * *

A/N I am so sorry it took so long to get this out. Before I knew it more than a week had passed and I was like "Whoa!" So anyway, YAY more smut :D Information on the Triad can be found on Wiki if you're interested. Basically the Chinese mafia. So, we got a bit about what happened in Chins, not much but enough to whet the pallet a bit. We got more NnoiShin time *hehe* Next up is one of my favorite chapters because many things happen. hopefully I can get it out soon. For those of you that don't already know, I started a new story called Twin Flames, an AU GrimmIchi birthday present for the lovely Storm. I highly suggest reading it because apparently it's pretty good, lol. Anywho, I think that's it for now. You like?

~Penny


	9. Prelude To Memories

Prelude To Memories

"I fucked him. Twice." Shinji said without preamble, even before he sat in the chair across from the blond man.

Kisuke's eyebrows shot up into his hairline and his eyes grew large. They had decided to meet at Kisuke's office this week because of the weather, the torrential rain putting a bit of a damper on their otherwise scenic therapy sessions.

"Well, it's been quite a week for you I take it then." Was all the older man said.

Shinji sighed as he threw himself down into the plush chair and looked out the window to his left. "I'm an idiot." He said quietly, almost as if to himself.

Kisuke nodded his head and sighed, not specifically agreeing with Shinji's self assessment, but more trying to take the weight and the tone of the spoken words in as he thought about them.

"So, start from the beginning." He said, pushing Shinji a bit.

Shinji didn't look away from the window as he spoke but the older man watched him intently nonetheless. The moment Nnoitra's name had left his lips his entire frame tightened, his arms crossing over his stomach as if it pained him and his brows coming together in a frown. However, the older blond noticed that his lips shook slightly as he spoke about him, his eyes were soft and filled with longing and his voice, the largest tell of all, was quiet but tinged with hope. When Shinji was finished with his story, even telling about his brief conversation with Yumi in his office, the room went quiet as each man collected his thoughts.

"I…," Shinji started and then sighed, leaning back into the chair he hadn't realized he was so stiff in. "I don't know whether I'm ashamed of myself for letting it happen, or if I want to…." He swallowed and shook his head, still looking away. "Forget everything." He whispered.

Kisuke cleared his throat and sat forward in his own chair. "Explain to me why you want to feel ashamed."

Shinji snorted. "All these years of hate and pain and anger directed at him and after a couple weak moments on my part I'm about to forget all that? What's not to be ashamed about?"

"Do you want to forgive him just because the sex was good?"

"No!" Shinji said quickly, turning and for the first time meeting Kisuke's eyes. "I mean… I don't know. He's told me he missed me. That he thought about me all the time. He's been callin' me every night since the time at my office. He even called me last night and asked me to come over and hang out." A smirk tilted his lips. "Well, actually he said, 'Yo Blondie. C'm over fer a bit tanight. Don't gotta get naked this time if ya don't wanna.' That's Nnoi-speak for no sex." He clarified, his smirk shifting into a smile as he looked down at the carpeted floor.

"Have you two spoken of the past at all?"

He shook his head. "Not at all really." He shifted in his seat and brought his legs up to sit Indian Style. "I mean, the last two times we saw each other we were kinda preoccupied ya know. And when he calls me I don't let him talk long." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I don't know what to do or what to feel. I wanna hit him and hug him and kiss him and break one or more of his bones and scream how much he hurt me and whisper how much I missed him and want…." His eyes widened and he shook his head.

"Say it."

Shinji frowned and opened his eyes, focusing on a picture across the room. When he spoke his voice was so quiet Kisuke would have had to lean forward had he not been anticipating what he said. "How much I want him back."

The words echoed in his mind as if he had screamed them from the top of a mountain, repeating until finally slowly fading away. Those words scared him more than anything else he had said and brought about more emotions than he wanted to deal with.

"Did you go over last night?" He asked curiously.

Shinji shook his head. "I told him ta stop callin' me at work and fuck off."

Kisuke smiled. "Well that wasn't very nice of you."

His lips twitched at that and he sighed again. "Yer gonna tell me ta talk to 'im ain't ya?"

Kisuke nodded. "You learn so quickly."

He sat up and rested his elbows on his knees for a moment before standing. "Not sure I'm ready for talkin' yet." He said quietly.

Kisuke pursed his lips a moment before grinning. "No time like the present to get unpleasant business out of the way so that life can continue to flow onwards unhindered."

Shinji only shook his head and walked to the door, opening it and closing it behind him softly. He needed to think about things first. _Really_ think.

* * *

He realized he had thought this before, many, many times before, but this job was killing him. It was only Wednesday and he was ready for the week to be over with so that he could just sit back and do nothing but sleep and pretend to watch television. He didn't hate the job, really, but for being such a lazy man Starrk was quite good at driving his men to exhaustion. When the whistle blew signaling the end of the day Nnoitra was tempted to shout out his glee, had he been a little less sore and tired. It still amazed him how out of shape he had gotten over the last two years. Before he had left jobs like this had been a piece of cake for him but now…. He quieted the little voice in his head that reminded him he wasn't twenty two anymore and headed to the bathhouse for a much needed wash. Living in the little shit hole he called home gave him money during the month that was most definitely needed. What with showering nearly every day and doing laundry twice a week it was nice to have the extra cash. As soon as he saved up enough though he was going to be looking for something a bit better. A place with it's own bathroom at least.

The scrub down felt amazing, the soak afterwards had turned his muscles to mush and with a fresh baked pizza with everything on it he was trotting almost happily home. He was going to eat himself into a coma and do it all over again tomorrow. Even the thought that at that very moment he was being looked in on didn't seem to bother him. Food, TV and sleep were about the only things on his mind at the moment. Oh yes, and Shinji of course. He hadn't really stopped thinking about the blond since he they had met and after finally getting the frigid bitch to open up a bit so that he could fuck him that had only intensified his thoughts. He'd stupidly enough caught himself daydreaming at lunch that day, the sight of something the same color as Shinji's long hair turning into sweet pictures of Shinji naked with his hair spread out around him like a fan. He had just been glad that no one could hear or see his thoughts because it had thoroughly embarrassed him and immediately set him in a bad mood.

Once his door was shut, the locks slid into place and the TV turned on, he pulled out the bed and tossed the box of pizza on it, not bothering to dirty a plate; he only had one of those anyway. He pulled his phone out of his back pocket and began his nightly ritual of annoying Shinji. He pressed and held the "one" button and waited for the ringing to begin; waited for that irritated voice to come over the line. Shinji seemed to know every time it was him and it almost made Nnoitra laugh.

"What now?" Shinji asked in his predictably irritable voice.

"Can't just call to say hi?"

"No, I said stop buggin' me at work, didn't I?"

Nnoitra chuckled. "Whatcha doin' Saturday?"

The line was quiet for a moment and Nnoitra wasn't sure if he had actually been hung up on or not until Shinji sighed.

"I'm busy."

"Doin' what?"

"Not that it's any of yer business but I'm goin' over ta okaachan's for a while."

Nnoitra nodded his head, a slow grin forming on his lips. "Yeah? So ditch out and come over."

"I'm not doin' that, 'specially fer _you_. And quit callin' me." Shinji snapped.

"Whatever. I'll see ya Saturday." He said before hanging up first. He had something he wanted to do that day and while he hoped it would lead to other things, it really wasn't necessary. But no matter what, he had to see Shinji that day.

He dropped his phone to the bed and had just pulled off his shirt, getting ready to unbutton his pants, when there was a knock at his door. He frowned at it but ultimately sighed and took the steps needed to answer it. Had he not been as tired as he was he would have thought to grab the rod he kept to deter late night visitors but the locks were already thrown before it crossed his mind. The door was barely open before a fist to his face caused him to fall backwards and hit his head on the edge of the pull out bed.

"You fucking bastard!"

Nnoitra grabbed the back on his head and glared up at the man who walked into his apartment and slammed the door behind him.

"The fuck?" He muttered when he noticed who it was.

"You stay the hell away from him! I won't stand by and let you fuck him all up again, you hear me?"

"The hell you talkin' about? That ain't any 'a yer business, Kitty Bitch." He retorted, pushing himself off the floor to glare menacingly down at the younger man.

"The fuck it isn't." Ichigo said, not intimidated in the least and actually puffing out his chest a little as he continued. "He was doing good, getting better and I won't have you fuck that all up. You have no idea what you leaving did to him. How fucked up he was after you left. What he did to himself after that. I'm not going to watch my best friend do that to himself again." He rambled before stopping long enough to take a deep breath and give Nnoitra the most menacing look the older man had ever seen on him. "You stay away from him or so help me I'll make you wish you never met me."

With that he tore the door open and left, Nnoitra blinking after him as the weight of his words seemed to sink in.

"Tch." He snorted before shutting the door and relocking it, rubbing his now sore jaw. He still didn't hit as hard as Shinji did.

With a quick shake of his head he finished taking off his pants, not letting Ichigo's words get to him, crawled up in the bed and grabbed the remote in one and hand a slice of pizza with the other. He was too tired to think about what he had said anyway. But he'd be sure to remind Grimmjow to keep a tighter leash on his bitch.

* * *

Ichigo did his best not to speed home but it was rather hard to do with how angry he was. He couldn't believe that less than an hour ago he had been happy, excited even. He had stopped by _Solid Gold_ to tell Shinji the good news and ended up sitting for a moment and talking with Yumi while Shinji finished up speaking with a client. He and the older man weren't exactly friends but they could be friendly to each other. It was an offhand comment that had caught his attention and began to shift his mood.

"I wonder if we'll get another show any time soon." A girl with long dark hair and glasses had said from behind the bar and Yumi had chuckled softly.

"Oh, come on. Shinji's being rather cautious nowadays because of the last time."

Ichigo had frowned. "What are you two talking about?"

Lisa, the girl behind the counter, perked up a bit at the idea of spreading gossip about her boss but stopped at the look on Yumi's face. She sighed dramatically and stepped away from the two men to assist a customer. Yumi swiveled in his seat, checking slyly around to make sure no one was listening to them. He loved to gossip and happily did so at every opportunity, but this was a different situation.

"It seems that Saturday was a rather eventful afternoon for Shinji. He had a… rambunctious visitor and ended up 'christening' his office with him."

Ichigo had blinked stupidly at the man for a moment as he tried to figure out what he was talking about. He'd never understand why people couldn't just say what they were thinking outright instead of running circles around the point.

"What?"

Yumi had sighed and rolled his eyes, managing to make the move look graceful. "Shinji's ex came to his office and they fucked on his desk. Loudly I might add."

He of course didn't believe what was told to him. He was sure that Yumi had some how gotten things wrong. Perhaps Shinji had just… no it had to be someone else. Shinji wasn't stupid enough to sleep with Nnoitra again. Not after everything that had happened. He was still reeling from the news when Shinji bounced happily up to him and led him back to his office. Ichigo's eyes went immediately to the desk, not really knowing what he was looking for but hoping to see something that would discount what he had been told.

"So, ya said ya had good news." Shinji said expectantly as he sat on the edge of his desk.

Ichigo nodded. "Yeah. As of next week I'll be part of the new surgical staff at the hospital." He said in a distracted tone.

Shinji's face lit up. "Oh my God! That's great, Ichi!" He hugged Ichigo tight but pulled away when Ichigo hadn't bothered to move.

"Ichi?"

"Shin, did… has Nnoitra been bugging you?"

He hadn't known what to expect but it wasn't the blush that crept up into Shinji's cheeks, nor the fact that he looked away when he spoke.

"Don't worry about it Ichi. It's nothin' I can't handle."

"Shinji." Ichigo had used his warning tone but had been cut off when honey eyes shot up and blazed into his own.

"Ichigo, I'm a big boy. I can take care of my own shit, alright? If I say don't worry about it I mean don't worry about it, okay?"

They hadn't said much after that and Ichigo had left with no definite plan on what to do next. He wasn't even sure how he knew where to find Nnoitra or what he would do when he got there but for some reason he was suddenly standing at his door, rage filling his every pore. The moment he saw the man his mind had gone blank and he had acted.

Now in the car he was practically shaking with the need to go back and finish the job. He took a deep breath to steady his nerves and drove straight home. Seeing Grimmjow and the kids would hopefully help calm him down.

* * *

"Happy birthday Shin-chan!"

Shinji blinked up at his mother's face and frowned before looking over at his clock. It was three-forty-eight in the morning, the exact time of his birth and his mother never failed to remind him of that.

"Thanks, okaachan. Can I go back to sleep now?"

"'Course not!" Etta said, jumping on the bed beside her son and kissing his cheek. "The celebration starts now, ya know that!"

Shinji groaned and tried to roll away from her. He was too tired to celebrate his birthday at the moment. He'd just crawled into bed at midnight for fuck's sake.

"Okaachan, pleeeease." He whined. "Let me get some sleep. 'M tired."

Etta kissed Shinji's cheek and smoothed his hair back from his forehead. "If I let ya sleep fer a bit ya gotta help me decorate fer the party."

"Fine. Whatever. Sleep." He said in a grouchy tone that caused his mother to laugh quietly at him.

He didn't hear her leave, was already back to sleep by then, but it seemed mere minutes before his phone was ringing. It may have been the lack of sleep helping his sour mood but he was going to blame everything on Nnoitra. He had last called Shinji on Wednesday and Shinji, having already gotten used to him calling every night had struggled with his apparent disappointment at receiving no further calls after that. Which would have been irritating enough as it was but to have Nnoitra forget that Saturday was his birthday made his mood even fouler. And that was really all his wanting to hang out on Saturday meant to Shinji, why the man didn't get that he would be at his mother's that day. He had forgotten Shinji's birthday but still wanted to fool around.

Shinji grumbled out a few curses and reached for his phone before grunting in reply.

"Shinji?" At another grunt from the blond man, Ichigo chuckled. "Happy birthday grump."

"Shinji's not here right now. Call back next year." He muttered as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

Ichigo chuckled again and sighed. "I'm surprised okaachan hasn't forced you out of bed yet. It's almost ten."

"I told her I'd help decorate for my own party if she left me alone for a while." He yawned and sat up out of bed. If it was already ten in the morning he wouldn't be left alone very much longer anyway.

"What time do you want us over there?" Depending on Shinji's answer they might have to start packing up soon, a task that usually took up to and mostly over an hour to accomplish.

"Okaachan wants everyone there by noon I think. I'm half surprised she hasn't ordered a clown and shit." He yawned again and stood to stretch.

"Don't count that out. You remember when you turned fifteen and she insisted we all play pin the tail on the unicorn?"

"Oh God. Don't remind me of stupid shit." Shinji groaned and laughed at the same time.

"Alright then, we'll see ya around noon."

Luckily for Shinji his mother hadn't gone completely overboard, though the balloons and streamers did seem a bit much for a twenty fifth birthday party; or _gathering_ as she insisted on calling it. If it was a gathering Shinji didn't understand why they needed to dress up the backyard, especially with the threatening clouds overhead.

"Okaachan, it's gonna rain ya know."

"No it ain't." Etta cheerfully smiled as she placed a tray on finger foods on a table set up just inside the door to the backyard.

"'Kay, but when everythin' gets ruined don't cry."

Etta stood up on her tip toes and kissed Shinji's cheek. "Quit bein' a grump. It's yer birthday!"

"Yay." Shinji said rather unenthusiastically, raising his arms to do a small, weak happy dance. He was pissed off for three reasons today, four if you counted the fact that the reasons themselves pissed him off. Nnoitra hadn't called two nights in a row, had apparently forgotten his birthday and he felt like he had gotten zero sleep because of it. And it_ pissed_ him off.

Etta smacked Shinji in the back of the head and skipped away from him. "Cheer up or ya ain't gettin' yer present!" She called back to him in a sing song voice from the house.

"What? Now way!" He cried out indignantly as he followed her back inside. Okaachan's presents were always the best.

* * *

They were running late. The kids were screaming in the car, Grimmjow was working through the noise on a report that hadn't gotten done the day before, and Ichigo already had a headache. As soon as he was able the five of them were going on vacation with a tag along babysitter… or three. He was ticking off names of potential victims when he knocked once on the door to his childhood home, opening it before his knuckles even met wood. He had to pick up Karin for the party, Yuzu was getting a ride from a study partner and would meet them there. He didn't mind going out of the way to do this but he still wanted to hurry up a bit.

"Karin!" He called out once he was in the kitchen and sighed when he heard no response.

He sighed and headed up the stairs to his old bedroom which Karin had taken over five minutes after he had moved out. He was about to tap on the door when he heard voices and instantly gave in to the urge to listen in.

"I think it would be disrespectful, that's why." A low voice said quietly and Ichigo frowned when in the same instant he realized it was a guy and he was in Karin's room… and the door was shut.

"Quit being such a prude." Was Karin's quick reply.

There was a sigh and Ichigo scowled. "Karin, perhaps I should go…."

"God, you idiot!" Karin cried out and there was a thud followed by and "oof", before the unmistakable sounds of kissing could be heard. Ichigo's eyes widened and before he could stop himself he flung to door wide open.

The young man was on top of his sister, body pressed too close for someone who had apparently just been ready to leave. Wide turquoise eyes met his with a genuinely shocked expression, but Ichigo wasn't looking there. No, his eyes were focused on the hand cupping his sister's breast, her own hand covering it as if to hold it in place.

"What the hell, can't you knock first?" Karin bit out, pushing the young man back as she sat up.

"You… what the hell are you doing in here? With him?"

Karin rolled her eyes and adjusted her shirt, tossing the young man still kneeling stiffly on the bed a look. "Well, I _was_ going to make out with my boyfriend but you screwed that up."

"B-boyfriend?" His voice had cracked ever so slightly on the word but if anyone noticed nothing was said.

"Yes, Ichi-nii. Boyfriend. I am twenty years old now you know."

Suddenly the young man was bowing before him and it was all Ichigo could do not to hit him as hard as he could over the head.

"Please forgive me, sir. It was not my intension to be in this kind of situation with your sister."

"Shiro, stop it."

"Have you told dad about this?" Ichigo asked, still trying to resist those evil urges.

"Yeah, I did. And he freaked out just like you're doing. Why can't any of the men in this house be normal and say, 'Hello, nice to meet you.'?"

When the young man righted himself again Ichigo was struck rather violently by the realization that he knew this kid.

"You… you lived next door to me. You're the blonde lady's kid, T-T…."

"Toushiro Hitsugaya." He nodded and frowned down at Toushiro.

"The hell is taking… so…." Grimmjow said, stopping in the doorway and letting his sentence trail off as he took in the situation.

"Yo, Grimm." Karin said, tipping her head in a typical male greeting.

Grimmjow took a few more seconds to look at everyone in the room before a grin stretched his lips and he threw his head back to bark laughter at the ceiling.

"Fuckin' _rich _man." He crowed.

"This isn't funny!" Ichigo called out after Grimmjow as he turned and headed back downstairs.

"Just hurry up and get in the car. We're already late." He thought it was great Karin was seeing someone; about time actually.

"You wouldn't feel this way if it were Tomo."

Grimmjow froze in his steps and looked back over his shoulder in time to see Karin kick out her brother's knee. Ichigo was right though, just the thought of Tomoe with some guy…. He bit back the urge to kill and sent a glare at the young man that clearly displayed his dislike. Toushiro gulped once but otherwise made no display of emotion.

"Get your shoes, Shiro. And grab the bag from the kitchen table." Karin called out as soon as they were at the bottom of the steps. At her brother's strange looks she smiled sweetly. "Shinji said I could bring a date if I wanted to."

Grimmjow and Ichigo both sent glares at Toushiro as he followed Karin out the door, eyeing the hand the drifted close to the small of her back. This was going to be a very long car ride.

* * *

All in all it had been a great party. Kids screaming, Karin and Grimmjow doing their best to kick the other's ass on Shinji's vintage _Street Fighter_ on his like-new SNES, watching Ichigo dance awkwardly with a four year old girl demanding his every speck of attention. Even catching his mother sneaking a kiss from Ichigo's dad hadn't been that bad. Okay, it had been bad, but he had just pretended that it never happened anyway. He had gotten some really great presents, eaten really good home cooked food, and spent time with people he cared about. He couldn't have asked for much better.

Grimmjow was out at the car, putting the kid's things inside it so that they could go home when he was greeted by a voice he hadn't expected to hear that day.

"Yo." Nnoitra said as he walked up to him, his hands deep in his pockets and a grin on his face.

"The fuck you doin' here? Blondie know yer comin'?"

Nnoitra shook his head. "Nah, thought I'd pop in and snag some free food."

Grimmjow chuckled and went back to putting things in the car, wondering how they had come there in the first place with so much stuff. Nnoitra walked slowly up to the front door, rapping against it harshly. He had originally planned to try and meet up with Shinji at his house after this party but it was getting late and Nnoitra had grown impatient. And there was a very real possibility that Shinji would stay over at his mother's that night. When the door opened and wide blue eyes stared up at him for a moment before turning slightly somber he rolled his eye.

"He here?" He gruffed out, causing the small woman to grin at him and nod her head.

"In tha back." She knew these two needed some time to hash things out and she would be happy to referee that scene for them.

Nnoitra scowled at her and pushed his way inside, his stride carrying him to the backyard. He saw him instantly, reaching up to pull a string connected to a neon pink balloon. Shinji popped it with a chopstick and grinned, causing a sympathetic reaction in Nnoitra. He stepped out into the backyard, the setting sun casting shadows every which way, and waited a second to be noticed. Shinji's mouth predictably fell open and his eyes grew wide, snapping back behind Nnoitra as he voiced his displeasure at his mother.

"Why'd ya let him in?"

"'Cause ya two need ta talk." Etta said simply before closing the back door almost all the way and seemingly walking away from the door. Of course she didn't leave completely, staying just out of sight and hoping that she hadn't shut the door far enough so she couldn't hear what was being said.

Shinji sneered, crossing his arms over his chest defensively and sticking his nose in the air. "I toldja I was busy today."

"What, you afraid to let everyone know ya like me again?" Nnoitra taunted.

"I do not! And we have nothin' to talk about so go the hell away. Sorry ya wasted yer time." Shinji turned his back and pretended to busy himself with the plant behind him.

"What's goin' on?" Grimmjow whispered from behind Etta and she jumped, covering her mouth with her small hand.

"Jus' talkin' so far." She whispered and the both of them began to watch.

"I ain't leavin' till I give ya yer present, bitch."

Shinji paused and frowned over his shoulder. "Present? What for?" He asked with a pout to see what the other man would say.

"Yer fuckin' birthday, idiot." Nnoitra cocked a hip and let his eyes rake over Shinji.

Off in the distance the low rumble of thunder could be heard and Shinji's frown faltered just a little.

"So ya did remember it." He said quietly, turning his body to once again face Nnoitra.

"'Course I did. Why would I ferget it?" He asked, looking every bit confused at the thought.

"Well ya were gone fer two years. I thought…."

Nnoitra was suddenly in front of him, leaning over and grinning down at him. "Yer actin' like a fuckin' bitch. You gonna cry too." He teased cruelly and Shinji's softening look hardened.

"I ain't ever cried over _you_."

Nnoitra laughed softly and sneered. "Such a fuckin' liar."

"Oh yeah? Well then I guess yer not the only one." Shinji snapped and Nnoitra leaned back a bit, his eye narrowing.

"What?" He asked, his voice suddenly dangerously quiet.

His mouth moved without thought. "What was that last night together to you? Just a good fuck before ya took off? Was anythin' you said or did that night not a lie?"

"You fuckin'…." Nnoitra shook his head and licked his lips before curling his upper lip and speaking again. "Ya know what? Fine. Ya wanna know why I was so eager ta leave, is that it?"

"Yeah actually." Shinji said, raising his voice a little, his body unconsciously leaning forward in anticipation.

Nnoitra leaned forward again and grit out between clenched teeth, "Do you have any fuckin' idea how fuckin' _humiliated_ I was."

Shinji blinked at him stupidly for a moment before a not so amused grin stretched his lips.

"The fuck'd you have ta be humiliated for?"

Thin, steel like fingers gripped the front of his shirt and lifted him, forcing him back into the high fence, his toes barely skimming the ground. Shinji's hands shot up to pull at the vise-like grip on his shirt, but it was of course in vain. Nnoitra leaned down close to him, his warm breath wafting over Shinji's cheek and a dark gleam in his eye. Shinji shrank a little at the anger radiating off Nnoitra.

"I have _never_ said that to anyone in my _life_. And you fuckin' walked away from me."

He dropped Shinji then and took a step back, watching with a sense of detachment the way Shinji's face went slack and his eyes grew almost abnormally large. Nnoitra reached inside his pocket and pulled out a small package, tossing it at Shinji's feet.

"Happy fuckin' birthday, Blondie."

Shinji stared ahead of him for a long time, his legs and arms going numb as a single thought spun around in his head over and over again. So it had been his fault that Nnoitra had left after all. His chest clenched tightly and he placed his hand over the sore spot, rubbing at it. That sudden realization hit him harder than the thought of it all having been a lie. And it was all his fault. He let out a shuddering breath to hide a choking sob and looked down at the tiny package on the ground at his feet. His eyes fell closed and he let out another shaky breath.

"Shit."

* * *

A/N So I've been DEATHLY ill... well not deathly maybe, but still. Super, uber sicky sick. So I apologize that it has taken me so long to get this chapter out. I realize a lot happened in this chapter, and don't worry we ALL get to find out what exactly went done between Nnoitra and Shinji two years ago in the next chapter. I might even be able to dedicate the entire chapter to the "flashback" :D But yeah, I hope this one was worth the wait and I'll try really hard to get the next one out ASAP!

**TWO POINTS OF INTEREST!**

Firstly, there is a REALLY fantastic new GrimmIchi out there that some of you may have already seen called Chrysalis by dishrag-chan here on FFN. Now, I don't usually wax poetic about other people's work, especially here in MY author note, but this story is FUCKING FANTASTIC! It's well worth the read and the build up, the background and character building chapters are amazing and they don't take away from the story in the least like some do. The plot is well thought out and the writing style, while a bit unique, is easy to understand and flows like silk. EVERYONE should go check it out and review her and tell her what you think. She has two chapters out already, but being her beta (which I am) I have the perks of knowing that it just keeps getting better. Anyway, you can find her in my favorite authors section on my profile page, so please, please go check her out. :D

Secondly, I started to read aloud my stories. It all started with my best friend wanting to read my work, but she's a horrible reader and takes days to read one chapter so I usually ended up reading them to her out loud anyway. But since she works nine months out of the year out of town it makes that a little harder. So I got the idea from someone over at y!gallery to record the stories in my own voice and share them with her that way. Then I got to thinking, "Well this seems a bit of a waste to only share with one person." So, basically all of my works will, hopefully by the end of the summer, be available on audio. I've got two chapters of Dirty Me done already and out for the public. Two things though, I am reading smut and so I try and keep things, "Real". So yes, I moan and pant certain spoken phrases and it can get a little intense. If you can't handle something like that, by all means, don't listen. Second, it will only be available to people over eighteen. Since I'm vocalizing the graphic sex, among other things, I think that would be a bit more appropriate.

So, I yer interested in getting a hold of a recording all you have to do is sign up for a free account and y!gallery and message me, either here or there (same name both places) and I'll direct you to where you need to be. If not, well then disregard like everything I just said, ;p

Anyway Duckie's! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I look forward to hearing what you all think!

~Penny


	10. Memories

Memories

_February, Two Years Ago_

Shinji shivered and cranked his heater up a bit more, silently hoping the thing wouldn't blow up and kill everyone in the building. The duct work creaked and groaned and he frowned before shaking his head and ignoring it. At least he'd die warm, he thought to himself as he made his way back to the kitchen to stir his noodles. It had taken some time but he had finally gotten good enough not to turn his ramen into a thick sticky mess, though that really wasn't something to be all that proud of, as Nnoitra had pointed out to him on many occasions. Being twenty three and just learning how to fix proper prepackaged ramen was actually kind of sad according to that man. A small smile twitched his lips when he thought about him.

He had never expected things to turn out like this, or even close to this, but there he was. Nnoitra still kept some of his things in Grimmjow's spare bedroom but he always came back to Shinji's apartment. Maybe not every night, and he still liked to disappear from time to time, but mostly he was there, flipping channels on the television, playing the Xbox Shinji had gotten from his mother for Christmas or bugging Shinji until he got what he wanted. Mostly the fighting now was for show, Shinji's inability to give up on his attitude and Nnoitra loving the fact that even though Shinji still fought him, he would _always_ give in now. Eventually. After over two years of hard work and more patience than he knew he had, he finally had Shinji completely his. And Shinji, for his part, couldn't be happier.

The front door opened and Nnoitra walked through, covered head to toe in dirt and sweat. Shinji didn't bother looking at him and instead focused on not burning his dinner. A long arm curled around his upper chest and pulled him back into Nnoitra's dirt covered one.

"Let go! You'll get dirt in my food, baka." Shinji complained.

Nnoitra chuckled and bit the top of his ear. "I'll just eatcha tanight anyway so don't worry 'bout food fer _you_."

Shinji snorted and stirred his noodles. "Ya smell."

Nnoitra nuzzled his neck and bit at the underside of Shinji's jaw. "Ya love it."

He took a deep breath, Nnoitra's pungent smell filling him and Shinji realized not for the first time that he actually did like that smell. Not too often, and not in large quantities, but he liked it nonetheless. It was Nnoitra through and through. Dirt, sweat, cigarettes and something… almost sweet hiding underneath it all. Nnoitra nibbled his way to Shinji's chin before licking it and sucking Shinji's bottom lip into his mouth. He didn't give Shinji time to enjoy it, however, and instead pulled back enough to lick the side of Shinji's face from jaw line to eyebrow before rubbing his dirty cheek against his.

"Wha… Ew! That's fuckin' gross asshole!" Shinji cried out, pushing Nnoitra off him to wipe furiously at his face.

Nnoitra laughed loudly and pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his back pocket. "Thought ya liked it when I licked ya." He taunted with a wide grin.

"Not like that." Shinji grumbled back, only managing to smear dirt over his face in his attempt to clean himself. He snatched the cigarettes out of Nnoitra's hand and pointed in the direction of the bathroom. "Go get clean." He demanded.

"Such a bossy little bitch." Nnoitra mumbled, grin still on his face, as he walked to the bathroom. "Right, when I get clean I want somethin' ta eat."

"Fix it yerself!" Shinji called out after him but pulled down a bowl for Nnoitra nonetheless.

Nnoitra just laughed and slammed the bathroom door. He didn't take long in the shower, he never did and yet was still fresh and clean, and soon was back out in the living area, rubbing one towel furiously through his long black hair with another wrapped loosely at his waist. Shinji sent him a curious look over his shoulder and frowned.

"Take that damn patch off."

Nnoitra rolled his uncovered eye and shook his head. It had been about three months prior that Shinji had confessed that he actually liked the way Nnoitra looked "unmasked". The younger man had crawled right up into his lap and reached behind his head, untying the knot of the bandana that covered his injured eye.

"I wanna see all of you" Shinji had whispered as he revealed the half-scarred face.

Nnoitra had tried to turn away but Shinji had grabbed his face roughly before leaning forward and placing a single kiss against his cheek along the endpoint of the longest scar. Nnoitra had shivered and closed his eyes. He didn't like that, didn't like anyone touching him there and he wanted to throw Shinji off him but he couldn't get his arms to move.

"Did I ever tell ya scars and tattoos get me hot?" Shinji breathed over Nnoitra's cheek. "'Specially on the face."

When the tip of Shinji's tongue had flicked out and touched his scars he hadn't been sure if he wanted to laugh, throw the younger man off him, or sit back and let him do whatever he wanted. He couldn't believe that his scars were still so sensitive. After that time Shinji tried to at least get Nnoitra to stop wearing his bandana over his eye when they were together but Nnoitra still rarely conceded. Old habits died hard.

"Not tanight." He sat heavily on the couch, the long day of work finally catching up to him.

Shinji was suddenly next to him, placing two bowls of food on the small coffee table. "Please? Ya know I hate that thing."

"Take it off yerself then."

Shinji sighed and tossed his hair over his shoulder. "Fine." He said before straddling Nnoitra's thighs and pushing his upper body back into the couch with a hand placed in the middle of his chest. He reached up then with his free hand and slid a single finger under the flap of fabric, slowly sliding it up and over Nnoitra's head before tossing it carelessly to the floor. The eye itself was slightly dull and lifeless looking, though Nnoitra had said that he could still see some things, mostly silhouettes and shadows. The scars were deep and tore through Nnoitra's eyebrow, down over his eyelid and stopped at an angle on his cheekbone. Shinji bent forward and kissed the longest of the scars before sitting back and grinning widely.

"Happy now?" Nnoitra grumbled and let his hair fall in his face.

"I will be when ya brush yer hair and keep it outta yer face." Shinji stood and thrust a bowl of noodles into Nnoitra's hands. "Eat."

"What's on tonight?" Nnoitra asked, sitting comfortably back on the couch as he began to flip through channels.

"My show's on."

"No way. I ain't watchin' yer girly…."

"Not that one! I toldja, 'cause ya paid extra fer the DVR I record that one and watch it when ya ain't home." Shinji slurped his noodles before continuing. "Tonight is reruns of _Gaki no Tsukai_."

Nnoitra grinned at the mention of the hilarious game show. "Alright then."

He hadn't realized just how comfortable and strange things had gotten between Shinji and him until about six months ago when Grimmjow had pointed it out to him. The four of them, Nnoitra, Grimmjow, Ichigo and Shinji, had decided to take a trip to the beach to spend the day relaxing. Nnoitra hadn't really been thinking about anything deep at the time so the fact that he had spent a good three hours walking up and down the beach just talking with Shinji and eventually tossing him in the water before making out on the sand as the waves washed over them didn't seem like a big deal. Ichigo had insisted on driving his own car and at the end of the day Shinji had opted to go spend a little time with him for the drive back, Nnoitra riding with Grimmjow.

About ten minutes into the drive Grimmjow spoke up. "So yer gettin' pretty close to Blondie there."

"Tch. So?"

Grimmjow shrugged and cracked his neck. "Still tryin' to figure out how serious you are about this one."

"God damn that Kitty Bitch turned ya into a fuckin' chick. What, we gonna start having deep conversations over tea and… what's that shit they eat with tea in England?"

"Crumpets?"

"Ha! Yeah. What a stupid word."

"Yer dodgin'."

Nnoitra sighed. "I don't get what the big deal is. Blondie and me're just havin' fun."

"I know love when I see it, Nnoi." Grimmjow said, eyes staring forward on the road but voice low and serious.

"Fuck you. What, just 'cause we like fuckin' around that means we're in…? Nah, fuck that. Ya _really_ need to get yer head checked and make sure ya still got a dick, talkin' all this romantic shit…." He trailed off, looking uncomfortably out the window.

"I mean, I kinda thought there for a moment," Grimmjow continued, louder now, as if Nnoitra hadn't spoken. "That you and Szayel might be actually feeling feelings for each other but yer totally different with Shinji. It's… well it's fuckin' weird." He chuckled.

"If you keep talkin' about feelin's I'mma force the car off the road, toss ya out and tell yer Bitch ya took off." Nnoitra grumbled and ignored him for the rest of the trip.

But the conversation hadn't left his mind. Each night with Shinji he thought about it, about how much their relationship had changed over their time together, how much he looked forward to seeing the blond every day. How much actual time they spent together _not _having sex. It wasn't that they didn't do it anymore, by any means, it was just not top priority anymore. When he realized this something squeezed his chest tight as if willing him not to think any more. The harder he tried not to think about it the worse the pain got. Slowly, the pain faded to warmth until he got used to it completely. By that time he could only admit to one thing, and this only to himself. Yes, he was getting rather serious about Shinji.

And it scared the hell out of him.

But tonight he was content. Nnoitra was usually an in-the-moment kind of guy anyway. After they finished their meal Shinji brushed Nnoitra's hair before pushing him onto the floor in front of the couch, slinging his legs over Nnoitra's shoulders as he sat perched on the couch behind him and proceeded to massage every inch of his scalp and neck. To Nnoitra this was the closest thing to fucking one could get without actually doing anything. Shinji pressed in all the right spots, stayed just as long as he needed to before moving to another hard bit of muscle. It wasn't long before the coffee table was pushed out of the way and the futon was pulled out for Nnoitra to lay on as Shinji attacked his back. The first time this had happened the massage hadn't lasted very long before Nnoitra was pinning _Shinji _to the futon to engage in another sort of activity. And that behavior continued to that day; the massages never lasting longer than it took for one or the other to get turned on enough to switch up the tempo.

"Damn, yer all tight in here." Shinji said through his teeth as he dug his thumbs into a knot underneath Nnoitra's shoulder blade.

Instead of answering Nnoitra groaned and felt himself melt further into the futon. Blondie had great hands and he definitely knew how to use them. As he worked his way down the muscles of Nnoitra's back he watched the chaos on the television, his hands pausing briefly so he could laugh before returning to their task. When thin thumbs pressed harshly into the under side of Nnoitra backside he gave a grunt and looked behind him.

"I toldja to warm me before ya do that part."

Shinji smirked an cocked an eyebrow at him. "Well I worked slowly down to it so I thought ya'd take the hint. Sorry." He added, not sounding sorry in the least.

He placed a hand on the back on Nnoitra's head and pushed him back to the futon with a grin. Nnoitra didn't bother fighting back and instead broached a subject he hoped wasn't going to lead to an argument. Shinji seemed to be in a good mood tonight and it was one of those rare occasions where neither one of them had to be up early in the morning so they could play for as long as they wished that night. However, if he didn't say anything and Shinji found out about it all later, he was sure he'd have to listen to him bitch about it for _days_. And Shinji could bitch better than a woman and for longer periods of time too.

"Aizen asked me to do another job today." He started, trailing off in a groan when Shinji's thumbs pressed into the backs of his thighs.

He paused in his ministrations before continuing. "Oh really?"

"He's never asked me to do anything before."

Shinji scoffed. "Bullshit, he's always…."

"No," Nnoitra interrupted. "He's always _tellin' _me to do shit. It was weird to be asked." He said off handedly.

"And?" He asked impatiently. If Nnoitra was about to tell him he was taking off again it would most definitely ruin their night together.

"I told him that if he could use someone else he could count me out."

He was surprised by that answer and to cover that he snapped out, "Why are you so formal with that man?"

"Che, like it or not I _am_ a criminal. I _do_ work as a grunt for a yakuza boss. Anyway, I ain't goin' so don't get all bitchy on me."

"I wasn't!" Shinji defended, his voice too loud.

"Were too. Even if I couldn't see that stupid pout on yer face I could hear it in yer voice." Nnoitra shot back.

"So why aren't ya goin' this time? I thought ya loved those jobs." He asked in a snippy tone.

Nnoitra shrugged and sighed. "Ain't sick of ya yet."

Shinji melted at the words and returned to his task of massaging Nnoitra. He couldn't help but go all soft and romantic when he said things like that, even if they were offhanded comments. As he worked his fingers back up Nnoitra's back he let his body stretch out over him, pressing himself close. After touching Nnoitra all over and hearing that he wasn't in fact leaving him, had actually volunteered information without prompt, he was suddenly in the mood for something more. He placed a kiss between Nnoitra's shoulder blades and worked his way up to the back of his neck before sinking his teeth into skin and tissue.

"I want you inside me so bad." He breathed, licking a line from the back of Nnoitra's neck to his shoulder.

Nnoitra smirked at the change in Shinji's mood. "Oh yeah?"

"Mmm, yeah."

"Whaddya gonna do about it?" He asked, shifting his weight.

"First," Shinji started, once again licking Nnoitra's neck before continuing. "I'mma take all my clothes off."

"Mmm?" He definitely liked where this was going.

"Then I'mma spread my legs as wide as they can go…," Tongue glided along the outer edge of Nnoitra's ear before teeth pulled at the lobe. "And let ya do whatever ya want to me."

Shinji sat back and pulled his shirt over his head before standing and letting his lounge pants fall to the floor. Nnoitra rolled over and looked up just in time to see the pants fall and take in a good view of a very nude Shinji standing before him. He smirked and licked his lips at the sight, leaning back on his elbows to see what would happen next. Shinji sat back down on the futon, his back against the front of the couch and let his legs fall open, his hardening cock drawing most of Nnoitra's attention. That was until Shinji shifted his hips and spread his legs further, slowly inching them apart to reveal himself more fully. He grinned as he looked up and caught Nnoitra's smile.

"Like whatcha see?" Shinji asked as he cocked an eyebrow at the bigger man.

Nnoitra snorted. "Dunno. Can't see all of it yet."

Shinji reached underneath himself with both hands and gripped his ass before slowly pulling the cheeks apart. He bit his lip as he watched Nnoitra watch him and lick his lips at the sight.

"Better?" He asked, panting a little now as his arousal grew.

"Almost." Nnoitra husked, massaging himself beneath the towel still covering his waist.

Letting go, Shinji brought both hands up to his mouth and sucked one of his middle fingers all the way in before repeating the action with the middle finger of his other hand. Once the digits were covered in saliva he replaced them back at his entrance and pressed them both in, his eyes fluttering closed at the sensation. When they were in to the second knuckle Shinji stopped and pulled himself open, his eyes opening once more to look up at Nnoitra.

"Yeah…." He scooted closer and loomed over Shinji, a hungry grin on his face. "Yer such a dirty slut sometimes."

"Enjoy it." Shinji tossed back with a smirk.

"I will." Nnoitra replied with a wide grin.

"What are ya gonna do?" Shinji whispered, his own eyes reflecting Nnoitra's hunger.

"I'mma give a slut what he deserves." He leaned forward and bit the top of Shinji's ear then pulled back so that Shinji could watch him slide a single finger inside his own mouth, wet it and take it out before lowering it to place at Shinji's entrance.

"Are ya gonna hurt me?" He asked in a breathy whisper, almost wishing that tonight Nnoitra would hurt him, if even a little. They hadn't played rough, real rough, in too long.

Nnoitra shoved the finger slowly inside Shinji and curled it, immediately finding his prostate and grinning widely when Shinji's breath caught in his throat. God he loved these games.

"I'mma make ya scream, Blondie."

Shinji shuddered at Nnoitra's words and watched with heavy lidded eyes as Nnoitra reached back with his free and grabbed the box of toys still stored near the television. He flipped the lid open and pulled out two items before pushing the box out of his way and once again looming over the blond. Shinji looked up at him curiously and frowned slightly when he noticed what one of those objects were.

"Oh, please don't gag me." He whined. He had a love hate relationship with that particular toy. In truth he loved hearing himself moan for Nnoitra, it turned him on even more. The gag blocked out the louder noises but the reason why he let Nnoitra do it at all was because of the look in the man's eye when he caught site of Shinji with drool dripping down his chin and heat pooling in his eyes. It was a look that told Shinji that not only did it turn him on and make him want to devour the smaller man, but there was something else hidden there that made Shinji's belly quiver.

Nnoitra smirked. "Much as I love that sweet voice 'a yers I ain't in the mood to have the police called 'cos yer neighbors think I'm killin' ya. Again."

Shinji pouted up at him and pursed his lips. "Kiss me first then."

"So demandin'." Nnoitra teased before complying. He really did love kissing this man.

As his tongue dove into Shinji's mouth, one finger still slowly played with his prostate, flicking, rubbing and massaging. He pulled back enough to watch Shinji's face as he pressed his fingernail lightly into the gland and had he been more aroused the sight and sound of that reaction would have had him messing himself right then and there. Shinji's head flew back and a half pained half surprised yelp left his mouth before turning into a deep throated moan of pleasure as walls of silk clamped around Nnoitra's finger. They had found_ that _particular bit of information out quite by accident but Nnoitra used it as an opening to slip the gag into place.

After securing it he pulled back once again to see Shinji glaring up at him. He chuckled and pulled his finger out of him as he ran his tongue along the edge were lip met neon pink ball.

"Yer mouth is so fuckin' pretty like this." He teased and Shinji raised one hand to flip him the bird. "That ain't nice." He reached for the other item he had grabbed and began to attach it to Shinji's wrist.

The leather cuff slid easily and almost perfectly into place, the short chain that attached it to it's twin was barely a foot long. With the chain cold against his lower back, Shinji shifted his weight and let his other arm go limp so that Nnoitra could attach it. Lightly bound and gagged Nnoitra leaned back to look at Shinji before pulling his legs underneath him and tossing the towel away.

"Turn around and get up on the couch." He commanded in a low tone, not surprised in the least when Shinji practically jumped to do his bidding. Now if only that worked in their everyday life.

Shinji rested his head on the back cushions of the couch, his knees spread wide and his ass tilted up in the air. His arms hung at his sides, the chain connecting the wrist cuffs draped across his lower back. Nnoitra drank in the sight before him before he spoke again.

"Now spread 'em for me."

Not needing to be told what exactly he was supposed to spread, Shinji reached back and once again spread his cheeks wide, his entrance practically twitching in anticipation.

"Don't let go." Nnoitra whispered tauntingly, close enough now to have his breath cause gooseflesh on Shinji's ass.

Shinji moaned and pressed his face into the top of the cushion. Without warning Nnoitra ran his tongue from the base of Shinji's balls to the top of his crack, grinning at the sound the younger man made before pressing the tip inside. He teased Shinji like this for some time, pressing his tongue in just barely before pulling it out to circle the hole and repeating. When Shinji started to back into him he chuckled and bit down on one of those perfectly rounded cheeks. When Shinji stiffened and then immediately melted at the attention Nnoitra drove his tongue in as far as he could make it go and curled it, tasting as much of him as he could.

Shinji was panting now, whines muffled by rubber about all the noise he could make at the moment. Just before he thought he would lose himself Nnoitra stopped and pulled back, standing behind the blond in one surprisingly graceful movement. Again without warning, Nnoitra pressed his hard cock inside Shinji, stopping halfway to take a deep breath. They didn't really need much as far as lubricant went with how loose Shinji was, they had sex everyday he was there even if it was only a quickie, but the friction using saliva caused was enough to make him pause. Not that it didn't feel good, it felt incredible actually.

As always Shinji gave as good as he got, pushing back on that fat cock inside him and swiveling his hips to add to sensation. Nnoitra was all the way in him now, one hand resting in the middle of Shinji's back and the other having dug into Shinji's thick blond hair, pulling his head back as he thrust into him. Pressure and pleasure was building and Nnoitra reached for one of the cuffs holding Shinji's wrist, releasing it and pulling back sharply on his hair.

"Ride me." He commanded, pulling both of them on the floor and maneuvering Shinji into his lap so that his back was facing Nnoitra's chest and his legs were spread widely and bent at the knee over Nnoitra's.

He brought the chain linked cuff behind his back and reattached it to Shinji's wrist before placing both hands on his hips and assisting in the rise and fall. Shinji let his head fall back and his hips undulate as he moved, high moans and muffled wails assaulting Nnoitra's ears as Shinji fucked himself as hard and fast as he could.

"Look at yerself." He husked grabbing Shinji's chin and forcing himself to look at the image reflected in the mirror that had been propped against the wall. "Dirty little bitch, takin' all my cock like that."

Shinji whined as he watched Nnoitra disappear inside him only to reappear moments later. Nnoitra reached down and cupped Shinji's balls, lifting to give an even better view.

"Ah, fuck." His face nuzzled into the side of Shinji's neck.

Shinji, barely aware of what he was doing, reached blindly under the couch as best he could and managed to find the bottle of lube he had shoved under there a week ago. Keeping his hips moving he popped open the cap and spread a glob on his middle finger. Not bothering to close the bottle he moved his hands so that the slicked finger was now gliding slowly between Nnoitra's cheeks. The larger man didn't notice a thing until the tip of Shinji's finger pressed inside him. He stiffened briefly before shifting his weight to give Shinji better access. As it was he wasn't able to go very deep but the effect the action was having on the both of them was enough.

"Ah… ah sh-shit." Nnoitra groaned, sinking his teeth into Shinji's neck briefly before meeting his eyes in the mirror. He wasn't sure that the blond could actually see him through the lust but he looked anyway.

And then it happened. The world seemed to slow as he watched himself in the mirror; watching Shinji, watching everything. The sensations on his body, the fluttering in his chest that had been there for so long now that he had forgotten when it started, everything seemed to coalesce. He felt his cock twitch as Shinji tightened briefly around him and his mouth opened slowly, working as if to form words only to fail. He did this again and again before he closed his eyes and buried his face in Shinji's neck.

"I-I love you."

It was barely a whisper groaned out as his orgasm began but he knew it had been heard. Shinji stopped moving completely, if only for a second, before Nnoitra thrust up into him, his hand stroking Shinji's cock and immediately making him cum. Nnoitra reached up and unsnapped the gag, pulling it out of Shinji's mouth and tossing it on the bed before kissing him deeply. He didn't care that it was overly wet and sloppy. Shinji bit down on his tongue and pressed his own finger deeper inside Nnoitra and finally the larger man came, fist tightening around Shinji's half limp cock and his other hand bruising his hip. Shinji freed himself from the wrist cuffs and turned in Nnoitra's lap, grabbing the sides of his face and forcing him to look at him.

"What did you say?" He asked, his breath still ragged.

Nnoitra blinked at him a few times before frowning and shrugging. It wasn't that he hadn't meant those words, it was just that now that he had said them he really didn't know how to feel. And Shinji's reaction was… unexpected.

"I dunno." Nnoitra feigned ignorance.

Shinji frowned deeply but continued to stare. "Didja mean it?" He asked after a moment, his voice low and serious.

Nnoitra scowled and looked challengingly into Shinji's eyes. "So what if I did?"

For a moment Nnoitra though Shinji was going to cry, his eyes had gotten wide and moist, but before anything else happened Shinji stood up abruptly and walked to the bathroom. Nnoitra frowned after him and ran a hand back through his hair. Now that he was coming down off the sex he was beginning to feel more than a little stupid for blurting something like that out. It may embarrass the hell out of him that he had said girly shit like that first, let alone at all, but it didn't change the fact that that was exactly how he felt. Of course it also made him feel slightly queasy but he was trying to ignore things like that in favor of lowering his heart rate and breathing.

When Shinji came out of the bathroom he was fully dressed and Nnoitra couldn't stop the frown from deepening.

"The fuck you doin' with clothes on?" He asked.

Shinji shifted on his feet and fidgeted with one of the belt loops on his pants. He hadn't even looked at what he was grabbing as he dressed himself.

"I fergot I have shit ta do at the club." He said, avoiding eye contact.

"What the fuck?" Nnoitra said, starting to raise himself off the floor.

Shinji's hands flew out in front of him as if to fend him off and he backed slowly to the door.

"Just… just get some sleep and I'll see ya later, okay?" He said, his voice shaky and slightly panicked.

He reached behind him for the door and opened it without looking. Nnoitra watched as Shinji backed out of the room and wondered at why he wasn't moving to get him. He had just _confessed his love_ for the little shit and he was running away. When the door shut he slumped back against the couch and stared ahead of him, his eyes fixing on nothing. Shinji was supposed to fall all over him and weep tears of joy when Nnoitra said things like that. It was what he had wanted, wasn't it? The queasy feeling in his stomach solidified and grew as the pain in his chest intensified and he realized that he wanted to throw up. Everything was hitting him from all sides now and it was too much for him to take. Great sex, confessing and Shinji running out on him. No, it was too much for him to deal with at the moment. With a sigh he pushed himself off the floor and buried everything as deep as it would go.

After a shower and another quick bite to eat he grabbed a bag full of clothes and locked the apartment door behind him. It looked like he wouldn't have to turn down that job after all.

* * *

Shinji ran to the nearest alley way and promptly vomited in a trash can. He hadn't been ready for something like that. Actually he had assumed that Nnoitra would never say that to him and the moment those words tumbled out of his mouth he had panicked. He needed to get away, to breathe, to make sure that he wasn't dreaming. He needed time to think. His head was swimming and he couldn't get his thoughts together enough to do so clearly so he reached for his phone and called the first person that came to mind. He didn't really care who answer first, he just knew that he couldn't go back in there with Nnoitra. Just the thought of it had his stomach churning once again.

"Hello?" A soft feminine voice answered on the third ring.

"Okaachan, can I stay there for the night?"

He couldn't face the man that had just told him he loved him. He couldn't cope or sort through the emotions those words and the person they had come from caused in him. The only thing he wanted to do was run away.

"Aw, baby what happened." Etta asked quietly and Shinji shook his head, leaning back against the alley wall and sliding to the ground.

"I'mma coward, that's what happened, okaachan." More thoughts swirled in the confusion that was inside his head.

That's exactly what he was: a big, stupid coward. He lowered his head to his knees as he waited for his mother to come and make it all better.

* * *

A/N YAY! I finally got this finished. It's been a LOOOOOONG week Duckies and I really do apologize for the wait this time. It really wasn't supposed to be this long. Anywho I don't really have anythign to say this time, lol. I really hope you all like this little flashback chapter and I've already kinda started on the next one and hope to have it out soon. The confrontation between two scared little boys... I mean men?, shall ensue!

Hope you enjoy!

~Penny

**Oh yes, Gaki no Tsukai is an awesome show. .com/watch?v=05slC3YC1EA Go there and watch the ass game. Yes you heard me, the ass game. :D**


	11. Forgiveness?: Moving Forward

Forgiveness?: Moving Forward

_Present Day_

Thunder growled in the clouds above, closer this time, and Shinji blinked down at the package at his feet trying to remember how to move his own limbs. He remembered going to his mother's house that night and staying up with her watching chick flicks and eating ice cream from the carton. Etta had frowned at her son when he told her what had happened and told him that he needed to go back and explain himself to Nnoitra as soon as possible. But when Shinji returned to the apartment Nnoitra was nowhere to be found. It took a month for him to realize that he wasn't coming back. And all because he couldn't handle three little words.

"Shin-chan?"

The voice was quiet and he vaguely recognized it as his mother's but he couldn't bring himself to respond; just continued to stare at the ground, at his feet, at the small package nestled there.

"Baby, you okay?"

He was numb everywhere except for his chest, the sore spot seemed to pulse with the beat of his heart and radiate outward. He could hear the blood rushing in his ears and feel his stomach begin to churn. He realized that his reaction all those years ago had been dramatic, it had been a major topic of discussion with Kisuke in the beginning. Okay, more than dramatic, and he had no excuse for that. With millions of random thoughts and memories clouding in his mind one thought struck him suddenly and moved his body finally into action. Nnoitra had left once over this situation, who was to say it wouldn't happen again.

Startling his mother with his sudden movement, Shinji bent down and retrieved the package off the ground, shoving it in his pocket before he took off at a full run to the house.

"Shin-chan!"

He almost knocked Ichigo over as he left, ignoring the question that was thrown at him as he jumped over the hood of his car and threw himself into the drivers seat. He started it up, reached for his phone and dialed as he pulled away from the curb and took off down the road, three curious faces staring after him on the sidewalk.

"The fuck was that about?" Ichigo asked as he watched Shinji's car disappear around the corner.

"Nnoi came over and I guess they fought." Grimmjow said, sighing and heading back to the house to grab the kids. That was the lamest fight he had seen in a long time. He had been expecting more from Nnoitra. And Shinji for that matter.

"I hope he's gonna be okay." Etta worried aloud before following Grimmjow back in the house to help with the children.

Ichigo sighed and shook his head. He was still completely out of the loop as far as what had just happened and it felt like more and more nowadays that he felt like that. Even with Shinji.

Meanwhile, Shinji finally got in touch with the person he was calling.

"Ah, happy birthday, Hirako-san." A bright and chipper voice greeted him.

"Fuck birthdays, my past just jumped up and bit me in the face and I'm kinda freakin' out."

There was a moment of silence before Kisuke responded in a more serious tone.

"What happened?"

"Long story short I was right and everyone else was wrong. Nnoi left because of me and now… fuck, Kisuke, what if he leaves again?" He was shaking and not really sure what he was saying. Kisuke was basically the only person he would ever talk to like this, even his mother didn't know some of the things they had spoken about.

"What are you doing right now?"

"I…." He blinked at the road in front of him and realized that he was well on his way to Nnoitra's apartment. His foot almost stomped on the brakes but he managed to brake lightly and he slowly took himself to the side of the road, parking and shutting off the car completely.

"Fuck, I don't know."

Without further prompt he told Kisuke everything that was said, leaning his head back against the headrest and closing his eyes as he spoke.

"I should go talk to him, shouldn't I?" He asked quietly, even though half his mind had already been made up to do so.

"Yes, I would think that the best course of action if you wish to make amends for your earlier actions. Just remember that you do have a support team in your family and friends and of course myself."

"Thanks Kisuke."

Calmer, something that always happened after he spoke to that man, Shinji tossed his phone on the passenger seat and started the car back up, pulling away from the curb and continuing the drive to Nnoitra's apartment. He didn't know what he would do if the man left because of his stupidity twice.

* * *

It wasn't fair how fucked up in the head Shinji made Nnoitra. At first, when he had left the house, he had been pissed off. Not so much because Shinji was a bitch, he knew that already and for some stupid reason it was part of the blond's charm, but remembering what had happened always put him in a bad mood. He hadn't been lying when he said that he had been humiliated that day. He hadn't been lying when he said that he had never said those three words to anyone else in his life. He knew that even as a child he had never loved either one of his parents, and the brotherly love he had with Grimmjow had never had to be spoken of aloud. Even after six years of on again off again with Szayel he knew he had never loved him. It was all Shinji. Only Shinji.

The irritating little fuck.

He didn't go straight home, opting instead to stop by a bar and pound a few beers before grabbing some food from his now favorite pizza parlor. The place was fantastic really and he didn't even have to order anything anymore. All he had to do was walk in the front door and the guy behind the counter was off to make his order. It was kind of nice actually. With a few beers in his belly and a pizza in hand he walked the rest of the way back to his apartment, doing his best not to think about anything but the prospect of eating, watching some pay per view porn and hopefully passing into a dreamless sleep.

When he reached to top of the stairs and started to pull his keys from his pocket he stopped when he noticed the figure seated on the floor outside his door. He frowned and walked the rest of the way down the hall, stopping before the figure and staring down at the top of his head. Shinji was leaned against the wall beside his door, knees brought up to his chest and head resting on a pair of folded arms, apparently dozing. Nnoitra smirked and stuck his key in the lock.

"The fuck you gonna do, sleep in the hall?" He said loudly as he opened the door and let himself inside.

Shinji jerked awake, not having realized that he had fallen asleep in the first place, and looked up at Nnoitra from where he sat. Nnoitra shook his head and walked inside, setting the pizza box on the counter and pulling off his large coat, tossing it aside and forgetting about it. Shinji stood slowly, barely stepping inside the room and staring at the floor when he finally did so. He wasn't sure what to do now that Nnoitra was home and they were alone.

"Shut the door, idiot."

Shinji obeyed instantly but still didn't bother to look up yet. Nnoitra sighed and shook his head. What the hell? Did the blond come over to stare at his tatami? The little bit of alcohol in his system had him antsy and his hands itched to do something; touch something. He glared over at Shinji, letting his eye rake down the younger man's body, taking in his tight dark jeans, his equally tight green shirt and his long blond hair left loose behind him. Even with those god awful pink shoes he looked good. He moved close to him, angling his head down so that he was looking at the top of his head once again and cocked a hip.

"So what the fuck? Ya come here ta say somethin' 're ya just gonna stand there and…."

Shinji placed both hands in the center of Nnoitra's chest and pushed as hard as he could catching the taller man off guard and making him stumble backwards. He barely caught himself before he hit the wall and looked across the room at Shinji.

"You _asshole_!" He yelled.

"What?" Nnoitra shouted back indignantly.

"Ya couldn't wait 'til I got home ta talk ta me 'bout this? Ya just take off? Do you have _any_ idea what ya put me through? How pissed off and scared and worried about you I was?"

"Put you through? Fuck, doncha think 'a anyone else but yerself? News flash Blondie, I got feelin's too. Ya ever wonder how _I_ felt 'bout all this?" He took a step closer to Shinji and sneered down at him. "Yer such a selfish bitch, ya know that? It's aaaaall you or it don't matter, right? Why doncha ask yerself how ya would of felt if the tables'd been turned."

Shinji often forgot that Nnoitra had a far wider range of emotions than he liked to let others witness. The man seemed only capable of anger, mischief, and copious amounts of lust most of the time so it was an easy thing to mistake.

"Ya didn't give me a chance ta explain myself! Ya drop that bomb in my lap and then the world fuckin' explodes with one of the best orgasms I've ever had in my life right before panic wipes it all away." Shinji shook his head and bit his lip a moment. "I was scared, okay?" He admitted quietly.

Nnoitra snorted. "Bit more'n scared. Ya freaked the fuck out."

"Yeah, well when I came back to apologize you were gone." His voice was raising again but he didn't care.

"Che, as far as I knew we were done."

"How does that make us over? Just 'cos I didn't say it back and needed a little bit to calm down after ya told me?"

"You. Fucking. Left. I said it and you fucking ran away." Nnoitra was practically in Shinji's face now, their noses inches apart.

"I told you I was scared!"

"All I said was that I love you. The fuck's so scary about that?"

"Because I love you too!"

Eyes widened and backs straightened as they realized their words and looked into the others eyes. Shinji blushed and was the first to look away, crossing his arms over his chest and sucking his bottom lip into his mouth. He really hadn't meant to say that. Not out loud anyway. Nnoitra cleared his throat and ran a hand back through his hair, shifting to the left a bit, a part of him wondering why everything had to be so awkward after words like that.

"Really?" He asked quietly, trying desperately to stop his stomach from quivering and his heart from crashing through his ribs.

"Maybe." Shinji said in an almost pouting voice, flat out refusing to look at him yet. "You were… tellin' me the truth back then?"

"Hey, I may be an asshole but I ain't ever lied to ya."

He was right, in all the years they had known each other, Nnoitra had never lied to Shinji. He had refused to answer certain questions and kept certain things to himself, but he had never once lied.

"So…." Shinji started, still not looking at Nnoitra as he shifted his weight. "What now?"

"We could fuck." Nnoitra said hopefully. As far as he was concerned the fight was over and it was time for make up sex. Make up sex with Shinji was always fun.

Shinji pouted at him, his eyebrows almost touching with the intensity. He felt like he should yell more, but he wasn't quite sure why. Then again there was another part of him that wanted to throw himself in Nnoitra's arms and forgive and forget. It shouldn't be this simple, especially after everything he had put himself through.

Nnoitra moved closer, reaching out and tapping Shinji's elbow with a crooked finger. "We good?"

Shinji sighed deeply and felt his entire body relax as he leaned forward and rested his forehead on Nnoitra's chest. "Yeah, I guess so." _God_, he said to himself, _please don't let this be another stupid mistake_. He didn't know if he could handle it if it was.

He didn't really know what he was expecting but it caught him off guard when thin, strong arms wrapped around him and pulled him into a tight hug. After a moment he returned it, burying his face in Nnoitra's chest. His head was swimming and his heart was racing. He wanted to run; he wanted to stay there locked in that embrace forever. His eyes closed and began to sting with the prick of tears when Nnoitra softly kissed the top of his head.

"You open yer present yet?" Nnoitra asked as he awkwardly parted from Shinji's embrace. He couldn't handle things like that for very long.

"Uhm… not yet." He replied, reluctant to end touching just yet.

"Why the fuck not. Ya love presents."

Shinji smiled and dropped his arms, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the small package.

"Open it." Nnoitra pushed, grinning like an eager child on Christmas. It was almost as if the gift were for him.

Shinji shook his head and held it up for the man to see. "The hell ya do, use an entire roll of tape?"

The package looked like a small child had wrapped it, the tape so thick around it that it was hard to tell what color the original wrapping was.

Nnoitra smirked. "Had ta make sure it'd stay put."

"I need some scissors to saw through it." Shinji muttered to himself, not able to control the stupid smile on his face. The mood in the room and between them had changed so fast it made his head spin but he couldn't bring himself to worry about it.

Nnoitra handed him a pocket knife and he made quick work of it, slicing open the top and tipping it over to fall in his hand. Two pearls, one black, one pink, were situated in the center of a simple macramé knotted bit of hemp. Shinji's eyes widened at what he saw and he looked up at Nnoitra questioningly.

"I found the pink one first and took it 'cos it reminded me of… you." Nnoitra cleaned his throat again and looked away from the blond. "Then after I got the black one I stayed with some Americans for a month or so and one'a them taught me how to do that."

"You… you made this?" Shinji asked with wide eyes before turning them back to the short necklace.

Nnoitra scowled. "Yeah, so."

"Ya made this for me?"

Nnoitra rolled his eye and crossed his arms over his chest defensively. "Duh."

"Why?"

Nnoitra shrugged and reached a hand into his pocket. "I didn't know what ta do with those things at first 'til I remembered the bracelet you made me. That stupid pink and black thing." He pulled his keys out of his pocket and showed Shinji the braided bracelet Shinji had made him a year after they had started officially seeing each other hanging from the ring. "It finally fell off about six months ago." He said, placing them back in his pocket. "Anyway it gave me that idea and well…."

When Shinji continued to stare at the object in his hand Nnoitra frowned. "It's a necklace." He said, thinking that Shinji wasn't sure what it was.

"I know." Shinji breathed.

There were too many thoughts floating around in his head at the moment for him to think straight. He simply couldn't believe that Nnoitra, _Nnoitra_, had gone out of his way to _make_ him something. And it was good. The knot work was simple yet perfect and the pearls, though not the typical perfect round, were beautiful and raw. The pink one was pastel in color and almost oval in shape with one end larger than the other. The black one was a slate grey color and looked as if two smaller pearls had been fused together. Neither one of them were very big, smaller than an American dime, and were nestled close together on the knotting.

"Well, do ya like it 'er not?" Nnoitra asked impatiently.

"No." Shinji said, causing Nnoitra to frown as he looked up at him. He smiled sweetly and closed his hand around the necklace. "I love it."

He used his free hand placed in the middle of Nnoitra's chest to propel him backwards until the back of his legs hit the couch. Nnoitra sat heavily, a wide and knowing grin on his face. Oh yeah, now it was time for make up sex. Without skipping a beat Shinji crawled up into Nnoitra's lap and dove in for a kiss, bypassing the sweetness to immediately shove his tongue in his mouth; curling, tasting, needing. Nnoitra reached up, burying his hands in Shinji's long hair and pulling him closer as if to devour him. Shinji's hands began to work Nnoitra's buttons from their holes, almost tearing a few in his haste to undress the man beneath him.

"Why are ya wearin' buttons." Shinji mumbled when they pulled apart to catch their breaths.

"Ta piss ya off."

Shinji snorted as the last button was freed and he yanked the shirt off, tossing it on the floor behind him. He pulled back and frowned at the black wife beater Nnoitra still wore but got impatient and instead of doing anything about it yet his teeth were suddenly on his neck, nibbling and biting hard the flesh. Nnoitra groaned and let his head fall back as his own hands pulled Shinji's shirt out of his pants an up over his head. He was mildly disappointed that he wasn't wearing a tie but when he slipped his hands up Shinji's chest and felt the little metal studs in his nipples he distracted himself immediately with twisting and plucking them. Shinji mewled slightly at the attention and arched his back, pressing his chest into Nnoitra's hands and he licked and nipped his way down the side of his neck.

Nnoitra let one hand fall and began to pull Shinji's belt free from the buckle just as his teeth sank into Shinji's collar bone and he tongued to bone. When his tongue ring scraped across Shinji's skin he shivered from the sensation before pulling back to look heatedly down into Nnoitra's uncovered eye.

"When didja get that thing?" He asked breathily as he yanked the wife beater off. Nnoitra's deft fingers pulled the button at the top of his pants through the hole.

"My birthday last year." Nnoitra responded, barely letting the words from his mouth before he was attacking Shinji's throat. "I was thinkin' 'bout gettin' two." He added between licks.

Shinji moaned quietly, imagining Nnoitra's long tongue with not one but two studs through it; imagined how that skilled tongue would feel even better against his cock and on his skin. And then he remembered just how long it had been since he had gotten a blow job from Nnoitra, shuddering when he realized that he could have that now practically any time he wanted.

"Oh God, please get another one."

Nnoitra chuckled as his teeth closed around Shinji's Adam's apple and he sucked hard. Shinji tipped his head back and let out a low groan, squeezing his legs slightly and just barely rocking his hips forward. His zipper was lowered and Nnoitra's hands began to caress his backside, his thumbs curled over the waistband. Shinji's hands fumbled with Nnoitra's pants as his own were slowly and gently pulled down to expose half his ass. Not missing a beat Nnoitra slipped his middle finger inside the fabric and ran it delicately along the cleft. Shinji sucked in a breath and leaned forward, pushing back into the finger. Nnoitra unlatched himself from Shinji's neck only to suck his bottom lip into his mouth before kissing him deeply.

When the teasing finger finally slipped between his cheeks and pressed against his eager entrance Shinji finally had Nnoitra's pants all the way open. He hooked a finger in the waistband and pulled back from the kiss.

"Lube now?"

Nnoitra nodded and pointed with his free hand to a small stack of books near the wall, a small bottle of lubricant standing on top. Shinji leaned over, Nnoitra placing a levering hand on his hip, and grabbed it, tossing it on the couch beside them before returning to the task of pulling that long hard cock out of Nnoitra's pants. He had to maneuver it some, shift hips and pull fabric, before it was freed and he couldn't help but stare when he finally got a good look at it. Nnoitra chuckled low at the look on Shinji's face. The cock in his hand twitched at the feather light touches and Nnoitra tilted his head to bite the side of Shinji's ear.

"That missed ya too." He said in a teasingly husky voice.

Shinji rolled his eyes and giggled. "Baka."

"You should sit on it and make it feel better."

Shinji continued to giggle as he stroked his long fingers up the thick shaft. He touched the pad of his middle finger over the slit in the head and licked Nnoitra's shoulder.

"I got a better idea."

Nnoitra licked his lips and let his eye roll closed. "Oh yeah?"

Instead of answering Shinji slid gracefully out of Nnoitra's lap and onto the floor between his legs. He bit his lip as he got a closer look and felt his mouth salivate. He wanted that hot piece of flesh in his mouth so bad he could practically taste it already. He licked his upper lip as he shifted his body closer to the object he desired and looked up into Nnoitra's violet eye. There had been something he had wanted to say for years but had never thought to do so until after the opportunity had passed. With cheeks flushed and lips already kiss swollen he let his eyes fall half mast before speaking.

"Dein Schwanz ist ein Gott, und ich werde ihn mit meiner Zunge anbeten." He whispered before closing his eyes and circling his tongue around the head.

Nnoitra groaned and let his head fall back, shifting his hips a little closer to the edge of the couch as he did so. He hadn't had his cock sucked in way too long and he knew that Shinji would be able to deliver mind blowing fellatio. He didn't even care what the younger man had said at this point as long as he kept doing whatever it was he did with his tongue while his cock was in his mouth. Shinji's lips wrapped around the head and sucked before taking a bit more inside. He wanted to go slow, wanted to savor it, but already the only thing he could think about was Nnoitra ramming that cock strong and deep inside him until he screamed or cried or passed out; or all of the above.

Apparently Nnoitra seemed to have the same idea, though he would have loved to keep that mouth down there longer he couldn't bring himself to wait for the hard fast fucking he knew was coming. Shinji was only able to make it half way down the cock before him when Nnoitra grabbed him by the hair and pulled back, pulling him back into his lap as he slammed their mouths together. Shinji moaned quietly when their cocks met at the same time their tongues did and pushed his hips forward into Nnoitra's.

"I wasn't finished." He said breathily against Nnoitra's mouth.

"Ya c'n suck it later. I need ta be inside ya."

He started to pull Shinji's pants off him hastily and stand up off the couch at the same time. He reached behind himself blindly for the couch cushions and threw them across the room in his haste to pull the bed out. Shinji in turn pulled at Nnoitra's pants, pleased when they easily fell to the floor and his was able to touch every part of him unhindered. Shinji latched on to Nnoitra's left nipple and vaguely heard the thud of the pull out bed opening. Nnoitra pushed him down onto it and climbed up on top of him, a long lean thigh edging between his legs. Lips met once more and groins ground together, sensation spreading and tingling the skin.

"Roll over." Nnoitra growled and Shinji obeyed, arching his back and angling his ass up in the air provocatively.

"Mmmm." He said before slapping Shinji's ass appreciatively.

He looked around for the lube and frowned when he realized it had probably gotten thrown across the room in his haste. Luck was with him though when he found in on the floor by the side of the bed and he bent to retrieve it, slicking up one finger before dropping it to the bed beside him. Without warning he pressed the finger deep inside Shinji and grinned when the blond groaned loudly and pushed back against him. Oh he was going to give him more alright, Nnoitra thought to himself as he grabbed his own cock and positioned it at the twitching hole. Not bothering to remove his finger he pushed the head inside and curled his finger at the same time, brushing teasingly against his prostate.

"Oh, ffff-uh… nggh-ah…."

Nnoitra slid deeper, finger still tickling and teasing, his grin growing with the escalating sounds coming from the man beneath him. He curled his finger and lifted his hand, stretching Shinji open that much wider and wondering if he should try to fit another finger inside him. Shinji loved to be filled to capacity and pushing that capacity limit was another of his favorites. Nnoitra decided one finger was enough for now though and grabbed the back of Shinji's head once more, pulling him up off the bed and back against his chest, cock still working slowly in and out of him. Shinji whined at the harsh treatment but ground back into Nnoitra, begging for more.

"Oh, fuck. Harder. Nnoi, fuck me harder."

"Hands on the wall."

Shinji fell forward into the wall behind the couch, spreading his legs and arms for support as Nnoitra picked up his pace. He was moaning and groaning loudly now, words that weren't words tumbled from his lips and he leaned his face against the wall. Nnoitra pressed Shinji's prostate once again with his finger and delighted when the smaller man shuddered and whined. He was close, closer than he should have been at this point, but in the back of his mind he knew he'd get the chance to do this again before the blond went home. He leaned back and pressed one hand into the back of Shinji's head, pushing him harder against the wall as he picked up his speed. When he felt himself almost there he dug his fingernail into Shinji's prostate before pressing and holding pressure.

At first Shinji almost screamed, the pain washing over him and almost instantly melting away to pleasure. Then he cried out and tightened around Nnoitra, pushing back and trying to take him in as deep as he could as he felt his orgasm crest. Nnoitra yanked his finger out and grabbed both of Shinji's hips, pounding into him now and grunting with the effort. At last the both of them snapped, Nnoitra cumming first and triggering Shinji's. Shaking, Shinji slumped against the wall and was surprised when long arms wrapped around him and pulled him down on the bed.

"Fuck." He panted, his eyes not wanting to stay open no matter how hard he tried.

Nnoitra slowly pulled out and sighed as he rolled over on his back. Shinji too rolled over, curling into Nnoitra's side and flopping an arm over his middle. Slowly their breaths caught and evened out, their cognitive control returned and Nnoitra realized that he was fucking hungry. And incredibly tired. Shinji was running circles around his nipple with his pointer finger when he suddenly giggled.

"I'm still holdin' the necklace." He said quietly. His body felt incredibly light and his mind for the first time in years was blank and tranquil. He felt truly relaxed and didn't want to ever move again.

Nnoitra yawned and rubbed his hand over his belly, drawing Shinji's attention to something that he had noticed the first time they had slept together. He shifted his body lower, scooting down the side of Nnoitra's body so that he could get a look at the new addition. When he finally got a good look at it his breath caught and he bit his lip. It was a simple black kanji situated just to the left and below his navel that was instantly recognizable to the blond. It was the first part of his first name after all. Shinji fingered the tattoo without saying anything and wondered just what the kanji was supposed to represent. It could have just represented it's definition, which was _truth_, but that didn't make much sense.

"It's what ya think it is." Nnoitra said in a thick and gravelly voice.

He couldn't stop his smile nor his body from moving and his arms slid up and around Nnoitra's neck as he buried his face into his chest. Oh God, his chest was going to explode.

"Sorry. Initiating Chick Mode."

Nnoitra chuckled and sleepily wrapped his arms around Shinji's smaller frame. He always thought it a bit funny when Shinji warned others of the impending wave of girly emotions. Shinji just held on tight and closed his eyes, a few happy tears escaping as he cuddled close. Right then he didn't want to be anywhere else or with anyone else in the world. With one hand splayed out over the new tattoo Shinji and Nnoitra both fell into a deep and relaxing sleep, content and comfortable completely and wholly for the first time in years.

* * *

A/N Ah, this has been a long week yet again. So much for a nice relaxing summer off, lol. Okay, first off for those of you not familiar with Shinji's name in Japanese his first name is 真子. The kanji that Nnoitra has tattooed on his belly is 真 which translates, according to wiki, to _Truth._ More on the tattoo and circumstances later. And yay! They fucked and made up... if only this were the end of their problems, ;p A short "honeymoon" period to ensue and we'll take a little peek on how Grimm and Ichi are doing with the stress of being working fathers. So yeah, I think that's all I wanted to say. I'm gonna take a bit of a break from SG to get more Twin Flames out so hopefully that will make everyone happy. Until then I say adeiu :D

~Penny

**Ah, I almost forgot. "Dein Schwanz ist ein Gott, und ich werde ihn mit meiner Zunge anbeten." means: "Your cock is a god and I will worship it with my tongue." I believe I got the translation from Werwolfsbraut from y!gallery ages ago :D Thanks Duckie!**

***Also, this is a link to a picture showing a few different hemp knots. http:/www. hempjewelryshop .com/ missy/hemp_misc/hemp_design_. (just take out the spaces I had to add to see pic.) Nnoi did the first and from my experience that one is the most easy to do. Simple but effective and beautiful in it's simplicity ***


	12. Confessions

Confessions

Ichigo plopped himself on the couch after the kids had been put to bed and closed his eyes. He had been working longer shifts recently, getting in as much hands on training and experience with surgeries as he could, and had had little time to do much of anything else. Being so tired, he had also been snappish, yelling at Grimmjow over nothing and getting roaring migraines when the kids got too loud. Couple that with the rather abrupt meeting of Karin's boyfriend, a long day at Shinji's party, catching his father making out with Etta in the kitchen _and_ getting to meet Yuzu's new boyfriend, all he wanted to do was close his eyes and sleep for three days. _What about Shinji?_ his brain reminded him and he groaned out loud. Yes, and he was thoroughly worried about his best friend as well.

"Yer workin' too hard." Grimmjow said quietly as he sat beside him on the couch.

"Don't have much choice. How else am I supposed to be a competent surgeon if I don't have experience?"

"Yeah, but you being like this will effect your performance. What would you do if you ended up killin' someone because you were too tired before surgery?"

"Don't even joke about that Grimm."

"I'm just sayin', Ichi. You're only twenty five. Slow the fuck down a bit." Grimmjow grabbed Ichigo's hand and linked their fingers, something that they had both started doing as a soothing gesture for the other over the years.

"Did you see that punk Yuzu's seeing? God, he worse than the one Karin's seeing." Ichigo complained, remembering the young man's almost neon red spiky hair.

Grimmjow snorted. "You of all people should know better than to judge a book by it's cover."

"Don't start. Let me hate my sisters' boyfriends in peace." he sighed again and let his head fall on Grimmjow's shoulder. "And what the fuck was Nnoitra doing there?"

"I don't think you need to worry about that either. Him and Blondie have been needing to talk for a while now."

"Yeah, but…."

"Ichigo, shut up." Grimmjow said firmly, earning him a pair of narrowed chocolate eyes. "I'm sure he'll call you all about it later. Right now I want you to go take a long hot shower," he stopped and grinned widely. "Then I'll fuck ya to sleep and you can spend the rest of the day tomorrow in bed for all I care. I'll even take the kids out so you can get some peace and quiet."

Ichigo continued to glare. "Why do I feel like you're up to something?"

Grimmjow snorted. "Geez, can't even be nice to the man I love without being suspected of bad things." He did have an ulterior motive but it was a surprise that he wasn't going to let Ichigo in on.

Predictably, at the words of love, Ichigo seemed to melt a little and his glare faded as he sighed and pushed himself off the couch. "Fine." he said at length, stretching his sore back with a groan before heading towards the bedroom.

Grimmjow smirked and walked to the kitchen, grabbing a beer and waiting for the sounds of the shower and bathroom door shutting before pulling out his cell phone. He popped open his can as he waited for the line to connect and half smiled, half grimaced at the overly cheerful voice that greeted him.

"Grimm! So you've decided?"

"Yeah, kinda. I'll need some hands tomorrow so can you and Karin help out?" he asked as he walked back in the living room.

"Of course we can. I still can't believe you're keeping this from onii-chan though. It seems kinda mean."

Grimmjow snorted. "Please. You know him. If I tell him about this he'll obsess about every little detail and it'll never get done right. Besides, he needs some rest. Idiot's working too hard again."

He heard a small sigh and smiled softly. "Onii-chan is too much like daddy when it comes to his job."

At the mention of Ichigo's father, the man still didn't like him, Grimmjow's smirk curled into something a bit more dangerous. "Oh, and one more thing. Ichigo's not to keen on yer new boyfriend so be prepared."

"Well Jinta is a nice boy and onii-chan should know better than to judge before getting to know someone."

He laughed. "That's what I said. Anyway, he's done now so I have to go. I'll call you guys when I'm getting ready to leave tomorrow. And thanks, Yuzu."

"Oh, you know it's no problem. Anything for the happy family."

Grimmjow placed his phone back in his pocket and finished off his beer before checking on the kids one last time. They were sound asleep and he hoped that they would continue to do so through the rest of the night. They had had a rather long day, after all. As plans for the next day swirled through his head he walked deliberately to the bedroom to make sure his favorite strawberry got a pounding that would be sure to keep the neighbors good and jealous for a week.

* * *

Nnoitra's eye slowly slid open as he tried to figure out what that weird noise was. Almost like hissing but not quite. As he slowly gathered the bits and pieces of his scattered brain he realized the front of his chest was damp and when he looked down he was confused for a moment. Thin lips titled in a grin when he saw the thick blond hair spread every which way, but the wet and almost hissing sound still confused him. It wasn't until Shinji's shoulders shook slightly at the same time as the noise that it started to make sense. Shinji was crying in his sleep. His grin faltered and he reached up to thread his long fingers through Shinji hair. Shinji sniffled again and buried his face further into Nnoitra's chest, not quite ready to wake just yet. Nnoitra licked his lips and pulled on Shinji's hair, happy when he grunted and his eyes fluttered open. He watched Shinji blink a few times, gather his thoughts a bit, before he shifted and pushed himself up, turning his head and meeting Nnoitra's eye. Nnoitra's hand fell out of Shinji's hair and he reached out, his thumb touching the steady stream of tears coming from the corner of Shinji's right eye.

"Stop it." he said, his voice gruff.

Shinji frowned and wiped at his wet face, slightly ashamed of himself. His dream had been so intense that he didn't realize he had been crying for real. In it Nnoitra had left again, this time telling Shinji that he was such a gullible person. That all he had wanted was a chance to fuck him a few more times before he took off for good this time. That he had lied. That he could never love a stupid blond whore like him.

"Sorry." he whispered, looking away from Nnoitra's intent gaze.

He chuckled. "What's this gettin' all shy shit?" he teased, hoping to lighten the mood a bit.

Shinji rolled his eyes. "I'm not gettin' shy, asshole." he mumbled, shifting his weight so that he was no longer laying practically on top of the larger man.

"Where you goin'?" Nnoitra asked, tightening one arm around Shinji's waist.

"I ain't goin' nowhere. Quit holdin' me so tight." he complained.

Nnoitra grinned. "No."

Shinji frowned. "Let go…."

"I ain't never lettin' go." he husked out, his face suddenly serious. "Not again."

Shinji bit his lip and let his head fall to Nnoitra' chest with a groan. Nnoitra chuckled.

"Yer stuck with me big time now."

"Fuckin' hell." Shinji whined.

Nnoitra almost started laughing when his stomach growled and he grunted, looking backwards at the box of pizza still sitting on the kitchen counter. It would be cold by now but it would still taste good. He licked his lips at the thought of cold pizza and colder beer and hoped he still had some in his tiny ass refrigerator.

"You hungry?" he asked but all he received as a reply was a deep, drawn out sigh.

However, when he moved to sit up Shinji made no attempt to hold him down and Nnoitra went straight for the box, inhaling one slice before taking another out to savor. Shinji sat up in the bed, stretching a little before he looked at the necklace still clenched in his hand. He gave it a small smile and reached up, circling it around his neck and attaching the knot at the back. It hung just barely below the V of his collar bone and he let his fingers brush gently over it, the small smile growing just a bit. Nnoitra watched him as he chewed and smirked.

"Looks good on ya." he said quietly after he swallowed.

"Of course it does." Shinji grinned. "I'm hot. Everythin' looks good on me."

Nnoitra laughed. "Full 'a yerself as ever."

Shinji bit his lip and looked over at the tall naked man eating pizza, his mouth watering for more than one reason. He hadn't eaten much at the party, had been too busy to really, and seeing the pizza was making him hungry. And of course seeing Nnoitra naked and leaning casually against the counter as he chewed had other thoughts raging in his mind. There was still so much that needed to be said, so much he still wanted to know, but he was reluctant to bring it all up again and ruin this mellow mood between them. It was the first time in too long he wanted to just be in the same room as Nnoitra without feeling like he should be ranting or attacking the other man.

"I want to take a shower." Shinji said, earning him a cocked eyebrow.

"Ain't got one here." he pointed out before taking another bite of food.

"I know that stupid. I meant… going back ta my place."

Nnoitra shook his head. "I toldja I ain't lettin' ya leave…."

"I wancha ta come with me." he interrupted.

Both men stared at each other for a moment, an awkward sort of tension filling the space between them. Nnoitra finished off the pizza in hand and titled his head to the side as he licked his lips clean.

"Ya want me ta come with ya? And shower with ya?" he grinned. "And sleep in yer bed with ya?"

Shinji rolled his eyes and huffed out a sigh. "I could just leave and not take ya with me ya know."

Nnoitra smirked. "No ya can't." he said matter-of-factly.

After a short staring contest, Shinji losing just like he always had in the past, he sighed again. "Yes. I wancha ta come with me, shower with me, and sleep with me in my bed. Happy?"

"Ecstatic." he replied with a wide grin.

Shinji stood and walked over to where Nnoitra was standing, reaching for a slice of pizza and tearing a large bite from it. Nnoitra continued to grin at him, briefly washing his hands off in the sink.

"Ya know, fer all yer attitude ya have like no manners when I comes ta eatin'."

"I do to!" Shinji said around a mouthful of food.

Nnoitra chuckled and kissed his cheek. "I ain't complain'. Kinda hot. Prim little bitch with pizza sauce on his chin…."

"There is nothin' on my face." Shinji frowned, wiping his chin nonetheless.

"No. Here." Nnoitra leaned forward and swiped his tongue across Shinji's chin, taking up the little bit of sauce the blond had missed.

Shinji blushed lightly and cleaned his throat. "Whatever."

"Get dressed. I wanna get ya naked and wet."

Shinji snorted and said, "Didn't ya already do that." under his breath.

"Fuck yeah. And I'mma do it again. And again. And again." Nnoitra replied as he pulled on his pants, eager to leave.

The car ride was short and quiet, both of them lost to thought. Nnoitra couldn't believe how good things were going now. If only the bitch had gotten that fight out of his system earlier they could have been at this point weeks ago. Shinji was still struggling with the happiness he was feeling but he was trying not to let it dampen his mood. Every time a flutter was felt in his chest part of him would remind him of how he had felt just days before. Remind him of what he had done to himself, to others, let others do to him, while the man was gone. He didn't think he would get away with not telling Nnoitra about the videos, or the drugs, or all the men he had slept with in his absence but… that could wait until another time. Another part of him told him that he had nothing to be ashamed about. It wasn't as if they had been together during that time so he hadn't been doing anything wrong. He was certain that Nnoitra hadn't spent all that time without sex after all. That would have been… that would have been like thinking that Ichigo had dropped out of med school to become a monk after Grimmjow had said 'I love you'. Very, very, unlikely.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when they arrived at his house and luck was with him when he opened the door to find the house empty. Either Tesla was gone for the night, or he'd be back later. Shinji was just glad that he didn't have to deal with him at the moment. After a long shower, Nnoitra of course wasn't able to keep his hands to himself very long, they entered Shinji bedroom. Shinji was nervous, this being the first time he had ever brought a man into his bedroom that wasn't Tesla or Ichigo, but he tried to hide it by throwing his hair over his shoulder and plopping down on the side of the bed. Nnoitra dropped his towel to the floor and joined him, bending down to kiss Shinji's shoulder.

The bedroom was much bigger than the one at his mother's house, the bed bigger as well. The colors were far more subdued but still decidedly feminine in Nnoitra's mind. Pale golds, greens, and browns decorated the bedding and the curtains while the furniture itself was a pale, naked wood. Even the bed frame, the simple slatted headboard giving Nnoitra many ideas as he eyes looked it over. It seemed sturdy enough for most of those ideas.

"Yer shiverin'." Nnoitra pointed out as he licked Shinji's shoulder.

"I'm cold."

"Mmm. Let's warm ya up then." Nnoitra replied, reaching for Shinji's chin and dipping his head, placing a small almost delicate kiss at the corner of his mouth.

Shinji's breath sucked in and his mouth dropped open at the attention. He didn't think he'd ever get used to nor fully be able to enjoy this sort of gentleness; especially from this man. It did things to his body, made his heart race and his skin turn to gooseflesh. It was almost too good a feeling, so much so that it scared him most of the time.

"Nnoi…."

"Shut up. We had hard sex before. Now I'mma make love to ya, so deal."

Shinji whined when the light kisses continued, across his cheek and down the side of his neck, feathering over his shoulder as a work-rough hand touched lightly at his hip. He closed his eyes and sighed as his head fell back, his own hands coming up to Nnoitra's back and rubbing soothingly. Nnoitra shifted him, moving Shinji so that he could lay him out on the bed and slowly lowered himself over him. His tongue laved over a bony clavicle, down over a sloping sternum, and across an already pebbled nipple. Shinji's back arched and he let out a small moan, one hand fisting in the bedspread and the other threading in Nnoitra's hair. A pink tongue flicked at the corner of his mouth as Nnoitra swirled his tongue around Shinji's navel.

"Nnoi I…."

Nnoitra looked up at him and cocked an eyebrow.

"I don't know how much this bed c'n handle." he whispered, his eyes fluttering as one of Nnoitra's hands glided up over his thigh.

"Huh?" he asked, confused.

"I've… never had sex in this bed b'fore."

"Never?" Nnoitra asked, surprised and even more turned on at the thought.

Shinji shook his head in answer and bit his lip at the look in Nnoitra's eye. He lifted his hand form the bed and reached for the bandana around Nnoitra's eye, not stopping when the larger man flinched.

"Please." he whispered, sliding his fingers underneath it and pulling it gently back and off.

Nnoitra sighed and lowered his head once again, sucking a spot on Shinji's skin just below his navel where a thin trail of hair led to his hardening cock. Pale thighs spread and Nnoitra situated himself between them, kissing and licking his way back up Shinji's body and pressing his own cock eagerly against him. He sucked at a smooth neck, leaving a mark behind before trailing his tongue across the underside of Shinji's jaw, up over his chin and over full lips. Shinji's hands cupped the sides of Nnoitra's face, his breathing heavy and his eyes barely able to stay open. Nnoitra pulled back just barely, looking down at Shinji and licking his lips with a frown full of lust on his face. He bit his lip and sighed to try and catch his breath.

"Nnoi…."

The tiny plea in the voice had Nnoitra moving again, sucking lips into his mouth, pressing bodies closer, grinding hips and drinking down moans as if they could give him life. Shinji's body arched, alive and hot beneath him, and he grabbed his cock, rubbing the head against Shinji's entrance before pressing it against it. His tongue teased Shinji's before he kissed back along his jaw, to his ear. As soon as his blunt teeth latched onto the top of Shinji's ear he pushed inside him as deep as he could, one long thrust drawing a deep groan from the smaller man that seemed to echo back at them. Slow, so very slow. Control was slipping already but he wouldn't give in. One more tug to Shinji's ear and he was back at his mouth, swallowing each one of Shinji's attempts as words. He knew what he was going to say, he'd heard just about everything the blond could ever say in these sorts of moments, and while they turned him on, he didn't want to stop kissing him. He'd waited so _fucking_ long to do this.

He moved, rocking his hips in and out, forward and backward. Shinji was so tight, so soft, so _hot_ inside. He broke the kiss and rested his forehead against Shinji's.

"Ah, fuck. Shinji…."

"Nnoi… God, please, Nnoi…."

He was kissing him again, hips moving just a bit faster, whines and groans louder and leaking passed sealed lips. Nnoitra got to his knees, taking Shinji's hips with him and he rolled his eyes closed as those long thin thighs wrapped around his waist. Strokes longer, deeper, he buried his face in Shinji's neck, licking, biting, panting.

"Ahhn-ah. Shi… Shinji."

A long fingered hand reached for Shinji's cock, gliding over the velvet skin and bringing a purring moan from the blond.

"What… what wouldja do? If I said it now?" he asked, begging himself not to cum just yet.

Shinji's eyes fluttered open and he swallowed. "Said what?"

Taking his face away from that tempting neck he pulled back enough to look Shinji in the eyes, never ceasing in his movement. Both eyes seemed to search for something before he spoke, his voice straight and rough when he finally did so. He couldn't look at him for long, and lowered his mouth to the one below him, lips barely touching.

"I love you."

Silk walls clamped around him like a vise and Shinji's entire body tensed before he let out a deep moan, his body shaking with his orgasm. Nnoitra stopped moving, bowing his back and going in as deep as he could as he too came.

"Oh… oh Godfuckshit." Shinji nearly screamed before Nnoitra was kissing him again.

All his mind could focus on as he came was that he had said it, again. And it still scared the shit out of him. Still made his chest flutter and his stomach jump just a bit. He couldn't think straight as Nnoitra slowly stopped moving, his kisses softening as he tried to catch his breath. Nnoitra wanted to grab Shinji, hold him tight and make sure he didn't freak out again and run. He couldn't have that again. He was pretty sure he'd do very stupid things if that happened to him twice with the same man.

Instead of running, he cried. He wasn't even sure if they were tears of joy, frustration, hope, or maybe even anger, though he wasn't sure who it would have been directed at, at that point. Nnoitra pulled back and shook his head, licking a tear as it fell down Shinji's cheek.

"I toldja ta stop doin' that." he said huskily.

Shinji sobbed out a giggle and pulled Nnoitra down for another deep kiss. Fuck everything, he thought to himself. Fuck the pain, the anger, the drugs, the sex, the worry, everything. Fuck it.

"I love you too." he said quietly into parted lips, his eyes squeezed tight shut and his body still tingling with what this man could do to him.

* * *

Grimmjow walked around the one story building, opening doors and covering every inch of the place with a critical eye. Tomoe, perched on his hip and gnawing gleefully on her own fist, gurgled and slapped him with a gooey hand before shrieking at him.

He sneered a bit and wiped at his face. "You like it too?"

Tomoe wigged in his arms and he barely dodged drool covered fingers from being shoved up his nose.

"Tomo, you do that again and I swear I'll do it back." he said in a low, slightly irritated voice.

"That's gross." Karin said from behind him, Taichi asleep in her arms.

"What?" he asked innocently; or at least as innocently as he could with a wide, shit-eating grin on his face.

"What's gross?" Yuzu asked as she too walked into the room.

"Nothing." Grimmjow said, turning back to the room and smiling. "Well, I think this might just do."

Yuzu smiled widely. "Oh goodie!" Sorin fussed and she handed him a teething ring, silencing him almost immediately.

"Ichi-nii will love it too. It's closer to the hospital _and_ the clinic. And the backyard is huge." Karin said, nodding to the window that showed a wonderfully overgrown garden.

"Yeah, once these guys can walk it'll be hell keepin' them inside." Grimmjow said, shifting Tomoe on his hip and sighing. "This is the one." he said with another wide smile.

He had been looking for some time for a home to raise his children in. Ichigo and he had been talking about it since before the kids were even born but hadn't done anything about it yet. Ichigo's schedule didn't leave him much room for house hunting. Grimmjow had finally given up and started looking on his own, knowing that the reality of the situation was that he was the only one with the money to buy a house anyway. Not that Ichigo didn't deserve a say.

The realtor cleared her throat and smiled at the three turned heads.

"Have we made a decision today, Mr. Jaegerjaques?" she asked hopefully. This was, after all, the twenty third house she had shown the man.

"Yes. I think we have. This one is perfect." he said, laughing when Tomoe put in her two cents in the form of another shriek. "She thinks so too apparently."

The realtor giggled, a part of her saddened that such a handsome man was already taken. It confused her as to which one of these young women was his wife though and even more confused when none of them seemed to be wearing a wedding ring. But, it wasn't her place to ask so she just smiled and handed Grimmjow a stack of paperwork.

"Fax me everything or bring it by my office as soon as you can. There are already a handful of bids on it."

"Fuck them." Grimmjow said, startling the small woman. "Tell me the highest bid so I can outbid 'em. I want this house." he wasn't about to let this one go.

By the time they left the house he was sure he'd get it. His credit was impeccable, he had offered over eight-hundred-fifty-thousand over the highest bid, and he had the cutest children ever. Part of him wasn't sure how that last part would help, but who cared. He was sure that he would be hearing from that realtor very soon.

* * *

A/N 'Bout fuckin' time I got this out huh? lol Sorry about the wait and I hope you all enjoy this chapter. More to come soon!

~Penny


	13. Plans

Plans

Grimmjow set Sorin on the bed next to a sleeping Ichigo and walked to the bathroom. Sure, Sorin was a boy, but it would be too weird to juggle a baby while trying not to piss all over the place. Sorin, sitting up on the bed and looking down at his sleeping daddy, decided it was a very good idea to smack him in the nose as hard as he could. Ichigo groaned and pushed his face into the pillow, lightly swatting at Sorin's hand, who had absolutely loved that reaction. Grimmjow returned to the bedroom in time to hear Ichigo grumble, "Knock it off, Sorin. Daddy's sleeping."

Grimmjow snorted. "How can you tell which one it is without opening yer eyes?" he asked.

"Because," Ichigo sighed. "Tai is quiet and gentle and Tomo screams at you when she hits. Sorin's all ninja about it…," he smirked and squinted his eyes at his son, "Sort of."

Grimmjow laughed and sat on the bed, scooting his slightly violent son away from Ichigo's face. Ichigo yawned and stretched, rolling over on his back before blinking his eyes all the way open to stare at the ceiling.

"Sleep good?" Grimmjow asked.

"Yeah. I didn't even hear you guys get up this morning. Or leave for that matter."

"Good. Leiko knocked over the fern by the couch when I stepped on his tail and I thought for sure you heard that. Stupid cat." he grumbled. The thing was always under his feet. It was almost as if he were asking to be stepped on.

"You're the one that just _had_ to keep all three of them." Ichigo teased.

It earned him a pillow to the face to which he laughed at. Grimmjow leaned over and kissed him sweetly, groaning a little and nipping at Ichigo's sleep warm lips. Sorin gurgled and slapped at Grimmjow's thigh but was largely ignored. He wanted to tell Ichigo so bad about the house but he also didn't want to give the surprise away too quickly. Especially if something happened and they didn't get it. Dark thoughts bubbled up in his mind of not so veiled threats to anyone who outbid him. He'd do it to; he really wanted that house.

"Where're Tai and Tomo?" Ichigo asked, trying to push Grimmjow away.

"Sleeping." he answered, looking down at Sorin and smiling. "Just like this little monster should be doing." He picked Sorin up and kissed his plump cheek. "Daddy wants to make out with the other daddy. Time for bed."

"Grimm!"

Grimmjow laughed and stood, propping Sorin on his hip. "What? You want me to _lie_ to our children?"

Ichigo blushed in answer, rolling over and hiding his face in the pillows. Grimmjow loved doing things like that to him. Too soon the kids would be old enough to know what they were talking about and he might just have to stop. Then again embarrassing both the kids _and _Ichigo was more than tempting. Ah, fatherhood was great.

* * *

Shinji's eyes fluttered open late the next morning and he yawned. It took a moment for him to remember the night before and he couldn't help the small smile on his face as he rolled over and cuddled close to Nnoitra's warm body. It was freezing in his room.

"You were talkin' in yer sleep again." Nnoitra said, his voice low and full of humor.

"How many times I gotta tell ya, I don't do that."

"Che, whatever. One'a these days I'mma really record it and prove ya the fuck wrong."

"Shut up." Shinji rubbed his hand over his face, slightly disgusted that he had a small amount of stubble. He usually only had to shave a few times a week with how slowly his facial and body hair grew and it just figured this was one of those days. He looked ridiculous with stubble; at least in his opinion.

He looked up at Nnoitra, noticing he seemed to be in the same state, and smiled. Unlike him, Nnoitra was sexy as hell with a light dusting of black stubble, and he reached up to run his fingers over it playfully. God, how he missed being close to this man.

"Let's have mornin' sex." Nnoitra grinned and Shinji rolled his eyes. Could he take back his earlier thought?

"I hafta go in ta work fer a bit taday so I need ta actually get up and shower and stuff."

"Fuck work. Go tomorrow." he said, leaning forward to bite at Shinji's exposed shoulder.

Shinji sighed. "I run my own business. I can't just not show up, baka."

"Yes ya can. Yer the boss right?"

"No, I can't. I've got a ton of stuff comin' up really soon and we were closed yesterday for my party. I hafta make sure orders have been put in. I need to call Z and make sure we can rent the club out for the Halloween bash I'm throwin'," he paused. He still needed to talk to Ichigo about some things involving that idea as well. "I gotta get up." he concluded, trying to sit up before Nnoitra knocked him back down on the bed and crouched over him.

"What the fuck'er ya doin'?" Shinji asked in exasperation.

"You ain't runnin' are ya?" Nnoitra asked quietly, a tiny bit of something he would never admit to being vulnerability in his voice.

"No. I'm goin' ta work." he replied just as quietly. This little moment reminded him that there was still so much to work out between them before things were even close to being back to normal.

He sat up and looked Nnoitra directly in the eyes, noticing that his bandana was still missing, and bit his lip in contemplation. "I c'n call ya when I'm all done. Ya know, if ya want." he said quietly.

They were silent a moment before Nnoitra grinned and broke it. "Maybe I'll come fuck ya in yer office again."

Shinji frowned. "You will not!"

"What? That was fuckin' hot and you know it." Teeth were on Shinji's neck before he could stop them and a long fingered hand was sliding down his side to his hip.

"_That_ is beside the point. I don't want ya doin' that anymore."

"Fine." Nnoitra conceded just as his finger brushed over Shinji's hole.

Shinji's body jerked and he tried to pull away, giving up halfway through when Nnoitra's finger was already all the way inside him, teasing him. It seemed seconds before that finger was replaced with something much larger; thicker and fire hot. Shinji arched his back and closed his eyes, happily resigned to the sweet pleasure that was already coursing through his veins. With one hand on Shinji's hip, Nnoitra balanced his weight on his elbow and began to move, hips snapping forward and toes curling when Shinji deliberately tightened around him as those beautiful long legs wrapped around his waist.

Nnoitra sucked hard on Shinji's neck and Shinji's teeth sank deep into his shoulder. A loud and slightly strangled moan from Shinji drowned out a hesitant and abruptly stalled knock on his bedroom door. Soon the only sounds in the room were the rhythmic slapping of hips, the harsh panting, and the occasional, "Nnoi… harder…." uttered in a lusty voice. Nnoitra groaned loudly when blunt nails scored down his back and he slammed particularly harshly into Shinji, stilling as the younger man spasmed around him and came. Nnoitra's eyes rolled closed when Shinji's teeth sank into his chest and he shuddered his release into him.

"Ya… ya little bitch. I'm bleedin'." He said with a wide grin when he was once again able to speak.

Shinji, still panting and not able to hold his eyes open for more than a moment, smirked. "Serves ya right." he giggled, shifting his hips so that Nnoitra's limp member slid from him slowly.

Nnoitra was just about to say something when there was another light tapping at Shinji's door.

"Uhm, Shin-chan. You're mother is here to see you." Tesla said tentatively from the other side and Shinji groaned quietly. Great, he could be pretty much certain the whole house had just heard that, his mother included.

"Get off me asshole. I gotta shower before I see her."

"Ah fuck. Yer mom heard that." Nnoitra snickered, earning him a slap to his chest. "Hey, you two're close right?"

"Oh fuck you!"

"Not yet, Blondie. Gimmie a couple minutes." he grinned, licking the side of Shinji's neck and chuckling when he shivered.

Shinji finally managed to get away from Nnoitra long enough to slip into his robe and trot down the hall to the bathroom. Nnoitra, only bothering to pull on his pants and eye patch, left the room to hunt down where the good smells were coming from. He didn't care if there were people there, or if his presence would be found as odd, it smelled too appetizing to sit and wait in Shinji's room for the shower to be free. He wasn't leaving without one of those. So, opening the bedroom door, he walked down the short hallway to the living room, two sets of eyes on him instantly.

"Nnoitra-sama, you're bleeding." Tesla said in a concerned tone.

"I ain't dyin' stupid." Nnoitra shot back, ignoring the smirk from Etta, who was sitting comfortably on the couch.

"But…."

"Shut up and gimmie some'a that food."

Tesla, always one to obey, instantly made Nnoitra a plate of food, even serving him at the small dinning table. Etta smirked and looked over the back of the couch at him, giving him a once over look before speaking.

"So you an' my son all good now?" she asked, her eyebrows raising at the question.

Nnoitra didn't really know what to think about this woman, never had. She was basically a female version of Shinji, blunt and vulgar at times, two traits he loved, but she was female… and he usually hated women. All women.

"Yeah." He said shortly before piling more food into his mouth. He was sure Shinji would gush about it later so he didn't feel the need to elaborate.

That seemed to appease her for the moment and Tesla seemed too stunned to say anything else so he was able to finish his food in silence. Luckily Shinji was done with his shower quickly and he came rushing out of the bathroom as if he expected to find the house on fire. He blinked at a shirtless Nnoitra and frowned.

"The hell you doin'?" he asked, cocking a hip and trying to ignore the looks from his mother and Tesla.

"The fuck's it look like? I was eatin'." Nnoitra countered.

"Without a shirt?"

"Duh."

Shinji rolled his eyes and watched as Nnoitra approached him, wondering why he felt slightly nervous. Nnoitra reached out and crooked a finger under Shinji's chin, lifting his head a bit before grinning widely. Shinji gulped. God, that grin was too fucking sexy.

"I wanna shower. There enough hot water fer me?"

"Y-yeah. Should be."

"Good."

Before Shinji could stop him Nnoitra kissed him. Not a light pressing of lips, no that would be too much to ask for from that man while others were watching. Nnoitra bit Shinji's bottom lip harshly, making Shinji whine pathetically, before sucking it into his mouth. Not missing a beat, Nnoitra gripped Shinji's chin tightly as his long tongue slipped inside his mouth, pulling at his bottom lip with his thumb and growling quietly when Shinji moaned a little too loudly. In that moment Shinji forgot they had an audience and if Nnoitra remembered he didn't seem to give a flying fuck. He pulled back, almost laughing when Shinji tried to follow him, and grinned once more before letting go of Shinji's narrow chin and walking to the bathroom with a swagger in his step.

Shinji reached up and touched his bottom lip with his index finger, a tiny smile tilting his lips before he remembered he wasn't alone. He cleared his throat and turned to his mother.

"What?" he asked when he noticed her smile.

Etta stood up and walked over to her son, wrapping her arms tight around him in a hug.

"Oh, Shin-chan. Baby, I'm so happy for ya."

Shinji sighed and let the smile stretch across his face, hugging her back and burying his face in the crook of her neck. He really didn't know what to say at that moment, he was still feeling so conflicted about everything. He was happy, but that happiness scared him. Too many "what if's" were raging in his mind and no matter how hard he tried to stamp them down and just feel good about everything, they wouldn't go completely away. He couldn't stop the feeling that this wasn't going to last.

Etta pulled back and kissed his cheek before swatting his backside and grinning. "Well since ya ain't dead, er he ain't dead, I'mma head back home. Love ya Shin-chan."

Shinji smirked. "Love ya too okaachan."

The moment alone with Tesla was strained and awkward. Tesla couldn't quite meet his eyes and Shinji had to wonder if the man still had feelings for Nnoitra. When said man finally came out of the bathroom, hair still dripping wet and clothing still only half on Shinji frowned. Tesla's big puppy dog eyes saw nothing but Nnoitra and Shinji was suddenly assaulted by images from the past.

Shortly after the near confession of feelings that one long weekend he and Nnoitra had spent at his mother's house, Nnoitra made it very clear to anyone who even looked like they would wonder about it that Shinji was his and no one was allowed to touch him. It had pissed Shinji off and made that weird gooey fuzzy feeling in his belly start up again. The feeling that made him never quite sure if he wanted to throw up or grin like an idiot. It wasn't that he had never established his apparent "ownership" before then, Nnoitra was just being far more vocal about it.

Tesla had been becoming increasingly closer with Shinji and the two often hung out after work, much to Nnoitra's displeasure. One night while Shinji was finishing up some paper work in the back office Tesla had confessed his undying love to Nnoitra. What should have been a rather pathetic and laughable moment turned into something that might have ruined their friendship forever. Tesla, who had later admitted to Shinji that he had taken something to help loosen up after work, walked right up to Nnoitra after his spoken words of love and cupped his crotch before pushing up on his tip toes and smashing their lips together. Nnoitra had been surprised to say the least but he hadn't pushed the younger man away. When Shinji walked back to the front of the club he stopped dead at what he saw. Nnoitra looked at him and grinned, pushing Tesla off him in an overly violent move, sending the smaller man to the floor as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Stupid faggot. I toldja not ta touch me or I'd break off that skinny little prick 'a yers and toss it to a pack a dogs."

Tesla had been mortified and run crying from the room and Shinji had just stared. He felt bad for Tesla, Nnoitra was too harsh at times, but a part of him was happy. Maybe the idiot would finally get it. Tesla had disappeared for two weeks after that but when he came back with apologies Shinji had caved. He just couldn't be mad at that pathetic face.

"You need a ride?" Shinji asked, breaking the tense silence that had filled his living room.

Nnoitra snorted. "Naw. I gotta go do some shit later. I'll walk."

Shinji grabbed his jacket and looked at Tesla over his shoulder as he was leaving. "You comin' in tanight?" he asked, snapping the man out of whatever thoughts he had been in.

Tesla smiled. "Yes, Shin-chan. I'll be in by the time my shift starts."

Shinji smiled and looked over at a still half dressed Nnoitra. "Uhm…."

Nnoitra grinned and crossed his arms over his chest. "The fuck you doin'? Thought ya had ta go do shit?"

Shinji rolled his eyes and zipped his jacket, grabbing his keys out of a little basket by the front door. "Fine. See ya later." he grumbled before yanking to door open and leaving.

Nnoitra turned and left the room, completely ignoring the other man. Tesla sighed deeply and closed his eyes, wondering not for the first time why he seemed to head over heels for someone who seemed to hate him.

* * *

"Mr. Jiruga, if you will please take a seat Mr. Aizen will be with you shortly."

Nnoitra sneered down at the young woman as he threw himself in the uncomfortable leather chair. He hated this stupid office building but he knew better than to avoid a summons from the big boss. He may not like being bossed around like this but sometimes he knew when to suck it up and deal with it and when to rant about it. This was one of the former times.

As soon as he was shown into the room his eyes darted to the still figure sitting in one of the chairs in front of Aizen's desk and he was barely able to repress his urge to cruse and sneer. Lord how he hated that little man with his large green emotionless eyes and his pale expressionless face. If he didn't know first hand how bloodthirsty and precise a killer this young man could be he would have said something. Instead he sat heavily in the chair opposite him and rested his arms on the armrests.

"So good of you to join me today, Nnoitra." Aizen said in a slow drawl, setting a cup of tea on a coaster in front of him. "I assume you know why you're here?"

"Not really. I already toldja everythin' I know." Nnoitra shrugged.

"I've had to go through a lot of clean up after what happened, most of which is rather tedious." Nnoitra almost snorted. Right, like this man had actually had to lift a finger for anything. "Need I remind you that the integrity of business is at stake when people who may be associated with me make such glaring mistakes?"

"Tch, look, if you'da let me do things my way back then we wouldn't be in this shit right now."

The young man next to him tensed but remained seated and quiet.

"If I had let you 'do things your way', as you say, it would be a bigger mess than I have the patience to clean up." Aizen could smile all he wanted but his face still screamed, "Shut the fuck up you ignorant asshole or I will rip your head off and force you to watch me dance in your blood." There was always a look in his eyes that told Nnoitra he had perhaps stepped a little too far over the line.

"I did my job. Ya got those kids back. So what the fuck?"

"You will refrian from cursing in this room." the small man beside him said quietly and Nnoitra turned a sneer on him.

"Make me."

"Ulquiorra." Aizen said in a warning tone and Ulquiorra stilled, returning his attention to focus solely on his master.

"The fact that you have completed the task is not the issue here, Nnoitra. The problems you have caused while in the process of completion are. Longwei is an annoyance I did not wish to deal with but now must." Brown eyes looked up then and connected with a violet one. "It is quite vexing."

"Well if ya'd let me shoot 'im…."

"This issue would be compounded." he raised his hand for silence. "That isn't why I brought you here. Longwei is being rather difficult and refuses to meet with me to negotiate properly. I shall give you a chance to redeem yourself by locating the man and bringing him to me. You will keep the violence to a minimum, is that clear, Nnoitra?"

Nnoitra continued to sneer his distaste but nodded.

"And please, try not to take your time on this task. I would like it to be done with this as soon as possible."

Once Nnoitra was gone Aizen sighed and turned to look out his large office window overlooking downtown Tokyo. Things had gotten irritatingly complicated over what should have been a simple matter.

"You don't trust him do you, Ulquiorra?" he asked, a small smile on his face.

"No, I do not." Ulquiorra replied simply.

"Do you think he needs another set of eyes on him to ensure he does things properly?"

"I believe that it would be best to take him off of the case completely but it is not my place to make such decisions. I trust in you and will follow your orders for me."

Aizen continued to smile out the window, not bothering to respond to the young man. It wasn't that he didn't value his opinion but he wasn't going to take what he said to heart. He had a way of doing things and no matter what others said they would get done to his liking. One way or another.

* * *

Sorin was happily entertaining himself in the play area, ignoring his father's while the sat and talked quietly on the couch. Taichi and Tomoe were still sleeping in the other room and Grimmjow was feeling rather frisky. Still. Ichigo was saying something about a Halloween party, Grimmjow wasn't really listening, when a tongue flicked against his ear lobe. He jerked away and looked at Grimmjow's grinning face with a frown.

"What are you doing?" he asked with wide eyes.

"I'm going to push you down into these cushions and kiss you." he replied plainly before leaning forward to do just that.

"Sorin is in the room, Grimm." Ichigo pointed out in a near whining tone of voice.

"So? He's not even looking at us. And unless you keep makin' all kinds of noise it'll stay that way."

Ichigo was already practically laid out beneath Grimmjow at this point and when that mouth was suddenly covering his in a possessive kiss he found himself quite unable to resist. Their tongues danced together as Grimmjow shifted his body and pressed a lean thigh between Ichigo's legs, spreading them just enough so that he could grind against his hips. Ichigo gasped quietly and fought the urge to tilt up into the body above him. He had to keep reminding himself that Sorin was in the room. That if he got bored with whatever it was he was doing he would see them. But when Grimmjow started sucking on that sensitive bit of skin behind his ear nothing seemed to matter anymore. He sucked in a breath and let his eyes close, hands reaching up to fist in the back on Grimmjow's t-shirt. Grimmjow groaned quietly pressed down with his hips, one of his hands curling around Ichigo's hip and pulling him closer.

Ichigo's body jerked when Tomoe's cries were suddenly heard from the bedroom and Grimmjow dropped his forehead to Ichigo's shoulder.

"I swear she knows when I wanna get freaky with you." he grumbled and Ichigo shook his head, pushing Grimmjow off him.

"Shut up and go get her."

Grimmjow let out a dramatic sigh and stood up. "I'm going to fuck you later." he declared before leaving the room and a blushing Ichigo.

The phone rang and Ichigo rolled his eyes when he heard Taichi start to cry as well. So much for the quiet.

"Ichi, when do ya got free time this week? I need ta go over shit about the Halloween party." Shinji said without so much as a hello.

"I have Tuesday morning free, that's about it." He was quiet a moment before walking into the kitchen. "Shin, are you okay? I mean, last I saw you…."

"I'm fine Ichi. Really. I'll tell ya all about it Tuesday, okay? I promise." Shinji's voice was bright, happy even, and Ichigo let himself take a deep cleansing breath. Whatever had happened he hadn't heard Shinji sound quite like that in too long.

"Alright. I'll see ya Tuesday then."

He returned to the living room and picked up Sorin, taking him in the back room to change him and help Grimmjow out with the other two. He was still tired and felt that he was missing out on too much of his family life and friends, but he would do his best to pull through it all. He hadn't spent so much of his time working so hard to give up now. He kissed Grimmjow's cheek and picked up the boys taking both of them out to the living room and setting them in their play area. He needed to make them a meal and start preparing dinner for Grimmjow and him later. Pushing everything else out of his mind he set to work, a small and content smile on his face.

* * *

A/N YAY! Another chapter :D I'm not sure if I'm completely happy with this one but it's probably just me again so I'm posting it anyway :D I'm hoping to get one more out this week if I can and shall do my best, but right now I'm gong to go rest my horribly aching back and zone out on America's Next Top Model reruns. Yes, I love that show. ;p

Hope you enjoy it~!

~Penny

**Oh yes! I almost forgot again. I want to thank The Petulant Prodigy once again for featuring Mistress Penelopye in her fic 'Bands & Berries' :D Mistress is pleased and eager for more. THANK YOU *GLOMP***


	14. Cars

Cars

Shinji stretched in the old creaky chair behind his desk and yawned widely. He hadn't gotten much sleep in the past couple days, what with working late the night before his birthday party and then the long and emotionally, not to mention physically, draining night with Nnoitra. The only thing he could think of at the moment was going home and falling face first into his bed. He just hoped that he wouldn't pass out while driving and end up killing himself. Standing and grabbing his light coat from the back of his chair, he yawned and walked to the door to his office, shutting off the light and locking up.

"Long day, eh boss?" Lisa said from behind the bar as he passed and he nodded and waved sleepily at her. "See ya tomorrow?"

"Yeah. I'll be in about ten I think." he replied before opening the front door and sighing as a shock of cool but not yet cold air hit him square in the face. It was so refreshing.

As soon as he entered the covered parking lot where his car was parked he looked up and his breath stilled mid-inhale. Nnoitra was leaned against the driver's side door, legs crossed at the ankles, half burned cigarette dangling loosely between his teeth. His hands were shoved deep in the pockets of his loose dark jeans and a tight black leather jacket was open to show a plain white t-shirt. Shinji stopped, his mouth dropping open slightly at the near perfect bad boy image Nnoitra was portraying. Scratch that, absolutely perfect. When Nnoitra noticed the blond his wide sneering grin stretched across his face, the cigarette twitching a little when it was clenched tighter between his teeth. He closed his lips around the butt and sucked hard, the tip glowing brightly before blackening as he let the bluish smoke curl dragon-like from his nostrils. He reached up slowly and pulled the cigarette away.

"Yo." his voice almost growled the word and Shinji felt something quiver in his belly.

"W-what're ya doin' here?" he asked breathily.

Nnoitra, still grinning, flicked the cigarette away without breaking eye contact and licked his lips indolently. "Waitin' fer ya." he practically purred.

Shinji blinked, reeling a bit from the image. "How long ya been waitin'?" he asked, not sure why the man hadn't called or hadn't barged into his office anyway.

Nnoitra shrugged and curled a long beckoning finger out to Shinji. Shinji felt his body moving and he was suddenly standing directly in front of the tall, laid back man. Nnoitra reached out and ran his thumb over Shinji's high cheekbone before curling his fingers behind his neck. He leaned forward, pleased when Shinji's eyes drooped closed and his mouth opened in anticipation.

"My place'er yers?" he asked, his voice deep and mesmerizing.

Shinji struggled with words and felt stupid and melty for his inability to respond to such a simple demanding question. All he could manage was a breathy, "Uh…." before licking his lips and willing himself not to jump the man in the public parking garage. It'd been far too long since he had felt like that but he wasn't sure if it should make him happy and giddy, or piss him off. The sick swirl of too many emotions had been with him most of the day and he had thought he was starting to get used to it but when that happiness began to fight the sickness, the nervousness, the fear, his fight or flight reflex seemed to stick between the two and he was left blushing, confused and stuttering like a moron.

Nnoitra reached down with one hand and cupped Shinji's ass, kneading his fingers slowly into the firm muscle; the tips tickling their way between thin thighs. He grinned at Shinji's sharp intake of breath and brushed his lips gently against the full pair in front of him. He had really missed how responsive Shinji was to him.

"I-I'm tired." Shinji finally managed, leaning forward a bit as more pressure was applied to his ass.

"So?" Nnoitra continued in his low, almost rough voice.

"I need sleep Nnoi." his voice had dropped to a near whisper and his hips titled towards Nnoitra's.

Nnoitra moved his head and licked at the corner of Shinji's mouth. "Mhmm. Kiss me."

Shinji made a noise in the back of his throat and licked his lips. "Make me."

The challenge was taken instantly and Nnoitra closed the last few centimeters between them, slanting his lips over the pair below him. Shinji leaned up into the kiss, the tips of his toes the only thing left touching the ground. Nnoitra held him in place with one hand cupping his ass, and pulled Shinji's body flush with his, delighted when he felt Shinji's hands on his chest, fisting in his shirt. Nnoitra sucked on Shinji's bottom lip before shoving his tongue in an eager mouth, curling and caressing it's partner. Shinji had just started to lift one of his legs, his inner thigh brushing against the top of Nnoitra's, when a throat was cleared behind them.

"See you tomorrow boss." A hard feminine voice called out, no small amount of humor in it.

Shinji pulled away and cleared his throat, taking a deep breath before doing his best to address his employee from within the confines of Nnoitra's grasp.

"G'night, Lisa."

She smirked and waved over her shoulder at the pair as she strode away to her vehicle and Shinji sighed when she was out of earshot.

"I really am tired, Nnoi." he started, looking up at the man who held him tight.

"That's why I said my place'er yers." Nnoitra reminded impatiently. He was a little tired himself but that wasn't going to stop him from fucking Shinji before he passed out for the night. Besides, it was still relatively early yet.

Shinji let out an exasperated sigh and struggled the rest of the way out of Nnoitra's arms.

"My bed is more comfortable." he mumbled before reaching in his pocket for his keys.

Conflict of emotions seemed to be a running theme in his life lately and he was just too tired to deal with any of them right then. It wasn't that he didn't want to spend time with Nnoitra, far from it actually he was quite pleased to see the man, but everything else he brought about whenever they saw each other was just too much. Shinji shut it all down instead of try and deal with it. He was sure Kisuke would have more than a few things to say about that very bad habit they had been trying to expunge from his personality, but he didn't have to see him for a couple days so he'd deal with that when he absolutely needed to.

Nnoitra grinned and walked swiftly to the other side of the car, yanking open the door as soon as it was unlocked and practically throwing himself inside. Shinji rolled his eyes and stuck the key in the ignition, but wasn't allowed to get any further than that. Nnoitra leaned over and quickly caught his lips in another kiss, this time immediately deepening it and causing the smaller man to groan in surprise. Pale hands rose and fingers linked behind Nnoitra's neck as Shinji arched his body out of his seat and kissed back. Nnoitra's hands were everywhere. Shinji shoulders, his back, his chest, his belly, his hips, never ceasing movement and seemingly on a mission to just _feel_. Shinji gasped, legs parting and body shifting to give better access, as Nnoitra's long fingered hand cupped him through his slacks.

"Nnoi…!" Shinji tired to pull away but stopped at the blunt teeth that were suddenly latched to his ear.

"I ain't done yet." Nnoitra growled before letting go and running his tongue along the edge of Shinji's jaw line.

Shinji's head fell back and hit the window, his protest fizzling away as his brain and body heated. When Nnoitra's cold hand slid under Shinji's sweater he sucked in a breath and closed his eyes. Nnoitra was reaching for something, doing his best not to stop touching the blond as he did so. When finally his hand found the little lever he grinned and yanked on it, pushing on the headrest of the driver's seat as the chair slid back abruptly. Shinji jerked away from him and looked up questioningly. Nnoitra grinned.

"Wrong lever." he said before returning to Shinji's mouth.

At least now they had a bit more room, he thought as he pulled at Shinji's belt. The zipper was yanked open in Nnoitra's haste, not that he cared, and he shifted his weight to reach inside the now loosened slacks. He swallowed Shinji's gasp as his fingers closed around his hardened member and slowly began to slide over him. He'd wanted to do this for so long, ever since his first car ride with the blond after the alley fight. He didn't really care if it was just a jerk session, as long as he got the both of them off before they went back to Shinji's place. He couldn't be assed to care about anything else at the moment.

Shinji moved in the seat again, lifting one of his legs and stretching it out on the other side of Nnoitra's, up against the back of the passenger seat. His other leg dropped heavily to the floor as he shifted his hips and tried to make himself a little more comfortable. He pulled at Nnoitra's hair when teeth pulled at his tongue and shuddered out a sigh when the tip of Nnoitra's pointer finger pressed against the head of his cock. Finally he let go of black locks and reached for Nnoitra's belt, making quick work of the cheap leather and metal buckle. With a flick of his wrist the button fly jeans were opened and he was free to reach in and grab his prize. Not skipping a beat, he did just that; Nnoitra seemed to still only rarely wear underwear.

"A-ah, shit." Nnoitra grit out teeth sinking briefly into Shinji's chin.

His knee was digging into the center console but Shinji's fingers made him overlook the annoying pain. They feathered touches along his shaft and he found himself pausing in his actions to just feel what was being done to him. It tickled almost, at least until Shinji pressed the palm of his hand to the tip and spread the precum over it. His own fingers squeezed gently before he turned his wrist and began to reach even further inside Shinji's pants. He cupped Shinji's testicles and massaged them for a moment before lifting them as much as he could and searching for Shinji's entrance.

Shinji's hips bucked and he moaned as he pressed the pad of his thumb at the underside of the base of Nnoitra's cock. Nnoitra's mouth was back on his and he couldn't breathe but nothing mattered anymore. Not that he had until that point been so tired he hadn't been sure he'd make it home alive. Not that it was still light outside and they were parked in a public garage. Not that very soon other workers would be coming out to their own cars to go home after a long day at work. All he wanted or cared about at that moment was having Nnoitra never stop what he was doing. When a single long digit pierced him he cried out loud enough to be heard outside the car. He gripped Nnoitra's cock and pulled, making the larger man looming over him lose his balance and hit his head on the window.

Nnoitra grunted and Shinji whined. "Sorry."

"This ain't gonna work like this." Nnoitra grumbled, letting go of Shinji's cock in favor on supporting himself on his hip bone.

Shinji sighed irritably and pushed him back into his seat. Nnoitra wasn't given time to complain because Shinji moved with him, lithely maneuvering his legs to straddle Nnoitra's lap. He reached for the side of the seat and pulled, the two falling backwards with a jerk as the seat was lowered abruptly. Nnoitra smiled and pulled Shinji down for another kiss, sliding his hand in the back of Shinji's pants and going directly for his hole once more. Shinji's back arched and he steadied himself with his elbow on the side of the seat next to Nnoitra's free arm as he reached for both of their erections. He wrapped his smooth fingers around them and began to stroke, eliciting a deep, lip biting moan from the man beneath him.

"Yer pretty good at foolin' 'round in a car." he commented and Shinji snorted, burying his face in Nnoitra's neck as he rocked his hips against him.

"Ya ain't the only person I ever slept with ya know. Ain't like I never done this b'fore."

Nnoitra hissed between his teeth and his eye rolled closed when Shinji's hand twisted just a little too rough around the heads of their cocks.

"Yeah well, y'ain't gonna be fuckin' no one else." he grunted, trying to keep the threads of his thoughts together as Shinji rubbed the head of his own dick along the underside of his.

"J-just shut up." Shinji whispered and bucked his hips back into the finger… now fingers invading him.

Nnoitra grinned. "Then ride me bitch."

Shinji pulled back and looked down at him, his eyes almost drugged with lust and his breathing heavy. "But…."

'Ya said y've done this before, right? Show me how talented y'are."

"Tch."

Bait taken, Shinji sat back and twisted his upper body, reaching behind him and opening the glove compartment, pulling something out before turning back to Nnoitra. He held the item, a gold packaged condom, between his pointer and middle fingers and smirked.

"This is all I got fer lube."

"Boy scout."

Shinji rolled his eyes. "I'm just a conscientious gay man's all." he said, ripping the package open with his teeth and, grabbing Nnoitra's cock in one hand, began to slide the condom over him with the other.

It wasn't big enough but they made do, Shinji finally satisfied with his work that he began to wiggle further up into Nnoitra's lap. Nnoitra pulled his hand away from Shinji's ass, grabbing his hips as Shinji pulled his slacks down to expose himself just as much as he needed to. He awkwardly reached behind him and grabbed ahold of the thick member, angling it to his entrance and sitting back slowly. It was a bit of a tight fit at first, the angle affording much more friction that either man was particularly used to, but when Shinji yet again shifted his body and rolled his hips forward both men groaned.

"Fuck, we shouldn't be doin' this." Shinji half muttered as he sat up as best he could, his head angled to the side and one hand reaching for what Ichigo had often referred to as the "Oh shit" handle.

Nnoitra blinked his eye open and sneered a grin at him. "Yer so fuckin' hot when ya do illegal things." he teased.

"F… ah-fuck you." Shinji retorted lamely.

Nnoitra bucked his hips, almost laughing when Shinji's head connected with the roof of the car with a dull thud. "I'm tryin'."

He pulled Shinji's hips forward and pushed him back, pleased when Shinji did his own part by rocking, swiveling, and lifting his hips as well. With his free hand, Shinji reached out to the other chair and gripped the headrest tightly, his eyes screwed shut and his breathing coming out in panting gasps. His cheeks were flushed pink and his bottom lip was held firmly between his teeth.

"Nnng-ah. Nnoi… sh-shit. Ung-ah."

"Fuck yeah."

Nnoitra let go of Shinji's hips and grabbed his head, pulling him down for a rough kiss. Shinji let go of his hand holds and rested his weight on his elbows near Nnoitra. Large hands slid down Shinji's back and Nnoitra shifted his hips, bending his legs. Finally, long fingers curled around narrow hips and Nnoitra bucked as best and as hard as he could up into Shinji. Shinji's hands pulled at the leather jacket Nnoitra was still wearing and he pulled just barely out of the kiss.

"Uhn-oh… fffuh. Ye-… ye-… ffffnnnn-ah."

"Yeah, moan pretty fer me Blondie." Nnoitra purred against Shinji's lips.

"Ahhn. Sh-shut up… and fu-fuck me hard- harder. Uhnn-ah God. Nnoi. Fuc-ungh."

Nnoitra moved his hands further back on Shinji's ass and grabbed his cheeks, spreading and lifting as he did so. Holding Shinji in place Nnoitra slammed his hips upwards, forcing all of himself as deep as he could go. Instead of the scream he was expecting he heard a muffled cry and realized Shinji's big pearly teeth were latched onto the collar of his leather jacket. A brief thought crossed his mind that maybe it was a good idea to always have a gag when they were together, just in case, but all that melted when they found as hard and fast a rhythm as they could. Nnoitra slid easily in and out of the blond, his own eye closed against the overwhelming pleasure everything was bringing him. It wasn't long before he knew that he wouldn't be able to hold out much longer and he turned his head, pressing his cheek into the side of Shinji's who was still gnawing at the leather.

"Ready?" he asked in a pant.

All Shinji could offer was a weak nod as he shifted and reached for his own cock. It was over too fast, a few quick pumps of Shinji's cock and he spasmed tight around Nnoitra, milking an orgasm from the larger man as he rode out his own. Shinji's body melted into Nnoitra's, his teeth finally unlatching from leather and spread feather light kisses over the pounding pulse in Nnoitra's neck. After a moment Nnoitra chuckled and kissed the side of Shinji's head.

"Shit, I was just gonna jerk you off." he teased, laughing a little when Shinji snorted.

He wasn't given the time to retort though when there was a sharp tapping at the driver's side window. Shinji stiffened and looked over with wide eyes to see a not so pleased police man staring inside the car. Eyes widened and mouth dropped open, the only action at first, before Shinji moved.

"Fuck." Shinji pulled away from Nnoitra and started to pull up his pants.

It was then that Nnoitra saw the cop and instantly his defenses were up. He didn't do well with law enforcement, never had, and he wasn't exactly sure if he had anything outstanding waiting for him. A slow boil of panic was bubbling up in his stomach, burning off the edges of pleasure and sitting heavy. Panic was quickly replaced with anger. Anger, he could deal with; panic scared the shit out of Nnoitra. "The fuck you gonna do?" he asked quietly, trying to calm himself. He didn't like jail. Not one fucking bit.

"I'm gonna to go talk us out of goin' to prison, asshole."

"This ain't exactly my first offense ya know." Nnoitra unnecessarily reminded Shinji.

"Shut up and let me do what I gotta do."

With that Shinji zipped up his pants and opened the passenger door, reaching for something in the center console before smoothing down his hair a bit and standing to adjust his clothes. Nnoitra pulled the condom off and rearranged himself before righting the chair and looking back out the window from a slumped position. As Nnoitra watched, the door having been slammed in his face so he wasn't able to hear much of anything, Shinji bowed deeply and began, or so Nnoitra figured, to apologize. The police officer spoke and Shinji's upper body rose, his back stiff. He could only see the officer's face and could tell that Shinji was the one doing the talking because of the expression there. Suddenly Shinji's body language changed subtly and the eyes in front of him widened marginally. Nnoitra frowned. He was sure things weren't taking as long as they seemed to be, and it was hell just _waiting_ around for someone else to all the work, but it seemed hours had passed.

And then the officer laughed. Nnoitra looked up sharply and watched Shinji flip some of his hair back over his shoulder before bending to write something on a slip of paper. Once finished he handed the paper, which looked like a business card, and the pen he had used back to the officer and bowed low once more. The officer smiled and they parted ways, Shinji slowly back to the car and the officer slowly off to finish his shift. Shinji opened the door casually and slipped inside, mechanically buckling and turning the vehicle on. He ignored Nnoitra's frowning confusion as he drove out of the parking garage and started off in the direction of his home.

"The fuck was that?" Nnoitra suddenly shouted, not really certain why he was shouting.

"Ya think I haven't ever had to talk my way outta things before?" Shinji asked incredulously, keeping his eyes on the road.

"The fuck'd ya say ta get outta that?" In all actuality Nnoitra was impressed. Sure he was irritated that it had happened, irritated that he had just sat back and watched from the sidelines, and irritated that Shinji seemed rather calm about everything. But he was definitely impressed.

"Ain't exactly like it's my first offense either." Shinji mumbled quietly and Nnoitra's eye widened.

"You been ta_ jail_?"

Shinji smirked and slowed for a red light. "I told you about that Nnoi."

Nnoitra shook his head. "Nuh-uh."

After a deep sigh Shinji reminded Nnoitra of one of his ex-boyfriends, a story he knew for a fact he had told the older man. The one that had gotten off on making Shinji strip and tying him up only to leave him helpless in a public bathroom. He'd been seventeen at the time and was so sure that he had been in love. That's why he'd done it, or let it be done rather. Shaking himself out of the memory he sighed.

"Anyway, I got more than one indecent exposure charge on my record and I don't know how many I've been able ta talk myself outt'a but I know fer sure the next one I go to jail. Fuck that shit."

Nnoitra smirked and shook his head. "The fuck you say ta him to make him leave?"

Shinji sighed. "Thirty nights free at the club, tips not included, and one bottle of champagne each night to a table of his choice. May not sound like much but… it's more than a cop could ever afford." It was his turn to smirk as they turned a corner. "Yumi is gonna kill me."

* * *

"Remember Tatsuki?" Ichigo asked as he helped Shinji clean up the abandoned club.

"The lesbian?" Shinji asked, upending a dust pan into a trash can.

It was Tuesday morning and Ichigo had agreed to meet Shinji at the old club to help with cleanup and just hang out for a few hours. They didn't get to do this often enough anymore, what with their schedules being so different, and it was nice to be able just to be with his friend. Shinji still hadn't told him every detail of what was planned for the big bash he was planning for Halloween, but since they were fixing up _Wank_ he thought he had a rather good idea about it. He wasn't sure if it was a good feeling or a bad one though.

"She's not a lesbian."

Shinji snorted. "Oh, yes she is. Ya don't remember that really big titted girl she used to hang around all the time? Ya know, the overly happy and kinda stupid one?"

"Whatever. Anyway, I ran into her at the hospital yesterday."

Actually what had really happened was she had attacked him, throwing a hard punch to his shoulder that had left his arm feeling numb for at least fifteen minutes.

"Ichigo Kurosaki!" That had been his only warning before hand and he had grabbed his arm, trying desperately not to cry out at the sudden pain. They didn't need even more noise in the emergency room that day.

"T-tatsuki?"

"Where the hell have you been? We graduate and you disappear off the face of the earth? What the hell?"

He hadn't seen Tatsuki since graduation and felt a stab of regret at that. She had gone off for some fighting thing and he had moved out and started working at the club. If he were honest he would have to admit that he had sort of forgotten about her in all the chaos that followed high school. It made him feel like a total asshole. She seemed to be in a hurry and Ichigo himself had more rounds to make, so they exchanged cards and agreed to meet Wednesday for lunch.

"Oh that's gonna cause problems." Shinji said as he moved a heavy wooden table out of his way.

"What are you talking about?" he asked with a scowl.

"Ya think yer man is just gonna sit back and not say _any_thing about ya basically havin' a date?"

Ichigo rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. "Don't be stupid. Grimmjow is more mature than that." Even he could sense the doubt in his voice. He hadn't really thought about how Grimmjow would react to the idea of him meeting a woman for lunch. _He_ may think nothing of it, but Grimmjow was another story completely.

"Whatever." he grumbled before setting back to work. "Okay your turn. What the hell is going on with you? What happened with Nnoitra?"

Shinji turned away just in time to hide his blush and cleared his throat. "We decided to try again." he said plainly.

"Why?" Ichigo asked incredulously. "After everything that happened you're just gonna take him back like that?"

Shinji sighed. "Well, it's a bit more complicated than that. Basically, it's my fault that he left."

"Don't start that shit again, Shin!" Ichigo suddenly roared. He'd watched Shinji tear himself up over that too many times to let him do it again. "And if he…."

"Let me finish baka!" They were both silent a moment before he continued. "So long story short, Nnoi told me he loved me and I freaked out and left the house. He thought it was rejection and took a job for his boss. That's why he left."

That had been easier to say than he thought it would be, but it still left a heavy dead feeling in his chest to admit to it. Ichigo just stared at him for a moment before dropping his shoulders and walking over to his friend. He pulled Shinji close for a tight, manly hug, that went soft almost as soon as it started. Shinji rested his head on Ichigo's shoulder and sighed.

"Idiot." Ichigo muttered and Shinji snorted, a small smile creeping to his lips.

"Yeah." He agreed.

They stayed like that a moment before Ichigo finally pulled away and cleared his throat.

"So you find out what happened to him yet?" he asked to distract from the earlier conversation.

Shinji shook his head. "There really hasn't been too much time for talk since we…. No. We haven't talked much." his grin was wide and Ichigo didn't have to see it to know it was there.

"Aren't you curious?"

"Hell yeah I'm curious. But if it were gonna be an easy story Nnoi'd'a told me about it by now. Ya know how he loves his stories." Ichigo snorted and Shinji continued. "I'mma hafta ease inta this one."

"Yeah well when you two quit fucking like animals it might be a good idea to _talk_." he shook his head and looked up at Shinji, his brown eyes full of concern. "Shin, you sure about this?"

Shinji smiled. "As sure as I ever am." he replied quietly, pushing back that dread and panic as it tried to take him over yet again.

Ichigo slapped Shinji's arm and smirked. "That isn't exactly refreshing."

They stared at each other a moment before laughing and getting back to work. The club hadn't been sitting long but it was still very dirty. Neither man was sure yet just how to feel about everything that was going on in their lives at the moment. Ichigo was worried for his friend, still uncertain about where he wanted to take his career, worried about Grimmjow's job and whether he would go back to the office any time soon. Worried then about what was going to happen with the kids. His list could go on forever. Shinji, on the other hand was scared of what questions the next day would bring. He was meeting with Kisuke for their regularly scheduled appointment and had a feeling that all the things he was currently avoiding were going to catch up to him then. He shook off the thoughts and got back to cleaning. They still had a quite a bit to do before they were even close to finished.

* * *

A/N YAY! Finally! lol, sorry about the wait but damn things have been kinda hectic lately. Anyway, I have news!

For those of you that don't have me author alerted, I have a new short story out that is based in the SBB 'verse. It contains two short snipets of Grimm and Ichi as fathers and the kids when they area bit older. I did a drabble challenge over at y!gallery and that's why I did it. More drabble type stories as available. it's cute and you all should read it if you haven't already. It's called, _Pages from the Book of Firsts_.

Also, my stories now officially have a fanclub! And it's already got more members than I thought it would ;p Anyway, hop on over to my profile page for the link and sign on up for a membership! It's free~~!

Okay, enough of that. I'm a little worn out now and OMG so hungry. I'll try and update soon but I'm not sure what will come out first. SG, TF, or a drabble. It'll definitely be one of those, lol.

Hope you all enjoyed it!

~Penny


	15. Turning a New Leaf

Turning a New Leaf

Nnoitra groaned and squeezed the body pressed against his chest tighter, blinking both eyes open and squinting at the dark room. He had no idea what time it was, knew that he should probably be moving around anyway, but a certain need was making itself known. Burying his nose in the soft blond hair before him he smirked and rolled his hips forward, rubbing his morning arousal into the small of Shinji's back. Shinji mumbled something in his sleep and pressed his face further into his pillow. Nnoitra grinned and did it again, pushing harder and making Shinji roll forward just a bit. He sat up a bit and leaned over, seeing Shinji's brow pucker and his mouth turn down in a frown. Snickering, he moved his arm, wrapping it more firmly around Shinji's chest and digging his fingers in Shinji's ribcage.

"Ya wanna die?" Shinji's sleep rough voice asked.

Nnoitra chuckled and bit lightly at the top of Shinji's ear. "Try it, Blondie."

He removed his arm from the slightly crushing embrace and trailed his long rough fingers down Shinji's chest, brushing the little metal bars in his nipples. Shinji's brow furrowed deeper and blunt teeth sank into a plump lower lip. Nnoitra circled his middle finger around Shinji's navel and his grin grew when the blond shivered.

"Early…." Shinji whined but made no move to get away.

"Shut up and take it." Nnoitra chuckled low, once again pressing his erection into Shinji's lower back.

His hand moved lower, fingers spreading and brushing through short blond pubic hair. Shinji made a small noise that had Nnoitra licking his lips as his hand covered the blonds' sex. He cupped it and pressed the heel of his hand to the middle, his fingers searching lower to fondle Shinji's testicles. He rolled them gently before reaching further between Shinji's legs and was pleased when thin milky thighs opened for him. Heel of hand putting pressure on the base of Shinji's cock, his middle finger teased his entrance, rubbing and circling but not yet entering. Shinji's breath caught and he opened his legs further, bending his knee and resting his foot on Nnoitra's thigh behind him. Nnoitra once again sank his teeth into the top of Shinji's ear, this time biting harder and pulling. Shinji released his lip and gasped, pressing his ass back and into the almost invading finger.

"If yer gonna do it, do it." Shinji whined again, arching his back and trying to force Nnoitra to press inside him.

Nnoitra's tongue curled along the shell of Shinji's ear and he spoke quietly to him. "I love it when yer all bossy in the mornin'." he said before shoving the entire length of his finger inside the younger man.

Shinji's head fell back onto Nnoitra's shoulder and he once again bit down on his lower lip, the fingers on the hand in front of him curling and tightening in the sheets. He bowed his back and tried to stop himself from bucking his hips, only half successful in his attempt. Nnoitra pulled his finger out and pressed it in again, his mouth now searching Shinji's neck, his tongue mapping the expanse of pale skin. He moved slowly, finger pressing, cock pushing and grinding. Shinji's hips rolled and a soft panting whine could be heard over the rustling of the sheets as they moved. Shinji, finally losing the battle with his patience, reached behind him and grabbed a fist full of Nnoitra's hair, pulling as his back arched and his hips pressed hard against his.

Nnoitra pulled his hand away and let his fingers glide over the inside of Shinji's thigh, gently pushing him open wider. When they reached a bony knee he cupped the underside and lifted the leg, bending it further and positioning himself to take the blond. Nnoitra shifted and moved his other arm under Shinji to stroke him as he pressed the head of his cock to his twitching and eager hole. Shinji pulled again on Nnoitra's hair and licked his lips in anticipation. As a long tongue glided up over the muscles of Shinji's neck Nnoitra tilted his hips and slid home, slow and deep. Shinji made a squeaking sound before gasping and groaning.

"Mmn-ah."

Nnoitra's eyes rolled and he bit down as he pulled almost all the way out of Shinji before snapping his hips forward. Shinji moved his hips, into and away from the cock impaling him. Nnoitra's hand squeezed Shinji's cock as he began to move faster, his teeth now scraping the delicate skin before him.

"Ah, shit…. Nnoi…."

Nnoitra groaned and lifted Shinji's leg further, his fingers curling around Shinji's testicles and lifting them; massaging them. Shinji opened and closed his fingers in Nnoitra's hair, catching and pulling individual strands as he did so. Nnoitra grunted against the pain and bit Shinji's shoulder, lifting Shinji's leg even further so that his thigh was almost touching his side. He slammed his hips forward, squeezing his eyes shut against the pleasure and doing his best to hold out for as long as he could. That was until Shinji clamped around him like a vise.

"Fuck." he grunted, trying to still his hips and only barely succeeding.

Shinji whined and moaned, once again pressing his face into the pillow as he came, simultaneously milking a sympathetic reaction from the man behind him. Panting and trembling, Shinji's body tensed as Nnoitra pulled out of him and kissed the side of his face.

"Yer gonna pull my dick off one'a these days." he muttered and Shinji snorted.

"Serves ya right." he said with a smile.

"Bitch." Nnoitra said with little heat as he kissed Shinji yet again, this time lingering.

Shinji cooed and cuddled closer to the warm body behind him, his eyes still closed. He was drifting back to sleep and wasn't the least bit inclined to stop himself.

"Time is it?" Nnoitra asked and Shinji grunted.

"Don't care. Shut up."

Nnoitra poked Shinji hard in the ribs and chuckled when the blond slapped blindly behind him, missing Nnoitra completely.

"Time?"

"Roll over and check yerself asshole."

Nnoitra kept poking and Shinji finally sat up, slapping his shoulder as hard as he could. Huffing out a sigh as the larger man laughed at him, he looked over his shoulder and read the time before throwing himself back on the bed.

"It's five thirty now shut up."

Nnoitra snorted and sat up, stretching and yawing. "Grumpy bitch."

He stood up and grabbed his clothes before bending over the side of the bed and grabbing Shinji's chin, forcing him to roll over again and face him. He pressed his lips lightly to Shinji's and kissed him softly before pulling back and grinning.

"Gonna grab a shower and head out." he whispered and Shinji nodded, reaching up and circling his arms around Nnoitra's neck.

"Fine. Leave."

Nnoitra kissed him again and whispered against his lips. "Love you."

Shinji felt his heart lurch to a stop in his chest before speeding up. He swallowed and nodded, closing his eyes and pulling Nnoitra closer for another kiss.

"Love you." he said thickly and let his arms drop to the bed as Nnoitra stood and left the room.

He wondered briefly if saying those words would ever not be scary before he rolled over and curled his body, bringing his knees to his chest and closing his eyes. By the time Nnoitra was done with his shower Shinji was fast asleep once more, his body still curled in the fetal position. Nnoitra walked back in the room and looked down at him, a small and almost tender smile on his face. He'd never willingly show that smile to anyone but since Shinji was sleeping he figured it was alright. He bent low once more and brushed Shinji's bangs off his forehead, pressing his lips briefly before standing and leaving the room. If he stayed any longer it'd be too tempting to crawl back in that bed and never leave again.

* * *

Ichigo grabbed his bento and walked to the small covered garden the hospital offered it's patients as an outdoor rest area during the rainy season. He was meeting Tatsuki soon and had wanted to be early but his last patient had asked a million and five completely stupid questions and he found himself running at least fifteen minutes later than he had planned. Tatsuki was sitting at a bench, black spiky hair in complete disarray as usual, sending him a cocked eyebrow with a tiny smile.

"Are you ever on time for anything?" she asked as he sat across from her.

"Shut up." he said, bringing up a feeling of nostalgia greater than moments before.

Tatsuki sighed and leaned back a bit, crossing her arms over her chest. "So what the hell have you been up to anyway, besides becoming a doctor?"

He had been thinking about how much to tell Tatsuki, obviously he wasn't going to tell her everything. He started out talking about how he had immediately gone to university and worked part time with Shinji. He mentioned that he met someone during school and was happily in love with them. Predictably he blushed as he spoke, his thoughts going to the night before when he and Grimmjow had gotten enough quiet from the kids to spend the evening locked in each others' arms. It distracted him enough to trail off in his speech and Tatsuki slapped his shoulder to wake him from his trance.

"Uh…." he started again, clearing his throat and looking away.

"So what's her name?" Tatsuki asked, laughing and cocking her head to the side as she regarded him.

She would be the first of his friends from high school, besides Shinji of course, to find out that he was with a man. He took a deep breath and reached into his back pocket, pulling out his wallet and opening it. He'd have to do this some day, he supposed, might as well get it over with. He pulled out a small photo and handed it to Tatsuki, watching apprehensively for her reaction. The photo was of him and Grimmjow, Grimmjow's arm around Ichigo's shoulders and the both of them smiling widely. It was a fairly old picture, taken almost three years ago now on a trip he, Grimmjow, Shinji and Nnoitra had gone on to Hokkaido, but it was one of his favorite. She looked at it for a while, a frown on her face as she did so, before she looked up at him.

"This is a guy." she commented, waving the picture in her hand.

Ichigo cleared his throat again and nodded. "His name is Grimmjow and we've been together for over four years now." he replied, his voice quiet as he spoke. Just because he was telling Tatsuki didn't mean he wanted the whole hospital to know. It was still a rather delicate subject for most people and as much as he loved Grimmjow he wasn't going to jeopardize his job and out himself.

"You're seeing a guy?" she asked incredulously.

"No Tatsuki, I lied." he rolled his eyes and looked away, covering his discomfort with sarcasm.

She pursed her lips and looked back at the picture, brows furrowing at it before she handed it back to him. Ichigo held his breath, waiting for her to say something, anything.

"You two look good together. Why are you freaking out?"

Ichigo let out the breath he was holding and Tatsuki laughed at him, her smile wide and her head shaking.

"Geez, you never change do you?" she added as he took the picture away from her and returned it to his wallet.

"Shut up. That's not something I go around shouting out all over the place okay?"

"Idiot. You fall in love with who you fall in love with. You can't change that."

Now was the bigger surprise he supposed. He pulled out a second picture and handed it to Tatsuki without a word, just watching her reaction. Her eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open at what she saw and she looked up at him with a quizzical expression.

"What…?"

"Those… those are our kids." he said, his voice even quieter. He leaned forward and pointed to one of the blue haired boys. "This is Sorin. That's Taichi and this one here is Tomoe."

Tatsuki seemed to be speechless, though he had sort of been expecting that. He bit his lip and looked away, clearing his throat yet again.

"Yuzu offered to be a surrogate for us and Grimm and I decided it was a good idea." he spoke, rolling his eyes at the lame explanation.

Tatsuki looked up at him and lowered the picture. "Whoa."

"Whoa?"

"Yeah, whoa." she nodded, at a complete loss for words.

Ichigo rubbed the back of his neck and fought to fill the silence. "Uhm… they're just barely five months now, that picture's kinda old. They're all way bigger now. Though," he laughed as he pictured all three of his kids together. "I think Sorin's probably bigger than Tai or Tomo. Kid eats like a horse."

Tatsuki shook her head slowly as she tried to take it all in. "Wow. You sure grew up, didn't you?" she asked rhetorically. "All I've been doing since high school is kicking ass."

Ichigo shrugged and blew out another breath he hadn't realized he was holding. At least she wasn't freaking out on him about what he was telling her. Tatsuki shook her head again and handed him back the picture.

"I want to meet them." she said, a smile morphing her otherwise hard features.

Ichigo paled slightly, Shinji's words the day before coming back to him. He hadn't even told Grimmjow he was meeting Tatsuki today and wasn't sure how the man would react. It could really go one of two ways. Either Grimmjow would jump on the opportunity to possibly embarrass Ichigo, one of his favorite pastimes, or he would be upset, very upset, that Ichigo hadn't told him about this in the first place.

"Uh… well…." Damn, he couldn't think up an excuse fast enough.

"C'mon! You can't just throw all that at me and not let me meet them. We've known each other forever!"

"Yeah, but…."

"Fine, I'll follow you home and wait outside to meet them." she grinned. "I know what they look like now."

"No!" Ichigo sighed and lowered his head. "Fine, I'll see what I can do, okay?"

Tatsuki threw her head back and laughed, patting Ichigo's shoulder as she stood and stretched out her limbs. "Okay, _Doctor Kurosaki._ I've got to meet Orihime in five so call me and we'll all get together. And it had better be soon."

Ichigo frowned up at her. "Orihime?" he asked, not able to place a face with the name.

Tatsuki rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Man, you really do never change."

Scowling now Ichigo stood and looked down at her. "Wait…," he said, wracking his brain for a moment. "Isn't she…?"

Tatsuki punched his shoulder. "She used to sit near you in class you idiot. She married Uryuu Ishida…."

"Her?"

He suddenly remembered a while back running into the young woman with ridiculously large breasts and her even introducing herself to him. Tatsuki continued to laugh at him, shaking her head at his poor memory when it came to names and faces.

"I can't believe Ishida got someone that looks like _her_." he shook his head.

"Hey, he's not that bad a guy and he treats Orihime like a queen." she looked at her watch and sighed. "Okay, call me jerk. I want to meet your family."

"Yeah, yeah." he waved her off and sat heavily back on the bench behind him.

That had gone much more smoothly than he had hoped it would. He shook himself and pushed the thoughts of telling Grimmjow about this out of his head as he opened his bento and dug in. He still had half a shift ahead of him and it wouldn't do to be distracted.

* * *

Shinji slouched in the chair in the waiting room as he waited for Kisuke's last client to finish up. He had gotten to the office early that day, not sure why, and ended up having to wait for over an hour. He cursed his stupidity and yawned stretching his arms above his head. He let his head fall back against the back of the chair and was just closing his eyes when the door to the office opened and Kisuke led a teary eyed woman out into the waiting room.

"You just keep working on those breathing exercises and I think you'll be a lot better off, okay?" Kisuke said with a bright smile and the woman nodded her assent.

Shinji stood and shoved his hands in his pockets, waiting for the woman to leave so that he could enter the room and speak with the older blond. He was sure he was going to be told things he didn't want to hear today, but he wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible. Kisuke smiled and waved him in, shutting the door with a soft click behind him. He had been eager to hear how things had gone with Shinji and Nnoitra, the last thing he heard having been the distraught blond in the middle of a nervous breakdown.

"Sit, sit. I take it you have a lot to say today." he said eagerly, clasping his hands together in front of him as he too took a seat.

"Yeah. I guess I have a lot to tell ya." Shinji started, slumping onto the soft plush couch.

He started with telling Kisuke about how he had sat in front of Nnoitra's apartment for over and hour, thoughts of the other man having run off yet again darkening and congealing in his mind. He recalled the moment and rush of relief when Nnoitra had finally shown up, then the awkwardness of deciding how to react to the other man. He recounted the fight, the words thrown back and forth between the men and finally the screamed words of love. The shock. The fear. The happiness. Shinji gave a small smile to the carpeted floor and reached inside the collar of his shirt, pulling the necklace Nnoitra had made for him out by his thumb.

"Oh, that's nice." Kisuke said, reserving further comment until Shinji was finished.

"So yeah, I guess we've decided to kinda start over. Er, pick up where we left off anyway." Shinji said quietly, leaning back and frowning.

"And how does that make you feel?" Kisuke asked with a smile, knowing his comment would make the other blond smile as well.

True to form, Shinji smirked and shook his head. "Makes me feel…," he sighed and closed his eyes, running his hands over his face. He knew he couldn't lie to Kisuke, shouldn't even try anymore with how easily the other man could read people. "I feel apprehensive. Scared. Happy. Angry with myself." He stopped trying to give names to all the emotions he felt and closed his eyes.

"Why?"

Shinji took a deep breath and sat up straight. "There's so much I don't know how ta tell 'im."

Kisuke nodded his head and looked Shinji directly in the eyes. "You're looking for an excuse _not_ to tell him, aren't you?"

_Bingo._

"No." Shinji said flatly and Kisuke only smiled. "Fine. Yes, I don't wanna tell 'im. Who'd wanna say that though? Who'd want ta be like, 'Oh hey, while ya were gone I fucked over a hundred guys, did a ton of porn, downed God knows how many pills and who knows what else Szayel gave me and almost died!' No thanks."

"Don't you think he deserves to know everything? It's not a small thing you went through Shinji."

Shinji crossed his arms over his chest and scowled. "Yeah well he ain't told me what happened ta him. He ain't said a goddamned word 'bout where he's been or what he did. Or why it took so fuckin' long ta come home."

"Have you asked?"

Shinji's scowl deepened and he refused to answer. He had wanted to ask, but hadn't wanted to break the serene little bubble that had appeared around them. It would be nice if they could just forget everything and not rehash the past, but Shinji knew that one day it was going to come out. The longer he put it off the harder it would be to explain everything. Kisuke watched with rapt attention as Shinji's brain worked, happy that he never really had to say too much for this young man to get what was needed.

Shinji groaned and dropped his hands to his side. "Ya know, it ain't fair life's so hard." he complained.

Kisuke smiled and chuckled. "Like I said, if life was easy I'd be out of a job."

Kisuke reached for a small cup of water and took a sip, the whole time keeping his watchful gaze on Shinji.

"It's up to you whether or not you say anything, you know that. But think about how you feel about not knowing what Nnoitra's been through. You want to know, right? And you want him to come to you on his own and tell you." Shinji nodded slowly. "It is my _suggestion _you not put this off. The longer you wait the harder it will be."

Kisuke sat forward, his face growing serious and making Shinji's stomach do flip flops.

"He deserves to know either way, Shinji. What happened to you, what you did, while he was gone, wasn't some little thing. I _suggest_ not letting him find this out on his own."

Shinji's heart sank at the words he knew to be true and he nodded sullenly. "I know." he said quietly, folding his arms over his stomach. "I know."

* * *

Nnoitra followed Starrk back to his tiny apartment and inside, throwing himself on one of the bowed out couches the man would most likely never get rid of. Starrk reached in his pocket and pulled out a small rolled joint and a silver lighter. Nnoitra sneered and shook his head when the joint was raised in his direction in offering.

"Ya know I don't do that shit." he said as Starrk lit up and took deep pull.

"It's polite to offer, Nnoi-san." Starrk replied quietly as he too took a seat.

Nnoitra snorted again and hoped he wouldn't leave with another contact high. He didn't mind pot so much, but he didn't like it fucking with his head.

"So what did you want to talk about, Nnoi-san?" Starrk asked as he exhaled a thick cloud of smoke.

"I'm gonna be missin' some days. Got work fer Aizen again." he said, leaning back and sighing.

"Not leaving again are you?" Starrk asked in an almost bored tone.

Nnoitra shook his head. "Naw, gotta find a dude that supposed ta be here about."

Starrk nodded and took another drag. "Alright then. You got a job waiting for you. You always will."

"Thanks man."

Nnoitra hadn't really been worried about his job at all, but for some reason he felt the need to tell Starrk that he wasn't going to be around as much as he probably should be at this point, considering he had just started the job back up. His relationship with the older man was as close as he could figure a father son relationship would be. A normal one anyway. Starrk had always been there with advice but had never expected anyone to take it. He just figured that he'd have his say and let others do as they pleased. Either they'd listen to him or not, but at least he had told them what he thought.

"You make up with the blond yet?" Starrk asked around another inhale of smoke.

Nnoitra grinned and nodded, thinking of that morning. "Yeah. Got 'im back on my good side."

Starrk smirked and exhaled. "That's good. You were much happier when you two were together. It's nice to see you happy. Didn't happen often enough in the past."

Nnoitra nodded, a sneer on his lips, and looked away. "Yeah well, I gotta hit a bathhouse and change my clothes b'fore I see 'im again cuz 'a you." Nnoitra stood and bumped a quick fist with Starrk as he walked to the door.

"Will you be in tomorrow?" Starrk asked with a yawn as Nnoitra reached for the door knob.

"Naw, I'm scoutin' a few places tamorrow. Wanna get this shit done and over with."

Starrk nodded. "Alright then. See you when I see you then."

Nnoitra left the room and took a deep breath of fresh air, glad that his head only spun a little. Whatever kind of contact high he had gotten it would be long gone by the time be got home. He was half way to the bath house when his cell phone rang and he pulled it out of his back pocket, grinning when he saw who it was.

"Yo, Grimm. What's up?"

"You wanted to get in touch with Nakeem, right? Well I had Edrad give me his number." Grimmjow said before pulling the phone away to yell at one of the cats. "Get the fuck off the bookshelf idiot!"

"Oh yeah. Text me that shit. He still livin' in Osaka?"

Grimmjow grunted and Nnoitra heard the muted cry of a baby in the background. "Yeah. Fuck, gotta go. I'll send it after I change Tai, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah."

Nnoitra shoved his phone back in his pocket and continued to walk. Nakeem had ties with some factions of the Triad and might have some valuable information on where Longwei was hiding out at. The sooner he found the asshole the sooner he could get on with his life.

* * *

A/N So I took forever getting something for this one out and I really don't have any excuse. Storm said I cold blame her though , so I will :D I'd like to post a couple more chapters of this before getting back to TF and hopefully I can manage it. I've made some rather dramatic changes to my original idea for this fic, but the general plot is staying the same. I'll just be adding in more drama. YAY DRAMA. Thanks to all those that joined me on livestream today for the majority of this chapter and I'm just happy to be able to post. I hope everyone likes it :D:D Reviews? comments?

Feed the author please :D

~Penny

BTW I've decided to open up anonymous reviewing for everyone. I've never had that option enabled but I thought it might be a good idea and perhaps allow more readers to review :D


	16. The Precipice Of Happiness

The Precipice Of Happiness

_Baby_  
_Negae banhae beorin naegae wae irae_

Shinji perked up as the lyrics were heard and ran across the room to turn up the stereo. Tesla poked his head out of the kitchen and smiled widely.

_Ring ding dong_  
_Ring ding dong_  
_Ring diggi ding diggi_  
_Ding ding ding _

Shinji grinned and jumped up, spreading his feet to shoulders width and spread his hands wide at each of his hips. Bending at the knees a bit he moved his right hand slightly in front of him, the other just behind him and undulated his hips to the left, dipping and sliding his right hand to the left as he did so. Tesla laughed and clapped his hands together, copying the dance move to one of his and Shinji's favorite songs by SHINee. Abandoning the rest of the moves, it wasn't that neither of them knew the moves, they had spent one long drunken night learning all of them, but they really did have to get dinner ready. Shinji bounced back to the kitchen, wiggling his ass and bobbing his head, making Tesla laugh again. That night had been so much fun but the next day, coupled with a huge hangover, Shinji's knee had swollen to twice it's size and he hadn't been able to walk on it for a couple days with bursting into tears, something he hated doing anyway. But he'd do it all over again if he had the chance.

"You aren't usually this happy on Wednesdays, Shin-chan." Tesla observed as he stirred the vegetables heating on the stove.

Shinji grinned and leaned over Tesla's shoulder, plucking a pepper out of the mix and deftly avoiding a slap to his hand. He popped the vegetable into his mouth and chewed, swallowing before replying.

"Ya complainin'?"

Tesla's eyes went a little wide and he shook his head. "Of course not!"

Shinji giggled and danced back to the counter where he was doing what he did best in the kitchen. Dishes.

"I'm just happy fer once. Kinda nice." he wasn't exactly sure where his good mood had come from, he had left Kisuke's with what felt like a hole in his chest but shortly after he had arrived back at his office Nnoitra had called.

"Yo." he had greeted and Shinji couldn't stop the smile from blooming on his face if he had tried.

"What do _you_ want?" he had asked, though his tone was playful.

Nnoitra snorted. "I'm comin' over tanight. I like yer bed better."

Shinji shook his head. "And what if I say no?" he teased.

"Ha! Yeah right. See ya Blondie."

A part of him told him he didn't deserve this sort of happiness right then. He should be fretting over his confession of past events and how he was going to tell what he sorely didn't want to. He should be angry that Nnoitra was being so tight lipped about everything that had happened in his long absence. But his happy side had squished all that down and told it to take a fucking hike for a while. Why was it so wrong to want to just laugh for a day? Or two. Surely holding on to the past for a couple more days wasn't going to hurt that much. Right?

"Ne, Tes? Yer makin' enough fer Nnoi, right?" Shinji asked, not looking at the blond behind him. He knew that Tesla was still, and understandably, uncomfortable about the recent changes, but he wasn't going to let that bother him. He loved Tesla, but in a much different way than he loved Nnoitra.

He felt a small shiver wrack his body as he thought about the word _love_ and how it applied to his feelings towards the tall, thin, incorrigible man. Smiling at the plastic tub full of hot soapy water he lifted a plate and waited for Tesla to speak.

"Uhm… I think so. I'm not sure we have enough food in the house for him though." Tesla commented quietly.

Shinji rinsed the last dish and set it in the dish drain before turning around and wrapping his arms around Tesla's waist, resting his chin on his shoulder.

"You'll make someone a great wife someday Tes."

Tesla giggled. "You're silly Shin-chan."

There was a loud knock at the door and Shinji quickly kissed the back of Tesla's head. "Tell Nnoi I did that and I'll kill ya." he said in a sing song voice as he skipped off to answer the door.

Shinji unlocked all the locks, four of them put there shortly after one of Tesla's ex-boyfriend's had broken in six months ago, and threw the door open wide, smiling warmly up at a wide eyed Nnoitra. Nnoitra blinked at the greeting, a rare thing from Shinji at least for him, and in a moment of impulse he reached out and grabbed Shinji by the back of the head, pulling him forward as he bent his head and captured his lips in a fierce and demanding kiss. Shinji's body went rigid for a moment before going boneless as he collapsed into the larger man. Shinji's long arms rose and fingers linked behind Nnoitra's neck as they kissed, tongues lashing and sliding against each other. Nnoitra's hand tightened on the back of Shinji's head, pulling the hair, as his other hand reached behind Shinji and roughly grabbed his ass. He swallowed Shinji's small moan and was just about to flip them and push Shinji against the wall when Tesla cleared his throat from the kitchen.

"Uhm… the door's still open." he reminded quietly, trying not to look at the pair.

Shinji took a deep shaky breath as he pulled reluctantly away from Nnoitra and looked behind the taller man, seeing that the door was indeed still wide open. But Nnoitra refused to let him go when he struggled and he looked back up at him with a half amused, half irritated look.

"Then _you_ shut it." he said, watching the lust clouding an amethyst iris slowly recede.

Nnoitra nodded and let go of Shinji with one arm, slamming the door shut and flipping one of the locks into place out of habit. It was then that he realized the house smelled amazing and his mouth began to instantly water. He turned his head towards the kitchen, looking through Tesla as if he could see what the smell was. Shinji giggled and Tesla blushed, looking away and walking back to his cooking.

"Hungry?" Shinji asked, and Nnoitra nodded before looking down at Shinji and letting a wide grin stretch his lips.

"Fer more than one thing." he growled.

Shinji rolled his eyes and pushed the rest of the way out of Nnoitra's grasp, this time with much less resistance. "That was lame even fer you." he teased, walking to the stereo to turn it down until the song switched to another one of his favorites. Shinji loved music that made him want to move.

So instead of turning it off when the Korean boy band Super Junior started in with Sorry Sorry, he turned it up a bit more and bounced to the kitchen to get plates out for their meal. Nnoitra sprawled on the couch, looking over the back of it and into the open kitchen to watch Shinji and Tesla move and interact. Well, mostly his eyes were on Shinji of course, the blond was shaking his ass provocatively to the beat that blasted through the large speakers the stereo boasted. Tesla leaned over and said something Nnoitra couldn't hear to Shinji and Shinji laughed, slinging an arm over Tesla's shoulders. The both of them dipped a bit and step-slide to the left before bursting into laughter and parting. Nnoitra shook his head at the display. He wasn't sure he wanted to know what those idiots were laughing about and he was already getting impatient with waiting for the food. He wanted to eat and then fuck Shinji so hard he cried. Another grin stretched his lips and he pushed back up off the couch.

Shinji almost dropped the plates he was holding when he turned around and Nnoitra was standing there, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest and a leer on his face.

"It done yet?" he asked.

Shinji cocked a hip. "I'm settin' the table ain't I?"

Nnoitra made sure to smack Shinji's ass as he passed and his grin grew when he was thrown a pouty frown from the blond. Dinner tasted wonderful but the atmosphere was awkward at best. Nnoitra didn't like Tesla so he ignored him, not even bothering to so much as thank him for the food. Tesla was nervous being around the man he still not so secretly idolized and proud that the man seemed to like his food enough to devour everything on his plate. Shinji's libido had kicked in, big surprise there, and half the time he was running his sock clad foot up the inside on Nnoitra's thigh. No one bothered to speak but the music filled the silence and made things a little easier.

As soon as Nnoitra was finished cleaning his plate, barely resisting the urge to lick it clean it tasted so damn good, he stood and looked expectantly down at Shinji. In the middle of chewing his mouthful of food, Shinji frowned.

"Hurry up." Nnoitra said in a demanding tone and Shinji rolled his eyes, swallowing.

"Go watch TV er somethin'. I like ta actually taste my food, thanks."

A short staring contest ensued before Nnoitra grunted and walked off, shutting off the stereo with far more force than was needed before throwing himself on the couch and reaching for the remote. Tesla blinked at Shinji and leaned towards him as soon as the television was on and loud enough to mask anything he might say.

"He's acting a little strange, don't you think?" he asked quietly, referring to how easily the man had just obeyed Shinji, and Shinji frowned.

"He _is_ strange." he retorted but still looked over at the man on his couch.

Tesla bit his lip before speaking again. "Well, he always used to listen to you better than anyone else. Maybe… maybe it's just strange because it's been so long?"

Shinji swallowed the last of his food and shrugged. Maybe. Either that or he was trying to get on Shinji's good side because he wanted something. Shinji certainly wouldn't put it passed the man as he'd done it many times n the past. His good mood sinking a little at the thought, he rose and took his dishes to the kitchen, rinsing them and setting them in the tiny portable dishwasher Tesla had bought recently. They rarely used it but Shinji was feeling lazy and didn't want to do the dishes that night. Tesla had a certain method to putting away leftovers and usually spent a good thirty minutes doing so but Nnoitra had relieved him of that privilege that evening by eating everything that hadn't been taken by the other two present. With nothing to do he excused himself to get ready for his boyfriend who would be picking him up in less than an hour.

Shinji waited until Tesla was gone before he leaned over the back of the couch and kissed Nnoitra's cheek. He should have been ready when the brute grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him completely over the back, leaving him to sprawl across a thin and bony lap.

"Ya…!"

Of course he wasn't given time to finish his sentence when Nnoitra replaced Shinji's words with his tongue. He could taste their meal and something else, something spicy, but when an unfamiliar smell tickled his nostrils he pulled back to frown up into a face full of impatience.

"What is that?" Shinji asked, leaning forward to sniff Nnoitra's shirt. No, that wasn't it.

"What's what?"

Shinji frowned and sniffed again, this time Nnoitra's neck, causing the man to twitch slightly at the tickling sensation it caused. No… it wasn't an aftershave, Shinji thought. It was too…. He tilted his head and sniffed Nnoitra's hair, frowning and shifting in the lap he was sprawled across to do it again in a different spot.

"Is…," he sniffed again and pulled back, a deep frown on his face. "Is that _weed_?"

Nnoitra's eye opened wide and his mouth dropped open a little before he frowned. "Fuckin' hell! How the hell didja even smell it?"

"Ya were smokin' _weed_?" Shinji asked in a shocked tone. Last time Shinji had checked Nnoitra didn't do any sort of drugs, not since his days with Szayel and most of the time back then it hadn't been consenting.

"No!" Nnoitra defended heatedly, shaking his head for emphasis.

"Well then why the hell do ya smell like it?"

Nnoitra's head dropped back to the back of the couch and he brought up a hand to rub at his tired eyes. "I'mma fuckin' kill Starrk." he muttered tiredly.

Shinji's mouth dropped open. "Ya were smokin' with _him_?"

"I toldja I wasn't smokin' nothin' damn it." he shouted and Shinji huffed out a breath.

It didn't make sense that Shinji could smell anything at all as far as Nnoitra was concerned. He had soaked for a half an hour, gone home and changed his clothes and it had been nearly three hours since he had even been in Starrk's house. Then again, Shinji had the nose of a bloodhound. Shinji opened his mouth to say something else but Nnoitra growled and lifted his head, brushing his lips against the side of Shinji's neck. Shinji sucked in a breath and pulled back, frowning at Nnoitra.

"Don't try and make me ferget about this." he said, eyes narrowed and lips pouting.

Nnoitra rolled his eye and kissed Shinji's neck again, this time letting his tongue wet the skin and slide over muscle. Predictably Shinji's head fell back a little and he was given greater access to roam and Nnoitra ran his teeth up over Shinji's Adam's apple. Shinji rested a hand on Nnoitra's shoulder and let his fingers slowly curl into the fabric of Nnoitra's shirt. Nnoitra's tongue ran over Shinji's Adam's apple before his lips closed around it and he sucked hard. Shinji's eyes rolled closed and he let out a quiet sigh of contentment.

However, before they could get into anything more pleasurable, there was a knock at the door and Tesla came out of his room to answer it. He did his best not to look at the couple on the couch as he passed them and opened the door. As the door opened Nnoitra managed to both drop jaw and curl his lip in distaste. The man was short and portly, a full yet well maintained beard covering the lower half of his face and small beady eyes. Tesla smiled at the man and kissed him on the lips before reaching for his coat from the small closet near the front door.

"Good evening, Takashiro-san." Shinji said politely and the man turned an intense glare his way.

Not bothering to respond to the greeting, Takashiro grabbed Tesla's arm and yanked him out the door, slamming it behind him. Shinji cocked an eyebrow at the door and shook his head.

"He's seein'_ that_?" Nnoitra exclaimed in disgust and Shinji giggled.

"He has horrible taste in men."

Nnoitra grunted and shifted his hips, now the furthest from turned on as he could get without being physically ill. "He likes me." he muttered.

Shinji cocked his head to the side and smirked. "Like I said, horrible taste."

Nnoitra grinned and leaned back against the couch cushions. "You like me too."

Shinji let his own lips tilt into a grin as he repressed a small giggle. "Yeah, but I got bad taste in men too."

"Shit."

Shinji giggled and slid out of Nnoitra's lap, holding out a hand and pursing his lips. "C'mon. I wanna shower. Then ya c'n dirty me up in bed, ne?"

Nnoitra linked his fingers with Shinji's as he stood before picking the blond up bodily and flinging him over his shoulder, carrying a half fighting, half hysterically laughing Shinji to the shower in answer.

* * *

"Well we have to get the fliers out now if we're actually going to have anyone show up." Ichigo said as he leaned back against the front of the couch.

"I think that we should make it an invite only event." Yumi chimed in and Ichigo nodded absently.

"Don't be such a snob, Yumi." Shinji sighed. "This is just a fun party."

"Yes but there were always undesirables at _Wank_. Why invite them back?"

Shinji smiled and tapped his pencil against his notebook paper. "That's what we have Z for."

He had called together Ichigo, Yumichika, and Hanataro Friday night to discuss the plans for the Halloween party that was to be held Halloween night. At first it was going to be held at _Solid Gold_ and consist of only a costume party with good food and good music. Shinji had planned to open it up only to members. However, the more he thought about it the more the idea had morphed before it was now almost completely different. He had called Z about a month prior and asked if he could rent _Wank_ for the night and been granted permission as long as he cleaned up after he was finished. He had then talked to some of the former employees of _Wank_ as well as a few of the employees of _Solid Gold_ and had asked them if they would be interested in dancing. He had been overwhelmed with the positive response. So now, what had once been a simple get together, was a full blown party complete with drink, food, costumes and male and female strippers. It was looking to be a fantastic event.

"Do we have everything to decorate with yet?" Hanataro asked, shifting his youngest daughter, Aya, in his lap as she slept.

Yumi shook his head. "We still need a lot and then we have to figure a way to fit everything in there and still have room for the party goers."

Shinji sighed. That was going to be an issue as _Wank_ was a lot smaller than _Solid Gold_. However, Shinji didn't have a license for stripping at _Solid Gold_ and didn't think he'd get off as easy on something like that were he caught. That's all he need was to have the place shut down so soon after opening.

"You let me worry 'bout that stuff and start thinkin' 'bout yer routine and costume."

Yumi straightened his back in the chair he had seated himself in, curling a sleeping Sorin closer to his body. "I already have my costume and routine down. After all it hasn't been that long since I danced."

"Kana picked out my outfit last week and has been helping me after the kids go to bed." Hanataro smiled as he spoke of his wife.

Just then Hanataro's oldest daughter walked up to Ichigo and tugged on his shirt, pulling his attention away from the group. He smiled at her, thinking that she looked so much like her father it was ridiculous, and asked her what she needed.

"I… I can jump rope!" the little girl said, nodding her head enthusiastically.

Ichigo grinned. "Really? That's cool!"

"Do you jump rope?" she asked, looking down at Taichi as he was seated between Ichigo's open legs.

"I think I'm a little big for that." Ichigo frowned, honestly thinking about the question.

"I hate carrots." the little girl announced loudly and everyone present chuckled.

"Carrots are good for ya." Shinji said, setting his notebook aside.

The little girl ignored him and looked back at Ichigo. "Can I hold the baby? I'm good at holding babies."

Shinji smiled as he watched Ichigo pick her up and seat her on the floor on the opposite side of him before placing Taichi in her arms. Ichigo was such a good father even if he didn't have all that much experience. Taichi gurgled and stuck a fist in his mouth, ignoring everything around him in favor of the appendage.

"Ichi, have ya made up yer mind yet?" Shinji asked, watching Tomoe's attempt at crawling out of the corner of his eye.

Ichigo shrugged. "I'm still not sure, Shin. It's been a long time, you know."

Shinji grinned and shared a look with Yumi. "Yeah, been a long time fer me too ya know."

Tomoe screeched and kicked her legs in frustration and Hanataro's daughter wiggled where she sat.

"I hafta pee." she announced, her voice just as loud as it had been before.

Ichigo blinked down at her and nodded, picking Taichi up and setting him back between his legs. The little girl smiled and stood, crossing her legs and bouncing a bit.

"I can do it by myself!" she said gleefully before taking off down the halfway.

Shinji looked at Hanataro with a slightly worried look on his face. The bathroom floors were linoleum but he still didn't want urine on them. Hanataro stood and rested his Aya on his hip before reaching into the diaper bag next to him and pulling out a small potty seat.

"She can do it mostly on her own but if she doesn't use this she'll fall in." he giggled before following his daughter to the bathroom.

Ichigo leaned back against the front of the couch again and grinned to himself. "I can't wait." He said quietly.

After everyone left, deciding on getting together that Sunday for more planning, Ichigo helped Shinji clean up in the kitchen while the triplets slept in their playpen. Once the last dish was set in the dishwasher Shinji set a pot for tea and he and Ichigo sat at the small dinner table.

"Oh yeah, before I forget." Ichigo started, eyeing Shinji carefully before he continued. "Uh, Grimm wants to have you and Nnoitra over for dinner Saturday. He said he had news but of course he wouldn't tell me what kind of news."

"Maybe he's pregnant." Shinji deadpanned before bursting out into laughter at the look Ichigo threw at him. "Oh c'mon Ichigo. It can't be anything bad if he wants _me_ there."

"I know that. I just hate it when he keeps things from me." Ichigo muttered.

"Speakin' of keepin' things from each other…."

Ichigo sighed and rolled his eyes. "No I haven't told Grimm about Tatsuki yet. I've been busy."

"Yeah…. Whatever." Shinji said at length.

"She wants to meet him and the kids though so…." he trailed off, the both of them slipping into silence.

Shinji snorted and stood, slapping Ichigo's shoulder. "Well good luck with that!" he said with a laugh and left the room. He didn't envy Ichigo in the least in this situation. No matter how he looked at it Grimmjow wasn't going to react the way Ichigo was hoping he would.

* * *

Grimmjow tossed his clothes in the washing machine and walked back to the bathroom stark naked for a shower. He needed to get cleaned before Ichigo got home and smelled what he had been doing. Cigarettes were hell to quit, even if he did have three very good reasons to do so. He had done a good job for almost a year after things had settled down in their lives but had started it up again when he had gone back to work for Aizen. He had quit again when he and Ichigo had decided to have the kids and had done very good until the past month. With the stress of looking for a home to raise his family in, more demanding projects at work, Ichigo's own increasing work and study schedule, he was still taking classes two nights a week, he'd found himself sucking down half a pack a day. And doing too much laundry. He was actually surprised Ichigo hadn't noticed yet.

After a quick wash, more to eradicate the smell of cigarettes than to get clean, he dressed in lounge pants and nothing else before heading to the kitchen for a beer. He was enjoying the quite house but knew that Ichigo and the kids should be home from Shinji's soon. He was excited about the news he was about to break to Ichigo and hoped he'd be able to hold back until the following day. He wanted it to be perfect, so much so that he had been stressed out most of the day trying to figure out how best to approach things, hence the smoking.

He jerked when the phone rang and jogged to answer it, smiling when Ichigo's voice came crisp and clear through the tiny speaker.

"Hey, can you come down and give me a hand with these guys and all their crap?" Ichigo asked and Grimmjow could hear a car door shut.

"Yeah, be down in a sec." Grimmjow replied.

He grabbed a shirt and a pair of sneakers before bounding down the hall to the elevators. He knew the only way he'd keep his mouth shut about this juicy little secret was to get the kids fed and sleeping before he fucked Ichigo until he passed out. With that thought seeding perversion in his mind he smiled to himself and wished for the elevator car to speed up.

* * *

A/N YAY! I finally finished it! I hope it makes up for the absense and I'll do my best to get another one out soon~

Some news: I'm sure by now all of you have heard about Redbutton and what's going on with this site. I'm taking necessary precautions "just in case" anything happens to my work. I suggest that you bookmark or write down or whatever, the deviantART link off my profile page and tuck it away for safe keeping in the event some douche pokes in and decides they don't like me. From the fanclub you can get links to my stories that I will be posting on other sites. I'm not leaving here unless I get kicked off, I want to make that very clear.

CONTEST!: Hop on over to the fanclub, link is on my profile page, and check out the details of the very first MistressPsFC contest! I hope to see some good entries Duckies~

~Penny


	17. Glimpses of the Past

Glimpses of the Past

This… really wasn't how he had wanted to do this. His idea and plans for a romantic morning with just him and Ichigo fell through almost the instant they woke up when Yuzu had called saying that she couldn't watch the kids that morning after all. Grimmjow looked in the rear view mirror and sighed, all three of his children were fussing but not yet crying. Ichigo was seated next to him, yawning and trying very unsuccessfully to hide it. Grimmjow shook his head and sighed. Well, at least they would all be doing this as a family. Ichigo still had no idea what they were doing and had just about thrown a fit when Grimmjow had insisted they leave on an "adventure" at eight in the morning.

"Damn it, Grimm. I'm fuckin' tired. Can't we do it later?" Ichigo had whined and Grimmjow had shaken his head as he dressed Sorin in a thick onesie that sported the phrase "My daddies are hot", care of Shinji.

"Are we there yet?" Ichigo asked, sighing and leaning his head against the window.

Grimmjow snorted. "Have I stopped the car yet?"

Ichigo glared at him before closing his eyes and crossing his arms over his chest. He hated getting up early on his days off and he had been over at Shinji's until rather late the night before discussing the Halloween party details. He didn't understand what Grimmjow was so excited about but he hoped it was over quickly so they could go home and enjoy the nice warm condo with the kids. The rainy season had barely started and he was already sick of it.

Grimmjow slowly pulled the car into a residential neighborhood and tapped Ichigo's shoulder, grinning when Ichigo huffed and blinked his eyes open, frowning at what he saw. He sat up straighter and scowled at Grimmjow before looking out the window again.

"What are we doing here?" he asked.

"I wanted to show you something." Grimmjow said, barely able to contain himself.

"You brought me out house hunting?" Ichigo asked incredulously.

"Not exactly." Grimmjow replied, unable to withhold the glee from his voice.

When they pulled up in front of a decent sized house with a high fence surrounding it, Ichigo looked back at Grimmjow again, his scowl morphing into a full frown.

"Wanna take a look?" Grimmjow asked, already opening his door and getting out of the car.

Ichigo sighed. "I suppose I don't have much choice now, idiot." he said to himself before opening his own door.

Ichigo grabbed Sorin and Tomoe, pulling their pink and red hoods over their heads before bringing them out into the drizzling rain, and Grimmjow grabbed Taichi before taking off at a jog to the front door of the house. Ichigo continued to frown as he followed and watched Grimmjow step inside. He noticed the 'sold' sign on the wall of the high fence before shutting the door behind him and pulling off his own hood.

The place was big, thick carpeting just like Grimmjow liked, open floor plan and large living room with a huge fireplace. Ichigo toed off his shoes and sighed when he realized the inside of the house was warm and all the lights were working.

"What do you think?" Grimmjow asked, setting Taichi on the floor and grinning back over his shoulder at Ichigo.

"It's nice, but the sign outside says sold." Ichigo replied as he looked around, noticing a large modern kitchen to the left and a tall sliding glass door leading to a wild looking backyard to the right.

"Yeah it does."

Ichigo frowned. "Then why are we standing in someone's empty house?" he asked, setting both Sorin and Tomoe down next to Taichi if only because they were heavy.

"We're standing in _our _empty house." Grimmjow said, spreading his arms wide and grinning wider than he had in a long time.

Ichigo stared at him uncomprehendingly. "What?"

Grimmjow's hands dropped to his sides and he stepped forward, wrapping his arms around Ichigo's waist and kissing his cheek.

"I bought it. Everything became final yesterday. We can start moving in whenever we want." he said, his voice low and methodic.

Ichigo blinked. "Wh… what?"

"It's got four bedrooms so the kids will all have their own rooms when they get older, but for now we can have one be the nursery, one the play room and one can be my office. The backyard needs some TLC, but we can do that when it's the right season. There's a hot tub back there too, but it needs some work and cleaning."

"Grimm." Ichigo said, breathless. "What do you mean, you bought it?"

"This is our new home, Ichi. A place to raise our kids comfortably." Grimmjow beamed.

Blue eyes locked with brown and Ichigo swallowed, not at all sure how to think about this with his still sleep muddled mind.

"You… bought a house. And you didn't tell me?" he said, as if trying to wrap his brain around the idea.

"You mad?" Grimmjow asked, smiling a little when all Ichigo did was snort and look away.

"I don't know. I probably should be." Ichigo mused.

Tomoe screeched and gurgled looking up at her fathers for a moment before returning her attention to the flower at the end of the zipper on her pink jacket. Grimmjow leaned forward and brushed his lips against Ichigo's before pulling back to smile at him again.

"The master bedroom is huge." he said and Ichigo dropped his head, shaking it as a small chuckle escaped him.

"You… really bought this place?" he asked quietly and Grimmjow nodded.

"For us."

Ichigo smiled and bit his lip before throwing his arms around Grimmjow's neck and hugging him tightly. Grimmjow grunted and laughed, hugging Ichigo back just as hard and was surprised when the younger man was suddenly kissing him passionately. He returned it, he would never not return a kiss from Ichigo, and soon found himself wanting to pulling Ichigo to the floor and make love to him right then and there. Grimmjow pulled back to catch his breath, blue eyes dark as he looked at Ichigo's blushing and aroused face.

"_This _is why I wanted yer sister to watch the kids this morning." Grimmjow muttered, wincing when Sorin started wailing.

Ichigo smirked and let go of him, dropping to the floor next to his children and looking up at Grimmjow with a huge smile.

"How 'bout we play with the kids till they're worn out and then take them back home and we can celebrate then, ne?" Ichigo said with a slightly cocked eyebrow.

Grimmjow sat next to him and pecked his lips before pulling Taichi's jacket off.

"I say that is a fuckin' great idea."

Ichigo shook his head and laughed and together they began to tickle and tease their children to exhaustion.

* * *

Nnoitra frowned down at the top of Shinji's head as they rode the elevator up to Grimmjow and Ichigo's condo Saturday evening. They were a little early but Shinji had insisted they leave before they got too wrapped up in themselves and forgot to go in the first place. Nnoitra didn't want to admit that when Shinji looked up at him with honey eyes pouting and pleading that it had done weird and annoying things to his guts and chest, so he had bargained with the blond to make himself feel better. Nnoitra would go with him… if Shinji promised to let him tie him up later. They hadn't really played that way since they had started sleeping together again and Nnoitra was more than eager to get back to those sorts of activities. Though, by the look on Shinji's face, it hadn't really been that hard of a decision to make as far as agreeing to it.

Nnoitra reached out and began to pull at the ends of Shinji's hair, snorting when the blond twitched away from him and glared.

"Quit bein' a bitch."

"Quit touchin' my hair." Shinji countered.

He'd been snappish since he had gotten a phone call from work about a shipment that had come in that morning. Broken. The entire bar smelled like vodka and there was nothing they could do about it but put out floor fans and open windows and doors after the mess was cleared up. Shinji had spent a good twenty minutes on the phone with the shipping company and had finally managed to get an apology in the form of free shipping for the three months.

"Gonna get a butt ton of shit ordered." Shinji had grumbled as he tossed his cell phone on the couch and tried to think of something to cool his anger.

"We're gonna be too early." Nnoitra commented and Shinji sighed.

"So what? They're probably just hangin' with the kids right now. It's not like we hafta be there right at dinner time."

"Che, we coulda just stayed and fucked first and been just fine." Nnoitra rolled his eyes before letting them travel down Shinji's reflection in the mirrored elevator walls. Shinji was wearing a tie on his day off again. Nnoitra loved that.

"We already agreed what you'd get ta do if we came early so quit complainin'."

The elevator doors dinged open and Shinji stepped out ahead of Nnoitra, turning left down the hallway to Grimmjow and Ichigo's home. Nnoitra cocked his eyebrow at the view the blond presented him and smirked. He really hoped that ass never lost it's perk. The doors started to close on him and he pushed his way out, grunting when he had to nearly jump out of the way and glad that no one was there to witness it. Shinji was just raising his hand to knock when Nnoitra came up beside him and wrapped his long fingers on the door knob and began to turn.

"What're ya doin'?" Shinji asked, grabbing Nnoitra's wrist.

"I'm goin' in."

"Nnoi, ya don't live here no more. Ya can't just walk right in." Shinji pointed out, speaking slowly as if to a child.

"So?" Nnoitra deadpanned. "Only reason I knock at yer place right now is cos I hate listenin' to ya bitch."

Nnoitra finished turning the knob and opened the door, frowning when the living room was empty and quiet. Shinji came up behind him and poked him in the side.

"Idiot." he muttered, his voice quiet.

Nnoitra frowned and looked around the room. Usually the kids were making some sort of noise, at least in his limited experience with staying there, but there was literally nothing, except….

"Whazzat?" Nnoitra asked, whispering.

"What?"

The small sound he had heard before repeated and he couldn't tell if it was a whine or…

"Holy fuck." he snorted, grinning widely.

"What?" Shinji asked again, a frown pulling down the corners of his mouth.

"Shut up and listen. We came in time fer a fuckin' show." Nnoitra chuckled as he watched comprehension dawn on Shinji's face.

"Are you…?"

Another noise, this time much louder, was heard from the direction of Grimmjow and Ichigo's bedroom and Shinji blushed, turning and smacking Nnoitra in the arm.

"Idiot!" he hissed.

"Ah c'mon. Ya don't wanna listen?"

The next moan from the bedroom was louder still, this time reaching their ears with a mewling, "Grimmjow!" and Shinji began to pull Nnoitra toward the door.

"Ya big asshole. I ain't gonna sit here listin' ta this." Shinji whispered heatedly as he reached for the door knob and began to pull the door back open.

"Ah-ah… fuck. Grimm. Yeah, fuck me… just like that. _Yes_."

Nnoitra snorted and began to laugh and Shinji dragged him out into the hallway, shutting the door behind them as quietly as he could.

"Someone just _had _ta be early taday." Nnoitra teased, holding in his sides as if that were the only thing stopping him from bursting out in a loud guffaw.

"Shut up." Shinji continued to blush and leaned against the wall near the door.

"Man, that could be us ya know? Coulda just stayed and fucked and, see, we wouldn't'a missed nothin'." Nnoitra reached out and ran a finger up the back of Shinji's arm as he spoke and almost laughed when the blond smacked it away only to glare at him.

"I said shut up."

"Ah, don't get all bitchy Blondie. C'mon ta the roof to smoke with me." Nnoitra tried to bargain. He was pretty sure they'd have a bit of time to kill from the sound of it.

"It's cold outside." Shinji huffed, following Nnoitra anyway as he strode off to the emergency stairs. He couldn't believe Ichigo was doing that in the middle of the day, and with the front door unlocked! Idiot. He was surrounded by idiots.

Nnoitra ignored him and took the stairs two at a time as they ascended, smirking at the quiet mutterings Shinji was making behind him. Once they reached the top and opened the door they were both blasted by the cold wind. Shinji shivered and scowled at the weather, glad that at least it wasn't raining at the moment. Nnoitra, on the other hand, was suddenly assaulted by unwanted memories as a deep and dull pain began to throb in his shoulder at the cold. The last time he had put himself willingly out in weather like this for an extended period of time was when he had finally caught up with the man who he had been looking so long for, almost four months ago. Ulquiorra had been with him, the annoying little shit, and they had snuck up to the building unnoticed by the shitty guard dogs the man had set out. Really a child could have wandered aimlessly up and none of them would have seen it.

Ulquiorra shot every one of them after affixing the silencer over the muzzle of his gun before he turned his giant green eyes to Nnoitra and told him to do his job. Nnoitra had sneered at the small man and gone inside without a word. It was so ridiculously clichéd, the entire situation. An empty abandoned warehouse. A man with a gun and a righteous attitude blabbing on and on about justice and whatever the hell else. Nnoitra didn't want to hear it, he didn't care. All he wanted was to get what he came for and leave. He was beyond fucking tired of this shit. But of course the man wouldn't shut up and Nnoitra had been forced to fight, not that it had taken much to get to that point.

Too bad for Nnoitra, the man was fast - impossibly fast given the fact that he had been told this man was blind- and dodged every one of his punches and kicks. Nnoitra had gotten frustrated, he didn't like guns, rarely used them and didn't have one on him at the moment, and slipped up, leaving himself open for the man to catch him. A bullet went straight through his shoulder and he grit his teeth, now more angry than he had been before but before he could do anything about it something knocked the man out of his field of vision. The man stumbled and clutched the side of his head as dark red blood seeped from a large gash. They turned as one to see Ulquiorra standing there with a long thick, hollow pole in his hands, his face blank.

"You're taking too long." the small man said and swung the pole again, knocking the man's feet out from underneath him.

Ulquiorra didn't wait for the man to get his bearings and instead slammed the pole down into the middle of the man's chest, the sound of cracking bone loud in the large empty room. Nnoitra watched as Ulquiorra twisted the pole, his face still expressionless, and clutched his wounded shoulder. He watched the life drain from the man's eyes as blood pooled beneath him and trickled out of his slightly open mouth.

Nnoitra had been six years old the first time he saw a dead body. It was high summer and he had just gotten home from terrorizing some stray dogs, shirtless and barefoot as his summer dress code dictated. He smelled it first, even before he walked inside. The heated stench of death that seemed to waft out of the open windows and when he opened the door it hit him like a tidal wave. Even as old as he was he knew what the smell meant. His stomach clenched and if he had eaten that day he knew he would have thrown up. He took a deep breath of what fresh air he could get before straightening his slim back and walking inside. "uncle" Takashi, one man in a long line of "uncles" Nnoitra's mother had brought home, had been sleeping on the couch when Nnoitra had snuck out that morning, or so he had thought. Now that the sun had risen and the room was lit with more than the sickly blue from the television screen, Nnoitra saw that this man must had died some time last night.

The heat had made the thin body bloat around the middle and Nnoitra moved closer, curiously kicking at a sock clad foot. His body recoiled a bit when the foot didn't move and he took a step back, waiting for the man to wake up. He'd seen the shows about zombies on late night television, sitting up with drugged out adults as they did whatever it was they did had been fun, a treat for the young boy, but now the images came back to him and he couldn't help but wonder if that could happen with this man. Nnoitra found a broom and poked at him, jumping back when he could have sworn he heard a groan. He snorted and straightened again, whacking the body with the hilt of the broom and watching carefully to see if it reacted.

That's how his mother had walked in on him; mid swing. She had screamed so loud he'd dropped the broom and covered his ears. She tried to slap at him and missed, tripping over the wooden hilt of the broom and falling face first into the lap of "uncle" Takashi. Nnoitra hadn't stuck around to see what happened after that, opting instead to run as fast as his long legs could carry him away from the house, his mother, and the stench.

He had seen many bodies after that, in varying states of decomposition and gore. Still, until that moment, he hadn't seen someone so methodical in their dispatching. Ulquiorra pulled the hollow iron pole out of the man's chest with a sickening _schlup_, and Nnoitra curled his lip. Large, emotionless green eyes turned to him as Ulquiorra set the pole beside the body and stood to his full height, cocking his head to the side as he regarded the taller man. His face and clothes were spattered with blood and matter, bloody rivulets like tears running down his cheeks.

"Clean up this trash." Ulquiorra instructed before walking calmly away.

Nnoitra looked down at the body, the huge gaping hole in it's chest and face covered in dark red blood and thick black dreadlocks, and curled his lip further. Nnoitra was not a cleaner. Nnoitra was a hunter and a fighter. He kicked the body and walked away from it, his head held high. This wasn't his job. Ulquiorra could find someone else to do his dirty work.

"Nnoi, tell me somethin'?" Shinji started, startling Nnoitra from his thoughts.

"Odontophobia is the fear of teeth." Nnoitra muttered distractedly, reaching up to rub at his aching shoulder.

"What?" Shinji asked incredulously, looking up at Nnoitra with a frown.

Nnoitra grinned and flicked his cigarette away, brushing off the memories with ease. "Elephants are the only mammals that can't jump."

"Shut up." Shinji snorted, shaking his head slightly. "I meant tell me somethin' about while ya were gone."

Nnoitra grunted and fished out another cigarette, lighting it and inhaling deeply before replying. "Like what?"

"I dunno." Shinji sighed, folding his arms over his chest and scooting closer to Nnoitra in an attempt to get warmer.

"I ate some bad sushi and got sick all over a cabbie." Nnoitra smirked and Shinji rolled his eyes.

"More."

"I found what I was lookin' for. Had to listen ta stupid little bitch and a retard the whole flight back ta Japan." Nnoitra grumbled.

"Was… was that the job ya said ya were gonna refuse?" Shinji edged, his voice quiet and nearly taken away on the gust of wind that hit them.

"Aizen needed me ta find a coupl'a kids. Turned out one was his daughter and another was this handicapped kid she cared for."

"Ya never told me he had a kid."

"Che, like you'd care anyway. Anyway, one of Aizen's old employees didn't care for the way he was raisin' the bitch and decided to take matters inta his own hands. So, me bein' the best, he asked me ta find them."

"Musta been pretty hard ta find if it took ya two years." Shinji muttered darkly, knowing that that wasn't nearly the entire story but glad that he had finally heard _something_. Even if it did leave a bittersweet taste in his mouth. Now that he had some answers, surely Nnoitra would start asking his own questions.

"It's fuckin' cold." Nnoitra announced suddenly, pushing away from the wall and looking down at Shinji's bowed head. "Let's go see if they're done fuckin' so we can eat."

"All ya think about is food." Shinji mumbled, shivering and hunching his shoulders as he too pushed off the wall.

"Not all." Nnoitra grinned and pulled Shinji close, wrapping his arms around him and burying his nose in this soft, fragrant hair.

Shinji sighed and pressed his nose into Nnoitra's neck, giggling when the taller man shivered and tried to pull away.

"Fuck, yer nose is like fuckin' ice."

"And yer neck is warm. C'mere." Shinji grinned, clutching Nnoitra's shirt tighter and pressing his entire face close to the warm skin of Nnoitra's neck.

Nnoitra chuckled and let go with one hand, reaching up and lifting Shinji's chin with a crooked finger. Their eyes locked for a moment and Shinji sighed, eyes dropping briefly to Nnoitra's lips. Nnoitra bent and brushed his own cold nose against Shinji's before he let out a cloud of moist, hot air from his mouth.

"I can warm ya up." he said, letting his lips brush against Shinji's gently.

A slow smile stretched Shinji's lips and a soft giggle bubbled up. "I bet ya can, but I think we should just go back inside."

Nnoitra snorted and licked at Shinji's lips once before pulling back and grinning. "Aw c'mon. Ya don't wanna fuck around on the roof when it's freezin' out?"

"Idiot." Shinji rolled his eyes before pushing out of Nnoitra's arms and walking towards the propped open door.

* * *

Ichigo answered the door with his face still flushed and knew the instant he saw Nnoitra's face that he and Shinji knew what he had been doing almost moments before. He cleared his throat and let the two men inside, shutting it quietly and whispering for them to all go to the kitchen. They could speak normally in there without fear of waking the kids just yet. Grimmjow was sipping a beer from a can, leaning up against the counter, and nodded to Nnoitra when he came in the room. Nnoitra smirked.

"Yo. Ya always leave the front door unlocked when ya fuck yer bitch?"

Ichigo made a strange noise, something between a whine and a groan, and Grimmjow laughed quietly, shaking his head.

"Whoops."

"You did that on purpose!" Ichigo accused and Grimmjow grinned, pulling the younger man towards him and kissing his cheek.

"Shut up. We were in a hurry to put the kids in bed and I forgot."

"Don't worry, Blondie wouldn't let us stay for the whole show." Nnoitra threw in and Ichigo scowled at him.

"Who told you, you could just walk right in to people's house's anyway?"

"Enough." Grimmjow said quietly against Ichigo's hair. "Tell them the good news."

Ichigo's face suddenly transformed, his scowl morphing into a full blown smile and his eyes lighting with joy. He bit his lip and looked at Grimmjow behind him.

"I get to tell them?" he asked and Grimmjow nodded.

Ichigo turned back to Nnoitra and Shinji and bit his lip again. "Grimm bought us a house."

Shinji's mouth dropped open and he stared, not sure if he had heard Ichigo right. They had been talking about it before the babies were born but as far as he knew they hadn't even started looking. Nnoitra grinned at Grimmjow and stepped forward, slapping the man's shoulder.

"Right on, man. You were bitchin' about that when I got back. I guess yer gonna make me help out with the movin' right?"

"Damn right. Payback for all the times I let you stay here fer free." Grimmjow handed Nnoitra a beer and wrapped an arm around Ichigo's chest, pulling him flush with his own body.

Shinji and Ichigo left the room shortly after when one of the triplets started fussing and Shinji elbowed Ichigo in the ribs.

"You okay with him doin' this on his own?" he asked before he reached for Tomoe.

"You should see the place Shin. It's perfect for us. Everything we talked about and more. And yeah, it would have been nice to help out with everything but I just didn't have the time and Grimmjow did." Ichigo replied, making quick work of a dirty diaper.

"Can ya two really afford this with Grimm not technically workin'?" Shinji asked.

Ichigo sighed. "He's going to go back to work after the new year. Him and Yuzu have been talking about daycares behind my back too. I swear," Ichigo stopped and turned to Shinji with a small scowl. "Those two are getting way to close."

Shinji chuckled. "Maybe it's cos he never had siblings?" Shinji guessed and Ichigo shrugged.

"C'mon. I need to start dinner."

* * *

Dinner was gone and Ichigo and Shinji were on the floor trying to coax the triplets into crawling while Grimmjow and Nnoitra fought over what movie to watch. Shinji used the distraction to fix Ichigo with a loaded stare.

"So?" Shinji asked quietly and Ichigo sighed, looking sideways at Grimmjow to make sure he wasn't paying attention.

"Shinji…."

"If yer gonna do it I need ta know now." Shinji pressed and tickled Tomoe.

Ichigo sighed again and looked once more at Grimmjow before smirking and nodding his head. "I'm in." he said, blushing a little at the thought of what he had just agreed to do.

Shinji, not thinking about how it would look, whooped loudly and tackled Ichigo with a tight hug.

"YES! I knew you would do it Ichi." he giggled and the both of them ignored the raised eyebrows from the two men on the couch.

"Get off me idiot." Ichigo said, pushing Shinji off him and clearing his throat. Nnoitra was distracting Grimmjow again so Ichigo leaned close to Shinji and spoke quietly again. "I don't want Grimmjow to know I'm doing this though, so shut up. I want to surprise him."

Shinji snorted and grinned at his friend. "Trust me Ichi, ya go up on that stage dressed the way I have planned and you'll give Grimmjow a damn heart attack."

Ichigo ran a hand back through his hair and shook his head. "I can't believe I'm doing this again."

Shinji grinned and bumped his shoulder against Ichigo's. "Once a dancer always a dancer Ichi. You can play doctor all you want, but inside there's a stripper waitin' ta bust loose."

"Shut up." Ichigo rolled his eyes.

"Now ya gotta come over more and practice with me. We ain't got much time to get this figured out and okaachan has to finish sizin' yer corset."

Ichigo groaned and Shinji giggled. "It'll be worth it." he said in a singsong voice and Ichigo resisted the urge to back out. At least he could blame the outfit on the fact that it was a Halloween party.

Shinji stood and started to walk to the kitchen, intent on grabbing a glass of water when Nnoitra reached out and grabbed the back of his pants, yanking Shinji down into his lap. Shinji, instantly defensive, began to struggle as Nnoitra wrapped his arms around him.

"Let go…." Shinji started and stilled when a warm set of lips brushed against his neck.

"Quit movin'." Nnoitra whispered and nibbled the top of Shinji's ear.

"Let go."

"I love you."

Shinji stiffened, briefly realizing this was the first time Nnoitra had said that outside of the bedroom but knowing he had been quiet enough to to be overheard, before he groaned quietly and curled his body into Nnoitra, bringing up his knees and wrapping his arms around the larger man's neck. Nnoitra grinned and ignored the stunned look from Ichigo on the floor. Grimmjow shook his head and picked the movie he wanted to watch, turning down the volume so it wouldn't scare the kids. He only hoped the two wouldn't get too comfortable and ruin the show.

* * *

A/N So... I updated! And we got a little glimpse at China? Anyone wanna venture to guess who the "kidnapper" is? I bet yer right~ ;p Anyway, I really struggled with this chapter but I hope it turned out okay. Just a tad bit more until we get to some major drama with this story. Not gonna reveal anything but I'm sure it'll sock the hell out of pretty much all of you :D

Anyway, some news: New art over at the FC, so if you haven't ventured over there I suggest it. Link in on my profile page as always. The winner for the Halloween contest has been revealed already and it's a fantastic picture that everyone should go see with Grimm, Ichi and the triplets :D Also, NaNoWriMo starts Monday! I'm super excited about it and I'll try to not lapse in updating but just know that November will be pretty busy for me. Then again last year I managed to get a butt load of SBB done in November so we'll just have to see I suppose.

Anywho, as always, more information can be found at the club page. And again, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Sorry it took so long to get out!

~Penny


	18. Anticlimactic

Anticlimactic

Shinji had spent most of the week running between _Wank_ and _Solid Gold _making the preparations for the Halloween party as well as spending every free moment he had at his mother's with the crew going over finalizations, costume fittings and fine tuning Ichigo's slightly rusty dancing skills. He hadn't seen much of Nnoitra since Saturday because of that but he had been completely surprised when the tall lanky man had walked into his office that Tuesday after he had gotten off of work and told him that he had to go out of town for a day or two. Shinji had been so surprised that Nnoitra had even thought to come by and divulge that information of his own accord that the only thing he could do was stare up at him with his mouth slightly open and his eyes blinking rapidly. Nnoitra had smirked and kissed Shinji almost chastely before standing up straight and stating that he needed to get going so he could hurry up and get back. And then he was gone.

It was Friday now and though Shinji had heard from Nnoitra earlier that day, the man had actually called to let him know he was back in town, he knew that he was going to be too busy to actually spend any time with him. Or so he had thought anyway. He had told Nnoitra that he could wait for him at the apartment but had been shot down when he mentioned that Tesla would be there. The thought of the two alone together hadn't settled well in Shinji's stomach so he was glad when Nnoitra had flat out refused the offer with a biting, "I ain't stayin' nowhere near that faggot alone."

Fortunately though Shinji had finished things up early at work and everyone had decided to take the night off from preparing for the party since just about everything was done apart from cleaning _Wank _top to bottom. No one was really looking forward to that, even though part of the job had already been done by Ichigo and Shinji earlier, and they still had a little over a week before it absolutely needed to get done. Shinji leaned back in his chair and stretched before standing and reaching for his briefcase, giggling a bit to himself at the thought of actually having to use one in the first place. He tossed a few papers inside and locked it before grabbing his coat from the rack near his office door and flicking off the light.

Shinji pulled the edges of his long coat close around him as he opened the door and stepped out into the dismal weather, shaking his head a bit as he walked to the underground parking garage. Now that he actually had some free time that night he wondered at what he should do with it. Of course his first thoughts were of a long hot soak in the tub followed by warm sake and a good movie but Nnoitra trickled into his brain and the idea of cuddling up with the man and watching said movie was more than tempting. He slid into his car and turned it on, letting it warm up a bit before he attempted to drive anywhere. Really, it was ridiculously cold for late October. He wondered what he should do. Call Nnoitra and invite him over since he was free after all? Enjoy the night to relax by himself?

He actually had a lot to think about since he had last seen Kisuke who had reprimanded him for not coming clean about his past, or even a piece of it, after Nnoitra had willingly told him a piece of his own story. Too much of Shinji didn't want Nnoitra to ever find out about what happened, any of it, but he knew he wouldn't be able to hide it forever. Shinji flicked on the heater in his car and listened as the roar of the fans drowned out the sound of the engine. He didn't even know where to start when it came to it. What was he supposed to do, sit Nnoitra down and just tell him? How would he even start that conversation. "So… I did something bad while you were gone?" Shinji shook his head and sighed. That was a stupid idea.

He put the car into reverse and carefully backed out of his parking space, setting out on the road on his way home as his thoughts continued to mull over his situation. Halfway home he decided that whatever he was going to do that night it was going to be with Nnoitra. He had the option again of being with the man whenever he wanted and he was taking full advantage of that now. Turning the car around Shinji set off for the opposite side of town and wondered what kind of food he should pick up on his way.

* * *

Nnoitra had rarely ever felt this violated before. He stood in the open doorway to his shit-hole of an apartment and stared at the devastation that had once been his couch. And television…. The couch looked as if rabid dogs had been set upon it, large gouges and tears in the already thin fabric and stuffing pulled and leaking from the holes like it's innards had tried to escape the assault. Nnoitra's lip curled and his brow pulled together. The mattress had been pulled out and shredded, the frame that held the mattress had been bent nearly beyond recognition. Broken glass from the television screen sprinkled the tatami and Nnoitra realized that the rod he had taken from work had been used to destroy the piece of electronics. In short, his home was destroyed and was no longer livable.

"Fuck." Nnoitra muttered to himself, for the first time feeling acutely sad that he wouldn't have a place to stay. For the first time he had had something that was his and now that was gone.

He knew who did it of course, or rather who had ordered it to be done. He was getting close to Longwei and the fat little fucker had sent his dogs out to try and intimidate Nnoitra into backing off. Fat chance that. If anything Nnoitra was ready to go get the prick now and break his neck but since he had been told not to use violence he did his best at staying rooted to the ground. Only the idea of Aizen's wrath kept him in place as he had seen the man order horrible things for lesser "crimes". Hell he had been ordered to do some of those things and he had no interest in being on the opposite side of them thank you very much. Nnoitra loved a good fight more than most people but he wasn't ready to die yet. He had shit to do.

He stepped into the rubble that was once his home and retrieved a few things; some clothes that had made it through the frenzy without tears or rips, and a couple books he had been reading. He'd never admit to anyone that he liked to read, even Shinji had been kept in the dark about that, but he wasn't leaving without what possessions he could salvage. Shoving a disgustingly small amount of things in his large duffle bag, Nnoitra slung the bag over his shoulder and shut the door, not bothering to lock it. It wasn't like anything left inside was worth a shit.

As he trotted down the stairs he pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed a quick number, shoving the phone between his ear and shoulder while he fished his pack of smokes out of his pocket. At the slow drawling greeting Nnoitra sucked in a lung full of smoke and exhaled quickly.

"Yo. Let me crash there tanight." he said, looking up at the sky briefly and hoping the rain would stay away until he at least got to where he was going for the night.

"Huh, why?" asked the sleepy voice.

"I got hit and Blondie's busy tanight." he wouldn't have minded going there and waiting for Shinji to come home but Tesla was supposed to be there and he hated that faggot.

There was a loud yawn and a small cough before he received a reply. "Sure. I just picked up God of War III. It's always nice to have company while playing games."

Nnoitra hung up and called a cab after checking that he had enough money on hand for one. His scars were starting to hurt being out in this cold and he wanted to get out of it as soon as possible.

* * *

Shinji pulled up to the shabby apartment building and sighed, thinking that he should have called first before just stopping over like this. What if Nnoitra was sleeping already? He shook his head. So what? He'd wake the man up and Nnoitra would be happy to see him. And the giant bag of takeout he had picked up on his way over. Shinji had gone out of his way to make sure he had gotten food that Nnoitra, a surprisingly picky eater, would eat. He felt like an idiot for doing all of this but he had already done it and there wasn't any going back on it. Besides, there was no way he could eat all this food himself. No backing out now.

Shinji grabbed the bags of food and got out of the car, locking the door behind him and walking swiftly up the stairs. It was late and the complex was surprisingly quiet for a Friday night. Shinji made his way down the narrow hallway to Nnoitra's door, knocking quietly. The hollow sound of knuckles on wood bounced off the dingy walls and Shinji frowned when he heard nothing from inside the room. He knocked again, louder this time, and pursed his lips when there was still no answer. He reached hesitantly for the knob and turned, finding it unlocked. The room beyond the door was dark and for some reason Shinji felt the hairs on the back of his neck raise. He called out Nnoitra's name as he reached blindly for the switch on the wall before he realized that there wasn't one. The only way to turn on the light was to pull the string on the ceiling lamp in the middle of the room.

Huffing, Shinji set the bags of food by the door and stepped inside, grumbling loudly at Nnoitra even though part of him knew he was alone in the room. He tripped over something on the floor and almost fell, catching himself on the small table that held the TV and cursed loudly when he felt the palm of his hand scrape on something sharp. Shinji stood back up and reached up for the string, finally finding it after a few empty waves of his hand above his head. He yanked once, probably too hard, and the room was suddenly filled with the harsh fluorescent light for the bare bulb. Shinji didn't know how to react at first to what he saw. The destroyed couch, the TV in ruins, the refrigerator open and it's contents spilling out and laying haphazardly across the floor. He turned in a circle and tried to take everything in, his heart thudding hard and the blood roaring in his ears. What the fuck had happened here?

With a sick feeling Shinji held a hand to his stomach and realized it was bleeding. He had caught it on a piece of glass from the TV as he had fallen but he didn't really care about that at the moment. Where the hell was Nnoitra? What the hell had happened here? Images of Nnoitra fighting off men that had hunted him down for whatever reason and dragging him out of the room kicking and cursing filled Shinji's head and he closed his eyes. No, the room would be far worse off if Nnoitra had been fighting with people there. And there would be blood. Lots of blood. He knew the man well enough to know that when Nnoitra fought there was always blood involved. Shinji took a deep breath and tried to calm himself, only barely succeeding. He reached into his coat for his phone, not noticing that he smeared a bit of his own blood on the cloth as he pulled it out. He had to find Nnoitra. He had to know that he was okay. He had to stop his hands from shaking so he could dial the damn number.

Shinji took a deep breath and finally managed to get the right number dialed before hitting the send button. He waited what felt like a small eternity before someone finally picked up and a rush of both relief and anger filled him. Nnoitra laughed into the speaker before greeting Shinji and Shinji snapped.

"Where the fuck are you?"

Nnoitra grunted. "Huh, why?"

"I'm at yer place and it's fuckin'... You asshole! I thought somethin' had happened to ya and yer off havin' fun!"

Nnoitra snorted and chuckled. "Aww, ya worried 'bout me, Blondie?"

"N-no, I wasn't! I'm pissed the fuck off is what I am."

"Calm down, I'm fuckin' fine." Nnoitra said, shifting the phone to his other ear.

"Where are you?" Shinji bit out, cocking a hip and folding one of his arms over his thin chest.

Nnoitra laughed again. "I'm at Starrk's. The fuck ya doin' at my place anyway? Thought ya were busy tanight."

Shinji flexed his injured hand and frowned. "Well I'm not."

"Mmm. 'kay. So… what?" Nnoitra asked distractedly.

Shinji's jaw muscles flexed as he grit his teeth and he sighed. "I brough'cha a buncha food, asshole."

Nnoitra seemed to perk up at the prospect of food and Shinji could hear movement and what sounded like a door shut before Nnoitra spoke again. "Ya brought me food?" he asked like an eager child.

"Yeah but I'm pissed off now and I'm throwin' it away." Shinji huffed.

Nnoitra tsked and sighed dramatically into the phone. "Don't throw out good food." he said with a smile in his voice.

"The fuck ya 'xpect me ta do with it, huh?"

Nnoitra hummed quietly before answering. "Bring it ta me."

"Fuck you." Shinji hissed.

"Quit bein' a bitch."

Shinji debated hanging up and leaving the food to rot while he went back home and went about his original plan of soaking in the bath tub by himself. He could hear Nnoitra breathing into the phone, could tell that he was in a good mood and really did want to be with him at the moment, why else would he have driven all the way across town? But he didn't want to interrupt whatever it was he and Starrk were doing. Nnoitra sighed and Shinji swallowed.

"Please come over? And bring me food."

Shinji felt his lips twitch and he did his best at stopping the small snort that wanted to leave him. He shook his head and closed his eyes again.

"Why would I do that?" he asked and smiled when Nnoitra chuckled.

"Cos ya like me and ya wanna see me."

"I change my mind." Shinji's voice was softer now and he knew Nnoitra could hear the smile in his voice.

"Fuckin' liar."

"Starrk don't want me over there." Shinji opened his eyes and dropped his hand to his side as he walked across the ruined room and bent down to reach for the bags of food.

"Yo Starrk!" Nnoitra yelled, not bothering to take the phone away from his mouth. "Blondie's comin' over."

Shinji rolled his eyes. "That's not how ya ask fer things Nnoi."

"Shut up." Nnoitra said more quietly and Shinji heard Starrk reply in the background.

"Why?" asked a sleepy voice.

"Who cares ya fuckin' stoner. He's got food." Nnoitra raised his voice again and Shinji pulled the phone away from his ear.

Shinji heard Nnoitra laugh harshly before he was speaking normally once again. "Ya got enough fer all of us?"

Shinji sighed and looked at the bags in his hands. "Yeah."

"Sweet. Ya 'member where it is right?"

"Yeah." Shinji said at length.

Nnoitra signed off without saying goodbye and Shinji shut to door to his apartment behind him, not bothering to turn off the light or lock it. If Nnoitra didn't care about what happened to the destroyed pieces of furniture Shinji wasn't going to bother either. He was still upset about what he had seen but he pushed it back and told himself he'd get answers from Nnoitra later. He was tired now and didn't really want to go hang out over Starrk's house, the place was too tiny with all the furniture the man had packed into it, but he wanted to see Nnoitra enough that he slid back into his now cold car and made his way back across town.

* * *

Nnoitra answered the door with a huge smile on his face and was greeted with Shinji's frowning one. He grabbed the bags out of the blond's hands and set them aside before he wrapped his long arms around the smaller man and hugged him tightly. Shinji grunted and tried to push Nnoitra off him.

"Don't tell me yer stoned."

"I am not, fuck." Nnoitra said, kissing Shinji's cheek and pulling him inside so he could shut the door.

Starrk gave Shinji a sleepy wave before returning his attention back to the widescreen television and the game he was currently engaged in. Shinji wrinkled his nose at the smell that hung in the air before looking back up at Nnoitra. Whether or not the man had actually been smoking with Starrk it was so thick in the air that he wasn't surprised when he noticed Nnoitra's pupils were dilated and slightly glassy. Shinji sighed.

"I need ta use tha bathroom." he mumbled and Nnoitra pointed down the hallway, watching Shinji walk slowly away.

Starrk sighed and set the controller down, rubbing at his eyes a bit and reaching for the large glass of water on the coffee table in front of him.

"Is he okay?" Starrk asked, though the tone of his voice made it sound like he really could care less.

"I'unno." Nnoitra said with a shrug and began to dig through the bags of food Shinji had brought.

Shinji returned to the living room just in time to see Nnoitra dig into a box of fried rice and he rubbed his sore hand against his pant leg. Nnoitra devoured the entire box before Shinji had a chance to sit and Starrk asked if he could have some as well. Shinji nodded and prepared himself to be bored out of his mind for the rest of the evening. Eventually Nnoitra moved to the floor to take his own turn at the game he and Starrk seemed to be sharing. Shinji was drifting off when Nnoitra shouted at the TV and passed the controller back to Starrk, the older man chuckling and shaking his head. Nnoitra looked back at Shinji and smiled, beckoning him over with a crooked finger. Shinji shook his head, sticking his tongue out and grinning when Nnoitra laughed at him and stood, pulling Shinji off the couch and down on the floor with him, setting the blond in his lap. Shinji frowned but was tired enough to lean back against Nnoitra's chest and try to relax. Shinji was falling asleep again when Nnoitra suddenly grabbed his hand and lifted it to his face.

"The fuck happened to yer hand?" Nnoitra asked and Shinji sighed.

"I fell and cut it on yer fuckin' TV." Shinji yawned.

Nnoitra frowned and stared at the hand a moment longer before bringing it to his lips. The cuts weren't very deep but for some reason he didn't like seeing then on the blond. Shinji's eyes snapped open all the way and he looked up at Nnoitra's face. Nnoitra kissed Shinji's palm again before leaning forward and kissing Shinji's forehead. Shinji frowned but closed his eyes again, leaning into Nnoitra as the man linked his fingers with Shinji's.

"Stop bein' sweet, it's weird." Shinji whispered and Nnoitra chuckled quietly.

"Love you too." Nnoitra said, kissing the top of Shinji's head.

Starrk cleared his throat and didn't look over at the two. "You wanna take your turn or are you busy?" he asked and Nnoitra reached out a long arm for the controller.

"Shit, I'mma beat this fuckin' game."

Shinji finally feel asleep in Nnoitra's lap while Nnoitra and Starrk continued to pass the controller back and forth. Starrk finally got tired enough that he stood and stretched, looking down at the two on the floor and letting a small smile tilt his lips.

"You two can take the bedroom if you're going to stay here." he said quietly so he wouldn't wake Shinji.

Nnoitra raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Ya cleared it out?"

Starrk nodded. "Lily made me do it last week. Said I was a grown man and needed to sleep in a bed."

Nnoitra snorted. "Fuckin' A dude. Yer pushin' forty ain't ya?"

Starrk nodded and reached for the remote to the TV. "Are you staying?"

Nnoitra nodded and gathered Shinji's practically lifeless body up in his arms before standing. "Thanks man."

"Just wash the sheets tomorrow if you two have sex." Starrk yawned, throwing himself down on the couch and closing his eyes.

Nnoitra chuckled and walked to the bedroom, setting Shinji and the bed and stripping him before doing the same and crawling in beside him. It had been a very long time since the two of them had done nothing but sleep together but for some reason Nnoitra couldn't bring himself to wake the blond. He covered them both with the thick blanket folded neatly at the foot of the bed and pulled Shinji close before drifting off into a restful slumber.

* * *

Shinji's eyes shot open to the sound of a ringtone that made him want to smash things. Nnoitra grunted and rolled over, reaching blindly for his pants and pulling the cell phone out without checking the number or even opening his eyes.

"The fuck you want?" he greeted and Shinji buried his face in the pillow his head was resting on.

Nnoitra sat up abruptly and cursed, pulling his pants on and searching for his shirt as he zipped them up with one hand.

"How long's he been there?" he asked, sitting heavily on the side of the bed and pulling on his socks. "Make sure he stays put. I'll be right there."

Nnoitra hung up the phone and stood again, yanking his shirt over his head. Shinji groaned and began to push himself up, not exactly sure he knew where he was and not really caring at that moment. Nnoitra bent and kissed the back of his head.

"Go back ta sleep. I got shit ta do but I'll be back." he said and Shinji grunted as he dropped back to the soft mattress. He could do that. Sleep was too tempting to pass up.

Nnoitra left the room, closing the door quietly behind him, and was surprised when he saw Starrk awake on the couch and reading a newspaper. They greeted each other with a nod of the head and Nnoitra walked purposefully to the front door.

"Gotta take off fer a bit." Nnoitra said and Starrk nodded again. "Leavin' Shinji here ta sleep."

"Okay." Starrk said, not sounding bothered by that information in the least.

It took Nnoitra twenty minutes to get where he needed to be and he greeted the man that had called him with the information quietly. Nakeem pointed to the small house across the street from them and then to the three men standing out in front of it.

"There's two more in the back but he's been in there all night." Nakeem said and Nnoitra nodded, a wide grin spreading across his face.

"Ya got someone ta take care'a the grunts? We gotta do this with as little violence as possible ya know?" Nnoitra's lips curled at the thought but he didn't say anything more on the matter.

Nakeem nodded. "Pistols are filled with blanks but I've got three men for each of his."

"Good" Nnoitra said, reaching out for the gun Nakeem suddenly produced for him. "Let's get this the fuck over with, ne?"

It reminded Nnoitra of a cop movie, guys swarming from nowhere and surrounding the men that guarded the house that Longwei was supposed to be resting in. The guards gave in, unable to move with guns in their faces, and Nnoitra walked in the front door, slamming it behind him to announce his presence. Longwei came rushing out of the bedroom, speaking rapidly in Chinese and stopping abruptly when he saw Nnoitra standing in his living room with a gun in his hand.

"Yer pretty fuckin' stupid, ya know that? Ain't even got grunts in here with ya? What kinda gang lord are ya?

"How did you…?"

"I ain't supposed ta shoot ya, but I got an itchy finger so shut the fuck up. You been avoidin' Aizen and he don't fuckin' like that. Ya come with me nice and quiet and I won't blow a hole in that fat face'a yers, ne?"

"You think I'm an unarmed man?" Longwei, short, portly and darkly tanned, reached into the pocket of his thin robe for his weapon and Nnoitra pulled the trigger of his own gun, watching with satisfaction as the bullet missed one of Longwei's feet by millimeters.

"I toldja ta shut the fuck up."

Longwei gulped and the front door opened. Both men stiffened but Nnoitra's shoulders relaxed marginally when he heard the voice behind him.

"Thank you, Nnoitra. You did very well. Not a scratch on anyone." Aizen's smooth voice trickled into the room and Longwei put his hands up in front of him.

"I… I… I…."

Aizen walked into the house, his footsteps loud against the hardwood floor, and said quietly, "Shut the door, Ulquiorra."

Nnoitra's lip curled and he placed the gun in the back of his pants. Aizen walked to Nnoitra's side but kept his eyes on Longwei.

"You may stay or leave, Nnoitra. Your job here is done either way." Aizen said and Ulquiorra appeared at his other side.

Nnoitra grunted and turned. He didn't want to know what was going to happen. He was happy that his job was finally done and he could finally give living a normal life a try again. He walked to the door and opened it, slamming it shut behind him as he left. It felt wrong to end things this way but he shook his head and tried to ignore the empty feeling the entire encounter left in his gut. He missed fighting. The men outside were all being shoved into vans and driven away, the others that had come to help were already drifting back into the darkness they called home. Nakeem nodded to Nnoitra before getting into a car that looked far too small to fit his body and Nnoitra shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked back to Starrk's apartment.

Starrk was still awake but Shinji was still sleeping and Nnoitra took a moment to sit on the couch with the man. Starrk handed Nnoitra steaming cup of coffee and smiled.

"I just poured it." Starrk said and Nnoitra drank deeply, before reaching back and pulling the gun out of his pants.

"I need ya ta hide that till Shinji leaves." he said, looking at the bedroom door to make sure Shinji was at least still in the room.

Starrk looked at the pistol and back to Nnoitra before reaching out and taking it out of his outstretched hand. "You didn't shoot anyone did you?" Starrk asked casually and Nnoitra grunted.

"I wish." he said under his breath and downed the rest of the coffee before standing and leaving the room.

Starrk stood as well, setting the gun in a locked drawer before grabbing his wallet and keys off the table. "Lock up when you two are finished." he said before walking out the front door without a backwards glance. Nnoitra grinned and shook his head.

Shinji was still laying face first on the bed, the covers had been pushed back so that the top of his ass was showing and Nnoitra smiled to himself as he stripped once more and crawled back into bed with Shinji. Shinji muttered something in his sleep and Nnoitra grinned, pulling Shinji close and waiting to see if the blond kept talking. Shinji smacked his lips and furrowed his brow before relaxing and muttering something else. Nnoitra pressed his lips against Shinji's ear and whispered, "What?"

"No."

Nnoitra smirked. "No what?"

"… said no more."

Nnoitra waited as Shinji frowned and licked his lips, trying to roll away from Nnoitra.

"No more, Szayel."

Nnoitra's grin faded instantly and his eye narrowed to a glare. Why the hell was Shinji dreaming about that man?

"No more what?" he pressed and Shinji whined, curling his body into Nnoitra's.

"No more movies."

Nnoitra continued to glare, not understanding what Shinji meant by that, but he could tell that Shinji was starting to stir. The blond pressed the flat of his hand against Nnoitra's bare chest and a small smile pulled at the corners of his mouth.

"Mmm… Nnoi." Shinji whispered, and rolled closer to press his lips against Nnoitra's pectoral.

Nnoitra grabbed Shinji's hand and pulled it from his chest, hoping to wake the blond enough to figure out what the hell he had been dreaming about. Part of him knew it was stupid to be upset over a dream -choosing the word "upset" over jealous deliberately- but he really couldn't help himself. Shinji's tongue peeked out and he licked at the slightly salty skin, flexing the fingers of the hand Nnoitra was clutching. Shinji began to spread small kisses over the skin and Nnoitra slowly let his grip loosen. He couldn't resist Shinji when he did things like this without being goaded into it or drunk. Shinji's hand went back to Nnoitra's chest and he began to play gently with one of his nipples as he teeth scraped over a prominent collar bone. Nnoitra sucked in a breath and decided questions could wait for later. He rolled Shinji onto his back and took charge, bringing their mouths together and letting their tongues tangle and taste. Shinji's hands slid up Nnoitra's chest as they kissed and twined behind the man's neck. His hips rolled up and Nnoitra hummed quietly as he spread Shinji's legs and settled between them.

Shinji pulled away from the kiss and took a deep breath before he turned his head and sank his teeth into Nnoitra's bony shoulder. Nnoitra's hands were on either side of Shinji's hips and he lifted the blond off the bed as he ground their cocks together. Shinji let out a small moan and whispered Nnoitra's name against his skin. Nnoitra licked Shinji's neck and pressed their centers together once more, one of his hands moving to caress the cleft of Shinji's ass. Shinji spread his legs further and wrapped one of them around Nnoitra's hip, swiveling his own hips to create more friction. Nnoitra grabbed his cock and pressed it to Shinji's entrance, rubbing the head against it and spreading the precum that had gathered there over the twitching hole. Shinji sucked in a breath and shook his head, biting his lip and furrowing his brow.

"Fuck." Nnoitra grunted, pushing himself up on one arm and looking around the room quickly. Starrk had a night stand and Nnoitra hoped there was something he could use in there.

Luck held out and there was a small bottle of hand lotion sitting on top of an old book in the top drawer. Nnoitra grabbed it out and squirted a small amount in his hand, slathering it over his cock and tossing the bottle aside. Shinji was moving beneath him, rocking his hips and begging silently for Nnoitra to hurry things up. Nnoitra licked his lips and pressed himself once more to Shinji, this time pushing the tip passed the tight muscle there. Shinji gasped quietly and lifted his other leg, wrapping that one around Nnoitra's other hip and crossed his legs at the ankles. Nnoitra closed his eye and sank deeper inside Shinji, his breath hissing out when he was finally seated snuggly in. Shinji whined and kissed Nnoitra's shoulder again, letting teeth and the metal of his tongue ring scrape against the skin before he sought out Nnoitra's mouth.

With both hands on Shinji's hips Nnoitra began to move, rocking his hips and pulling out halfway before gliding back in. Shinji met his slow thrusts with gentle twitches of his hips but soon found that it wasn't nearly enough. His fingers pulled at Nnoitra's hair and he bucked his hips, mewling out Nnoitra's name when the larger man slammed forward into him. Nnoitra shifted his angle and almost laughed when Shinji cried out, his head arching back and his hands leaving Nnoitra's neck in favor of grabbing at the wrought iron headboard above their heads. Nnoitra quickened his pace, spurred on by the sounds that Shinji was making for him. He let go of Shinji's hips and levered himself on the bed, snapping his own hips forward and groaning when Shinji arched his back and nearly screamed. Long legs tightened around Nnoitra's hips and with a short series of rapid, hard thrusts, Shinji moaned loudly and came, milking an orgasm from Nnoitra as his muscles tightened around Nnoitra's cock.

Panting heavily, Nnoitra fell on top of Shinji's trembling form and kissed the side of his head sloppily. Shinji grinned and let go of the headboard in favor of running his fingers through Nnoitra's long hair. Slowly they caught their breaths and Nnoitra moved, sliding out of Shinji and falling to his side on the bed next to the blond. Shinji curled into Nnoitra and sighed, kissing his chest a few times as his own heart rate finally returned to normal. Nnoitra took a deep breath and pushed his hair out of his face, noticing that Shinji had finally opened his eyes and was looking up at him sleepily. Nnoitra wanted to say something, felt the words on the tip of his tongue, but they seemed to stick there. He cleared his throat and tried again, this time managing to speak but saying nothing anywhere near what he had wanted to say.

"The fuck you dreamin' 'bout Szayel for?"

* * *

A/N *evil laughter* So, for those of you that tried to guess in the last chapter about who the kidnapper what, it was Tousen. More questions and answers int eh next chapter. Actually, a lot of questions and answer :D FINALLY~~ Anywho... I'd REALLY like to hear from you guys about what you think and thanks so much for reading. Also *ahem* CLIFFHANGER~~~~~~ Mwahahahahahahhahah~

*Ahem*

Enjoy~

~Penny


	19. Sins Of The Past

Sins Of The Past 

"The fuck you dreamin' 'bout Szayel for?"

Shinji couldn't stop his eyes from going wide but he tried to cover the action by immediately rolling them.

"What are ya talkin' about?" He asked, shifting on the bed and yawning quietly.

"Ya were talkin' in yer sleep again. Ya said his fuckin' name." Nnoitra growled, the anger from earlier at hearing Szayel's name from Shinji's lips filling him once again.

"Nnoi, it was a dream…." Shinji started.

"The fuck said ya could dream 'bout other men while were in bed tagether?"

Shinji gave Nnoitra an incredulous look and sat up enough to rest his weight on one of his elbows.

"Ya can't tell me what I can and can't dream about, stupid."

"The fuck was it 'bout?"

Shinji rolled his eyes again. "I don't know. It was just a stupid dream. Who cares?"

"I fuckin' care. I hate him and I don't want ya dreamin' 'bout him."

"I'll inform my subconscious of that." Shinji muttered, sitting up and moving to get out of bed.

"The fuck you goin'?"

"Well if yer just gonna sit here and yell at me for somethin' I fuckin' _dreamed _about, I'm gonna go home." Shinji began looking for his clothes as he stretched his legs out in front of him and sighed. There went the morning sex euphoria.

"Did you an' him fuck around while I was gone?" Nnoitra asked point blank and Shinji's entire body froze as he bent for a sock.

"D-does it matter?" he asked quietly and he heard Nnoitra growl from behind him.

"Fuck yeah it fuckin' matters!" Nnoitra reached out and grabbed Shinji's upper arm, yanking him back to the bed and forcing the blond to face him. "You date 'im?"

"No." Shinji said through gritted teeth and tried in vain to free his arm from Nnoitra's grasp.

"But ya fucked, right?"

Shinji sighed and looked down at the bed, reeling from the suddenness of change in the atmosphere. "Yes." he said in a quiet voice and winced when Nnoitra's grip tightened on his arm.

"The one fuckin' guy ya should'a known was off limits…."

"What off limits?" Shinji snapped. "You were fuckin' gone, Nnoi! We weren't together anymore and I could do whatever the hell I wanted!"

"But not him! Any fuckin' one but him! Shit, the whole fuckin' island but him!" Nnoitra shouted back at Shinji, squeezing his arm even tighter.

Molten honey colored eyes met Nnoitra's violet one and Shinji yanked on his arm again. For some reason Shinji couldn't place that last comment hurt. Bad.

"What else. What else didja do that you ain't sayin'?"

"I'm not…."

"Bullshit! God, yer the worst fuckin' liar out there. Ya think I can't tell when yer hidin' somethin' from me?" Nnoitra cut him off.

"Fine, _Nnoi_, then why don't _you _tell _me _what happened in China? Why don't _you _tell _me _why it fuckin' took ya two fuckin' years to find two fuckin' kids! Or why ya been skippin' outta town lately. Or maybe ya could even start with why the fuck ya got a call at six in the mornin' on a fuckin' Saturday and left like the house was on fire?" Shinji slapped at the hand that was still gripping his arm tightly and tried to hold back the snarl in his voice. "Don't fuckin' come at me and start demandin' things when ya ain't willin' to answer anythin' yerself."

Nnoitra sneered. "It ain't as excitin' as ya think and I don't like tellin' borin' stories." he said from between his teeth.

"So what? Ya want answers from me then ya gotta give a little too, asshole." Shinji would have crossed his arms if he could but instead settled on glaring up into Nnoitra's narrowed amethyst colored eye.

"Fine ya stupid little bitch. Ya wanna know what took so long?"

"YES!"

"I got fuckin' lost. There's a lot of fuckin' people in China and the fucker moved around a lot and one of the places they stayed at was in the middle of a fuckin' jungle and I got fuckin' lost."

Shinji stared with wide eyes and face gone slightly slack, the lower half of his arm now numb from Nnoitra's grip. _He got lost in a jungle?_ Shinji's brain didn't have time to compute this fully before Nnoitra was launching into his own special brand of story telling.

"After I made it back from fuckin' hell I fucked up and messed with the wrong person and pissed off a bunch'a stupid Triad lowlife bitches and every fuckin' time I got close ta Tousen and the kids one'a them fuckers would show up and out me and they'd run and I'd have ta start lookin' all over again. And besides the fact that my Mandarin ain't all that fuckin' good, people don't like ta talk to giants there. But finally, _finally _I found 'im and ended up gettin' shot fer my trouble and I didn't even get ta kill the fucker because emo-bitch-Ulquiorra got in my fuckin' way and put a gaddamned hole in the guys' chest."

"Ya got shot?" Shinji asked breathlessly, his stomach suddenly rolling at the thought of Nnoitra bleeding from various holes in his body, but Nnoitra ignored him.

"I get back here only ta get sent out again to grab this dude that won't pay on a loan because Grimm don't do that shit no more and Aizen was pissed I just left Tousen's body layin' out for anyone ta find. We're both fuckin' lucky I'm even alive after that stunt." Nnoitra added offhandedly. "And then, that fat fuck Longwei follows me over here to 'get revenge' for what I did ta his son and causes a whole buncha shit, an' Aizen's pissed 'cos Longwei helped out Tousen so Aizen put me on findin' the fucker since part of this was my fault. So this mornin' I got the call that we found him and I went ta collect but yet again I got cockblocked from doin' anythin' and was told ta go home."

Nnoitra took a deep breath, sharply inhaling through an open mouth, and narrowed his eye at Shinji's shocked face. "And then I get here and yer talkin' 'bout that pink haired fuckass in yer sleep like the fuckin' toppin' on the fuckin' cake." Nnoitra sneered again and leaned forward slightly, menacing air coiling around Shinji's body as if tangible. "Yer turn, Blondie."

Too many questions swirled in Shinji's head at Nnoitra's words but the underlying fear that now he had to say something won out. He couldn't get his brain to work, his mouth to move or produce enough saliva to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. He didn't want to say it, didn't want to put to words what he had done in Nnoitra's absence. Didn't want to see Nnoitra's disappointment in him or have him any more angry than he already was. Shinji shook his head and the grip on his arm tightened enough he was sure the bones would crack.

"Talk."

"I… I don't want to." Shinji stuttered, refusing to meet Nnoitra's fierce gaze.

Nnoitra's other hand reached for Shinji's other arm and he gripped that one tightly as well before shaking Shinji. "Fuckin' talk. Yer the one that wanted to do this so bad so open that big mouth 'a yers and spill it."

"I…." Shinji paused.

Nnoitra shook Shinji harder, rage filling him even though he was uncertain why.

"Talk!"

"I shut down!" Shinji shouted, eyes focusing somewhere in the middle of Nnoitra's chest as the damn broke and the words began to tumble out like flood. "After ya left I didn't care about anythin' anymore. I wanted to ferget everythin. Booze, drugs, sex, anythin' to getcha outta my fuckin' head. You'd go away fer a while and I'd slow up on the pills and then I'd remember ya fer some reason and I was back in a gutter, out of my mind, didn't care where I was or who I was with. Then Szayel came…. He offered me another out. Better drugs, safer sex and money. So much fuckin' money." Shinji's breath hitched as his head filled with unwanted memories of how he had lived his life for nearly a year and he realized that tears where pouring from his unblinking eyes.

"What…? Money?" Nnoitra asked quietly, steam seeming to have left him at Shinji's words.

"I… I did his… I acted in his… movies." a sob tore through Shinji's body and his throat began to close up. He didn't want to say any more. He'd said enough for Nnoitra to hate him as it was.

"H… how many didja do?" Nnoitra asked, his hands falling from Shinji's arms and his voice a mix of shock and something else Shinji's could place a the moment. Or didn't want to.

Shinji shook his head, closing his eyes as silent sobs shook his shoulders. "I don't know." his voice broken and barely above a whisper.

"How many?" Nnoitra repeated, voice stronger and demanding.

"A lot." Shinji said, the words catching on a breath of air and barely reaching Nnoitra's ears.

It was coming now, Shinji knew it. Nnoitra was going to call him a whore and he knew that's exactly what he was. Of all the stupid things he had done in his life nothing had gone as far as the time right after Nnoitra left town. Nnoitra was going to leave him again and it would be all his fault. Again. He felt like his chest was ripping apart and the only thing he wanted to do at that point was run away. Run away and dig out his sleeping pills and take as many as he could so he'd drift off and never have to feel like this again. Never have to hurt or be hurt ever again.

"I'mma fuckin' kill 'im." Nnoitra snarled suddenly and Shinji's tear stained face snapped up to look at him.

"W-what?"

"I'mma kill 'im. How… that… FUCK!" Nnoitra stood up and started pulling his clothing on as Shinji watched him in a confused daze. He didn't understand what was going on here. Didn't understand who Nnoitra was mad at and why… why he wasn't yelling and Shinji for what he did.

"Nnoi, what…?"

"Don't ya see, ya fuckin' idiot? He preyed on ya. He saw ya the way ya were and he fuckin' knew ya wouldn't say no. Damn it!" Nnoitra pulled his pants up and neglected to button them as he searched for his shirt.

"But… but I'm a… I'm dirty. Why… why aren't ya yellin' at me?" Shinji asked, his voice breathy and confused.

Nnoitra stopped and looked down at Shinji still sitting on the bed and frowned. Nnoitra bent forward and placed a knee on the bed beside Shinji's hip, leaning close and forcing eye contact.

"Ya still doin' it?" he asked, his voice deadly quiet.

Shinji shook his head once, hard. "No. I quit a while ago."

Nnoitra's eye searched Shinji's face before he reached up and brushed one of Shinji's tears off his cheek with his thumb.

"Didn't I fuckin' tell ya ta stop cryin'?" Nnoitra whispered in a husky voice and Shinji closed his eyes as another sob shook his body. "I get pissed I didn't get ta kill no one taday and yer worried 'bout why I ain't yellin' atcha fer fuckin' around like ya did." he muttered with slight exasperation to himself and kissed Shinji's forehead.

Nnoitra pulled back and cupped Shinji's face in both of his large hands, titling up Shinji's chin up with his thumbs and waiting for those red rimmed honey eyes opened again. His stomach clenched as he realized just how much he cared about this man and the emotions that thought brought up made him want to run from the room and never look back while at the same time clutch Shinji to his chest and never let go. Sure, he was pissed off that Shinji took things as far as he did. He didn't like thinking that Shinji had been with other men, for money of not. Hated that he had recorded it for anyone who had enough money to pay for it to see. Was beyond furious that Shinji had resorted to drugs, was worried about his health and well being; that thought alone making his stomach roll within it's confines. But most of all and above everything else, he loved him.

Nnoitra swallowed hard and felt his lips twitch as his mouth tried to open so that he could say the things he wanted and most likely needed to say. He cleared his throat and licked his lips before the words finally came, surprisingly level and clear.

"I love you, Shinji."

It was the first time he looked into Shinji's eyes and said those words since the first time he had let them out, but this time things were far different. He watched Shinji's eyes widen, the pupils dilate, and then fill with tears. Shinji's chin trembled and he let out a small hiccup before launching into Nnoitra's chest and wrapping thin but strong arms around Nnoitra's neck.

"Why?" Shinji croaked out through shaking sobs. "I'm dirty. I'm a whore. I'm a drug addict. How could you love me?"

Nnoitra snorted and awkwardly brought his arms around Shinji's shaking shoulders.

"I gotta have a fuckin' reason?" he husked, feeling sappy enough not to list out all the reasons at that moment. "'sides, I ain't 'xactly perfect neither, idiot."

Nnoitra found himself rocking slightly as Shinji let it all out, tears falling fat and heavy against Nnoitra's neck and shoulder and sliding down his chest. He really wasn't sure what else to do at the moment and felt more than a little uncomfortable with everything. And he was still itching to get out and kill Szayel. He wasn't going to let that fucker get away with using Shinji like that. Finally Shinji seemed to calm down, the only sound in the room the soft sniffles coming from the blond man. But first he figured he should make sure Shinji got home safe and the sheets from the bed at least got stripped. He'd take them to a Laundromat later.

"You done?" Nnoitra asked in a gruff voice and Shinji nodded weakly, loosening his tight hold on Nnoitra.

"Sorry." Shinji whispered and Nnoitra grunted.

"Get dressed."

While Shinji dressed Nnoitra stripped the bed and tossed the dirty sheets in the corner to deal with later before he finished dressing himself. By the time they got out to Shinji's car -Nnoitra having ripped the keys from the blond's hands stating that he was better off driving- he was eager to get Shinji home so he could get on with his business of murder. Shinji was quiet most of the drive, thinking about everything that they had discussed that morning. Most of what Nnoitra had told him had just made him want to know more and ask more questions but he couldn't decide where to start. Finally, with a quiet voice, Shinji picked one and went with it.

"What did you do to that guy's son?"

Nnoitra was quiet a moment before grunting a reply. "I fucked 'im."

"Oh." Shinji's mouth tightened but he tried not to feel anything. It wasn't like he had kept his pants on the last two years.

"Longwei is a fuckin' homophobe. Thought I raped his faggot little shit and the little fuckhead didn't deny it."

"That…." Shinji looked up at Nnoitra and frowned. "What a shit."

Nnoitra grinned and chuckled. "Yeah."

Once they arrived at Shinji's apartment Nnoitra practically forced Shinji into the shower, slamming the door behind him and stomping down the hall to Shinji's bedroom, ripping the door open. Before he killed Szayel he had one other thing to do.

Fifteen minutes later Shinji exited the bathroom clad only in a towel and padded to his room to change his clothes. The shower had felt good, relaxed his over stressed muscles as the scents of his washes helped to ease his mind a bit. However, when he turned into his room and found it being torn apart he stopped dead and felt his mouth drop open.

"Wha… what are ya doin'?"

Nnoitra looked up from a box that contained loose photographs and narrowed his eyes.

"Yer gettin' good at hidin' things. Where the fuck are they?"

"Where are what?"

"Yer pills. I'm fuckin' flushin' them before I leave."

Shinji understood the panic that suddenly swelled in him, he'd been to rehab before, he knew he was addicted but he had been so careful lately. Mostly. Surely he could keep at least _some _of them.

"But…"

"I ain't leavin' till they're gone, so fuckin' tell me or I tear the room to pieces."

Shinji had never won a staring contest with Nnoitra yet and this time was no different. What felt like hours but was probably less than a minute passed and Shinji sighed, walking into the room and reaching into his bedside table. He twisted his arm and felt blindly on the underside of the top and pulled out six bottles that had been tapped to the wood. He set them on the table top and sat heavily on the bed, realizing for the first time just how many he still had. And could still get. Nnoitra scooped them all up without saying anything and set off for the bathroom to flush them all away. He hated pills. Shinji continued to sit on the bed, digging the ball of his foot into the carpet, before he bolted out of the room and ran down the hall.

"Wait!" he said, just as Nnoitra had opened one of the bottles.

"I ain't stoppin'."

"Just… leave me a couple for my knee. I'll need them after dancin' at the party."

Nnoitra looked into Shinji slightly wild eyes and shook his head. "I getcha a heating pad."

"But…!"

"Look, ya need sleep, I'll fuck ya till ya pass out. Ya hurt, I'll rub ya, put heat on it, cold… whatever. Y'ain't keepin' none'a these."

Shinji whined quietly as Nnoitra dumped the first bottle in the toilet and quickly flushed it. Nnoitra reached for another bottle and did the same.

"J-just… just…." Another bottle was gone and Shinji's hands started to shake.

Nnoitra reached for the sleeping pills and Shinji's body lurched forward. "Wait, damn it!"

"No."

Shinji took a deep breath, he knew this was a good thing but he couldn't get parts of him to realize that fast enough.

"Just… promise me something, okay"

Nnoitra stopped and glared, deliberately removing the cap off the small bottle in his hands.

"What?"

"Don't…," Shinji's eyes flickered to the bottle and he closed them briefly. "I'll shut up if you promise not… not to hurt Szayel."

"WHAT?"

Shinji flinched as Nnoitra's voice bounced off the walls and rang in his ears. "It's not his fault. I didn't have to say yes ya know."

"I don't fuckin' care!"

"Please! Just forget about him."

Nnoitra's body was nearly shaking with rage and he was sorely tempted to hit Shinji for his stupidity. _Time to be an adult, Nnoitra,_ he thought to himself and tipped the pill bottle into the toilet.

"Fine." he grabbed the last bottle and ripped off the cap, noticing that Shinji's eyes were on it rather than him. "But if I catch ya with one more pill, I get ta kill 'im."

The contents of the bottle joined the rest in their watery grave and Shinji watched them swirl a few times before they were gone. He nodded and felt his body sag as he leaned into the counter top. Nnoitra grabbed the bottles up in his hands, he wasn't going to leave them there just in case, and started to leave when he noticed how white Shinji had gotten. He frowned.

"You okay?" he asked in a gruff voice.

"I feel sick." Shinji replied quietly and took a shaky breath.

Nnoitra snorted and grinned. "You'll get over it." he said confidently before leaving the room.

Shinji sighed and gave the toilet one more fleeting glance before he too left the room.

* * *

Ichigo stood on the stage at _Wank _and sighed. He sure hoped that he didn't feel so stupid come the party. Shinji cranked up the small stereo they had brought with them and grinned up at him.

"Dance baby."

Ichigo scowled. "Shut up."

Shinji hopped up on stage with Ichigo and grabbed the pole at the end, spinning in a quick circle before leaning his back against it.

"C'mon. Ya need ta do it." his grin grew and a thin brow cocked. "Or are ya chickenin' out?"

"I am not!"

"Then do it." Shinji goaded.

Ichigo let out another sigh and grabbed the pole he was next to, looking over at the stereo and scowling harder. "I don't like this song."

"Quit bein' a damn baby and make love ta that pole."

Ichigo gave Shinji a wry look before he bent his knees and spread his legs, dipping low before rolling his hips up until he was standing again. Shinji clapped his hands together and giggled.

"See! You can do it."

Ichigo looked away, no doubt trying to hide the blush on his face, and cleared his throat. "This feels as weird as it did back then, practicing with just the two of us."

"Put yer mask on then stupid. And here." Shinji hopped back off stage and reached for a can of beer, tossing it to Ichigo. "Drink that."

"Don't try and get me drunk just so I can dance with you." Ichigo grumbled but popped open the beer just the same.

"How are things with you and Nnoitra?" Ichigo asked after a bit. It was Tuesday, four days from the day of the party, but he hadn't been able to talk much with Shinji since the Friday before. When Shinji had called him that morning he had sounded tired and still looked it.

"Good. We ,uh… talked… about stuff. Things are… good." Shinji hedged, cracking open his own beer and drinking half of it down before his eyes met Ichigo's.

"Really? Then why do you look like shit?"

Shinji sighed and walked back to the stage, sitting at the edge. "You'll be happy ta know he threw out all my pills. Said he'd help me sleep by fuckin' me till I passed out but… that hasn't really been workin'."

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "I don't want to hear about your sex life Shin."

Shinji smirked. "You asked." he teased.

"Did he really throw out your pills?"

Shinji nodded. "Flushed all of them."

Ichigo frowned. "That's not how you properly dispose of medication, Shinji. You should have taken them back to the pharmacy and asked them to do it for you."

"Yes doctor."

Ichigo smacked Shinji in the arm and Shinji winced, the bruising there far from better. Nnoitra's grip during their fight at Starrk's house Saturday had left him with a large ring of deep purple bruising on his upper left arm and they had only just started fading. He remembered the look on Nnoitra's face when he realized they were there later that evening. A mix of anger and shame swirled in violet depths and Nnoitra reached for Shinji's wrist tentatively. It was fascinating to watch Nnoitra be gentle at times. Nnoitra lifted Shinji's arm and looked at the marks he had made, frowning at them as if that would make them go away. They had been sitting on the couch and Shinji shifted uncomfortably before Nnoitra bent forward and placed a series of gentle kisses against the flesh. Shinji's breath caught in his throat as Nnoitra kissed all the way around the arm and then up Shinji's shoulder to his neck. He never apologized for what he had done, at least not with words, but to Shinji the kisses had been enough.

"We got a lot of work to do." Shinji said, breaking his thoughts and pushing himself up. "Let's get to work."

* * *

"Goddamnit!" Nnoitra growled as he looked down at the bright orange head in his arms. Tomoe was currently gnawing on his pectoral like an infant rooting for a nipple and he realized for the first time that she had cut her first tooth since he had held her last.

Grimmjow chuckled as he juggled both of the boys. "Ichi doesn't like it when ya cuss around the kids." he pointed out.

"Yeah well he ain't fuckin' here and fer some fucked reason I am." Nnoitra grumbled and tried to pry Tomoe off him.

"I didn't have anyone else to help me out today. The movers are at the house and I needed to get some shopping done."

"Can't believe I'm fuckin' _shoppin_' with ya." Nnoitra continued to grumble. It was so… fucking domestic. It made him feel slightly sick.

Sorin was fussing and trying to wiggle out of his fathers' arms and it was everything Grimmjow could do not to drop both the boys. They were on their way to _Wank _to pick up Ichigo so they could finish up and go home for the night. It was their first night in the house and all of them were excited by this. Grimmjow just hoped that the kids would sleep the whole night through so he could "enjoy" the house with Ichigo. They still hadn't gotten a chance to make love in the house yet but he was bound and determined that they would that night. Nnoitra finally managed to unlatch Tomoe from his chest and held her out in front of him, the wet of his shirt uncomfortable against his skin.

"Why do you like me so much?" Nnoitra asked Tomoe and the small girl gurgled at him. "And I don't taste good so knock it off."

Grimmjow snorted and shook his head as they finally reached the building they were looking for. He waited for Nnoitra to open the door for them as he lacked the free hands to do it himself and they both entered… and froze at what they saw. Shinji was laughing his ass off at the edge of the stage, his back to one of the poles and his arms loose around his middle. A few empty beer cans scattered the stage but what caught Grimmjow's attention was Ichigo. On Ichigo's face was a plain black mask covering the upper half of his face and a grin. The orange haired man was wiggling his ass quickly from left to right, his hands resting on top of his head. He did one slow swing from right to left before his dipped quickly and stood, returning to his "ass dance" of before. Shinji cackled and finally fell to the floor of the stage, rolling a little at the sight.

"This is what you call work!" Grimmjow called out finally after picking his jaw up off the floor.

Ichigo stopped dead and looked over his shoulder seeing Grimmjow with a wide almost feral smile on his face. His face flushed white before going deep crimson and he dropped his arms. Shinji was at this point laughing so hard he was silent and curled in the fetal position where he lay.

Nnoitra walked to the stereo and turned it down all the way, the sudden silence in the room almost palpable. Nnoitra moved to the stage and sat next to Shinji, waiting to be acknowledged. Grimmjow finally reached Ichigo, who had finally taken off the mask and gotten off the stage, and handed Sorin over.

"What the hell was that?" Grimmjow asked and he heard Shinji snort but that was it.

"I…." Ichigo started and found himself unable to say anything else. He distracted himself by ruffling Sorin's thick blue hair.

"Are you drunk?"

"No!" Ichigo defended.

"So no excuse then huh?" Grimmjow chuckled.

"I was just… messing around." Ichigo voice was so quiet Grimmjow barely heard it over his own growing laughter.

"Ah! Ichi. Ya killed me." Shinji said, sitting up with Nnoitra's help and wiping tears from his face. "I'm dead. Can't dance Saturday."

"Shut up." Ichigo muttered.

"Why don't you dance for me like that?" Grimmjow asked, trying to ignore another round of giggles from Shinji.

"Sh-shut up!" Ichigo, who had started gaining back his normal color, flushed again and scowled.

"C'mon. You can christen the new house by strippin' for me tonight." Grimmjow leaned forward, leering. "Nostalgic, ne?"

"Do it Ichi! Ya need practice!" Shinji shouted and grabbed Tomoe from Nnoitra's arms, kissing the top of her head and rubbing noses with her.

"Shut up!"

This sent Shinji into another fit of giggles and Nnoitra shook his head. It was nice to see Shinji in a good mood. He'd been so snappish lately it was starting to piss him off. Grimmjow kissed Ichigo's cheek and stood up straight.

"Seriously, I'm tired. Let's get these monsters home."

Ichigo sighed, hoping that Grimmjow would forget what he had seen yet knowing that it was impossible, and settled Sorin on his hip. "Fine."

Nnoitra and Shinji helped Grimmjow and Ichigo take the kids out to the car and watched them drive away, one big, rowdy, happy family, before they walked back inside _Wank_. Shinji was still struggling with his giggles and Nnoitra shook his head.

"The hell were ya two doin'?" he asked, wishing he had seen Shinji's dance if he had been doing one.

"I finally talked Ichigo inta doin' a dance for me and eventually he did that. I couldn't believe it. We hadn't drank that much." Shinji let out a small giggle before composing himself. "But once his mask was on it was like the old days again."

Nnoitra pulled Shinji close, careful not to touch his injured arm, and kissed the top of his head. "Finish up here and let's getcha home."

Shinji smiled to himself and pulled away, grabbing the stereo and sighing. "Four more days." he muttered and then smiled brilliantly. "I can't wait!"

Nnoitra shook his head and the left together, locking the door behind them.

* * *

A/N Well I hope this was worth the wait. Had to lighten things up at th ened after all that emotion ;p ALso, for those of you that haven't already seen the new art, please head on over the the fanclub, link on my profile page, and check out the submitions. And we're also having another contest and I would LOVE to have more people submit this time :D Anywho, would love to hear thoughts. Penny is off to relax for the night!

Enjoy~~

~Penny


	20. Nostalgic… Sort Of

Nostalgic… Sort Of

"Oh, Ichi-chan it looks wonderful!" Etta exclaimed as she spun Ichigo in a circle. Shinji nodded from the other side of the living room distractedly and Ichigo blushed.

"I feel stupid." he said, trying to take a deep breath and only half succeeding. They had done it, Etta and Shinji had finally gotten him to dress in drag, though the outfit he was currently in was most definitely _not_ what he had had in mind the first time Shinji had suggested he do so.

"Here, put these on yer nipples."

"Okaachan, can you please not say nipples?" Ichigo groaned and gave a wary look at the things in Etta's hands.

"Oh grow up Ichi-chan. Yer a daddy now. Sayin' nipples is just fine. Now put the pasties on."

Ichigo made a face and Etta ignored him, turning back to help Hanataro unbraid Shinji's long hair. Shinji had insisted that his hair be wavy for the show and the night before Etta and Yumi had set it in four tight braids. He may have looked ridiculous all night and most of the morning but he knew the effect would be wonderful. Today was the day of the Halloween party Shinji had been planning for well over a month and he was so excited he could barely sit still. His mother was a bit upset that she would be missing his performance, she had only ever managed to see a handful of them at the club before he had had to quit dancing and knew her son was very good at what he did, but Isshin was taking her out that night and Shinji had practically ordered her to go. It was, to her, as if he was finally giving his blessing to her relationship -such that it was- with the man.

Speaking of the devil, the front door opened and everyone in the room turned to see Isshin take one step inside the house and freeze, wide eyes falling on his beloved son. Ichigo stood in front of a mirror, long legs incased in fishnet stockings, hips in dark booty shorts and waist covered in shiny leather, and face scrunched up as he tried to affix an X shaped pastie over his left nipple. Ichigo turned, mouth dropping open and the pasties falling to the floor as he tried to get the words, "It's just a costume!" out of his mouth. Before he could however, Isshin stepped out the door backwards and shut it quietly. Etta sputtered and leaned into Shinji as a fit of giggles struck her, causing everyone else in the room, except for Ichigo, to laugh as well. Poor Isshin. Ichigo groaned and bent to pick up what he had dropped and Shinji sighed, looking over at Yumi who was busying himself by carefully applying his make up.

A week prior Shinji had approached the older man with a bit of a dilemma. They needed a DJ for the party and the one Shinji trusted the most was most likely not someone he could call on for one reason. Yumi. They had been at work when Shinji called Yumi into his office and broached the subject.

"Yumi, I gotta ask ya somethin'." Shinji started, already slightly uncomfortable.

A perfectly sculpted black eyebrow arched over a violet eye and Yumi's head cocked to the side as he regarded Shinji. "Yes?"

"It's about… music." Shinji sighed and decided to just say it and get it out of the way. "I wanna ask Ikkaku to DJ but if that's gonna be an issue with you I won't bother. I don't wanna ruin yer ev'nin'."

Yumi looked quickly away from Shinji and cleared his throat as a thin, long fingered hand raised to his mouth. His bottom lip disappeared between his teeth and Shinji frowned in sympathy. He knew it would be tough for Yumi but he had to ask. After a moment Yumi sighed and closed his eyes.

"It won't be an issue because I won't make it an issue. It would be far too ugly to have an argument in public. Again." Yumi said quietly.

"If yer sure…."

Yumi straightened in his seat and looked Shinji in the eyes with startling clarity. "It's fine. He is the best around and he's familiar with the club's equipment. Do what you feel you need to Shinji."

Shinji smiled softly, his heart going out to the other man, and nodded. "Thank you."

Now that Shinji looked at Yumi he could tell the man was nervous about that night. Ikkaku and Yumi hadn't seen each other since their blow up at the club over six months ago and he just hoped the both of them could handle it. When Shinji had gone to speak with Ikkaku about it he had been expecting a bit of a fight, but the normally quick tempered and confrontational man was subdued and almost soft spoken the moment he had seen the blond. They hadn't spoken long, just long enough to discuss the plans for the party and confirm that Ikkaku was even interested.

"You… think it's a good idea fer me to be there?" Ikkaku had asked and Shinji nodded.

"I already talked with Yumi 'bout it and he says it's fine."

Ikkaku had sighed and run a hand over his bald head. "Alright then. If he's okay with it." he said before sipping a glass of amber liquid Shinji recognized as brandy. After another quiet moment between them Ikkaku looked up at Shinji and then quickly away before asking in a quiet voice, "So... how is he? I mean... is he doin' okay?"

Shinji gave Ikkaku the same soft smile he had given Yumi and nodded. "He's good, Ikkaku."

The man had sighed and closed his eyes before standing up abruptly and asking if Shinji wanted a drink. Shinji declined and left, saying that he would contact Ikkaku later with more details. It was painfully obvious to Shinji that Ikkaku still had feelings for Yumi but he wasn't going to meddle. Even if he had had the time to, this wasn't something he wanted to push one way or the other. It was far too fragile a situation and he knew too well that sometimes outside influence could only make matters worse.

Etta finished running a fine toothed comb through Shinji's hair and smiled at him, kissing his cheek. "All pretty now." she said and Shinji smiled at her.

"Thanks okaachan."

"Alright boys, I'mma go take a shower. Ya know where everythin' is." Etta said in a breezy tone as she left the room to ready for her date with Isshin.

"Yumi, ya 'bout done? I need ya ta bun up my hair." Shinji called out and Yumi blinked at his reflection.

"Almost." he said as he applied mascara to his lower lashes. If Shinji didn't know rather intimately that Yumi was indeed male he would have thought the man a woman at that moment. He was beautiful.

Shinji had changed his mind on his outfit at least a million times and had finally, upon randomly dropping into a second hand store, found the perfect dress. The dress was unique, which he loved, open completely at the back from the back of his neck to the middle of his ass, showing off a bit of ass cleavage. The sides were split from just above the bottom of his ribcage and left open to the floor where the thin, shiny black fabric skirted the floor. There was another slit, this one in the back, that went up almost all the way to the opening at his back. The dress sported a high neck and was sleeveless. This is were his creativity had come in. The dress, though revealing in the back, covered him completely in the front and he wanted to keep the theme going so he had searched high and low and finally found a pair of long black satin gloves that covered his arms up to the shoulders where the dress left off. To prevent the dress from flapping all over the place Etta had sewed a strip of elastic banding together and wrapped it around just above Shinji's knees, holding the loose edges of the fabric to his body but making it awkward to walk. He would put the banding on once they got to _Wank_. To top the entire outfit off he was going to have his long and now wavy hair placed in a tight bun at the back of his head held in place by a decorative sword shaped stick. Accompanied with the large gold fan he would be using for the show and the thick black kohl around his eyes he hoped his comeback would be as great as he thought it was going to be.

Hanataro's hand brushed against Shinji's leg and the small man exclaimed quietly. "Did you shave your legs?" he asked and Shinji smirked.

"Nope. Yumi, Ichi and I got waxed this mornin'. I'n'it soft?" Shinji had gone a little overboard with things and ended up divesting his entire body save his head of hair but… he found he rather liked the feeling of it. Even if it had hurt like a bitch getting it done.

Finally Yumi was done with his makeup and he asked Shinji to follow him to the kitchen so he could do his hair right. Hanataro left the room to call and check in with his wife who was staying home with the kids. She had never really expressed an interest in watching Hanataro dance even though she gave her full support of it. Ichigo was busy painting two neon purple stripes on his black face mask so for the most part Shinji and Yumi were alone. Shinji sighed contentedly as Yumi ran his fingers through his hair and reached for the comb to being pulling it back.

"Excited?" Shinji asked with a smile.

Yumi smirked behind him and gathered Shinji's hair in a pony tail. "Actually yes. I expect tonight to be rather fun. And of course I look fabulous so that just makes it better."

Shinji snorted, glad that Yumi seemed to be mostly himself. "Ya sure yer okay?" he asked more quietly and Yumi sighed, tugging on Shinji's hair unnecessarily hard.

"Quit asking me that. I'm fine."

Shinji rolled his eyes and shut his mouth in favor of keeping all the hair he had on his head where it was supposed to be. He wondered what Nnoitra was up to….

* * *

"Dude, seriously? A business suit?" Nnoitra scoffed at Grimmjow's "costume" choice as he leaned back on the couch.

Grimmjow cocked an eyebrow at his friend. "This is not a business suit, idiot. It's just… dressy."

"Lame."

"Fuck you. What the hell're _you _supposed to be anyway?"

Nnoitra looked down at his costume and sneered. He hated dressing up for Halloween, hadn't even done it since he and Grimmjow had been living with Szayel and his father. But he had promised Shinji that he would do _something _so here he was in a rented outfit he normally wouldn't be caught dead in. He was wearing a starched white shit with a high collar, a dark blue cravat with silver pin, a black vest and slim black slacks. There was a waist coat that came with the outfit but Nnoitra didn't feel like wearing that was well. The sleeves of the shirt were too poofy and he felt almost trapped when he put the damn thing on. He had his hair tied back with a ribbon the same color as his cravat and the patch over his eye was made of black satin. He even had shiny black dress shoes to complete the package. And he felt ridiculous. The only part about his costume he liked were in his mouth and he smiled widely up at Grimmjow showing off his "fangs" that made his grin look even more menacing.

"I'm a fuckin' vampire, what's it look like?"

Grimmjow snorted and grabbed his coat. He was, for all intents and purposes, wearing the same outfit he had worn when he had taken Ichigo to the movies in Osaka all those years ago. White collared shirt, black slacks, tie loosely drawn and white suspenders.

"Yeah well… I still look better." Grimmjow finished lamely and looked up when Yuzu and Jinta walked into the living room from the nursery.

"Oh Grimmjow, you two got this place together really well in such a short amount of time." Yuzu exclaimed and Jinta stuck close to her side. He seemed rather intimidated by Grimmjow and Nnoitra and Grimmjow couldn't help but smirk at that.

Nnoitra snorted and stood up, brushing his pants and feeling like they were far too tight on him. "That's 'cos he made me help."

Yuzu just smiled up at Nnoitra. "Well thank you." she said politely and Nnoitra frowned. This girl was weird.

He looked at Grimmjow. "We goin' now?" he asked, eager to get the hell out of there and away from the little girl's creepy smile.

"Yeah yeah. The kids asleep?" Grimmjow asked Yuzu and she nodded.

"Yes. You go have fun at your party." she said brightly.

It was dark and cold outside by the time they got to _Wank _and Nnoitra was glad they were finally there. He knew what was happening tonight, more than Grimmjow that is, and he wanted to hurry up and see what Shinji had in store for him. He was actually a little jealous that he would be dancing in front of everyone and not just him as he had yet to get a private show from the blond, but he pushed that aside in favor of just being able to see it happen for the first time in four years. Shinji never disappointed when it came to things like this. He also knew that Ichigo was dancing tonight, a fact that Grimmjow had been kept in the dark about. All Grimmjow knew was that Ichigo was helping out tonight. It made Nnoitra chuckle under his breath and Grimmjow gave him a strange look as they walked inside the club.

It was packed with party goers spilling out onto the streets and lively as either man had ever seen it. Each of them searched for their man, Grimmjow for Ichigo and Nnoitra for Shinji. It was hard to hear much but Nnoitra was sure he heard Grimmjow make some kind of noise and when he turned to him he saw him staring across the room with wide eyes. Nnoitra frowned and looked in the same direction as Grimmjow and finally locked his eye on Ichigo's leather clad form. His mouth dropped open and he too stared, never having guessed that the Kitty Bitch would wear something like _that_. Ichigo seemed to catch Grimmjow's eyes and smiled, reaching up and toying with the mask that was currently perched atop his head as he slowly weaved his way through the crowd to them. He had added a pair of tall Goth style boots covered in metal buckles and a bright purple thong under his booty shorts to his outfit and all Grimmjow could do was stare.

Ichigo scowled. "What?"

"We're leaving." Grimmjow said, grabbing Ichigo's arm and starting to pull his towards the exit.

Ichigo rolled his eyes and stopped Grimmjow easily. "Stop it. You know I can't leave and you just got here right?"

Grimmjow's eyes were fixed on the tiny shorts his boyfriend was crammed into -barely- and he shook his head. "Don't care." he said distractedly. Oh God how he wanted to tear everything off Ichigo and fuck him right there. No wait, he'd leave the fishnets and probably the corset on. Grimmjow shivered visibly at his thoughts and Ichigo scowled and blushed as if he knew what Grimmjow was thinking. Fuck the pink negligee he had always wanted to see Ichigo in. That idea was out the fuckin' window now that he saw this.

"Where's Blondie?" Nnoitra asked, and Ichigo looked out into the crowd.

"He was just next to me but we're pretty busy. He's probably off talking with Ikkaku though." Ichigo answered, slapping Grimmjow in the arm and finally getting the man to look him in the eyes.

"Geez. Now I know how girls with big boobs feel." he muttered to himself and Grimmjow grinned.

"Yer wearin' that to bed tonight and I'm gonna make you scream."

Grimmjow yelled it out over the noise and more than a few heads turned in their direction causing Ichigo to scowl and blush even more. Nnoitra snorted and stilled as his eye caught a flash of gold hair. It was Shinji alright, his hair pulled back into a bun and his body encased in close fitting black. Or so Nnoitra thought until the blond man turned around and flashed a large expanse of pale, naked skin in Nnoitra's direction. Nnoitra licked his lips as he let his eye rake over Shinji's thin form and he half hoped he wasn't drooling. Shinji laughed at something that was said and Nnoitra realized he was wearing some kind of makeup on his eyes, making then darker and almost sultry looking. Even from across the room they looked smoky and beckoning. Shinji finally caught sight of Nnoitra standing there and let a slow smile creep onto his face before he moved across the floor towards him, his steps almost gliding.

Shinji smiled widely when he caught a full view of Nnoitra's outfit and let his eyes travel slowly over the tall man. Nnoitra swallowed hard when he saw Shinji's eyes up close, the smoky almost wet look amplified and making the honey color in his eyes seem almost gold. Shinji cocked an eyebrow and spun in a slow circle, stretching his arms as wide as he could.

"What do ya think?" he asked, licking his lips when he was once again facing Nnoitra.

Nnoitra grinned, showing off his fake fangs and he watched in delight as Shinji's smile grew. "I think I'mma bite'cha later." he growled and Shinji giggled.

"Yo, Shinji. Shouldn't we get things started?" Ichigo asked, knocking Grimmjow's straying hand away from his crotch almost absently.

Shinji grinned widely and nodded. "Yup."

Shinji reached up and grabbed the front of Nnoitra's shirt, pulling him willingly down into a short and wholly unfulfilling press of lips before he was flitting off with Ichigo at his side. The lights in the room dimmed as Shinji and Ichigo both appeared on stage and the room quieted a bit as the majority of the eyes moved to them. Ichigo had pulled his mask into place and he had a wide and giddy smile on his face. He and Shinji could both feel it, the rush in their veins at the impending show. God how they had missed this feeling.

"Welcome back ta _Wank_!" Shinji said clearly through the antique looking microphone he held and the gathered crowd clapped. "Y'all ready ta see some half naked sexy dancers?" Cheers went up this time and Ichigo rolled his eyes. "I think ya c'n recognize this one here, ne?" Shinji's arm slithered around Ichigo's waist and his head briefly rested against his shoulder.

"Strawberry Bad Boy!" one man screamed out and Ichigo laughed, taking a small bow.

"Ya wan' 'im ta dance fer ya?" Shinji asked and had to take a step back at the force of the reply. He laughed and patted Ichigo's shoulder. They hadn't talked about order but Shinji had figured it was best to start the night off with a bang. Somewhere in the crowd he was sure Grimmjow was having a heart attack.

"Then show 'im some love and let's get this party started!"

Ikkaku, hearing his cue, started up the heavy beat and Shinji left Ichigo standing alone in the middle of the stage. Ichigo took a deep breath and smirked, letting his body take over and his mind shut off. His hips moved in time with the beat and he brought up one of his hands to his bright and spiked hair. Somewhere between leaving Grimmjow's side and getting on stage Ichigo had taken off the heavy boots he had been wearing. It would have taken too long to get them off while dancing and wouldn't have been on bit sexy. He turned his body, angling his ass to the crowd as he began to pull one of the netted arm guards off and tossed it casually to the stage. He grabbed the pole in front of him and dipped fast, bucking his hips as he turned again and reached a hand down tugged at the booty shorts. He popped two of the eyehooks open and showed off the front of his purple thong before grabbing one of the straps and playing with it. With his other hand he reached up and circled a finger around one of his X covered nipples and his skin prickled at the sound of the crowd. God, how he had missed this.

He ended up on the stage, back arched and smile even wider as people began to throw money on the stage for him. Any money the strippers received tonight was going to the hospital's charity to cure cancer so he delightedly grabbed them up and stuck the notes in his thong. He slipped the booty shorts off and rolled over, arching his back again as he writhed and unbuckled his corset. He rolled his body and sat back on his knees bending backwards as the last buckle on is corset was loosened and the heavy leather and metal contraption fell to the stage. Ichigo bucked his hips and ran a hand down his chest, lightly cupping his crotch to finish off the move before he was up again on his feet. All that was left on him now was the thong and his thigh high fishnet stockings. He grabbed the pole at the end of the stage and bent backwards again, running a hand back through his hair and searching the crowd from Grimmjow. He found him, mouth open and staring just like he thought he would be, and blew him a quick kiss before the song ended and the lights dimmed. Hanataro helped him gather the yen and Ichigo hopped off stage feeling more exhilarated then he had in years.

Shinji returned with his microphone and smiled at the crowd as it called for an encore. "We got plenty more where that came from." Shinji promised and the lights changed to a soft blue. "I'm sure you all remember, Ruri'iro Kujaku." he said in a playful voice as he backed off stage and a slow song began to play.

Shinji watched from afar, eyes flicking between Ikkaku's stare and Yumi's slowly revealed body. It was almost painful to watch really, though no less beautiful. As soon as Yumi was done dancing he smiled sweetly at the crowd and helped Hanataro gather the notes off the stage, never once looking in Ikkaku's direction. Shinji sighed, his heart going out to the bald man. He hoped the two could find a chance to at least talk soon.

The night continued thus, Shinji announcing the dancers and the dancers thrilling the crowd with their show. He managed to mingle a bit, running into old patrons who remembered him well and missed him greatly. He avoided Nnoitra, noticing that Ichigo was doing the same with Grimmjow. It wasn't that they didn't want to be with the men it was more that they knew if they approached the they wouldn't be getting away any time soon.

It was getting late, only a couple dancers were left to go and Shinji once again went on stage to announce to next person. Before he could open his mouth though Ichigo jumped up next to him and stole the microphone from his hands.

"You all ready for the next show?" he asked without preamble and Shinji frowned. The crowd roared it's answer and Ichigo laughed. "How about we get someone else from the old _Wank _crew for you?" Ichigo looked back over his shoulder at Shinji and smirked. "Maybe a little blond?"

Shinji's lips twitched and he shook his head. The crowed roared.

"Once again, for yer viewing pleasure," Ichigo said in a thick and cheesy voice. "Solid Gold!"

Ichigo planted a quick kiss on Shinji's cheek before jumping back off stage and disappearing into the crowd. Shinji took a deep breath and closed his eyes as the song he had chosen to dance to that night started. It was slow and deep, something he had always loved when dancing in the past. His eyes snapped open as the lyrics started, "Com'ere rude boy, boy can ya get it up. Com'ere rude boy, boy is you big enough." It was a remixed version of the song but he found himself more in love with it dubstep than the original. The bass pulsed over his skin and he let it move his body, hips swaying and undulating and hands gliding over the smooth black fabric of his dress. The first thing to go was one of the long satin gloves he was wearing, pulled off with a pair of white teeth and dropped casually to the stage. He hadn't had the golden fan that he had planned to use on him when Ichigo had announced that Shinji would be dancing next, but it didn't matter. Shinji bent and unsnapped one end of the band holding the flaps of the dress together, spinning slowly and he let that too fall slowly to the stage.

He reached for one of the poles, wrapping one long leg around it and sliding it up and down as he threw his head back He spun around once before kicking off the stage and wrapping his legs around the pole, letting his body stretch gracefully down the cool metal and his fingertips graze the floor beneath his head. He reached between his legs and grabbed the pole, opening his legs wide and arching his back as far as it would go before hooking one ankle around the pole and letting his other leg stretch out horizontally, keeping his back arched. Shinji then pulled off his other glove and looked out at the crowd, licking his lips and letting his teeth sink into his bottom one for a brief moment. He let go of the pole with his hand and ran both of them over his chest again, finishing by caressing his face and hair gently. He rolled his hips before sliding slowly down the pole and untangling his leg, bending backwards and placing his feet on the warm wood to stand.

Shinji turned his back to the crowd and reached behind him for the zipper that held the neck part of the dress together and flicked it open, letting it slip down over one shoulder before plucking the decorative wooden sword from his hair. A long wavy golden curtain shielded his back as he let the dress fall and Shinji closed his eyes, rolling his head back and shaking it out before turning and lowering himself to the stage. Shinji spread his knees wide, arching his back and stretching out so that his chest was almost flush with the floor. He dipped his hips once, twice, slowly raising them again before rolling over and running his hands slowly over himself again. The song faded and the gold lighting dimmed before he was plunged into a brief darkness. Shinji gathered his dress and slipped it back over his head as he helped gather the notes. His body was practically singing with joy and when someone grabbed his upper arm and began to drag him backstage he found himself not much caring at the moment. The hand felt familiar and it made his body hotter than it had been moments before.

Shinji was thrust into his old office and slammed against the wall before an eager and aggressive pair of lips where on him, kissing, sucking and tasting him. Shinji kissed back, just as willing and large hands gripped his hips, lifting them and slamming them back into the wall behind the desk. Shinji wrapped his legs around a lean pair of hips and ground himself into the arousal he knew would be there. He pulled away from the mouth on his and looked up into a dark purple eye, grinning.

"Ya like my show?" he asked in a breathy tone and Nnoitra growled in answer, using one hand to pin Shinji's wrists above his head and the other to grip behind a smooth knee and spread long pale thighs.

Shinji moaned as Nnoitra pressed against him and sank his teeth into his neck, the sharp plastic fangs cutting into the skin and just barely breaking it. Nnoitra reached between them, letting go of Shinji's leg for a moment and pulled the dress out of the way before unzipping his pants and pulling his thick, hard cock free. Shinji moaned and felt his skin tighten over his body when Nnoitra's flesh brushed against his inner thigh and he arched into him, trying to pull his arms free and reveling in the fact that he couldn't. Nnoitra ungracefully spit into his hand, running it over his cock before pushing aside the thin gold thong Shinji was wearing and running the tip of it over Shinji's hole.

"Always wanted ta fuck ya here." Nnoitra grunted as he pushed inside, heat and friction greeting him like an old friend.

Shinji whined and bit his lip, his breath hitching as Nnoitra immediately began to move. Nnoitra grunted and let go of Shinji's wrists, spreading Shinji's legs and placing both hands flat against the wall at Shinji's hips.

"Keep yer hands up there." he husked and Shinji dutifully obeyed, stretching them further above his head and making himself slightly uncomfortable. Nnoitra's thrusts became more erratic and Shinji's moans had escalated to the point where, had he cared enough to think about it, they could almost be heard over the thumping music from the front of the club. Nnoitra's mouth brushed against Shinji's and he pulled back slightly to look into a pair of honey colored eyes.

"God I fuckin' love you." he whispered and Shinji smiled up at him, his eyes barely able to stay open for lust.

"L-love you… too." Shinji moaned, eyes rolling as he came between them. Nnoitra thought that was the most incredible thing he had ever heard and he too came, groaning and grinding himself into Shinji as he lowered his head and captured his lips once more.

Neither Nnoitra nor Shinji noticed that there was another couple backstage, nor that they could be seen clearly through the window into the office. Yumi smiled and turned away, walking away from the happy couple with a man he hadn't talked to in months. Ikkaku, taking a short break, followed behind him and together they stepped out into the alleyway.

* * *

The night had been a complete success. Everyone had enjoyed themselves immensely and they had raised over one million Yen for the charity fund. Everyone left with smiles on their faces and gone home to either make love or pass out. Ichigo and Shinji came back the next day to clean up, taking their time as the both of them were quite sore after their men had finished with them the night before. Shinji's knee wasn't as painful as he thought it would be but it had still swollen a bit and he had placed a thin brace over it just in case.

Life moved on and for an entire week it was blissful for Shinji. He was so happy that a part of him started to wonder when all of that was going to fall away. He wasn't used to being this happy but was doing his best to enjoy it while he could, something Kisuke was encouraging eagerly.

It was a Sunday when he got the call as he was just leaving work and he was both surprised and wary when he saw who it was. He answered it, intending to tell the man that he was busy but he wasn't given a chance to speak.

"I need you to come over here immediately." Szayel's voice came through the line clearly and with a hint of agitation. It set off alarm bells in Shinji's head and the blond frowned.

"I'm tired." he said simply.

"Shinji," Szayel started, voice lacking any of the false sweetness it usually showed. "We have a problem that doesn't seem to want to go away and it would be _nice _if you could assist me."

Shinji sighed. "I don't…."

"Just get over here." Szayel snapped and hung up.

Shinji looked at his car as he debated on what to do. Part of him was telling him to just go home and ignore the man, he was nothing but trouble and Shinji was enjoying life as it was too much to want to fuck with that. Another part of him was nearly dying as the curiosity began to eat at him. Fine, he'd stop by for a moment and leave as soon as he could. He just wanted to see what Szayel wanted and he was out.

The drive didn't take as long as Shinji had expected and in no time he was there, stepping outside into the cold November air and jogging to the front door of Szayel's father's ridiculously big house. The door was opened by a stern faced man who didn't speak and Shinji was led to a room off a short hallway. Szayel was standing in front of a window with a glass of wine in his hand and a deep frown on his face. Shinji's brows pulled together and he cleared his throat to get the pink haired man's attention.

Szayel gave Shinji a tight smile before sweeping his hand across the room and pointing out that they weren't alone. Shinji's eyes widened at the small woman struggling to stand up from her position on the couch. She finally got to her feet and smiled weakly at him, resting one hand on her ample belly. Szayel sneered and broke the silence.

"This, is our problem." he said, his voice dripping with barely concealed rage and disgust.

"What?" Shinji was confused. Who was this woman?

The woman pushed a bit of long black hair behind one of her ears and spoke. "My name is Nana Ito. We met about nine months ago at one of Szayel's parties." she said in a quiet voice and something began to stir in Shinji's memory.

Szayel set his glass down hard enough for wine to slosh over the sides and he pointed at Nana with a deep and slightly disturbing sneer on his face.

"This money grubbing whore is trying to say one of us knocked her up."

Shinji's heart stopped in his chest as denial clogged his throat and made it impossible to breathe. How… how could that be? There was no way he was involved with this.

"I…." he started, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach. "What?"

Nana blushed and looked at the floor. "You probably don't remember, I'm surprised I do actually. We were both on whatever Szayel was passing out that night. But the three of us…," Nana paused and looked up at Shinji with watery eyes. "One of you is the father of my baby."

Shinji remembered blinking and swaying before suddenly the world went black. This was the ending of the bliss he had been expecting.

* * *

A/N HAPPY BIRTHDAY NNOI~! So, I bet NO ONE *save for the three that knew about it when it was still forming in my head* guessed THIS was gonna happen *insert evil laughter* Ah, Penny just wants to laugh at it all~~ I'm so mean.

Anywho, song time! The song Ichigo danced to is here: http : / www . youtube . com /watch?v=wH-MsZ-oxMI **(take out the spaces for all links)**

Shinji's song: http : / www . youtube . com /watch?v=-Kv3BkWnhIc

Anywho, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and please let me know what ya thought. I'mma go kick it for the rest of Nnoi's birthday and think naughty thoughts.

~Penny


	21. Fate? repost with added info at end

****Repost with more added... kinda****

Fate?

"Don't move. It disgusts me to watch you move." Szayel snapped at Nana as her body leaned forward in shock and he walked over to where Shinji had fallen in a crumpled heap on the floor. Really, such a disgrace for a man to faint.

Nana bit her lip and frowned as she watched Szayel lift Shinji off the floor and shake him until pale brown eyes fluttered open. Shinji frowned and struggled to push Szayel away, reaching to touch the back of his head and rub at the pain that was there. He had just had the strangest dream. However, when he blinked at his surroundings he realized that it hadn't been a dream after all. Shinji stood up shakily, his eyes darting to the large mound that he was told could possibly house something he had helped create and his stomach lurched. This could not possibly be happening. He swallowed over the thickness in his throat and averted his eyes.

"What exactly is goin' on here?" he asked in a quiet voice.

Szayel opened his mouth, a sneer already on his face, but Shinji raised his hand and looked the young woman in the eyes.

"What happened?" he repeated and the woman's eyes darted away from his.

"I… I was invited to the party by Szayel and when I showed up he handed me a pill and told me to enjoy myself. And I did, I'm not denying that. But at some point he introduced me to you and I think you were more out of it than anyone else there and the next thing I knew it the three of us…," she stopped, her eyes flicking over to Szayel briefly before returning to Shinji. "We were being intimate." she finished quietly.

Shinji shook his head. "I'm gay."

Nana's brow furrowed and she looked at the floor, biting her lip as her arms came up to hug her body as best they could. "I'm not lying." she whispered and Szayel scoffed.

"Who knows who the father is you fat slut."

"Szayel!" Shinji snapped and Szayel rolled his eyes.

"I just thought that I should let both of you know. I know that if there were a possibility that I had fathered a child I'd want to know for sure one way or the other." Nana took a deep breath and dropped her arms to her sides, dark eyes looking up into Shinji's once more. "I'm not asking for anything, money or otherwise. I just want the father of my child to know about it." A defeated look crossed her features for a moment before she straightened her shoulders and reached for an oversized purse and pulled out a sheaf of papers. She set them on the table in front of the sofa she had been sitting in and sighed.

"I have a scheduled c-section on the fourteenth of this month and I need DNA samples from the both of you so we can get this settled." she said before taking a deep breath and letting it out in a huff. "Thank you and…," she looked up again at Shinji, "I'm sorry."

Szayel stomped over to the table and snatched up the papers, looking them over with a cocked eyebrow.

"I'll do this only to prove you wrong." he said with an upturn of his nose. "Now get out of my house."

Shinji would have said something about the way Szayel was acting towards the woman but he was still too deep in his shock to notice her eyes narrow slightly before she grabbed her bag and left. Shinji's eyes fixed on a small spot on the carpeted floors as too many thoughts whirled and whizzed in his brain. He remembered that party, it had been his "going away from porn" party and he had overindulged on many fronts that night. He didn't remember most of it and had regretted that fact two days later when he had woken up feeling like he had been hit by a truck. He did, however, remember a dream he had had about long black hair and sharp fingernails but he had just figured it had been about Nnoitra and had ended up being depressed for a week because of it. Had it really been this woman? This, Nana person that he had been with instead of some dream? But why? He didn't like women, couldn't get it up for women so how…?

Szayel was moving around the room, grumbling to himself as he searched for something and ignoring Shinji for a moment. He couldn't believe that some woman had come to him claiming he was the father of her child but it wasn't like it was the first time it had happened. Not that any of the others had turned out legit but it still got him riled up when it happened. He wouldn't be sleeping with women for a while that was for sure. He bent low to look in a drawer and finally found what he was looking for, snatching up a tiny bottle and slamming the drawer closed. He tore off the cap and shook two pills out into his hand, eyeing Shinji - who was still on the floor - and slowly making his way over to him. Szayel crouched on Shinji's right, nudging the blond with his right hand to get his attention. Shinji blinked out of his trance and looked over at Szayel, a dazed look in his eye.

"Here." Szayel prompted, grabbing one of Shinji's hands and dropping one of the pills into it.

"What's this?" Shinji asked stupidly and Szayel smirked.

"It will make the evening better." he said, popping his own pill into his mouth and swallowing with ease.

"Where didja get this?" Shinji asked, not having noticed the other man leave.

"I keep a stash in every room of this house." Szayel answered casually as he sat on the floor near the younger man.

"Ya keep drugs all over yer house?" Shinji said incredulously and looked at the pill in his hand. Knowing Szayel it would be excellent quality.

Szayel leaned forward, his face inches from Shinji's, and smiled. "It never bothered you before today."

Shinji leaned back and frowned. "Yeah well I don't need this." He tried to hand the pill back but Szayel grabbed his hand and closed his fingers around the pill before pushing Shinji to the floor.

"Get off me."

Szayel cocked an eyebrow and the corner of his mouth titled. "Have you really grown so much that you don't use sex as a coping mechanism anymore? Please, Shin-chan. You can't honestly expect me to believe that you don't want to take that nor have me fuck you into this very expensive rug so that you can forget this for a bit."

Shinji was ashamed at how tempting the idea was, but he wasn't about to admit that especially to this man.

"I don't need yer drugs and I don't need you." he said, pushing Szayel off him and struggling to his feet so that he wasn't at such a disadvantage anymore.

"Oh that's right." Szayel said with a smirk. "You have Nnoi back in your life. How's that going by the way?"

Shinji glared over his shoulder and stuck his nose up slightly in the air. "Fantastic actually."

Szayel laughed quietly and got to his feet as well, walking up behind Shinji. "You think that everything will still be fantastic when he finds out about what you've done in his absence?"

Shinji stiffened, for some reason still amazed that Szayel could go from seducer to villain at the drop of a hat.

"He knows 'bout the movies and everythin'." he said quietly and Szayel hummed.

"Yes, but does he know you fucked a woman?" Szayel purred in Shinji's ear and Shinji felt his stomach drop. "And how will he react when he finds out that you may have gotten her with child?"

Thin arms wrapped around Shinji's waist and Szayel nuzzled the side of Shinji's neck with his nose. Shinji shivered and closed his eyes, clutching the pill in his hand and swallowing over the lump that was suddenly in his throat. Nnoitra was going to freak the fuck out that's what was going to happen. When the warm wet of a tongue touched his skin Shinji jerked and pulled away, turning to glare at Szayel's smiling face. These pills worked fast and he could already see Szayel's pupils dilate.

"I- I'm leavin'." Shinji said quietly and tried to walk passed Szayel. Too many things in his head were making it hard to think straight and being around Szayel like this was far more difficult than it should have been. It wasn't that he wanted to do anything with him, but Shinji's body still remembered the times they had slept together and those had been far from unpleasant.

"Don't forget your paperwork, Shin-chan." Szayel called out after him as Shinji walked quickly to the door that would lead him out of that room and away from that man.

Shinji stopped and sighed, knowing that if he didn't take them now it would just give Szayel an excuse to come see him later. He let out a frustrated breath and walked back to the pink haired man, grabbing the papers that were held out for him and ignoring the look Szayel was giving him. He could never tell if that look meant Szayel wanted him for sex or to dissect him and while it disgusted him it still turned him on a bit. He couldn't keep his head straight at the moment as it was so being around Szayel wasn't the greatest of ideas at the moment.

He made it to his car without realizing that he had even left the house and threw himself into the driver's seat, jamming the key into the ignition and letting the car warm up a bit. Shinji took one look at the papers still in his hand and closed his eyes, his stomach lurching at the implications. Sure he liked kids but that didn't mean he wanted any. And even if he did, twenty four was a little young wasn't it? But what if it was his? Could he do the right thing and be there for it? And what about Nnoitra? What was Nnoitra going to say when he told him about _this_? Shinji's head connected harshly with the steering wheel and the horn sounded, startling him so bad that he nearly screamed and promptly turned crimson. Shinji rolled his eyes and put the car in drive, driving quickly away from the house to his own.

He realized halfway home that he still had the pill in his hand and at a stoplight he looked down at it longingly. He could take it later, on a night that Nnoitra wouldn't find out about it. Lock himself in his room, play some music and masturbate all night long. It wasn't as if he'd never done that before and it had been ages since he had dropped alone. Shinji sighed and he shook his head. He'd made a promise and he was going to keep it no matter how bad or messed up he felt. Shinji rolled down the car window and tossed the pill outside, quickly rolling it back up and speeding the rest of the way home.

* * *

Nnoitra was pissed. Shinji had told him to wait at his place for him and the little fucker was over an hour late. Shinji had a thing about being late to anything so it didn't make sense why he was missing tonight. What the hell was he doing that could make him this late? And why hadn't he called to explain anything? Nnoitra reached for his cell phone and stared at it a moment before shoving it back in his pocket and glaring at the TV. He would not call the blond. He would _not _sound like a fucking nagging girlfriend. Or so he thought anyway, but when the front door finally opened and a tired looking Shinji walked through Nnoitra's mouth opened and words came out before he could stop them.

"The fuck you been?" he shouted, startling Shinji so much he dropped his keys.

"I had somethin' ta do after work." Shinji mumbled. He had forgotten that Nnoitra was going to be waiting for him that night in everything that had happened.

"An' what? Ya can't fuckin' tell me? Ya just make me sit here waitin' around like I ain't got nothin' better ta do?" Nnoitra instantly regretted the words when fire flashed in Shinji's eyes but he wasn't going to back down. Nnoitra Jiruga didn't back down from a fight.

"If it's so fuckin' inconvenient ta be here for ya then fuckin' leave. Go get stoned with Starrk!" Shinji bent to pick up his keys and dropped them along with the papers on the kitchen table.

"How many times I gotta tell ya I don't smoke that shit?" Nnoitra pushed himself off the couch and stomped over to where Shinji stood and Shinji cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Why're ya still waitin' if ya got so much else ta do, huh?" he asked, folding his arms over his chest and pursing his lips.

"Cuz I wanted ta fuck ya!" Nnoitra shouted and Shinji rolled his eyes.

"Well I ain't in the mood so ya c'n leave now."

"Tch, fuck you." Nnoitra sneered and copied Shinji's stance. "Where'd ya go?"

Shinji sighed and dropped his arms, walking to the kitchen to pour himself a drink. Nothing had been said about not drinking.

"I had to stop somewhere after work and it took a little longer than I thought it would."

"Where?" Nnoitra pressed, knowing that Shinji was skirting around the truth.

Shinji poured a glass of Jack and threw it back, wincing at the burn and blowing out a harsh breath after it was down. It didn't settle well and he closed his eyes.

"I went over to Szayel's." He said quietly, bracing himself for the explosion.

"WHAT?"

"I just had to get somethin', so it's no big…."

"No big fuckin' deal? I thought I toldja ta stay away from that fucker?" Nnoitra raged, eye narrowed so far it looked closed.

Shinji frowned and looked up at him. "Ya can't tell me not ta be around him, asshole. Ya don't control my life."

Nnoitra was suddenly in front of him, arms on either side of Shinji's hips and gripping the counter as his body loomed over Shinji's. "Stay the fuck away from him or I'll kill 'im. Pretty fuckin' cut and dry, Blondie. I'll keep my promise 'bout stayin' away from him if ya keep away from the pills but you keep him outta our lives now."

Shinji bristled and opened his mouth but was cut off when the front door opened. Shinji and Nnoitra both looked over to see Tesla walk in and shut the door carefully behind him, sighing and leaning back against it. A hand lifted to push sandy blond hair out of hazel eyes and Shinji sucked in a breath at the sight of Tesla's face.

"Oh my God, Tes what happened?" Shinji asked, pushing Nnoitra out of his way and walking over to his friend.

Tesla sniffled and turned his face away from Shinji, wiping furiously at his tear stained cheeks with gloved hands.

"It's nothing. I should have kept my mouth shut." Tesla said in a broken voice and winced when Shinji gabbed his shoulders and forced him to look at him.

Shinji's breath caught at what he saw; a split lip, a bleeding nose, two bruised eyes, the right severely swollen and various cuts all over Tesla's face. The left side of his face was red and already starting to swell and Shinji lifted a hand, hovering it just over the tender skin.

"Hey, we were fuckin' fightin'." Nnoitra called out and Shinji turned to him with a heated glare.

"Tesla is _hurt _Nnoi. Drop it." he hissed and Nnoitra snorted.

Shinji turned back to Tesla and frowned, wondering how bad off the parts he couldn't see were. "Tes, what happened?"

Tesla tried to smile and cried out softly when his lip split further and started to bleed again.

"Takashiro-san…," Tesla started and Shinji cut him off.

"He hit you?"

Tesla frowned and grimaced at the pain the action caused. "He wants me to quit the club, said it makes him jealous that all those people fawn all over me and when I said that I didn't want to and that I enjoyed it he slapped me." Tesla didn't want to say the rest and his head was feeling light from the blows he had received earlier. If Shinji found out that the larger part of his beating was because Tesla was living with him, Tesla knew bad things would happen.

"Shin-chan. Can you help me to my room? I don't mean to interrupt your time with…."

"Shut up. First I'mma clean ya up and then yer gonna stay awake fer a while. Fucker hit ya in the head didn't he?" Shinji heard Nnoitra grumbling in the background and ignored him. "C'mon, we're gonna shower."

Nnoitra stopped and frowned, looking over as Shinji began to help Tesla down the hallway. They weren't really going to…?

"Yer showerin' with him?"

"I'll keep my panties on daddy." Shinji threw over his shoulder before shutting the bathroom door behind both him and Tesla.

Nnoitra was shocked into inaction, standing in the middle of the living room with his arms dangling at his sides and mouth open. He was angry that Shinji had talked to him like that, pissed that Tesla had interrupted their fight, and irritated that the idea of the two blonds soaping each other up with their skin pinkened by the hot water excited him, if even a little. Sure he hated the little faggot but that didn't mean that he'd completely let go of his long running fantasy of having two blonds naked and worshiping him.

"Fuck." Nnoitra muttered before throwing himself back on the couch to watch more TV.

* * *

Shinji was at his desk looking over the DNA test paperwork and frowning at the questions he was being forced to answer. The whole situation was fucked as it was without having to answer all these stupid questions. Why did they need to know all of this stuff, like the last time he had had sex, just so they could draw some blood? He read the next question out loud: "When was your last menstrual period." and frowned, realizing that he was on the wrong section. Again.

"Fuck." He said, pushing the papers away and looking at the clock.

He was putting off leaving yet because he was supposed to be meeting with Nnoitra again that night. It had been three days since their fight about Szayel and they hadn't been able to get together because of conflicting schedules but tomorrow was Nnoitra's birthday and they were supposed to spend the night and following day together for it. Shinji was excited, hoping that Nnoitra would enjoy the gift he had gotten for him, but he was still stressed out about the other pressing issue in his life. One that he hadn't bothered telling _anyone _about. He figured that if, worst case scenario, the baby did turn out to be his he would worry everyone then. A jumping flutter in his stomach made itself known and he felt like he was going to throw up yet again. God he hope it wasn't his. Though if it ended up being Szayel's he felt deeply sorry for the poor kid.

Shinji felt like he was handling things fairly well given his past with handling major issues like this. So what if he had been drinking a few extra glasses of liquor before bed the past couple nights. It wasn't as if he were getting wasted so he could pass out. Just a light buzz and frantic masturbation since Nnoitra wasn't around to help him there, before falling in a heap on his bed and passing out. Granted he had had to bring out the big toys, nipple clamps, vibrating plug and hard leather cock ring, to enjoy himself properly but that really wasn't too far off normal so he wasn't concerned.

With a sigh Shinji stood and grabbed his coat, heading out the door and on his way home. Nnoitra was there waiting for him, practically dancing when he saw the blond. Shinji couldn't stop the smirk from titling his lips when he saw the man bouncing on his feet in his excitement and rolled his eyes.

"The hell's wrong with ya?" he asked, his voice tinged with humor.

Nnoitra just grinned and beckoned Shinji over to him with one long finger. Shinji walked slowly and stopped a foot away from the taller man, looking up at him and smiling.

"What?"

Nnoitra still didn't answer him and instead stuck out his long tongue as far as it would go. Shinji frowned until he noticed what Nnoitra was trying to show him. Two new piercings, one on either side of the tip, winked at him and he felt his knees go a little weak. Nnoitra wiggled his slightly swollen tongue and cocked an eyebrow before pulling it back in.

"Gimmie my present." Nnoitra said, holding out his hands and grinning.

Shinji, gathering himself slowly, snorted and turned towards his bedroom where his present for Nnoitra was hidden.

"Who says I got ya somethin'?" he said and Nnoitra grunted.

"Ya better'a got me somethin'." he muttered and followed Shinji.

The blond couldn't believe his luck as he pulled the small box out of it's hiding spot and turned to hand it to Nnoitra, large smile on his face. He had apparently gotten the perfect gift for the man. Nnoitra snatched it out of Shinji's hands, ripping the wrapping like a kid on Christmas, and opening the small box. Inside was a set of three tongue rings, each one a different color and sporting the number five on top of a round ball; Nnoitra's lucky number. Nnoitra frowned and looked up and Shinji.

"How'ja…?"

"Talent." Shinji said and laughed when Nnoitra rolled his eye. "And yer supposed ta say 'thank you'."

"Che, I did it fer you." Nnoitra said under his breath, kissing Shinji's cheek and whispering a thank you in Shinji's ear.

Shinji smiled. "Shut up and sit down. Yer lucky I letcha open that tanight 'stead'a makin' ya wait 'til tamorrow."

"Whatever. It _is _tomorrow." Nnoitra countered and watched as Shinji began to unbutton his shirt. He grinned. "Whatcha doin'?" he asked, plopping on the bed with his legs spread wide.

Shinji smirked and loosened his tie before sliding out of his dress shirt and reaching for his belt. "Gettin' ready fer yer other gift."

Nnoitra cocked an eyebrow. "Oh yeah?" he said, licking his lips. "An' what's ma other gift?"

Shinji dropped his pants and stepped out of them before hooking his thumbs in the waist of his underwear. He cocked a hip before pulling them down and standing straight, throwing his long hair over his shoulder and grinning.

"Why doncha open yer pants an' find out?" he purred, fingering the only article of clothing still on his body; his tie.

Nnoitra's eye raked over Shinji's naked body and he reached to pull his quickly hardening cock from his pants, stroking it a few times before letting go and looking up at the blond. Shinji giggled, dropping to his knees between Nnoitra's legs and bending his head to place a small kiss on the head. Nnoitra groaned quietly and brushed the hair out of Shinji's face. Shinji continued to spread little kisses over the entirety of Nnoitra's cock, flicking his tongue against the veins as they stood out and the cock filled with blood. Shinji pulled back and smiled at what he saw, the thick cock winking at him and twitching with each beat of Nnoitra's heart.

"God, I love yer cock." Shinji whispered and pressed his lips to the underside of Nnoitra's head, sucking the thin webbing there before running his tongue up over the slit.

Nnoitra's eye rolled but he refused to stop watching as Shinji sucked down the underside of Nnoitra's cock, nipping at the base before running that tongue up over the side and swirling at the head.

"Ya gonna try'n take all'a me?" Nnoitra asked, hopeful.

Shinji smirked and looked up, the head of Nnoitra's cock resting against his lips as he spoke a single word in reply.

"Try?" he husked, his lips and breath feathering against the sensitive skin and began to slowly suck Nnoitra in.

"Ah… fuck." Nnoitra breathed out and threaded his fingers in the hair at the back of Shinji's head.

Shinji started out slow, lowering his head barely an inch before pulling back and repeating, his left hand stroking the bottom half of Nnoitra's cock. Shinji relaxed his throat and angled his body for comfort, taking inch by inch inside him and thrilling at the first touch to the back of his throat. He swallowed around the head and heard Nnoitra groan as if from far away. Shinji squeezed the base of Nnoitra's cock and lowered himself further, tongue undulating and moving as best it could in the small space available. Nnoitra's hips began to roll, the hand in Shinji's hair tightened, and he began to curse quietly. Shinji took even more of him in, breathing in and out each time he pulled back enough to do so. Shinji took a deep breath bowed his back, finally feeling his lips tickled by thick coarse hairs and he bit down lightly as his throat began to work around Nnoitra's length. Nnoitra bucked his hips and slid the last few centimeters down Shinji's clenching throat, throwing his head back and groaning loudly as his orgasm began to blossom.

Shinji felt the first two pulses and pulled back, grabbing Nnoitra's cock and stroking it harshly as he looked up at the man, tears in his eyes from the strain. Nnoitra's sex drugged eye met his and the man came, thick ropes catching on Shinji's chin, cheek and a bit on his eye, forcing him to close it. Shinji licked his lips and tried to catch his breath, happy that Nnoitra seemed to be in just about the same state. The larger man let go of Shinji's hair and reached up to thumb the cum off of Shinji's eye, smiling goofily down at him once Shinji blinked it open.

"Ya look good with cum on yer face." he said quietly and Shinji smiled.

"I know." he replied and Nnoitra laughed.

This was starting out as one of his best birthday's yet.

* * *

Szayel and Shinji had opted to hear the results of the DNA tests together and were currently waiting in the waiting room to be called back to the doctor's private office. Nana was there as well, though she had barely said more than a hello to either of the men. She was, however, holding a small bundle in her arms that was seemingly sound asleep. Szayel had ordered her to take the little cap off it's head and smirked when he saw the thick black hair there.

"Definitely not mine and from the looks of it yours either, Shin-chan." he had said with a smug look before taking his seat.

Shinji had looked down at the baby with a small frown, the fluttering in his stomach and chest growing with each beat of his heart.

"What… what is it?" he had asked, rubbing the back of his neck and Nana sighed.

"Girl." she replied quietly, the last word she said until the current moment.

Shinji's legs wouldn't stop moving and his hands seemed to have a mind of their own, fidgeting and pulling at his clothes, picking at the seat or reaching for stupid magazine after stupid magazine. Szayel looked over at him and shook his head, slapping Shinji's hand like he was scolding a child.

"Stop it. It's annoying."

The door opened and a nurse stepped out into the waiting room, calling out their names one at a time. Shinji felt the urge to throw up again and followed Nana and Szayel as they followed the nurse to the office they were to be waiting in. The seats were just as uncomfortable as the ones outside and Shinji couldn't help but fidget more. He wanted to get this over with and go home and drink until he passed out. He figured he deserved it after something like this. Szayel eyed the baby when it began to fuss and sneered when Nana pulled out a small blanket to cover herself while she nursed the infant.

"Disgusting." he muttered and cleared his throat.

"I find it hard to believe your mother ever nursed you either." Nana shot back.

"Excuse me, but please refrain from speaking about me like you know me." Szayel commented and Nana snorted.

"If I had known better I would never have let that mouth of yours or anything else for that matter anywhere near me." The baby made a small noise and she adjusted it. "Apparently your mother knew well enough to do that as well."

Shinji's eyes widened at the insult but before anything else could be said the door opened and the doctor walked inside, smiling at the three before taking his seat.

"And how are we today?" the doctor asked casually and Szayel pushed his glasses up his nose.

"Just read the damn results so I can leave this woman."

The doctor gave Szayel a disapproving look before reaching for the result papers. He read them over first, the silence in the room stifling, before he looked up and opened his mouth.

"According to the blood tests the tests conclude that you, Mr. Granz, are indeed _not _the father of this child."

Szayel stood up and laughed, smiling widely down at Nana and waving. "Too bad for you, slut." he said before dancing out of the room, laughter ringing down the hallway.

Nana, red in the face from both anger and embarrassment, pulled the baby from her breast and began to burp her.

"Please finish this. I'm sure Mr. Hirako would like to go home as well." she said quietly.

The doctor nodded his head and shifted the papers in his hands, reading over the results in what seemed to Shinji as slow motion. The man's mouth opened to deliver Shinji's fate and Shinji struggled not to pass out from fear and nerves._ Please, please negative. Please_. He pleaded and looked at the floor as he licked his lips and closed his eyes. The deep baritone of the doctor's voice interrupted his thoughts and Shinji opened his eyes, resigning himself to what fate was about to throw his way.

"According to these results, Mr. Hirako you are the father of this child."

* * *

A/N Okay, okay. I repost this with the cliffy a little less severe. No one shall kill me now, yes?

Some news, for those of you that don't know already, I've drawn some art of the triplets at the age of seventeen. You all should go check them out :D Also, the lovely Storm *who you can also blame the cliffy on this time* drew freakin' awesome pics of both Taichi and Sorin. They're hot and you should go check them out on dA~~

Also, I posted another chapter for the Page from the Book of First so you all should go check that out as well :D

Anywho, I think that's it. I'll get right on this next chapter and get to Shinji's results :D

Enjoy~

~Penny


	22. Reaction and Action

Reaction and Action

"According to these results, Mr. Hirako you _are _the father of this child."

Shinji's hand flew to cover his mouth and his eyes widened to impossible size. He couldn't decide between throwing up, passing out, screaming, crying or laughing hysterically. God must hate him because every time Shinji was happy something would come up and knock him down a few hundred pegs. His stomach rolled and he snapped his eyes shut, his body leaning a little forward as he tried to stop it from folding itself in half.

"Well now that we have this settled, I will be needing you, Miss Ito, to decide on the baby's surname so that we can finish filling out the birth certificate."

Nana looked sideways at Shinji and sighed. "May we have a moment alone first please?" she asked quietly and the doctor, after a quick look between the two young people in front of him, nodded and stood, closing the door softly behind him.

Nana took a deep breath and patted the baby's back gently before speaking in a soft tone to Shinji.

"I know this is hard for you but I want you to know that I wasn't lying when I said that I don't want anything from you, nor do I expect it. It's up to you whether or not to be a part of this in anyway."

Shinji nodded woodenly and silence hung between them as he tried desperately to think of something to say but came up blank. He couldn't think straight and panic was starting to take him over. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. _He couldn't be a damn father!_

"I won't act on the surname thing until you've had time to process everything and tell me if you want her to have your name or not." Nana said, still in the soft tone from before. She bent over the desk awkwardly and wrote something on a piece of paper before righting herself and reaching for the diaper bag she had with her. "Just call me when you decide please."

And then she was gone.

Shinji stood and looked blankly down at the desk, his hand reaching out for the phone number written on the back of the doctor's business card. He didn't remember leaving the office nor did he remember walking down the long hallway to the men's restroom. He leaned over the sink, turning on the water and resting his weight on his hands against the Formica countertop. He watched the water swirl down the drain, like a tiny black hole sucking the liquid eagerly from the porcelain bowl, but didn't hear the sound. He looked up at the mirror on the wall behind the sink but didn't see his face. What the hell was he going to do? Too many voices in his head offered up advice at the same time and Shinji closed his eyes, swallowing and doing his best at taking deep breaths.

Nana had offered him an out, clean cut and dry as a desert. He could say thanks but no thanks and walk off Scott free and never have to worry about this again. The question was, could he really do that? Could he really just not do anything about this? This was a child, a child he helped bring into this world, a part of his living being. Shinji's eyes shifted focus and he finally saw his reflection, eyes wide and almost haunted looking, skin pale and drawn, lips pressed in a hard, flat line across his face. He watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed again before closing his eyes. _What am I gonna do?_

Shinji's body jerked violently when the door to the communal bathroom opened and he turned to look over his shoulder at who was about to interrupt his silent freak out. Honey eyes widened at the same time as chocolate ones did and Shinji sucked in a hissing breath.

"Shinji? What the hell're you doing at the hospital? Is everything okay?" Ichigo asked, frowning at Shinji when the blond made no effort to reply.

Ichigo stepped closer to Shinji and reached out, placing a tender hand on his shoulder.

"Shin?"

Shinji's eyes widened. "Oh God." he whispered as the reality of the entire situation began to hit him with force. Someone was there for him, asking him to reveal everything and so much of him wanted to just get it out but at the same time hold everything inside. His gaze dropped to the middle of Ichigo's chest and his body began to tremble, shaking hands coming up to his mouth as his head shook once as if to negate everything that had happened that day.

"Shinji?" Ichigo asked in an alarmed tone and another strong and steady hand grasped Shinji's opposite shoulder.

"Oh God Ichi…." Shinji could feel his blood moving faster, hear his breathing change, now coming out in harsh gasps. "Oh God."

Hands reached for Ichigo, clutching the white coat that he wore like a lifeline. Panic rolled in waves off the blond and Ichigo shook Shinji, trying to snap him out of whatever was happening to him.

"I fucked up. Oh God I fucked up bad, Ichi." Shinji babbled, body now shaking so hard that he was afraid he'd fall over and wondered why his knees hadn't buckled yet.

"Shinji, what happened?" Ichigo asked, trying to keep his voice calm and knowing that he was failing at it. Shinji was starting to scare him a little.

Shinji struggled to control his breathing so that he could say something, anything, but he wasn't able to get any part of his body to obey him. He was beginning to hyperventilate and Ichigo let go of Shinji's shoulders, grabbing his face and forcing eye contact. Short gasping breaths, wide, wild eyes and skin almost sallow, Ichigo noted and he looked straight into Shinji's eyes.

"Shinji, I need you to calm down." he said in an even but firm voice. "Take a deep breath, that's good," he said when Shinji gave it his best effort. "Now let it out nice and slow. Good. Again."

Shinji struggled to regain control of himself. Freaking out and having a panic attack wouldn't do him any good but damn it, he was fucking _scared_. It was one thing to like children. He loved babies and kids, hell he had even babysat for Hanataro and his wife more times than he could remember and every time he was around the triplets he felt like he couldn't be more happy with life. They were family, all of them. But the idea of actually being a parent…. Shinji hiccupped and his head fell forward into Ichigo's chest, hands dropping to his sides as his body continued to shake but his breathing slowly returned to some semblance of normal.

"I don't know what ta do, Ichi." he whispered and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Shin, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong?" Ichigo replied quietly as he let go of Shinji's face and wrapped an arm around a thin pair of trembling shoulders. When Shinji remained silent Ichigo guessed. "Is it something with Nnoitra?" he asked.

Shinji half snorted, half sobbed at the name. Nnoitra would leave him for sure now. One night of drugs and sex and Szayel and he was going to lose the man he loved. And yet again, it was all his fault. If he hadn't gone, if he had just said no to those pills, this wouldn't be happening to him.

"No." he answered, shaking his head. "Ichi…. I got…." Shinji swallowed and shook once, hunching his shoulders. "I got a girl pregnant."

The silence in the bathroom was deafening. Ichigo blinked hard and scowled, trying to sift through his friend's words. He… he _had _to be joking.

"Shinji, that's not funny." he said lamely and hugged tighter when he felt a tremor run through Shinji's body.

"I went to a party a while back at Szayel's and… took something. I don't remember doing it but… three of us…." Shinji trailed off, amazed that he was even getting the words out of his mouth.

"Well if you don't remember how do you…? I mean, Szayel lies ya know?" Ichigo pressed.

Shinji shook his head. "We just had the DNA thingie done. Why do ya think I'm here?"

"Oh fuck." Ichigo said unhelpfully. "Are… are you sure?"

"Ichi…."

"Well fuck, Shin. What are you gonna do?"

Shinji shook his head. "I don't know. I can't handle this shit. It's too big."

Ichigo frowned and grabbed Shinji's shoulders again, pushing him back so that he could look him in the eyes. Shinji's eyes were red and there was more color in his face now but he looked like he was standing on his last leg.

"How do you think she feels, Shin?" he asked. He could only imagine that this girl was scared as well, even if she had made a mistake, it didn't sound like she was the only one to blame here.

"What?"

"Shinji, how long has she been pregnant before you found out?"

Shinji blinked. "She's… she had a c-section a little over a week ago…."

"Jesus Shinji! You're here worried about whether or not you want to be a man and deal with this and she's spent her entire pregnancy _alone_? Put yourself in her shoes for a minute. She doesn't have a choice in this matter. She has the baby and no matter what she has to take care of it now. She doesn't get the luxury of a meltdown while she decides whether or not she can handle this."

"But…." Shinji blinked again, surprised at Ichigo's words. "But she said she was leavin' it up ta me if I wanted…."

"Do I have to hit you? Creating life is a big fuckin' deal Shin. You don't get off the hook just because you're scared. You can't just forget about it and move on like nothing happened. You're a _father _now. Be a man and step up or…," Ichigo shook his head, his scowl deepening. "Or you aren't the man I thought you were."

Ichigo let go of Shinji and took a step back from him, straightening his lab coat and turning towards the door. "I have to get back to my rounds, I'll see you later." he said before pulling the bathroom door open and leaving Shinji alone.

Shinji stared after him, his chin trembling at the harsh words and his chest tightening. He closed his eyes and brought his hands to cover his face, taking a deep shaky breath before letting it out in a rush. Splashing his face with water from the sink and patting it dry with a coarse paper towel, Shinji left the hospital with even more weighing on his mind than before.

* * *

Shinji stepped through his apartment door three hours later, surprised to see Nnoitra passed out on his couch. After leaving the hospital Shinji had gotten in his car and drove, letting his mind work everything out as he barely paid any attention to the road he was on. He had ranted and raved at the injustice of everything, told himself that he couldn't and wouldn't do this. That he wasn't going to make a good father just because he was good with other people's kids. Yelled at himself for being a despicable coward, no better than Szayel. But in the end he had realized that there really was only one thing he could do.

Tiptoeing passed Nnoitra so as not to wake him, Shinji walked to his bedroom and shut the door quietly behind him. He took a deep breath and locked the door before reaching into his back pocket for his phone and the little card that held Nana's phone number. Shinji entered the number with shaky hands and closed his eyes as he hit the send button and raised it to his ear.

It took three rings before a soft and quiet voice answered and for a moment Shinji wasn't able to speak. He cleared his throat and sighed before finally managing to say something.

"H-hey. This is, uh, Shinji." he said, rolling his eyes a bit.

"Oh." Nana said, sounding more than a little surprised. "I wasn't expecting to hear from you so quick."

"Yeah well…." Shinji trailed off. "Look, can we… meet and maybe talk for a bit?" he asked.

"I can't leave the house right now but you can come here." she answered.

Shinji swallowed. "Sure, just give me the address."

* * *

Nnoitra blinked awake, hearing a soft murmur coming from Shinji's room, and sat up, rubbing a hand over his face. God damn he was tired. Starrk was working him extra hard, laughing and saying that it was just payment for letting him stay at his place so often but Nnoitra was doing his best at staying away as much as possible. Thankfully Shinji was in his life because he couldn't bring himself to ask to stay with Grimm and the Bitch, not with those three brats around. He heard the bedroom door click open and Shinji's soft footfall on the thick carpet and looked over the back of the couch as the blond came into the living room. Shinji stopped, his eyes wide before he smiled tightly at Nnoitra. Nnoitra frowned and grunted for Shinji to "C'mere." Shinji obeyed and Nnoitra pulled him into his lap, sleepily nuzzling the side of Shinji's head.

"Where ya been?" his voice rumbled and Shinji curled into him a bit.

"I had some things ta do." he said quietly and kissed the underside of Nnoitra's jaw. "And I gotta run out again for a bit."

Nnoitra grumbled as his eyes began to slide closed again and his arms tightened their hold on Shinji. Shinji gave a small half smile and pushed himself out of Nnoitra's grasp.

"Sleep and when I get back…." Shinji stopped. When he got back he'd have to tell Nnoitra everything, wouldn't he? He wouldn't and shouldn't keep this from him like he had all those other things. "When I get back we'll talk, ne?"

Nnoitra was already too far gone to pay too close attention to what he was saying and nodded as he lay back on the couch and stuck his hand in the front of his pants. Shinji gave him a small smile and grabbed his jacket before slipping on his shoes and stepping back outside into the cold and wet weather.

It didn't take long to get to the address and he noted with a frown that it was in the same bad neighborhood that Nnoitra's last apartment had been in though in a different building. The one that Nana was apparently in was almost worse from what Shinji could tell and something hard settled in his gut as he parked his car and got out. The stairs up to her apartment were shaky at best and the hallway was filled with random bits of debris. Shinji wrinkled his nose as he reached her door and knocked quietly. He couldn't believe she lived in a place like this. The door opened and Nana gave him a tight smile before stepping aside to let him in. The room was small, but clean, much more so than the rest of the building, and contained a small crib, a low bookshelf and a small dresser with one drawer missing. The kitchen area, if it could be called that, was little more than a sink, dormitory style refrigerator, and a small plot of counter space that held a hot plate.

Nana sat on the floor near the crib and shuffled through a small pile of papers she had been apparently going through before he showed up, setting them on top of the bookshelf and looking up at him.

"I'm sorry, I don't have anywhere else for you to sit." she said and gestured to the floor next to her.

Shinji folded his legs under him and kept his hands deep in the pockets of his coat. Now that he was there he wasn't sure what to say or where to begin. Nana cleared her throat and asked it he would like a cup of tea and when he nodded she rose to fix it, giving him a moment to clear his head and figure out what to say.

"So why are you here?" Nana asked, starting the conversation for Shinji and making him feel a little stupid.

He took a deep breath and spilled it. "Look, ta be honest I'm scared ta fuckin' death 'bout this. I… I don't really think I'm cut out ta be a father like at all, but…," he stopped and ran a hand back through his hair. "But someone pointed out to me that I'm being a selfish bastard again and I took some time ta think."

Nana wasn't looking at him and it was making things easier to say properly.

"The more I thought 'bout it the more I realized there's no way I could stay outta this."

He didn't hear her move and jolted when a steaming cup of tea was practically shoved in his face. He took it but didn't drink, instead playing with the handle of the mug and staring into the pale green depths.

"If you're here out of pity I'd rather you just leave." Nana said quietly, eyes flicking over to the crib before she took a small sip of her own tea.

"That ain't it." Shinji sighed and set the tea on the floor beside him. "I… I wanna be here fer that kid, okay. I mean, she's mine right?"

When Nana's eyes met his he realized that they were almost black with dark circles around them and rimmed in red. She didn't smile but looked again at the crib, letting her breath out in a quiet sigh.

"So what do we do now?" she asked.

Shinji shrugged and reached for his tea. "I'm not really sure. Kinda the first time for me."

He was trying to lighten the mood even if he was still freaked out about everything Nana seemed more upset in a way. What Ichigo said back at the hospital came back to him and he realized that he hadn't once given any thought to how she had been handling this whole situation. It was obvious that she was living alone, having him in the room made it feel smaller than it already was so he couldn't imagine anyone else there with her. He didn't know if she had any family, didn't know anything about her really and it made him feel like a jerk for not thinking to ask. Nnoitra had been right, he really was self-centered.

"Would you like to hold her?" Nana asked and Shinji felt his stomach jump.

"Uh… s-sure."

Black eyes were back on him and she titled her head to the side. "Have you ever held a baby before?" she asked and Shinji finally felt himself able to smile.

"'course I have. My best friend has three kids almost six months old now and another friend of mine as two, a four year old and a two year old. I used ta baby-sit for them all the time before work got all crazy."

Nana just looked at him before raising to her knees and reaching inside the crib, lifting the very small bundle and cradling it to her breast. She seemed reluctant to let her go but after a moment she held the baby out and Shinji reached out to take her into his arms. Nana watched carefully as Shinji brought the baby close and looked down at her, his lip disappearing between his teeth. He felt his chest tighten and his breath stop and for the first time in his life, he fell in love with a female. She was beautiful.

"What's her name?" Shinji asked as he ran a gentle hand over the top of the baby's head.

"Yayoi." Nana answered, for the first time a small smile tilting her thin lips.

"Beautiful." Shinji whispered, his chest tightening further and his eyes filling.

Nana nodded and when he looked up he saw tears coursing down her cheeks. He lost his battle and joined her, smiling and letting his own tears come.

* * *

Shinji had ordered food, telling Nana that he didn't want to hear any kind of protest on the matter. He was still holding Yayoi, cradling her in the crook of his arm as he sipped his second cup of tea. Nana had been asking him about his life -where he had grown up, what he did for a living, did he have any family around- and he had been happily answering her questions. He knew that he had probably been there for well over an hour but he wasn't ready to leave yet. He still had so much he wanted to ask her as well and he was having entirely too much fun holding his daughter. The pain and fear he had felt just hours ago was like a bad dream now, one that had grown cold and thin with time. When the food arrived Nana answered the door and brought everything in, handing over the yen Shinji had pulled out of his wallet to pay for everything. She was dishing everything out when Shinji started asking his own questions.

"So, where did you grow up?" he started with the same question she had.

Nana sighed. "Kyoto, but I moved here three years ago when my parents died."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Shinji said and Nana set his plate of food next to him on the floor.

"It's okay. I'm doing fine on my own."

"Are you working?" Shinji asked and Nana seemed to stiffen a bit.

"I have a part-time job after school and it pays the bills and keeps me fed so I can't complain."

"Oh? Which university do you go to?" Shinji asked, curious now.

"I… go to Tokyo High School. I'm in my second year."

Shinji froze and stared at her as she refused to meet his eyes. _What? WHAT?_

"You… you… you…." Shinji stuttered. "H-how old are you?"

"Sixteen." she answered readily, still not meeting his eyes.

"Holy fuck!"

Yayoi woke at Shinji's loud exclamation and began to fuss, screwing up her little face and whimpering. Shinji didn't know what to say to that. Didn't know whether to feel disgusted that he had basically committed statutory rape or laugh that this was just too ridiculous. Szayel would be even more enraged if he knew that he had invited a teenager to one of his parties. He was usually so careful about things like that.

"That doesn't make me any less of a mother." Nana defended.

Shinji snorted. "No, I know. Just… surprised me but I guess I should be used to it by now."

"Anyway, I'm dropping out. I can't afford to continue and I need to get another job…."

"What? No way, you can't drop outta school!" Shinji frowned.

"I don't have much choice. I have child now and high school is the least of my worries."

Shinji shook his head. "No way. Yer not droppin' out. I ain't lettin' ya."

Nana looked irritated briefly before she shook her head and looked out the small window.

"Look, I don't work much durin' the day so I could stay with Yayoi while yer at school and I'll, ya know, buy diapers and food and shit." Shinji offered, feeling a little excited at the prospect of spending time with his child everyday.

Nana frowned. "You don't have to…."

"Yeah but I wanna." Shinji interrupted. "And… well when I tell okaachan 'bout it she'll wanna help out too. She always has free time and she freakin' _loves _babies." Shinji smiled as he pictured her reaction to the news. He knew, out of everyone he knew, that she would be the one that would be most happy about this situation. "You'll hafta meet her soon."

Nana lowered her head and bit her lip. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

Shinji snorted. "Are ya kiddin'? Don't worry 'bout it."

Nana sighed and reached for Yayoi. "It's time to feed her." she explained when Shinji seemed reluctant to let her go.

Shinji sighed and looked at his phone to check the time. He should be going anyway. He put away the leftovers from their dinner and washed the plates and mugs, drying them and putting them away from Nana. By the time he was finished Yayoi was finished with her own meal and Nana was burping her. He smiled warmly down at his daughter and sank to his knees beside them.

"I gotta go. Do ya want me ta take her for ya tomorrow?" he asked quietly and he watched as Nana thought it over before nodding stiffly.

Shinji leaned forward and kissed the top of Yayoi's head gently, running the tips of his fingers once again over her soft, thick black hair.

"I'll be here at seven then." he said before standing and walking to the door.

He took one last look and shut the door quietly behind him, his heart, for now, at peace.

* * *

Nnoitra was still sleeping when Shinji returned home and he found himself smiling down at the man on his couch. He knew it would be hard to tell him but at that moment he was too happy to worry about it. He brushed Nnoitra's hair out of his face and kissed his cheek, giggling when the man scowled and swatted him away. Poor baby was tired. Shinji poked him hard in the ribs and giggled again when Nnoitra grunted and blinked up at him.

"The fuck…?" he mumbled in a thick voice.

"Get up."

"Fuck you."

"Get up and I'll feed you." Shinji taunted and Nnoitra slitted his eye open again.

"Yeah?"

Shinji nodded and laughed. "Yup. Whaddya want?"

Nnoitra grunted and sat up, pushing his hair back and yawing widely. "Food." he managed before sniffing and looked up at the still standing blond. "Pizza from that place I like?"

"Whatever ya want, Nnoi."

Nnoitra grinned and reached for Shinji's hand, pulling him into his lap like he had done earlier that day.

"Yer bein' all… fuck it. I like it when yer like this." he said, nibbling on Shinji's ear lobe.

Shinji giggled and pulled away, grabbing Nnoitra's face and kissing him soundly on the lips before jumping up to search for the phonebook. Nnoitra took a moment to wake up fully before standing and following Shinji to the kitchen.

"Where'd ya go?" he asked, remembering that Shinji had already been home once that day.

Shinji hummed and ended the phone call, looking up at Nnoitra with a smile on his face.

"Just had some things ta do." he said slowly.

"Like what?" Nnoitra asked, suspicious of Shinji's mood now.

"I'll tell ya all 'bout it tomorrow, 'kay?" Shinji said, stepping closer and standing on his tiptoes to wrap his arms around Nnoitra's neck and pull him down for a quick kiss.

No matter what happened Shinji just wanted to enjoy the rest of his day. He knew that telling Nnoitra would be hard, knew that the man would most likely freak out on him, so for now… for now he just wanted to end the day on a good note. He pulled back and looked up into a single violet eye, a soft smile pulling at his lips.

"I love you, Nnoi." he said, and he watched at the tall man grinned widely at him.

"'course ya do." he said and Shinji laughed. "I love ya too, Shinji."

Shinji bit his lip and wished this moment could last forever.

* * *

A/N Well I think you all can guess what's going to be in the next chapter, or at least part of it anyway ;p I've still got to decide between two reactions that Nnoitra could have but hopefully you all won't have to wait too long. I'll jut write in and o with the flow like I usually do ;p

Anywho, some news~~ I'm doing a holiday card exchange this year and figured it might be nice to let people know here at lovely FFN if they are interested. Nothing big, basically we exchange addresses and I send you a holiday card and you send me one. Of course you don't have to if you don't want to and I won't look atcha any different if yer not interested, but I figured since I've put it out there everywhere else that I'd do it here as well. Just PM me if yer interested and please do so by the 1st of December so I can get cards for everyone :D

Also, new SBB audio os available now over at y!gallery for those 18 and over and are interested :D And I'll be working on even more of those after post this.

I hope you all enjoyed the cahpter and please please please review~

~Penny


	23. Author Note

Dear loser,

I'd just like to let you know that I've grown tired of your cowardice and idle threats. Do you think, truly and honestly, that you can scare me into updating anything I write? Really? Well I've got news for you: you can't. I'm not scared of you or anyone else out there, fan or not, so please, grow up. I'm sure some of you may be wondering why I'm taking the time out to reply to a "reviewer" in this fashion; well let me tell you.

I've recently been receiving some, let's just say rude, comments in my review box. For example:

_when do you think you will be done with the next chapter_

This was the first review I received on the recent SG update, the writer anonymous so I'm not sure how they thought I was going to respond to that. Not rude yet but we are far from finished here. The very next review was from a person with an account, I will not name names, you can go back and look if you're curious.

_yo what time ya think ya be done with that chapter 23 of SG for me_

Again, not overtly rude or pushy so it didn't really bother me and I went about my business for the day. Shortly after that, and on the same day might I add, I received yet another "anonymous" review. By this point I knew who the person was but I chose not to respond.

_i hope your almost done with the next chapter_

Letting this all roll off my back as it was, at this point, certainly nothing to get upset over, I again went about my business, doing what I do, and moved forward with my day. I don't always have time to respond right away to reviews but I do my best and I know that most of you know that. The next review was by the same user, this time again with an accounted name and posted to a chapter at the beginning of the story.

_yo ya done yet im sick of waiting_

I did not ignore this one. How could I with how blatantly rude and disrespectful it is? So I responded thus:

_Do you realize that, not only is it the holidays right now, but I have a job and a child as well as a life. Also, it takes time and effort to make the chapters I post coherent, cohesive and worth while for the readers. I understand you are eager to read the next update but do not push me. The only thing it will accomplish is to irritate me and that will result in an even longer wait._

_~Penny_

I feel that it was rather tame for my initial response, which was to rant and curse up a storm thank you very much. But I tried, God knows I did, to be as nice as I could allow myself in that reply. I didn't hear anything for three days and thought to myself, "Good, they took the hint and will now be respectful and give me some space." Oh how very wrong I was.

Just moments ago I got a review on Hollow, my new story which I posted the other day. It is set as anonymous but since they refer to a reply I sent to an accounted person, how could I not know who they are?

_so ya have time to make this fucking story but you havent the fucking time to_  
_make the next fucking chapter of SG_

_p.s. if you dont fucking finish the next fucking chapter in the two days ima_  
_stop reading you fucking storys_

Oh you have no idea how angry this has made me. How dare you, little child that you are, threaten me in such a fashion. Yes, I have the time to "make this fucking story" and no, I "havent the fucking time" to make an update for Solid Gold yet. So sorry that I can't cater to your whim, _child_. Perhaps I'd feel a little, _little_, different in this reply to your disgusting review if you had taken the time to write using proper grammar and punctuation. I must have just made you so upset that I didn't do what you told me to.

Fuck you.

And FYI, I could give two shits if I lose you as a reader because people like you make me sick. You should be ashamed of yourself. I'll finish the goddamned chapter whenever the hell I feel like and if that's not good enough for you then good riddance to bad rubbish I say. I work on my time and no one else's so get over yourself and stop thinking that you can control people with words such as you attempt to use.

_You make me sick._

And if anyone else out there feels like threatening me, go ahead and kick fucking rocks because I don't want you reading my work. Excuse my lack of eloquence in the latter part of this rant but I could no longer contain my feelings. I have never, in my _life_, been this upset with a so-called fan and I hope that this is the last time it will _ever _happen.

The next chapter of Solid Gold will be out when I finish it and not a moment sooner, the same goes for all of my other work.

~Mistress Penelopye


	24. First Day of Fatherhood

First Day of Fatherhood

Shinji stood back in front of the dirty peeling door, fifteen minutes early but too excited to stay away any longer. He had called Yumi to let him know that he wasn't going to be in the office until late, if at all today, but to call him if he needed anything. When Yumi asked the reason, Shinji had just giggled and said he had a date with a beautiful girl before hanging up on the man. He was sure he'd be receiving all kinds of questions for that one but he couldn't help himself. He raised his fist and knocked quietly, surprised when the door was pulled open before he had even started and a wide eyed Nana was looking up at him. She frowned and looked to the side before speaking.

"I… I need your help." she said quietly and Shinji nodded.

"Sure, what's up?"

Nana grabbed his wrist and pulled him inside, shutting and locking the door behind them. She looked nervously at the small crib where Yayoi was sleeping and tugged at the hem of the school appointed skirt she was wearing.

"There's this creepy old guy next door who keeps following me and Yayoi around…." she started and Shinji's smile faded some.

"Ya wanna ride ta school then?" he offered, not thinking twice about it and even reaching inside his pocket for his keys.

Nana sighed. "She doesn't have a carseat. Can… can you just walk with me to the bus stop and stay until it comes? I mean… if it's not too much…."

"'course I can! You get ready and I'll bundle Yo-chan up, ne?"

Nana gave him a strange look at the nickname he had given his daughter but sighed and started to gather her things. She hoped that Shinji would be able to find enough to wrap Yayoi up with because she was pretty limited with what she could afford for her little girl. Most of what she had, had been given to her by neighbors and a nice little charity workshop she had attended during her pregnancy. All her money now went to diapers and wipes and whatever else for rent, bills and if she was lucky, food. She watched Shinji out of the corner of her eyes, noting that he did in fact seem to know what he was doing. He was so gentle and even whispered quietly to Yayoi as he wrapped every available blanket around her tiny little body. Nana was worried about leaving her child for the first time but at least she felt like she could trust him. True, she barely knew anything about him but… she still felt she could trust him with her daughter. Their daughter.

Shinji frowned at the lack of clothing and made up his mind what he was going to do that day. He couldn't have his daughter without things she needed after all. But first things first he would need to get her a carseat. The tiny cogs in his brain began to turn as he picked Yayoi up and pulled the blankets he had wrapped around her tighter, tugging on the little cap she was wearing so that it covered her forehead and ears. God she was so adorable, he thought as he looked down at her and smiled. He was sure that Yayoi was the cutest baby he had ever seen.

"Okay, I'm ready." Nana said, breaking him from his thoughts.

"Oh, sure." he said, pressing Yayoi close to his body. "So, ya don't mind if I take her out and get some shit right?"

Nana shifted her weight and looked back over her shoulder as she opened the door, her gaze calculating for a moment before she shook her head.

"I only have one house key." she said, stepping out into the hallway.

"Oh, well… I could always take her back ta my place after shoppin'. Ya know, if ya don't mind. I c'n give ya the address and stuff if that'll make ya more comfortable." Shinji realized he was rushing things a little but he couldn't help it. He was excited.

Nana sighed and began walking down the hall after she shut the door and Shinji gave her back a small smile.

"Just… I'll call you when I get out of school and you can meet me here okay?"

Shinji snorted. "Or I could just pick ya up." he muttered but Nana seemed to be ignoring him. Apparently she didn't care for too much help. He hoped she wouldn't be upset when she saw what he was planning on buying today.

Nana gave Yayoi a small kiss on the head before getting on the bus and Shinji practically ran back to the apartment to get his baby girl warmed up. Yayoi was fussing a bit but wasn't to a stage that he was worrying about it. He'd been around enough babies to know that it was just her trying to get comfortable. Now he just had to figure out how he was going to get her somewhere to buy a carseat so that he could take her in the car to do other sorts of shopping. He didn't want to take Yayoi on the bus, too many people and too many germs. He couldn't take a cab, no carseat, so he was left with very little options. Call someone who had a kid or… his mother. Shinji sighed, he had wanted to spend the first day alone with Yayoi and if he called his mother he could be sure that she wouldn't just leave him alone, not after finding out that she was a grandmother. That was pretty much something she had given up on when he was nine. He'd have to spill all the details to her about what had happened and that would take forever. He wanted to be selfish today. Shinji bit his lip and pulled out his phone, calling the only person in the world who knew anything about this new development in his life.

"Yeah." Ichigo answered distractedly and Shinji could hear Sorin screaming in the background.

"Hey, ya leavin' fer work soon?" Shinji asked, smiling down at Yayoi who gurgled and made a face like she was passing stool.

"Huh, yeah why?"

"I need ta ask ya a favor."

Shinji heard Ichigo sigh and something crash in the background. "Jesus… damn it Grimm let the damn cats outside already!"

"No way! They'll run off or get hit by a car!" Grimmjow shouted back and Sorin raised his voice.

Shinji tried to cover the snort but was unsuccessful. Grimmjow babied the cats almost as bad as his kids.

"What do you need, Shin? I'm running late as it is." Ichigo asked in an irritated voice and Shinji could see the man's deep scowl in his mind's eye.

"Oh, just wonderin' if I could borrow a carseat with baby paddin' for a bit."

The line was silent a moment before Shinji heard a door shut and Ichigo's quick and whispering voice.

"What do you mean?"

Shinji couldn't keep the smile out of his voice as he answered. "I'm watchin' my kid taday."

"Holy…," Ichigo let out a quiet laugh. "So you did do the right thing after all."

"Fuck you I did. Ya knew I was gonna. Anyway, she don't have one and I wanna do some shoppin' so… I need ta borrow one'a yers."

"I get to be the first one to meet 'em?" Ichigo asked excitedly and Shinji laughed, glad that he could share this with Ichigo first. He was, after all, the first to know about _his _kids.

"Yeah, so bring me that shit so ya can get ta work, baka."

Shinji texted Ichigo the address and waited, readying a diaper bag to fill the time before Ichigo showed up. He noticed that while Nana was breast feeding, she was also giving Yayoi formula and wondered if he should talk to her about that. In his mind it should be one or the other, not both. He'd prefer his kid to have Mother's Milk, but sometimes that wasn't really possible, especially with Nana going to school and working. Shinji heated some water and prepared to fill two glass nursing bottles and made a mental note to pick up more while he was out. One could never have too many bottles, he thought.

It barely took twenty minutes before there was a quiet knock at the door and he opened it to a widely grinning Ichigo. Shinji let Ichigo in, noting that his eyes went directly to the small crib and the tiny bundle there, sleeping soundly once again.

"So… am I the only one besides Szayel that knows yet?" Ichigo asked and Shinji nodded, grinning.

"I'm tellin' Nnoi tanight." Shinji took a deep breath and let it out in a huff. "Wanna see her?"

"Her? Of course I want to see her!"

Shinji chuckled and bent to unwrap Yayoi from her cocoon of blankets and lifted her, pulling the little cap off her head before displaying her to Ichigo like the proud father he was. Ichigo's eyes widened and his fingers itched to reach out and hold the tiny baby, remembering when the triplets had been that small and suddenly missing that time. Sure he wanted them to grow up faster, but he'd always miss when they were this tiny.

"Gorgeous like her papa ain't she?" Shinji beamed.

Ichigo just smiled and shook his head, reaching out to run a gentle hand over soft black hair. She looked so much smaller than the triplets had been when they were born. So much more fragile.

"Damn, Shin. I never thought I'd see you with a kid of your own." Ichigo whispered, still awing over Yayoi. "What's her name?"

"Yayoi…." Shinji paused, frowning a bit before continuing. "Yayoi Hirako." It felt so strange saying that but at the same time it made his chest swell with a mixture of pride and fear.

Ichigo chuckled and sighed before looking at his watch. "I really do have to go." he said, taking a reluctant step backwards. "Carseat is next to the door. Grimmjow's all kinds of pissed off I took off with it and didn't explain myself." Shinji snorted and Yayoi began to fuss quietly.

"Thanks Ichi."

Ichigo looked up at Shinji and smiled warmly. "No prob, daddy."

* * *

Shinji paced his living room, periodically stopping to check the clock on the stove to find that only a minute had passed from the last time he had checked. He had had such a wonderful day with Yayoi, shopping, feedings, even the changing dirty diapers had made him happy. He had gotten her way too many outfits, splurged on a nice crib he had no idea where he was going to put and a stroller that had more buttons than his car did, and stocked up on five different sizes of diapers. From what he remembered about babies they grew fast and didn't stay in one diaper size, let alone clothing size, for long. He had worried over the fact that Yayoi was so quiet a baby, fussed over her cute faces that accompanied various bodily functions, and rocked her to sleep humming the lullaby his mother used to sing for him. It had been one of the best days of his life and he couldn't wait to do it again.

Nana had looked anxious when he had dropped Yayoi off with her along with various supplies. He was sure she was about to protest but she had held her tongue and offered him tea while he found places to stash the stuff he had decided Yayoi needed close to her. The rest of it was sitting in his living room and he paused again in his pacing to muse at just how overboard he had gone. It was a good thing he owned a rather lucrative business or he'd be seriously hurting for money right then. So if Shinji had had such a wonderful day, why was he so nervous?

Nnoitra was on his way over.

Shinji glanced back at the clock and sighed before nearly jumping out of his skin when the front door opened and an exhausted looking Nnoitra walked through it. Shinji took a deep breath and smiled at the man who grunted and started to make his way to the couch, stopping to frown at the pile of baby goods in the corner by the TV. Nnoitra's lip curled and he looked at Shinji, eyebrow raising enough to hide behind his dirty white bandana.

"The fuck is all that?" Nnoitra asked and Shinji took another deep breath.

"Baby stuff." he said, cocking a hip and rolling his eyes when his voice shook slightly. Shinji cleared his throat.

"No shit. Why's it here?"

"Nnoi, I gotta tell ya some things. Ya might wanna sit down fer this." Shinji started and Nnoitra's frown deepened. Nnoitra's spine straightened and long arms folded in front of him.

"No. Fuckin' spit it out."

Shinji sighed and looked at the floor. "W-well. Okay, so a while back I went ta this party, right? And I kinda… did some stupid things." This wasn't coming out at all like he had planned and rehearsed in his head all day long.

"Yeah, and?"

"Well… I was pretty fucked up on whatever Szayel had given…."

Nnoitra snorted. "I should'a known this had somethin' ta do with him."

Shinji frowned and continued. "Anyway, well it seems that I sort of…," Shinji closed his eyes and wished he didn't have to say anything. He was trying _so damn hard_ not to keep anything to himself anymore, at least not the important stuff, and this was definitely important. However this was the first time since he had decided to be completely honest with Nnoitra that he was having to tell him something so _big_.

Shinji took another deep and hopefully steadying breath and said in a rush of words he hoped he wouldn't have to repeat, "…hadsexwithawoman."

Nnoitra's frown deepened and mixed with confusion as he tried to sort out what exactly the blond had just said. He recognized the word sex, but the rest could have been German for all he could understand. His lip curled up over his teeth and he shook his head.

"What?"

Shinji huffed out yet another sigh and bit his lip briefly before he tired again, this time much slower.

"I had sex with a woman."

"Ew."

Shinji's head snapped up at the immediate reply from Nnoitra and he would have laughed at the look of disgust that was so clear on the man's face had he not still been so nervous about the rest of his confession.

"Nnoi, that ain't the point'a all this…."

"Then why tell me? I don't wanna know 'bout everythin' ya fucked."

Anger rose at those words and Shinji found it easier to say the next bit. His back straightened and his chin rose just a little as he spoke.

"_Anyway_, I don't really remember it but Szayel was there too and from what I was told the three of us did it."

Nnoitra raised a hand out in front of him and closed his eye. "Look, as fuckin' fascinatin' as this story is, does it have a fuckin' point? I'm fuckin' tired and hearin' that faggot's name is pissin' me off."

"She got pregnant."

Nnoitra's eye widened almost comically and his arms dropped limply to his sides as he let the words process. And then, to Shinji's complete surprise, Nnoitra laughed.

"Ha! Serves that fucker right!" Nnoitra said, shaking his head and resuming his short walk to the couch. "Still don't see why yer tellin' me though."

"Nnoi, Szayel ain't the daddy." Shinji said quietly and bit the inside of his cheek when Nnoitra's entire body froze, half bent over the couch as he had been in the middle of sitting.

Slowly, Nnoitra's head turned, his violet eye even wider than before.

"The fuck does that mean?"

A small and extremely weak smile pulled at Shinji's lips and his head cocked to the side as he regarded the man he loved. _This isn't hard, just keep goin'. Ya got this far._

"Well, Nnoi. What it means is that it's mine."

Nnoitra stood up so fast that Shinji took a step back so he could still look Nnoitra comfortably in the face. He watched so many emotions flit over the man's face that he couldn't even begin to discern them and closed his eyes against them, waiting for the blow up.

"Ya… no way." Shinji nodded. "But… how? How do ya know fer sure?"

Shinji didn't like the sound of Nnoitra's voice all breathy like this and he refused to look at him. He didn't want to know what kind of face he was making now.

"Yesterday mornin' we got results back from a DNA test. The doc said it was me not Szayel who's the daddy."

Nnoitra couldn't think, didn't know whether to be upset about the situation or laugh. He wasn't used to having to think things through anyway but he wasn't even able to figure out how to outwardly react to the information. All he could do was stand there, staring down at a bowed blond head and listen to the soft murmuring voice as Shinji continued to speak.

"Anyway, that's what I was doin' yesterday, the test results and then I had a bit of a freak out," Shinji laughed quietly; humorlessly. "But I decided that I can't back away from this. I need ta be a man and all that. So last night I went ta go meet her." Shinji shook his head and let a small smile grace his features.

"She's so pretty." he whispered and Nnoitra felt his heart rate pick up a bit.

"That stuff in the corner is fer her. I spent all day shoppin' with her taday. I…,"

Nnoitra's hand was over his mouth and he hadn't even remembered raising it. Shinji looked up finally and saw this, his brow furrowing. Long fingers stroked over Nnoitra's chin and lips, plucking the soft think skin there, and he shook his head again. This… this was too much. Nnoitra closed his eye and dropped his arm again, turning his body and slowly walking down the hallway.

"Nnoi?"

"I'mma…," Nnoitra had to clear his throat and sneered before speaking again. "I'mma go take a shit."

With that said, Nnoitra closed the bathroom door on a thoroughly confused Shinji and lowered himself to the closed toilet seat. Resting thin and bony elbows on his knees, Nnoitra opened the palms of his hands and lowered his head into them, shaking his head again as he tried to sort through the blizzard of emotions in his head.

Shinji stared at the bathroom door and belatedly realized that his mouth was hanging open. That hadn't been anywhere near the sort of reaction he had been expecting from Nnoitra and if he were being honest with himself it scared him even more. He almost preferred it when Nnoitra yelled and ranted at things to this… silence. He wasn't sure how long he stood there, not sure what he was waiting for, but his head snapped up when he heard the shower start. Not knowing what else to do with himself, Shinji walked back to the living room to wait for Nnoitra to finish, hoping that they could talk some more when he did.

* * *

Takashiro looked down at a spent Tesla and smiled. The boy was so stupid but so pretty and obedient that he didn't care. As long as he continued to do as he said, he'd never have to hit the little idiot again. Tesla stirred and hugged the pillow he was holding tighter to his chest. Takashiro pulled a cigarette from his pack and walked to the window, opening it before lighting up. Tesla would be quitting the host club soon and Takashiro would make sure that he got away from that interfering blond man. He hated the influence that man held over his Tesla and he wasn't going to put up with it very much longer. He was doing his best to be nice about all of it, but Tesla had upset him enough that he had had to put him in his place. He knew that the blond had tried to keep him from Tesla after that, knew that Tesla had tried to stand up and tell him no, but in the end Takashiro had won and Tesla had told him that he would put in a notice to quit at the end of the month. Takashiro had rewarded Tesla that night and allowed the young man to scream his name as loud as he wanted. His wife wasn't home after all and the both of them had been excited that Takashiro had not only brought Tesla to his home, but to the bed he shared with his wife.

Takashiro took a deep pull from his cigarette before stubbing it out in the ashtray he kept in the sill. He turned back to Tesla and smiled, fingering his beard a moment before walking back to the bed. Now all that was left was to get him out of that blond man's house so he could keep him tighter under his thumb.

* * *

Shinji sat stiffly on the couch staring at the blank TV screen as he waited for Nnoitra to come out of the bathroom. The shower had gone off a while ago but Nnoitra was still in there doing God knew what. Shinji had checked the clock some time ago and seen that it had been over an hour since Nnoitra had retreated to the sanctuary of the bathroom and he had no idea how long he had been waiting on the couch for him. Finally, the door clicked open and Shinji sat up straighter, looking over the back of the couch as Nnoitra slowly walked down the hallway. The tall man stopped and Shinji noticed that he had yet to put his bandana back on. He had even pulled his hair back into a loose pony tail at the back of his head. Nnoitra sniffed and refused to look at Shinji as he spoke.

"I think I'mma stay at Starrk's tanight." he started and Shinji's eyes widened.

"What?"

Nnoitra, not thinking, shoved his bandana in the pocket of his dirty jeans and shrugged.

"Just…."

Shinji leapt up off the couch and put his hands out in front of him.

"Ya can't leave!"

Nnoitra grunted. "Yeah I can." His voice was too quiet and Shinji was beginning to panic.

"Look I… I didn't exactly do this on purpose ya know!" When Nnoitra didn't say anything Shinji continued. "I… well I can't say now I'd take it back if I could but… damn it Nnoi, I…."

"Just get the fuck outta my way so I can leave." Nnoitra moved to skirt around Shinji and Shinji reacted in the only way he knew might work. Pressing his hands in the middle of Nnoitra's chest and pushing slightly Shinji looked up and him and said the first thing that came to mind.

"Please don't leave me."

Shinji watched Nnoitra's brow twitch and his upper lip curl as both eyes flickered between his own.

"Move." he said quietly but without heat.

Shinji shook his head and tightened is grip on Nnoitra's shirt. "I won't."

"Damn it…!"

"Please." Shinji's chin trembled and he realized he was on the verge of tears. He felt stupid for it but he couldn't stop them.

Nnoitra growled and stepped back, glaring down at Shinji.

"Ya can't do that!" he shouted suddenly, startling Shinji. "Ya can't fuckin' cry just ta getcher way. It ain't fuckin fair!"

"I'm not doin' it ta get my way asshole!" Shinji's voice croaked.

"The fuck ya aren't!"

"I wancha ta stay 'cuz if ya leave… how do I know yer gonna come back?" One tear finally slipped free and Nnoitra realized that out of all of the weapons Shinji held in his arsenal, tears were the worst and most deadly.

"Fuck." he groaned, letting his head fall back as he raised his hands to scrub over his face. "The fuck ya want me ta do, huh?"

Shinji sniffed and shrugged. "I dunno. Just stay." Shinji reached out for Nnoitra's hand and waited until the man dropped his head and looked at him again. "Just… don't be mad at me."

Nnoitra closed his eyes and took a deep breath, wondering when he had gotten this soft. He didn't like it, not one bit, but when he opened his eyes again and saw Shinji looking up at him just as another tear freed itself from long pale lashes he knew he wasn't going anywhere.

"God damn it." he said, raising a hand to wipe the tear off Shinji cheek. "Knock it the fuck off and I'll stay, alright?"

Shinji sniffed again and nodded, squeaking a little when Nnoitra reached out and pulled him into a rough hug. Shinji wrapped his arms around Nnoitra's chest and buried his face in his shirt.

"I'm sorry…."

"Shut the fuck up."

Shinji tried to pull away, knowing that hugging made Nnoitra uncomfortable, but found it hard to move with how tight a hold Nnoitra had on him. Shinji felt fingers creep up into his hair and sighed.

"Yer such a bitch, ya know that?" Nnoitra muttered and Shinji snorted.

"God ya know how to make me feel all gooey inside."

"Why's everyone havin' babies an' shit? Buncha fuckin' gay men havin' kids is just… weird." Nnoitra continued almost as if thinking out loud.

"Grimm and Ichi planned theirs." Shinji mumbled as he began to pull absently at Nnoitra's shirt. "Yer shirt smells."

Nnoitra snorted. "I fuckin' worked hard taday."

Shinji finally was able to pull back enough to look up at Nnoitra and smiled. "Take yer clothes off and I'll throw them in the wash while ya order us some dinner, ne?"

"Che. Tryin' ta butter me up with food and clean clothes." Nnoitra grinned as he pulled his shirt over his head. "Throw in a blow job and let me tie ya up tanight and I just might fergive ya fer knockin' some chick up."

Nnoitra was far from okay with the situation but figured that it really didn't have that much to do with him anyway. It wasn't like Shinji was leaving him and it wasn't like the brat was coming to live with Shinji. In his mind he figured he'd probably never even see the kid. Forcing himself to believe all the thoughts now running through his head, Nnoitra stripped and ordered food and prepared to have a nice evening with his boyfriend. Shinji still felt a bit of tension in the air between them but didn't say anything about it. He just tried to enjoy the fact that Nnoitra seemed to be handling it better than he thought he would and hoped the days to come didn't prove the both of them wrong.

* * *

A/N YAY! Finally. I had soooo many issues with Nnoi's reaction. There were too many ways it could go but finally I decided this was the right one. I hope you all liked it. And what was that I saws in there? Set up for plot perhaps? Do I see more drama on the horizon? Maybe~~ ;p Well, I don't know what else to say really. I'm going to try and update for Hollow next but I'm not making an promises on which will be first up. I have some ideas I need to get out of my head regarding this story that I really hope you will all enjoy so maybe I'll even get another one of these out soon~ For those of you that did NaNaWriMo this year I hope you tried your best and perhaps joined me in the winner's circle. Great prizes this year :D Anywho, I'll stop talking now ;p

~Penny

**Oh yes! Thank you all for the support with the issue of the disgusting reviewer. I'm sorry I wasn;t able to reply to every single one of them but I do appreciate the support and love. Thank you all so much :D**


	25. Showing Off

Showing Off

It was the sound that woke him gently from a deep sleep. A wet sound that made him feel safe while at the same time turned his insides to jelly. Or was it the sensation? Something feathering against his belly, wet and soft. Nnoitra's face scrunched up and he grunted in his half sleep, reaching up and finding his thin fingers tangling in thick silky hair. A small smile twitched his lips and he hoped this wasn't a dream. Dreams didn't feel this good, right? Something soft and warm brushed against his thigh and a sigh of breath fanned against his navel before puffing against the skin below it and traveling slowly lower. Nnoitra made a quiet, appreciative sound in the back of his throat and struggled to wake more, the thick fog of sleep wanting to pull him under yet again.

When firm, warm fingers wrapped around the base of his erect cock Nnoitra sighed contentedly and tried to force his eyes open. The fingers squeezed gently before stroking upwards and before he could even groan at the feeling he was suddenly engulfed by wet, velvet heat. His breath shuddered out and he felt his hips twitch up. His head rolled back into the pillow it was resting on and his hand tightened it's hold on Shinji's hair. Nnoitra felt Shinji hum before pulling back with a soft pop and letting go of the stiff member. Nnoitra felt Shinji move, crawling up his body and placing a chaste kiss at the corner of his mouth. Nnoitra heard another pop and felt the bed shift, heard Shinji sigh before something slick grabbed his cock again. Nnoitra groaned when the head brushed against Shinji's ass and he finally managed to slit his eyes open, blinking up at Shinji as the blond smiled widely at him.

"Mornin'." Shinji said before lowering himself as slowly as he possibly could.

"Nnngh-ah fuck…." Nnoitra groaned and grabbed at Shinji's hips as the younger man slowly began to rock back and forth.

Nnoitra's thumbs pressed into Shinji's sharp hipbones and Shinji tossed his hair back over his shoulder with a flick of his head. Finally he lifted himself, shaking with the effort not to just fuck himself back to sleep while Nnoitra just lay there looking up at him with his mouth half open and his eyes barely half mast. Shinji dropped down and rose again, this time angling his hips and rotating them a bit before descending once more. Nnoitra's grip on his hips tightened and the larger man began to help in the process of lifting, trying to set the pace a little faster. Shinji acquiesced and let his head fall back as he thrust his hips forward and pulled back. One of his own hands found his aching arousal and he began to stroke himself as the other reached up to pull and pluck at a nipple. Nnoitra growled softly and bounced his hips, setting Shinji temporarily off balance and almost making him fall. Shinji dropped his hand from his nipple and reached below, cupping his sack as his other hand circled the head of his dick. Nnoitra's eyes flicked downward to see the show before rolling back into his head as he felt his orgasm approach. Shinji made a small whimpering sound and fell forward, catching himself with one hand in the middle of Nnoitra's chest.

"Sh-shit. Nnoi… nnff…."

Nnoitra dug his heels into the mattress and lifted his hips, pulling Shinji's flush with his own as a loud grunt escaped him and he came, pleased when he felt Shinji tighten around him and release against his belly at the same time. Panting, Shinji fell the rest of the way forward and tried to regain his composure as Nnoitra's softening cock slipped from him.

"Fuckin' hell." Nnoitra breathed, kissing the side of Shinji's head and trying to make his eyes stay open this time. "Can ya wake me up like that again tamorrow?"

Shinji giggled and shook his head. "No way."

"Bitch."

Shinji continued to giggle as he found the energy to move once again and he pushed himself up and off of Nnoitra, looking down at the prone man and letting his fingers run through the sticky and congealing mess he had made on Nnoitra's belly.

"Wanna shower first?" Shinji asked and Nnoitra grunted in reply.

"Time is it?"

"Five-thirty." Shinji replied instantly before jumping out of bed with far more energy than he should have had after something like that.

"The fuck you on?" Nnoitra grumbled as he sat up, knowing that if he didn't do so he'd fall right back to sleep and miss work.

"Happiness, stupid." Shinji said with a smile and Nnoitra rolled his eyes, realizing for the first time that he hadn't worn his bandana to bed last night.

"What're ya so happy 'bout at five-thirty?" Nnoitra asked with a yawn before pushing himself up and out of bed.

"I'm spendin' another day with my daughter." Shinji said, giggling again as he began to think about what to wear that day.

Nnoitra sneered and grunted again as he walked naked out of the bedroom and down the hallway to the bathroom. _Oh yeah_, he thought to himself. _Blondie's got a kid now_. Nnoitra didn't hear Shinji come in the bathroom behind him and found himself startled a bit when he turned around after turning on the tap. Shinji just smiled and lifted himself up on his tiptoes to plant a small kiss on Nnoitra's cheek.

"I'mma take her ta meet okaachan taday." Shinji said conversationally as he stepped into the searing heat and quickly turned the knob to cool it down a bit.

"Great." Nnoitra mumbled in an unenthusiastic tone as he too stepped into the shower.

By the time he was dressed and ready to leave the house he had heard more about the little brat than he wanted to but he couldn't get the image of Shinji's smiling face out of his head. Muttering darkly to himself he grabbed his jacket, kissed Shinji goodbye and left the house to walk the short distance to the station. Starrk had them working on a building that was nearly done and halfway across town so he was taking the train today. He was happy that he was early enough to miss the crowds so he could take up four seats to himself and stretch out his long legs. Nnoitra rested his head against the thick, cold window and closed his eyes as a little voice told him in a mocking tone that he was going to have to meet the kid eventually, whether he wanted to or not. He told the voice to shut the fuck up and pulled out his iPod, shoving the earbuds in his ears and drowning anything else the voice might have said out with music he wasn't listening to.

* * *

Shinji pulled up in front of his mother's house later that morning and looked in his rearview mirror at a sleeping Yayoi. She looked so pretty in her pale pink onesie and jade green cap that if he could have he would have kissed her right then and there. Instead he shut off the car and unbuckled himself, zipping his jacket up before opening his door and stepping out into the whipping wet wind. He was glad it wouldn't be a long walk to his mother's door and pulled Yayoi out of the backseat as quickly as he could before slamming the door shut and running as gently as he could to the front door. Predictably he found the door unlocked and he let himself in as he always did, setting Yayoi's carseat on the floor next to the couch.

"Okaachan?" Shinji called out, frowning when he didn't hear a response and wondering if his mother was in the basement.

Before he had a chance to go look Etta came walking down the hallway clad only in a thin robe and smiling to herself. Shinji cocked an eyebrow and rested a fist on his hip.

"I called fer ya." he said in a playful voice and Etta looked at him with wide eyes before smiling.

"Didn't hear ya. When'd ya get here?" she asked as she made her way to the kitchen. She was so very thirsty at that moment.

"Just now.." Shinji said, looking back at the carseat that his mother had failed to notice on her way to the kitchen.

"Tea, Shin-chan?" Etta called out as she filled the pot with water and Shinji nodded, frowning at the darkened hallway. He could have sworn he'd seen something move there just now.

"Yeah. Hey, okaachan...?"

Shinji stopped, his frown deepening when he saw the movement again and the shadowy shape became a person. His first thought, as the only thing he could see at that point as a tanned stomach and a nice pair of jeans -the man was pulling his shirt over his head at the time- was that Isshin looked more in shape for his age than Shinji would have thought. His thoughts after that however died a rather dramatic death when the white t-shirt was pulled over the head and long wavy brown hair greeted him instead of the short black spikes he was expecting. Shinji's mouth dropped open as his own honey colored eyes met surprised grey ones.

"Wh… what're _you _doin' here?" Shinji asked, barely finding his voice for his shock.

Broad shoulders rose and grey eyes looked away for a moment. A short but tense silence followed before Etta came back out of the kitchen and smiled warmly at the man before walking right up to him and wrapping her arms around his neck, kissing his stubbly cheek. Shinji about choked on his own tongue at the sight and he only realized he was making a noise when his mother turned to him and gave him a strange look.

"Shin-chan. Ya okay?"

"Wh…wha…," Shinji took a deep breath. "What the fuck!"

Etta cocked her head to the side ad frowned. "What?" she asked in an innocent voice and Shinji wanted to scream.

He raised his arm to point an accusing finger at the brown haired man. "What the _hell _is _he _doin' here?"

"Who Starrk?" Etta asked before grinning mischievously.

Starrk cleared his throat and looked for all the word about as uncomfortable as a human could be in a situation like this. He hadn't wanted to be found out yet and certainly _not _by Etta's only son.

"YES!"

A soft cry broke out and Shinji turned, looking down at a now fussy Yayoi and cursed himself for yelling so loudly. But holy fuckin hell what was his mother doing with that man? Well, he had a pretty good idea _what_ they had been doing but he shook himself and tried not to think about it. The bigger question was _why_.

Starrk cleared his throat and spoke softly to Etta but Shinji still heard his voice clear as day.

"My lunch break is over, Hirako-san. I have to get back to work now."

Etta giggled and Shinji could only imagine her wrapping her arms around him again and going in for another kiss. He closed his eyes and tried to block out the image.

"I toldja, call me _Etta_." she said in a soft voice and to Shinji's surprise he heard Starrk reply huskily, "Etta."

Etta giggled again and Shinji heard kissing, barely resisting the urge to plug his ears against the sounds like a child. Instead of paying them any mind, Shinji busied himself with unbuckling Yayoi from her seat and pulling her out, cradling her against his chest as he heard the front door open and close softly. He stood and turned to his mother, a deep frown on his face when he should have been smiling like an idiot and introducing his daughter to his mother.

"Shin-chan…."

"What about Isshin?" Shinji asked and was shocked to see his mother roll her eyes.

"That man…." Etta started before walking back to the kitchen to pour the tea. "He ain't never gonna just roll with things." she called out and Shinji's frown deepened.

"What?" he asked as he followed her.

Etta sighed, turning towards her son and leaning back against the counter. "He asked me ta marry him again." she said with a frown and Shinji's eyebrows disappeared beneath his bangs. _Again?_ Shinji hadn't even been aware that Isshin had asked her once. "I keep tellin' him I don't wanna get married again and he just don't get it. I just…," She stopped and looked her son square in the eyes before continuing. "I just want someone ta be a companion, ya know? Someone ta play with, no strings er nothin' attached."

Shinji closed his eyes and wished his mother had not just told him she wanted a fuck buddy.

"Okaachan…." If he had known this would happen he would never have introduced the two.

"Who's this?" Etta asked, smiling at the tiny baby in Shinji's arms.

Shinji sighed and opened his eyes. Once Etta changed the subject there was no going back so he did his best to muster up a smile and feel as giddy as he did before the shock of what he had just seen.

"Okaachan, I want ya ta meet Yayoi. Yayoi Hirako." When Etta frowned and looked back up at him Shinji found his smile as he added, "My daughter."

* * *

Nnoitra looked up from his work and watched Starrk saunter into the worksite with a small grin. Nnoitra's eyebrow cocked as he was approached and he said without thinking, "The fuck? Ya look like ya just got laid."

Starrk gave him a lazy smile and nodded once before grabbing his clipboard off the cluttered table and flipping through a few pages. Nnoitra laughed and slapped Starrk's shoulder before walking around the table to grab up a power drill.

"Fuck. Didn't know ya were seein' nobody." he said and Starrk leveled his gaze with Nnoitra.

"It's not something I feel I need to broadcast, Nnoi-san."

"So who's the lucky bitch?" Nnoitra asked, pulling the trigger on the drill a few times and letting a maniacal grin split his face.

Starrk frowned. After what had happened afterwards he wasn't very keen on letting anyone else know about who he happened to be sleeping with at the moment.

"Just a beautiful woman who's decided to give me the time of day." he answered and Nnoitra sneered.

"Oh yeah? Well let me know before hand if yer gonna bring 'er home so I can get lost. I ain't listenin' to ya fuck a bitch all night long." Nnoitra replied before setting out to work again.

Starrk frowned at Nnoitra's choice of words but ultimately he shrugged it off and went back to work, thoughts of his early afternoon rendezvous dancing in his head.

* * *

Shinji had been sure that his mother was either going to scream or pass out so when the tears decided to pour first he smiled and answered all her watery questions as best he could. Yayoi had been ripped from his arms almost immediately and his arms felt empty without her there. Etta cooed and rocked the tiny baby, commenting between Shinji's story that she looked like a brunette version of Shinji when he was a baby. Shinji smiled at that and wondered if he even needed to ask her to bring out the old baby books. He'd get to show Yayoi the grandfather she'd never get to meet if Etta brought them out and Shinji wouldn't have minded seeing a picture of him and his father again either. It would be twenty years since his death that Summer.

"Where's her mama?" Etta asked and Shinji sighed.

"School. Okaachan, she's only sixteen."

Etta let go of Yayoi with one hand and covered her mouth a moment to stifle her shock.

"An' she's livin' on her own?" Etta asked and Shinji nodded.

"I wanna meet 'er." Etta said and Shinji smiled, knowing this would happen and wondering if Nana would be able to handle the meeting so soon after everything else. From what he had noticed Nana was a very solitary person and knowing his mother she would steamroll the poor girl.

"Soon." Shinji said, hoping to at least warn Nana about it first.

For the rest of the day Shinji and his mother took turns holding, feeding and changing Yayoi before it was time for him to take her back to her mother for the night. Etta insisted that Shinji bring Yayoi back the next day and Shinji kissed her cheek before leaving. Etta stood at the door waving until she couldn't see her son anymore before stepping back inside and hugging herself tightly. She had never thought she'd ever get to be a grandmother, had hoped that at least she'd get to play grandmother to Ichigo's children since he was like a son to her. With a sniffle Etta let out a joyful laugh, flinging her arms out to the sides and twirling a few times before stopping dead and deciding that she would paint her granddaughter a picture. Not bothering to put any clothes on, Etta ran down to the basement to get started.

* * *

Grimmjow stood the furthest he could from the back door and took another slow drag from his cigarette. Aizen was trying to push him into coming back to work, in the office instead of at home, before the year was out and every time Grimmjow refused he was loaded down with more paperwork to do. It was making life at home even harder and he found himself back full blown with old habits. So far he was getting away with things but even he wasn't stupid enough to believe Ichigo would never catch him at it. He wanted to stop, really he did, but then Aizen would ask him to return to the office and the process would start all over again. The kids were sleeping, the baby monitor was perched against the fence, volume turned up full blast and far enough away so that the smell wouldn't cling to the plastic.

Letting his mind wander, Grimmjow began to go over the conversation he had had with Ichigo the night before. Apparently Ichigo had run into an old classmate a while ago and he had finally decided to say something about it. By the way he had told Grimmjow it looked as though Ichigo had expected him to be mad at him but Grimmjow really couldn't find it in himself to be upset. They'd both been busy, what with work, the kids, and the move, so most of Grimmjow understood that things sort of slip your mind in a situation like that. The other part of him wanted to play with Ichigo just to see how much else he would spill about his past. Ichigo, like Grimmjow, had been pretty vague about his past, not that Ichigo was hiding anything. Grimmjow pounced on the opportunity to learn more.

"So… this the one ya fucked?" Grimmjow asked in a serious tone and fought hard to hide his grin when Ichigo choked on his rice.

"No!"

Blue eyebrows rose as Grimmjow regarded Ichigo. "It's'a legitimate question, ya know? Ya never talked about any other girl ya knew 'cept that one you…"

Ichigo raised his hand and cut across Grimmjow's words. "I've known Tatsuki longer than Shinji. We used to live near each other and we went to the same dojo when we were kids. We went to all the same schools too so she's just some girl I used to know."

"If she's just some girl why do I have to meet her?"

Ichigo snorted. "Because she wants to meet you and the kids and she's pushy as hell. She tracked me down at the clinic yesterday and _reminded _me that I promised to introduce you all."

Ichigo didn't look one bit happy about the impending meet and for some reason it intrigued Grimmjow. Now he actually _wanted _to meet this chick. He had dropped the subject after that but Ichigo had been a little tense for the rest of the night and had passed out on the couch early. That morning Ichigo had left early to work and Grimmjow had played with the kids, proud beyond anything he had ever felt before when Taichi made a valiant effort at crawling and managed to move himself almost 30 centimeters. Grimmjow had texted Ichigo immediately with the news but he hadn't heard anything back. Not that he had been expecting anything really. He knew how busy Ichigo was with his job.

After feeding all three kids and wiping them down along with the rest of the kitchen, he put them to bed and retreated to the backyard for his afternoon smoke break. Grimmjow shook his head and looked down at the half smoked thing in his hand He was so dead if Ichigo caught him, he thought to himself before taking one last drag and rubbing it out on the bottom of his shoe. He opened an empty coffee can and dropped the butt inside, closing the plastic lid before placing it deep inside a bush so no one could see it. Blowing all the air out of his lings a few times to make sure all the smoke was out, Grimmjow grabbed the baby monitor and walked back to the house to change and shower. He'd done more laundry and taken more showers in the past few months than some people did all year.

When he got back inside he checked his messages, showered and started a load of laundry before getting the kids up for a bottle and a teething cracker. Once they were all finished and wiped clean again he set them in the little play area in his office and buckled down to finish as much of his work as he could before Ichigo got home from work, hoping that he might be able to catch at least one more smoke break before then. Grimmjow rolled his eyes at his thoughts and shook his head. God he was such an idiot.

* * *

Two days later Shinji had finally decided to spill it to his employees why he was coming into work so late lately. With Yayoi cradled gently in his arms he stepped into _Solid Gold_ not thinking that it was at all strange to be bringing a baby into a host club. It was Lisa that saw him first, a deep frown marring her brow as he smiled at her and took a seat at the bar.

"Where's Yumi and Tes?" Shinji asked and Lisa gestured to the left where the two men sat waiting for the start of their working day.

Shinji rose and walked over to the two and watched their expressions carefully. Both of them seemed surprised by the fact that he was holding a baby but neither one of them said anything and instead gave him the same curious look when he stopped in front of them. Yumi cocked an eyebrow and inclined his head.

"So is this the cute girl you've been seeing?" he asked and Shinji nodded.

"Yup. Her name's Yayoi."

Tesla leaned forward and smiled at the baby in Shinji's arms. "She's so cute and small." he observed.

"And my daughter." Shinji replied and chuckled when both men straightened and turned wide eyes to him. "Come ta my office and I'll tell ya all 'bout it."

Yumi and Tesla weren't just employees to him, but good friends so Shinji told them everything, leaving out his meltdown of course. It felt good to now have it out in the open to all the people he cared about. It felt good to show his child off to everyone he cherished. There was one person left on that list though and Shinji wasn't certain that it would go over as well as he hoped. Nnoitra had seemed far less than interested any time Shinji brought Yayoi up, even going so far as to change the subject abruptly and had even once offered to suck him off if he shut the hell up. Shinji had pouted and after an hour of the silent treatment Nnoitra had left for the night to stay at Starrk's. That had been the night before and the two of them hadn't spoken since. Shinji wasn't that worried about it, but it upset him the way Nnoitra was acting in regards to the situation.

Shinji looked at his watch and realized that it was time for him to leave if he was going to make it back to Nana's by the time she got home from school. He pressed Yayoi close to his chest as he stood to leave, saying his goodbyes to everyone as he made his way to the door. Tesla followed him, opening the door for him and clearing his throat just before Shinji stepped outside.

"Uhm, Shin-chan? I need to talk to you tomorrow if that's alright." Tesla said quietly and Shinji's brow furrowed.

"Sure, what about?" he asked.

Tesla gave him a small smile and replied simply, "Tomorrow." before walking away. Shinji frowned as he walked back to the underground parking where his car was parked and wondered what it was Tesla had to say to him.

* * *

"So, have you quit yet?" Takashiro asked Tesla when they met at their favorite love hotel later that night.

Tesla seemed to shrink a bit as he shook his head, knowing that the fact he hadn't said anything to Shinji about quitting would upset Takashiro. Takashiro bristled and took two steps forward, his hand lashing out and catching Tesla across the cheek. It wasn't hard enough to leave a mark this time but it was certainly hard enough to shock the smaller man. Tesla's hand rose to cover his face and he looked up into black eyes with wide hazel ones. Takashiro leaned forward, furious at Tesla, and spoke in a low and menacing voice.

"You little _idiot_. I think I'm being _more _than lenient with this situation. You tell him tomorrow or so help me I'll beat you black and blue. Do you understand me?"

Tesla nodded fervently and fought back tears. He didn't want to upset Takashiro but he also didn't want to quit the club. He liked working there and knew his leaving would bother not only Shinji but the business as well. He was, after all, the second most requested male there.

"Forgive me, Takashiro-sama. It's just that he's been so busy lately and…."

"I don't care!" Takashiro shouted and pushed Tesla down on the bed.

Tesla gulped and looked up at the portly man above him. "I promise. I will tell him tomorrow. No matter what." he said in a whispering voice and the man above him grinned.

"Of course you will. You love me, don't you?"

Tesla nodded and dropped his hand form his cheek. "Yes, Takashiro-sama. I love you."

* * *

A/N So~~~ Some interesting things happened here, ne? lol Couldn't help myself ;p Anyway, I'm not going ot say much about this chapter, I'll wait and see what you all have to say first. News: new Ichigo art over at the fanclub. This time I drew him from Solid Gold so please go check it out! Holiday cards are out and I'm pleased to say that I've even received some of yours! This is such a fun experience. If you wouldn't mind PMing me to let me know if you got yers that'd be awesome Duckies!

Anywho, I think that's it. Hoping to update again soon!

~Penny


	26. Calm Before The Storm

Calm Before The Storm

"Okaachan, don't ya think this might be a tad rude?" Shinji said as he pulled up to Nana's apartment complex the next morning. He hadn't had much of a choice to bring Etta along with him as she had shown up on his doorstep an hour before, dressed to impress in her best Winter wear and not willing to take no for an answer.

Etta smiled at her son and wrinkled her nose a bit. "Not at all!" she said brightly before opening the passenger side door and exiting the vehicle.

Shinji rolled his eyes and unbuckled, stepping out of his car and watching his mother take one step towards the dilapidated building and pause. Etta frowned and pursed her lips before looking pointedly at Shinji.

"They live _here_?" she asked, her blue eyes wide.

Shinji shut his door and zipped his jacket up as he nodded and waited for her to come around the other side of the car. Etta shut her mouth the entire walk up the rickety staircase but lost it when she stepped on something furry and stiff in the hallway.

"Oh, for the love of God, Shinji!" she squealed and grabbed hold of Shinji's arm.

"They pick up the trash tomorrow, okaachan." Shinji whispered and Etta's head snapped up sharply.

"This place needs to be condemned, Shin-chan." Etta whispered heatedly.

"It's not _that_ bad…."

"The hell it ain't!" she cut him off with a glare Shinji rarely saw from her.

"Shh!" Shinji shushed Etta as they approached the door and Etta took a deep breath, shaking herself and trying to look like she wasn't any amount of upset with the situation.

Shinji blew out his breath and raised his hand, rapping his gloved knuckles against the door a few times before letting the appendage fall to his side. The only sound they heard was the wind whistling through the broken pane of the window at the end of the short hallway before there was a small scraping sound and the door pulled slowly open. Nana looked first at Etta, her dark eyes going wide when she noticed the stranger. Etta smiled brightly at her and giggled.

"Oh, you _are_ cute!" she said, reaching out and pulling the startled young woman in for a tight squeeze.

"U-uh… th-thank you?" Nana stuttered and tried to smooth her clothing back into place when Etta finally let her go and stepped past her into the apartment.

Dark eyes slowly looked up into honey ones and Shinji gave Nana a half smile.

"Nana, this is my mother, Etta Hirako."

"Call me okaachan!" Etta waved but neither of the two younger people were looking at her.

"Sorry, I would have called but…." Shinji started, tipping his head to the side a bit as he lost his words.

"It-it's fine. Come in." Nana said, stepping out of Shinji's way to let him enter.

Etta was leaning over the bassinette with a smile on her face as she ran the backs of her fingers gently over Yayoi's soft cheek. Nana looked at her briefly before reaching for her book bag and slipping a small stack of spiral bound notebooks inside. Butterflies were at war in her stomach and she only hoped that she wasn't blushing. She wasn't ready to meet Shinji's mother, even if she _was_ her child's grandparent. She just knew that she was being judged harshly, even if the woman did seem to be rather nice. Shinji shifted in place, arms crossed over his chest as Nana pulled on her jacket and the silence wrapped around them like a blanket soaked in ice water.

"So…." Shinji started, trying to fill the void. Two sets of eyes looked at him expectantly and his mouth snapped shut. Fucking awkward.

"I… I think I'm all set." Nana said quietly and Shinji nodded, happy to get out of that small room with too many bodies in it.

"Oh, how 'bout I walk ya and let Shin-chan get Yo-chan ready?" Etta suggested, materializing next to Nana and linking her arm with the young woman.

"Uh…."

"Great! Be right back Shin-chan!" Etta called over her shoulder as she practically dragged Nana out of the room.

Shinji frowned after the two before shaking his head and closing the door. He bent over the bassinette and picked Yayoi up, cuddling her close and kissing the top of her head.

"Yer oba-chan's revealin' she's smarter than she looks." he whispered and smiled. "I feel sorry for yer mama right now…."

* * *

Halfway to the bus stop Etta cleared her throat and smiled at Nana. Nana tried not to be intimidated by this woman but Etta Hirako held a presence about her that was undeniable. Nana tried to smile back but failed miserably.

"I got an extra room. One each fer you and Yo-chan." Etta stated plainly and cocked her head to the side. "If yer interested." she added with a smile.

"O-oh. Well, thank you but…,"

Etta's smile stayed in place but something in her voice changed. "Ya think I'mma let my grandbaby and her mama stay in a place like this if I can fix it and make it better?"

Nana's eyes widened again and her mouth dropped open a bit. "Wha…?"

Etta's nose wrinkled a bit and she giggled. "It'd be so nice ta have a baby in the house again." she cooed. "And I bet it'd make things easier fer ya with school if ya had more help, ne?"

"Well yes but…,"

"Then it's all settled! I'll come by and help ya pack when Shin-chan drops off Yo-chan."

The bus came to a screeching halt in front of them and Etta turned, swooping down and pulling Nana into another tight hug before kissing her cheek and practically skipping away. The other people at the stop, whom Nana had yet to notice, stared on in a slight state of horror at the blonde woman's gestures and slowly boarded the bus.

"Are you getting on or what?" a gruff voice startled Nana and she turned, stepping up onto the bus to pay the fare. For some reason she felt both relieved and violated as she tried to wrap her mind around the feeling and she took her seat to ride to school.

* * *

Shinji sat behind his desk and resisted the urge to slip his shoes off. The flooring in his office was just concrete and it was sure to be cold as fuck and that was the only thing keeping them on. Etta had walked him all over the place at one of her favorite chain stores that morning and he was exhausted. But instead of the nap he had been hoping to grab while Yayoi took one, he was in his office waiting to hear what Tesla needed to tell him so bad. The other blond was fidgeting in the chair Shinji had placed in front of his desk and Shinji sighed loudly.

"Tes…."

"Look, Shin-chan. I… I think I need to… give you a two week notice." Tesla said in a stuttering rush of words and Shinji gaped at him.

"No." Shinji shook his head. "I mean why? What the hell?"

Tesla took a deep breath and frowned at the floor. "I just… think it's time I… stopped?"

"Bullshit! Oh my God, this is about that guy, isn't it?"

"Shin-cha-"

"Tesla! How many times is this gonna happen to ya before ya realize somethin's off?"

"Shin-chan, it's different this time." Tesla breathed, eyebrows going high on his forehead and eyes wide.

"That's what ya said last time and then the man's _wife _tried to run ya over."

"But Takashiro-sama is getting a divorce…."

"Is that what he toldja?" Shinji shook his head and rolled his eyes.

Tesla frowned. "He loves me…."

"He loves the way ya suck his cock!" Shinji shouted and Tesla blanched, sitting back in his chair a bit. Shinji took a deep breath to try and calm himself before he tried again. "Ya can't quit Tes. Not for a man."

"I have to, Shin-chan."

"Bullshit. Ya tell 'im ya ain't gonna do it 'cos ya like yer job and that's that."

Tesla nodded and continued to look at the floor. "I don't want to upset him." he said quietly. "But I do love my job." he continued even quieter.

"So tell him. Fuck Tes, you can do sooo much better than that. You _deserve _better than that."

"Shin I…." Tesla sighed and closed his eyes. "I can't… I can't tell him I didn't quit." Panic began to set in as he pictured the things Takashiro would do and say if Tesla refused to quit flashed in his mind's eye and he bit down on his bottom lip.

Shinji smirked and cocked an eyebrow as he leaned back in his chair, placing one elbow on the armrest and cupping the side of his face with his hand.

"Easy, ya tell him here. We got some big guys workin' stock now, that one guy, Kensei, is pretty scary lookin'. Tell that jerk here, where ya have witnesses and backup."

With aloud sigh Tesla fell back into his chair and seemed to sag a bit. "But then we'll break up."

"So what?" Shinji sneered. "Like I said, ya could totally do better than that piece of shit. Ya know how I feel 'bout guys hittin' ya." In all actuality Tesla really didn't have any clue as to how much that upset Shinji. The strong picking on the weak was something Shinji had never been able to deal with and didn't think he needed to. That wasn't to say that Tesla was weak physically but anyone who spent any amount of time with the man would know that Tesla could and would bend any which way just to please the man he was with.

"I know. I'm sorry Shin-chan." Tesla mumbled.

Shinji sighed. "Prove it and stop lettin' guys like that inta yer life."

A swift rundown of how things would be set up for Tesla's conversation with Takashiro and Shinji was on his way back to his mother's house to spend his last hour with his daughter. He pushed any thoughts of Tesla's plight out of his head, deeming it unimportant, and played some sweet, slow jazz as he drove to relax himself. He didn't want anything to ruin his time with his baby girl.

* * *

Shinji stepped out of the steaming bathroom clad only in the towel he had belatedly thought to pull around his waist and rolled his head in a circle. This had been one of the harder days with Yayoi. She had grown quite an attachment to Shinji since he had come into the picture and having to leave her alone had upset the both of them a bit. It wasn't that Yayoi didn't like Etta but it seemed that she definitely preferred Shinji to her. He was halfway down the hallway when his front door opened and Nnoitra walked through, pulling off his jacket and kicking the door shut behind him. Shinji put on a pout and rested a fist on a cocked hip.

"The hell ya doin' here? Thought ya were mad at me." he said scathingly

Nnoitra snorted and went to toss his wet and dirty jacket on the new, white couch. Shinji leapt forward, dropping the towel and shouting out a "Not on my couch!" Nnoitra pulled the jacket back and Shinji stumbled into the back of the couch, knocking his knee into the wood and hissing at the pain.

"Fuckin' spaz." Nnoitra muttered as he turned to hang it properly with the other jackets and coats.

"I _just_ fuckin' bought this thing." Shinji grumbled, rubbing his knee as he watched Nnoitra move about the room. "So what the fuck?"

Nnoitra's head shot up and he cocked an eyebrow at Shinji. "Ya want me ta leave?"

Shinji frowned. "No."

"Then shut the fuck up." Nnoitra yawned and Shinji huffed out a breath, just then realizing he was naked.

"Seriously, why are ya here? Ya saidja weren't comin' back for a week if I didn't shut up about Yo-chan."

Nnoitra rolled his eyes and pulled off his heavy boots. "Lookit that, first time I ever lied to ya."

"Don't be an ass." Shinji bent to retrieve his towel and returned it to his hip as he padded to the kitchen to start the water for tea.

Shinji busied himself with gathering cups and the honey that Nnoitra liked to use at night and froze when long thin arms wrapped around his shoulders and a bony chin rested on the top of his head.

"Wanted ta see ya. That so bad?" Nnoitra asked in a rough voice before yawing again.

"I guess not." Shinji said sulkily and Nnoitra smiled and kissed the top of Shinji's head.

"While I'm here you should gimmie a back rub." Nnoitra started and ended the sentence with a quick exhale of air. Shinji had elbowed him on the side and stepped out of his arms to pull the pot off the stove.

"So _that's _why yer here."

"And food." Nnoitra added with a smirk and Shinji rolled his eyes.

"Asshole."

Without really thinking about what he was doing, Shinji pulled out some leftovers and heated them up in the microwave for Nnoitra, setting the plate on the table before wandering off to brush and braid his hair. He liked the waves the braids left in his long hair when he did that and made quick work of it. Nnoitra was finished with his food and slouching on the couch by the time Shinji was dressed in his comfy night clothes and ready for relaxing. Nnoitra flipped silently through channels and Shinji sat near him on the couch, folding his legs under him and trying to get comfortable.

"So how's work going?" he asked and Nnoitra grunted in reply. Shinji sighed.

"Ya realize I don't speak Neanderthal, right?" Shinji snipped and Nnoitra turned his head to regard him almost thoughtfully.

"Busy." he added to his grunt and Shinji rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. Fine, don't talk to me…."

Nnoitra's head fell back against the cushions and he groaned. "Shut up. I'm tired, okay. I don't wanna talk about what's made me this way."

Shinji folded his arms over his chest and stared at the TV screen. He felt and heard Nnoitra sigh again and was only a little startled when he was pulled closer to Nnoitra's side by a long, strong arm. Nnoitra kissed the side of Shinji's head and nuzzled the freshly cleaned hair.

"God I love how ya smell in tha Winter." Nnoitra whispered, sending shivers up Shinji's spine.

"Yeah well ya stink. Go take a shower if ya wanna be this close."

A low rumbling laugh started in Nnoitra's chest and he pulled Shinji all the way into his lap, kissing Shinji's lips chastely as he did so.

"Ya like me stinky." he grinned.

Shinji made a show of it all, pinching his nose between thumb and forefinger and shaking his head adamantly. "Do not!"

"Fuckin' liar."

Shinji was about to deny it when his phone rang and he sighed, pushing up and out of Nnoitra's lap to retrieve it. He frowned at the number he saw and answered it quickly, hoping that nothing was wrong.

"Okaachan?"

"Oh good, yer still up!" Etta beamed happily through the phone. "Just thought I'd let ya know ya gotta pick Yo-chan up at my house from now on."

"'kay… wait what?"

"Oh, and I gave Nana yer old room. We moved all yer boxes out and down to the basement already."

"Okaachan! Ya _made_ her _move_?" Shinji asked in a loud and appalled voice.

"I didn't _make_ her. I just pointed out how much better off she'd be." There was a small moment of silence before Etta continued. "Besides, don't ya feel better as a papa knowing that Yo-chan is in a better, safer place now?"

Shinji sighed and lowered his head. "Ya know I am, but that's not the point, okaachan."

"Nana loves it here. She's in the big tub soakin' right now. Do ya know she's never soaked in a tub by herself before? Poor girl's been through so much in her short life."

"Okaachan, are ya sure 'bout this? I mean ya don't hafta…."

"Shin-chan, this is somethin' I can do to make someone else happy. Let me do it and go back to that man who's waitin' for ya on yer couch."

Shinji frowned. "I hate it when ya do stuff like that." he grumbled and Etta laughed before hanging up.

Shinji walked back to the couch and resumed his perch on Nnoitra's lap, much to the older man's delight. Shinji wrapped his arms around Nnoitra's neck and sighed, looking down into a single violet eye.

"Nnoi…," Shinji started, licking his lips before continuing. "I wantcha ta meet 'er."

Nnoitra rolled his eyes and tried to sit up, irritated that Shinji would bring that up then. "Shin…."

"Please, Nnoi? I'm not askin' ya ta love her, or even like her, just… meet her. For me?"

Nnoitra's eye narrowed at the dirty tactics Shinji was using this time out and he opened his mouth to comment on it when Shinji cut him off with a strange look on his face.

"Remember a few weeks back, when ya told me ya wanted to gag me, tie me to my couch and fuck me till I couldn't walk straight for a week?" Shinji asked, leaning forward and flicking his tongue at the edge of the flap of bandana over Nnoitra's left eye.

Nnoitra grinned and nodded. "'course."

Shinji reached up and pushed Nnoitra's hair behind his ear, angling his head and whispering, "I'll letcha do it tanight."

_So. Fucking. Tempting._

"Oh yeah?" Nnoitra's hands rested on Shinji's hips and began to knead his ass.

"All ya gotta do is agree." Shinji smirked.

"Andja say _I _fight dirty." Nnoitra muttered and Shinji giggled.

"Is that a yes I hear?" Shinji asked in a teasing voice as he sat back and grinned down at Nnoitra.

Nnoitra rolled his eye and shook his head. "Fine."

"Yay!" Shinji clapped his hands and hugged Nnoitra tightly as he bounced a couple times in his happiness. It was a start at least.

Shinji pulled back and cupped Nnoitra's face in his hands, leaning forward and placing his lips against Nnoitra's. Nnoitra's hand tightened around Shinji's hips and slowly crept back to his ass. Shinji's tongue tickled against Nnoitra's bottom lip and the larger man opened his mouth in greeting. Warm hands slid up the back of Shinji's shirt and he made a small noise as he coaxed Nnoitra's tongue out to play. Shinji moaned when his muscle met metal and he remembered the three studs in Nnoitra's tongue. Shinji leaned back a little, forcing Nnoitra to either lean as well or follow Shinji's mouth with his own. A long tongue flicked at Shinji's retreating lips and Shinji grinned before sliding the tip of his tongue in between the balls of Nnoitra's tongue rings. Nnoitra groaned and let Shinji play a moment before deepening the kiss and grinding his hips upward.

"But seriously, go shower first. There's only so much I can take." Shinji commented, pulling away and grinning widely at Nnoitra.

"Bitch." Nnoitra grumbled and stood up, pulling his shirt over his head. "Better have that shit ready when I'm done."

Shinji saluted Nnoitra and giggled when the man rolled his eye at him before trotting off and grabbing the supplies he would need for the rest of their evening.

* * *

Tesla wasn't sure how long he'd be able to avoid the subject of his job with Takashiro but he could tell that it wasn't going to be for very long. Already that night when the man had called him he had almost spilled but had managed to cover it up when Yumi called out that he had a client. Thankfully Takashiro was out of town for the next few days because of his company doing… something. Tesla didn't really ever listen to the man when he spoke unless it was commands or grunted words of affection. The car he was in stopped in front of his apartment and he reached for his shoulder bag, smiling and thanking the driver before handing over the fare and stepping out into the cold, wet wind. Tesla knew it wouldn't do him any good, but he pulled out his umbrella anyway and ran across the street as fast as he could.

By the time he reached the door he was soaking wet and ready for a nice hot shower before he fell fast asleep on his comfortable mattress. He fished out his key and opened the door quietly, noticing the windows were dark, so as not to wake anyone if they were sleeping. Tesla saw that the TV was still on first, the sound low and barely discernable as Tesla quietly shut the door behind him. He reached up to pull off his jacket when he noticed the movement on the couch. Hazel eyes immediately shifted to the couch and caught sight of a back glistening in sweat. And muffled groan was heard and springs squealed in protest as the back arched and rocked. It was an instant before Tesla realized what he was looking at and another before he found himself unable to move from his spot. Tesla heard Nnoitra growl something low and gruff, heard Shinji try to respond but only managing muffled, wet, and incoherent cries. Sharp slapping sounds of hot wet skin filled the silence and goose bumps broke out across Tesla's skin. He felt the heat rise in him, felt his arousal sparked and he closed his eyes. He shouldn't be there. He shouldn't be listening to or watching this.

When Tesla opened his eyes Nnoitra sat back on his heels and made an elaborate movement of his arms, Tesla catching a glimpse of Shinji was he was roughly rolled over onto his back. Nnoitra dipped his head and thrust his hips forward, moaning loudly when he did so.

"Ah, fuck yeah. Ya just eat me right up, dontcha?" Nnoitra husked and Tesla felt his knees go weak. Oh how he had missed that man's deep and mesmerizing voice grunting and growling commands in his ears from behind. Tesla could forget all about the pain in his ass when Nnoitra spoke to him.

Shinji made a noise that was somewhere between a squeal and a scream and Nnoitra picked up his pace from brutal thrusts to savage pounding. Suddenly loud hissing breaths were heard over Nnoitra's animalistic grunts and Shinji began to sob beneath the larger man.

"Oh… oh fuck… Nnoi… un-gah! Yes!"

Tesla moved then. He couldn't afford to get caught just standing there, watching these two men share a very private and intimate moment, especially with the quickly hardening member trapped between body and cloth. Slowly he inched by the couch, hoping to stay in Nnoitra's blind spot the entire time. He managed one last peek just before he entered the hallway, seeing for the first time a neon pink gag tossed casually on the floor and a thick dark pink satin rope tying Shinji's wrists to the feet of the couch. Tesla jumped out of sight and quickly hid in his room, able to escape the scene in the living room but far from able to escape the sounds. He took it was as punishment for spying for so long and crawled immediately into his bed.

* * *

"Hey, you busy today?" Ichigo asked Shinji in a phone call Saturday morning and the blond man shrugged.

"Not really. I mean I've got Yo-chan today, but that's not stoppin' me doing stuff."

"You should come over. Grimm wants to throw out the idea of a house warming party and I think it'd be really fun so I got him to compromise if it was just you and Nnoitra."

Shinji snorted. "How long did that take?"

Ichigo sighed dramatically. "Three days. I swear I'm losing my touch now that the kids are here. It's almost easier just to fucking let him have his way."

Shinji giggled. "Oh, c'mon Ichi. We all know who really wears the pants in yer relationship."

Ichigo chuckled. "So come over about noonish, alright? Don't bring anything or he'll flip out on you." Ichigo grumbled. "I've never met a man so adverse to parties _for him_."

"Yeah, ya'd think he'd be all over that shit with _his_ ego."

"Alright, enough badmouthing my man." Ichigo chuckled. "I'll see ya."

"See ya."

Shinji looked down at the car seat that held Yayoi and smiled at his sleeping daughter. He hadn't even gotten a chance to talk to Nana that morning, to apologize if she was at all uncomfortable with the situation, but Etta had already driven Nana to school. It was just after nine in the morning and Shinji was expecting Nnoitra back at ten to meet Yayoi. Now that the tentative plans had changed he wondered if he should just have Nnoitra meet him there instead of having him come all the way back out to Shinji's place. However, it might be better for Nnoitra to meet Yayoi first _then_ go hang out with Grimmjow, Ichigo and the kids. Shinji huffed a sigh and placed a fist on a cocked hip.

"Whaddya think?" Shinji asked Yayoi but the tiny baby made no sound. Shinji smiled softly at her and reached for his phone to tell Nnoitra to meet him at Ichigo's. It'd just be easier that way, most likely less stressful too.

* * *

Nnoitra sipped his beer and wondered how he had been talked into holding Tomoe. Again. It seemed the first thing Grimmjow did every time he saw Nnoitra anymore was shove the kid in his face. Nnoitra glared down at Tomoe who looked up at him with wide and slightly glassy eyes.

"Don't fuckin' 'spit up' on me, got it?"

Tomoe gurgled a reply and stuck her fist in her mouth before wobbling a bit and nearly toppling out of Nnoitra's lap. He reached out and caught her in time, looking around guiltily to see if Grimmjow or Ichigo had seen it happen. Ichigo was off in the kitchen and Grimmjow and coaxing Taichi into crawling. Nnoitra glanced down at Tomoe and narrowed his eye.

"Don't go gettin' me in trouble either." he grumbled.

Ichigo came out of the kitchen just as there was a knock at the front door and he wandered off to answer it. Nnoitra set Tomoe on the floor and hoped the clingy little girl would let him go without a fuss. He heard Shinji's voice and braced himself, not one bit eager to see the baby he knew was going to be with Shinji today. Shinji strut into the room, casually carrying the baby carrier in one hand and holding the strap of a diaper bag he had thrown over his opposite shoulder. He laughed at something Ichigo said and lifted the carrier to set it on the coffee table as if he had done that act his entire life. Nnoitra marveled a bit at how he could be so comfortable doing something like that until he remembered all the times he had babysat for that short guy at the club; Hana-something. Shinji had always had a soft spot for babies that Nnoitra had never understood.

He watched Shinji bend over and undo the buckles holding the tiny baby in the seat and slowly lifted her up, cradling her head has he pressed her against his chest. Shinji beamed down at the baby and Ichigo smiled before his eyes traveled to his own children. Grimmjow smirked and shook his head, slapping Shinji on the back and congratulating him on joining him and Ichigo in fatherhood.

"It's a fuckin' ride, I'll say that." Grimmjow chuckled and Shinji nodded.

Shinji's eyes finally caught Nnoitra's and he grinned, biting down briefly on his lower lip before taking a slow step towards the tall man. Nnoitra frowned harder that he had been and his eyes fixed on the tiny form in Shinji's arms.

"Nnoi, this is Yayoi." Shinji said and he resituated the baby so that Nnoitra could see her face.

Nnoitra didn't react outwardly save for a slight narrowing to his visible eye and a tightening of his lips. His nostrils flared briefly but that was it, and Shinji's eyebrows pulled together for a moment. Inside Nnoitra couldn't fathom a way to understand what was going on. She was tiny and pale and wrinkly and her face was scrunched up making her look like an angry old man but he still caught himself wanting to reach out and touch her cheek. He was appalled at the thought and balled his fist, sneering a bit and leaning back.

"Cute." he mumbled and Shinji frowned.

"I just hope she doesn't end up lookin' like _you_." Grimmjow said loudly and Ichigo slapped his shoulder.

Shinji sneered and looked away from Nnoitra to address Grimmjow's comment.

"You had just better hope one'a yer boys isn't a better dancer than Ichi was. Or Heaven forbid Tomo-chan." he said huffily before walking away to sit with the triplets in the play area.

Ichigo whispered fiercely at Grimmjow who responded in kind before Ichigo stalked away to be with Shinji and the kids. Nnoitra walked up to his side and grunted.

"Thought you an' Blondie were on better terms when I left?" Nnoitra said and Grimmjow snorted.

"It's a long story." Grimmjow answered, crossing his arms over his chest and looking adamantly away from Nnoitra's gaze.

"And?"

Grimmjow sighed and walked out of the living room to the kitchen, Nnoitra following behind him. Grimmjow pulled two beers out of the refrigerator and handed one to Nnoitra before he sighed yet again.

"So fuckin' tell." Nnoitra pushed and Grimmjow glared at the counter.

"Ichi and I got in a fight a bit after you left and to get back at me…," Grimmjow took a long swig of his beer and a deep breath. "He kissed Blondie right in front of me."

Nnoitra stared at him with one wide violet eye before the corner of his mouth twitched.

"Yer shittin' me."

"Why would I lie and make myself look bad?" Grimmjow asked incredulously and Nnoitra laughed.

The fuck were ya fightin' about that made him do _that_?"

Grimmjow frowned. "Nothing. Anyway, every time I see Blondie now I think of that kiss and it fuckin' pisses me off."

Nnoitra snickered into his beer and shook his head. He'd sure missed some fun things while he was gone.

"So, whaddya think of the new brat?" Grimmjow asked and Nnoitra grunted.

"So what? Don't she live with her mama?"

Grimmjow smirked. "Yer an idiot if you think that kid doesn't change things for you two."

"Fuck you."

Grimmjow laughed. "I'll be getting to say 'I told you so.' real soon I think."

Nnoitra sneered into his beer as Grimmjow continued to laugh and caught sight of Shinji and Ichigo fussing over Yayoi. Nnoitra frowned and rubbed his thumb over the mouth of the beer bottle he was holding. He'd just gotten Blondie back and now something else was in the way trying to fuck shit up. Nnoitra took another pull from his beer and set the bottle aside. It couldn't be that bad, could it?

* * *

A/N Yay! I finally posted something! lol Most of you know the details behind the delay and those who want to know can head over the the FC to find out. Anyway... I hope everyone liked this chapter and I'd love to hear what you think!

Enjoy~

~Penny


	27. Beginning of the End

Beginning of the End

Shinji leaned forward and whispered to Ichigo, "Is he still pissed about forever ago?" he asked.

Ichigo sighed and rolled his eyes. "Yes and it's stupid."

"I'll say. You kissed me. He should be holdin' the grudge against _you_."

Ichigo shrugged. "He'd be all kinds of pissed if I had dragged something out this long."

Shinji smirked. "Are ya two like… havin' a fight er somethin'?"

Ichigo sighed. "Not exactly." When Shinji looked at Ichigo expectantly, chocolate eyes flicked to see that Grimmjow was occupied with Nnoitra enough not to be paying attention to what Shinji and he were doing.

"I think we both just have a little too much on our plates at the moment." Ichigo muttered, picking Sorin up off the floor and kissing the top of his head before setting him in his lap. "I wanted a day to actually relax for once. We don't really get to do that much because of the kids and work and stuff. Plus Grimmjow's taking off next Friday for his monthly conference thing."

"Aw, poor Ichi's lonely." Shinji teased and ignored the withering glare Ichigo sent his way. "Ya want some help next weekend then?" he asked and Ichigo shrugged.

"I wasn't… I didn't tell you that because…."

"Oh come _on_ Ichigo. I wouldn't offer 'nless I wanted ta actually help." Shinji grinned and looked down at Yayoi. "'sides, these four are basically cousins so they should be around each other often."

Ichigo smirked and nodded. "Yeah." Ichigo watched Grimmjow and Nnoitra escape out the back door and he scowled at the glass as it was slowly shut.

"I think he's hiding something from me." he blurt out and Shinji looked up at him, startled a bit.

"Like what?" Shinji blinked.

Ichigo shrugged but kept his eyes fixed on the sliding glass door. "I don't know but… when I find out I'm gonna kick his ass because it's probably something that's gonna piss me off."

Shinji giggled and didn't bother trying to hide it. "I'm sure it's nothin' big. That idiot loves you more than his cats." Ichigo smacked Shinji in the shoulder and sent him a withering glare which only caused the blond man to laugh harder.

Outside, hidden by overgrown trees and bushes, Grimmjow snagged the cigarette Nnoitra was smoking and took a greedy inhale. Nnoitra's eyebrow arched at this and he took the stick back when Grimmjow had finished.

"That ain't a good sign." Nnoitra commented and Grimmjow grunted.

"Shut up, I'm stressed the fuck out. It's not hurting anything as long as Ichigo doesn't find out."

Nnoitra snorted and shook his head. "Man I'd hate ta be you when that happens. Listenin' ta that whiney bitch drone on and on 'bout how bad it is fer ya."

Grimmjow sighed. "Shut up."

"So ya gonna stand up fer yerself so I can finally get ya those big girl panties?"

Grimmjow punched Nnoitra's arm and stole his cigarette again. "Fuck you, ass."

"So what, ya wanna little smoke to ease stress a bit? Ain't a big deal." Nnoitra shrugged, ignoring the pain in his arm.

"Oh yes it fuckin' is. I have three kids, Nnoi. I got no business smokin' anymore." Grimmjow grumbled.

"Che." Nnoitra pulled out another cigarette from his pack and lit it up. "Kitty Bitch's got yer cock whipped big time."

Grimmjow grunted, whether in agreement or negation Nnoitra couldn't tell, and bent, reaching for the coffee can he kept his butts in before he realized he didn't need to do that if he was with Nnoitra. Grimmjow grunted again and stood, looking back towards the house to see if Ichigo was looking at him.

"Fuck you and gimmie another drag."

* * *

Three days had passed since Shinji, Yayoi and Nnoitra had been over at Grimmjow and Ichigo's and Ichigo was delighted by the fact that he was getting home earlier than expected for once. He wanted to surprise Grimmjow and the kids, make an awesome dinner and then enjoy some cuddle time with Grimmjow where the both of them weren't completely exhausted. He stepped inside the house and smiled when it was completely quiet. Looked like he was going to be getting some of that alone time with Grimmjow first, he thought as he toed off his shoes and placed his jacket on the rack near the door. They had a closet for such things but at the moment it was still filled with boxes. Seeing the living room empty, Ichigo padded as quietly as he could down the hall to check Grimmjow's office and frowned when he found that empty as well. Grimmjow's car was still there so he had to be somewhere.

Back out in the living room Ichigo looked towards the kitchen and noticed that the sliding glass door that led to the backyard was slightly open. Ichigo pursed his lips and walked towards it, pulling the door back on silent rollers and looking into the overgrown recesses of his yard. He didn't see anything at first, only various shades of green and brown, and he was about to shut the door again when he saw a streak of blue. Ichigo paused, one hand dangling by his side and the other still holding on to the metal framing of the door, and waited. He heard a cough and a rustling before he saw Grimmjow emerge from behind the overgrowth and freeze. Blue eyes went wide and Grimmjow's mouth dropped open a bit when he caught sight of Ichigo standing in the doorway.

_Fuck._

"What are you doing back there?" Ichigo asked and Grimmjow shrugged; a quick jerk of his shoulder really.

"Nothin'." he mumbled but stayed where he was. If he walked forward Ichigo would smell it and know exactly what he had been doing.

"Weirdo. Get inside, it's fucking cold." Ichigo said, pulling the sliding door open more and stepping back into the house.

Grimmjow took a deep breath and started to walk forward when he realized he was still holding the butt of the half-crushed cigarette he had been smoking. _Double fuck._ Grimmjow stepped back and reached into the bushes, grabbing the old coffee can he used to dispose of things. He pulled back the plastic lid and was just tossing the butt inside when Ichigo's voice reached his ears again. Only much, much closer.

"What the hell is that?" Ichigo asked and Grimmjow spun around, hiding the can behind his back.

"Uh… nothing." he answered lamely and felt stupid for it.

"Is…." Ichigo sniffed the air and his eyes went wide. "Oh my God! You're smoking again!"

"No!" Grimmjow defended, biting his cheek after the lie.

"You liar!" Ichigo reached behind Grimmjow and wrenched the coffee can from his hands, spilling some of the contents in the process. Grimmjow could definitely no longer deny what he was doing now and he sighed dramatically.

"How long have you been hiding this from me?"

"I dunno…." Grimmjow muttered and Ichigo cocked a hip, giving Grimmjow the you-had-better-stop-fucking-with-me look. "A while."

"Are you doing this around the kids?"

"No! I've been showering like fucking crazy and doing a shit ton of laundry…." Grimmjow blurt out and managed to stop himself before he confessed anything else.

"You did all that just to keep this from me?"

"Yeah. I mean no! Fuck." Grimmjow hung his head and tried to shake off the ashes that were sticking to his hand. "I didn't want the smoke around the kids so I was trying to get it off me…."

"I can't believe this." Ichigo said, shaking his head and looking into the half-filled can. "Well you have to quit. There's patches and gum and pills and therapy…." he added matter-of-factly and Grimmjow's head shot up.

"But…"

"No buts Grimmjow." Ichigo snapped and Grimmjow felt like he was five years old again and getting yelled at by his father for cutting the dog's hair with scissors.

Grimmjow huffed out a breath, his shoulders sagged a bit and he nodded in acquiescence. Ichigo stalked back to the house with the coffee can still in his hands and Grimmjow knew that he was in deep shit this time. He hadn't fucked up this bad since… well since the fight right before they decided to have the kids when Ichigo…. Grimmjow shook his head, not wanting to think about that incident, and walked back to the house and what was sure to be a very long, tense night.

* * *

"Tesla, you wouldn't be avoiding me, now would you?" Takashiro asked in a sickly sweet voice that made Tesla's blood run a tad too cold.

"N-no. Not at all, Takashiro-sama. I've been working…."

"I thought I told you to quit." Takashiro snapped and Tesla winced.

"I had to give a two week notice, I told you that." Tesla said in a pleading voice.

"I'll be back in town Friday. That is your last day whether the two weeks is up or not. Understand?"

Tesla closed his eyes as a combination of fear of love washed over him and he nodded before answering. "Yes, Takashiro-sama. I'll inform Shin-chan that that will be my last day."

Tesla hung up the phone and rested his forehead against the wall. He wanted to make everyone happy but in this case he knew someone would be upset. He loved Shinji and he loved his work at Solid Gold, loved the entertaining he did even when it involved older women that he had absolutely no interest in. But Takashiro-sama…. Tesla couldn't place exactly what he loved about the man but he knew for certain that's what it was. And he couldn't go against the man he loved, could he? Tesla sighed and squeezed his eyes shut. He had promised Takashiro that he would quit, but he had also promised Shinji that he would not.

_Be strong, Tesla. Shinji is right. You can't stay with Takashiro-sama if he's going to control so much of your life._

Tesla stood up straight again, rolled his shoulders and took a deep, cleansing breath before pasting a smile on his face and heading back out to work and the client he had waiting for him.

* * *

Nnoitra couldn't work Wednesday afternoon because of an accident at the worksite that morning. He had been more than ready to get to it but Starrk had given everyone the day off for some reason. _Asshole just wants ta go fuck his new girlfriend_, Nnoitra thought to himself as he reached for and opened Shinji's apartment door. He hadn't bothered to call to see if the man was there or not but his full intention was to break in and raid the refrigerator if Shinji had not been home. But the blond man was there after all and currently engaged in changing a very stinky diaper. Nnoitra wrinkled his nose, thinking that he had hoped after staying with Grimmjow this last time that it would be the last time he would have to smell something that bad, and shut the door harder than he really needed to.

Shinji's head shot up and he sent Nnoitra a strange look before he closed the clean diaper over Yayoi's little bottom and stood to dispose of the dirty one.

"Oh good, watch her while I run this down to the dumpster." Shinji said in a rush as he stepped into a pair of rain boots.

"No way!" Nnoitra said indignantly as he looked down at the too tiny baby lying on a changing pad.

Shinji rolled his eyes. "Come _on_ Nnoi. I'll be gone like three minutes. Less. _You_ want this stinky thing in the house longer than it needs ta be?" Shinji asked, waving the diaper in Nnoitra's direction.

Nnoitra's lip curled and he leaned back, causing Shinji to giggle.

"Just pick her up if she starts crying." he called over his shoulder before stepping outside into the horribly wet weather.

"Fuck you." Nnoitra muttered to himself after Shinji was gone. "I ain't pickin' that thing up."

Yayoi made a small noise and Nnoitra scowled at her, willing her to stay quiet. It didn't work of course and after a couple attempts of expressing rage for being left alone on the floor, Yayoi broke out with a small cry that quickly escalated to a full out wail. Nnoitra's shoulders hunched at the sound and he grit his teeth, looking longingly at the front door in hopes that Shinji would miraculously return at that very moment. Instead Yayoi got louder and as Nnoitra edged closer for a better look he noticed that she was going quite red in the face.

"Hey, shut it." he growled, part of him knowing that it wouldn't work and another part warning him that he could make it all far worse.

Tiny arms incased in cloth rose to shake and rail at the air above her and Nnoitra let out a noise he'd never admit sounded very similar to a whine.

"Knock it off, he'll be right back." he said, bending over the small form and frowning.

Yayoi opened her eyes and looked straight up at him, or so Nnoitra thought she was looking right at him, before letting out the loudest cry she had as of yet. Nnoitra clenched his jaw and dropped to his knees, reaching out and gently taking hold of a very small foot.

"See, y'ain't alone, so quit cryin'." he tried. It didn't work.

"Fuckin'… it's been three minutes, right?" Nnoitra asked himself out loud, looking at the digital display on the DVR before he realized he had no idea when Shinji had left.

Yayoi continued to cry and Nnoitra could only frown at her. She was so small, surely if he tried to pick her up he'd end up hurting her, and that was sure to piss more than just Shinji off. Tiny hands waved in the air and Yayoi's chin began to shake with her cries. Nnoitra's lip curled and he reached out tentatively as he tried to remember what Grimmjow had said about holding babies.

"Support the neck and butt…." he muttered again and slipped the fingers of both hands under the fragile neck.

Once he felt that he was fairly secure, Nnoitra hooked his thumbs under Yayoi's armpits and lifted her slowly from the ground, a sick sense of panic coiling in his belly the moment she left the floor and began to dangle in midair. He held Yayoi out at arms-length for a moment as he took a deep breath and tried to remember what he was supposed to do next.

"Just like a cat…." he muttered.

Slowly Nnoitra brought Yayoi closer to his chest until she was touching him, slipping one hand down to cup her diaper clad bottom and arranging the other so that it provided all the support to her neck. Nnoitra looked down at the tiny head and frowned when Yayoi didn't stop crying. Nnoitra stood and looked around the room again to see if there was anything at all to help him out and realized that even if there was he'd have no idea what to look for anyway. So instead of doing anything useful that he could figure, Nnoitra began to pace and think up ways to kill Shinji for leaving him alone with this tiny force of nature. Just when he thought Yayoi was starting to relax the front door opened and Shinji rushed inside, shutting it quickly before shaking his entire body.

"Holy fuck it's cold outside." Shinji said, slipping out of his boots and turning to see Nnoitra standing in the middle of the living room holding his daughter. Shinji grinned and giggled.

"That's a good look for you."

Nnoitra seemed less than amused. "What the fuck took ya so long?" he grit out and Shinji rolled his eyes.

"It started hailing so I waited a bit to see if it'd stop. I wasn't gone _that_ long."

"The fuck ya weren't. She started freakin' the fuck out the minute ya left."

Shinji smiled softly at Nnoitra and bit his bottom lip. "But she's doin' fine now."

Nnoitra opened his mouth to respond that, no, Yayoi was _not_ doing fine, when he realized that the baby was quiet and sleeping soundly against his chest.

"When…?"

"Either she wore herself out or she likes ya." Shinji giggled and trotted down the hall to turn the heater on.

"Well fuckin' take 'er then."

Shinji shook his head as he warmed himself in front of the heater and giggled at Nnoitra's frown.

"It might wake her up again if I do. Yer just gonna hafta hold her for a bit more. Ain't gonna kill ya."

Inside, Shinji's stomach was doing a rowdy round of flip-flops at the sight of Nnoitra holding his baby girl. Not to mention he was pretty sure his heart was going to explode. He had figured that Nnoitra would just ignore Yayoi until Shinji got back from doing what he had to but when he had opened that door and seen the man he loved he had almost started crying like a baby himself. Nnoitra would never agree with this but he did look rather good with a baby in his arms.

"Says _you_." Nnoitra grumbled and went back to pacing just to give himself something to do.

Once Shinji was warmed up enough he did take Yayoi out of Nnoitra's arms, gently laying her in the bassinette she had been using before Nana had been roped into moving in with Etta. Once she was settled Shinji turned around, reached up and pulled Nnoitra down for a searing kiss. A long arm snaked around Shinji's waist and when he pulled back the tall man was smiling again.

"Thank you." Shinji whispered and smiled.

Nnoitra snorted and looked away. "Whatever. I ain't doin' it again."

Shinji giggled and kissed Nnoitra once more before the two of them grabbed some leftover Thai food and settled in to watch a movie.

* * *

Nana was the only one home when Shinji brought Yayoi back and Shinji was glad for it. He hadn't had that much of a chance to talk to her about the move yet because his mother was always around. Nana prepared a bottle while Shinji put everything away and settled into one of Etta's big comfy chairs to feed her. Shinji sat on the couch and watched for a moment as he tried to gather his thoughts. The day had been a long one but the surprise visit from Nnoitra had been the most taxing on his system. In a good way though.

"So, how ya likin' it here?" Shinji started and Nana looked up at him.

"Your mother is very nice." she said thoughtfully. "She's being more than helpful with Yayoi and myself."

"She ain't tryin' ta make ya do stuff ya don't wanna is she? Okaachan can be very… overbearing at times."

Nana smiled softly and shook her head. "I like your mother. She doesn't have to be nice to me at all and she's opened her door to us. I'll admit it was strange at first but I really am grateful for everything she has done."

Shinji sighed. "Well, I guess as long as ya ain't all weird about it it's fine."

Shinji let himself relax a bit, knowing that he had to get to the office soon and get a few things done today. It wasn't that late but he really should be on his way already.

"Oh, I clipped Yo-chan's fingernails today. They were super long and she cut her face this morning with them." Shinji said, sitting up and crossing to the chair to show Nana the little cuts Yayoi had on the side of her face.

"Oh." Nana breathed and seemed for a moment to be upset. "How do you know so much about taking care of babies?" she asked after a moment of silence.

"I used to help take care'a my cousins when they were little. 'Course I was pretty little too but my aunt always let me help out and she taught me all kinds of things."

"Oh." Nana blinked. "Your mother never mentioned anything about other family."

Shinji smiled sadly and brushed the back of one finger against Yayoi's cheek. "That's 'cos we don't talk with them no more."

Nana knew she shouldn't ask but let her curiosity get the better of her, something that had been happening more and more since she moved into Etta's house.

"Why?"

"Because they disowned us when I came out of the closet about eight years ago."

Nana's eyes went wide and the bottle slipped from her hand a bit before she caught it. "That's… that's awful."

Shinji smirked. "Whatever. I know if my papa was still alive he'd still love me and that's all that matters. Fuck the rest of 'em, ne?"

* * *

Tesla was at a loss as to what to do with the situation but Shinji seemed to have everything under control. They would arrange for Takashiro to come to the club Friday evening and Tesla would confront him then in front of the staff and customers. Shinji had figured that, hopefully, the man would have the sense not to cause a scene in front of so many people but figured if he did he could quickly have the situation under control. He had spoken with Kensei, one of the other hosts, and a man named Chad, the bouncer, and alerted both of them that they may have issues that night. Everyone else was ready for it as well. All that was left was to wait until Friday to set everything into motion and hope things went as smoothly as possible.

But Tesla was scared that things would go wrong. Scared that Takashiro would cause a scene. Scared that someone would get hurt. And he knew, without a doubt, that if anything like that happened it would be all Tesla's fault. Thursday evening was already upon them and Tesla couldn't manage to sit still. Two of his clients had asked if he was okay and he had almost spilled everything to them. When it happened a third time Tesla went to Shinji and asked to go home early. Shinji took pity on him and sent him on his way.

Now, lying face first on his bed, Tesla began to fret about the coming evening. Again. Life was so much easier for him when he didn't have people standing up for him. When all he had to do was obey his lover and make him happy. Tesla buried his face in his pillow and wished tomorrow would never come.

* * *

Nnoitra met Shinji at Solid Gold Thursday and was surprised when he was greeted by a large, quiet man at the front door.

"Can I help you?" the man asked and Nnoitra sneered.

"Nope." Nnoitra answered and walked past the man. Or tried to anyway.

"I'm sorry sir. Unless you have an appointment I can't let you into the club." the man blocking Nnoitra's way said in a monotone.

"Che. I don't need a fuckin' appointment I'm fuckin' yer boss. Now move b'fore I do somethin' that'll make him bitch at me."

"Chad, is there an issue here?" a soft voice asked and both men turned to see Yumi approach them.

"Hey, you know me right?" Nnoitra asked, taking a chance and stepping more forward. "Tell this guy ta get the fuck outta my way."

"Hmm… I wonder." Yumi said with a smirk and he tapped his chin with a delicate and well-manicured finger.

"Ya little bitch…."

"Well, I thought I had remembered you but that insult seems to have scared the memory away."

"Ya stupid faggot, let me… hey, outta my way asshole!" Nnoitra shouted when Chad stepped in front of him again.

"If you don't lower your voice I'll be forced to escort you from the property."

"Yeah like that'll happen."

"What the _hell_ is going on here?"

Shinji appeared from behind Yumi and frowned when he noticed his new bouncer and Nnoitra. As much as he liked the new guy, Shinji was certain that Nnoitra would demolish him so he sighed and stepped a bit closer.

"Chad, it's okay. This is my boyfriend, Nnoi. You can let him in from now on, okay." Shinji said and Nnoitra grinned.

"Yeah, so get the fuck outta my way." Nnoitra sneered triumphantly.

"_Unless _I specifically tell you _not _to let the idiot in." Shinji continued and Nnoitra frowned at him.

Once they were back at Shinji's office Shinji left the door open and asked Nnoitra what he was doing there. The long days of getting up early, watching Yayoi all day and then coming in to work until after midnight was starting to get to him and he was glad that after tomorrow he'd be able to take a day or two off.

"Needed ta talk to ya 'bout some things." Nnoitra answered, plopping in the chair in front of Shinji's desk before grinning at the blond. "Wanna fuck first?"

"Nnoi…." Shinji said in a warning tone and Nnoitra rolled his eye.

"Fine. Look, I gotta take off fer a couple days. Ya wanted me ta let ya know 'bout things like that right?"

Shinji frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. "For Aizen?"

Nnoitra nodded.

"I thoughtcha were done doin' things fer him"

Nnoitra groaned. "Hey, this is gonna get me a shit ton 'a money so I can get my own place again so quit bitchin'. 'nless ya _want_ me ta keep livin' with Starrk…."

"Don't yell at me asshole." Shinji shot back.

"I wasn't yellin'!"

Shinji's leg began to bounce and his eyes rolled. "Can't ya figure out another way ta get money?"

Nnoitra shrugged. "I could rob a bank."

"That's not funny."

Nnoitra snorted. "Yeah well, with the money I'll make off this job I might as well rob a bank if I quit it. Which I can't, so drop it."

"Whatever. Are ya done now?"

Nnoitra shook his head. "So yer just gonna be a bitch about this then?"

Honey eyes locked on a violet one and narrowed to slits. "Yes, I am. I toldja I hate this shi…."

"And I toldja I don't give a fuck. Ya knew who I was when we started fuckin' and gettin' pissy now ain't gonna change that."

"Oh yes, be _real_ proud yer a yakuza grunt. What, ya off ta kill someone again?" Shinji responded in a snooty tone and Nnoitra's lip curled.

The tall man stood and bent over the desk, forcing eye contact with Shinji and exuding an air that Shinji rarely saw.

"I am proud 'a my job Blondie and no I ain't killin' nobody. This time." he added. "Now we gonna go home and fuck this anger outta ya or am I spendin' the next few nights alone?"

"Ya don't intimidate me, Nnoi." Shinji said, trying to hide a small tremor in his voice.

"Bullshit, Blondie. What's it gonna be?"

Eyes downcast, Shinji mulled things over before sighing and forcing his body to relax. He didn't like giving in so easily but he also wasn't up for a fight or a night alone tonight.

"Are ya ridin' home with me?" Nnoitra grinned and nodded once before sitting back in the chair. "I'll be done in an hour, just wait here."

Shinji left the office and Nnoitra put his feet up on the desk, ready for a relaxing evening of what was sure to be hot angry sex with Shinji. A small smile stretched his lips and he placed his hands behind his head. He could handle that.

* * *

Shinji patted Tesla's shoulder and smiled at him.

"It'll be fine." he said and Tesla nodded jerkily.

Shinji checked his watch and looked over at Kensei who was standing by the bar, ready to step in if needed. Tesla fidgeted with the wine glass on the table in front of the plush couch he was seated at and Shinji slapped his hand away before grabbing his face and forcing him to look at him.

"It will be fine. Ya tell him what ya need to and then we'll go home and get a little drunk and this'll all blow over, ne?"

Tesla nodded again, this time more steady, and Shinji smiled again. He had complete confidence in his plan and even if Takashiro got out of hand he knew he was prepared for it. Yumi approached the table and bent to whisper in Shinji's ear before walking back to his own booth. Shinji turned to Tesla and gave him a quick hug.

"You'll do brilliantly, Tes." he said before standing and walking a safe distance away.

Tesla looked up and watched Takashiro approach, closing his eyes for a moment and trying to steady himself. Shinji was right. It was fine and everything would go fine and Tesla would do fine. It was fine. Hazel eyes opened once more and Tesla stood, smiling and holding a hand out in front of him.

"Welcome, Takashiro-sama. Please, take a seat."

* * *

A/N So I've been suuuuper slacking on replying to reviews and I apologize for that. You all deserve better and I promise I will get to them soon. Now, in regards to this elusive IchiShin kiss that happened about two year prior to the current storyline... I'm writing it out right now. Hoping to post it as a special chapter very soon. I figured it deserved it's own little bit of space and I hope you all enjoy the insanity when I do finish it.

Now about _this_ chapter. I know it seems a bit jumpy at places, but I'm trying to wrap somethings up and get tothe point where I can move forward and finally get this story finished. If you haven't noticed with the last couple of titles, SG is coming to an end soon. I think we'll all be sad to see it go but I hope you enjoy the ride to the end. Stock up on tissues now because I promise you that you will need them. Anyway, wow fast update, ne? It's beena while since I did something like this and it feel sreally good. I've been waiting to write the ending of this for what feels like forever and I'm glad to finally be on it. Not to mention the research for the upcoming chapters, while time comsuming, is really interesting.

So I'll stop rambling now, lol. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and the ones to come!

Love you Duckies and thanks for much for the continued support~

~Penny


	28. Upset

Upset

"Welcome, Takashiro-sama. Please take a seat."

Takashiro sat in the booth Tesla was already waiting for him at and looked around the room as he did so. Even if he did hate the blond that messed with Tesla's head so much he had to admit that the place had style. A lot of the host clubs he had been to over the years always felt cheap, like someone had painted over plastic and tried to pass it off as gold. This was far from the case at _Solid Gold_ though and Takashiro took a moment to drink the sight in until he'd had his fill. Tesla would wait, like a good little boy, for as long as he wanted him too and they both knew it.

"Why did you want me to come here, Tesla?" Takashiro asked as he reached for the wine glass that had been set on the table in front of him. Tesla took his cue and immediately filled it with deep red wine.

"I thought that… it'd be nice to spend my last night here with you, Takashiro-sama." Tesla replied quietly and Takashiro grunted.

"Fine. We'll leave after I've finished my wine."

Tesla nodded and placed his hands in his lap, waiting silently while Takashiro finished his wine, fretting over the right moment to tell the man that he wasn't leaving with him as planned tonight. That he wouldn't ever be leaving with him anywhere again. He wanted to get up and run out the front door. Tesla didn't want to be there. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want the conflict that was sure to happen. He didn't want to disappoint anyone he loved and cared for. But here he was, on the precipice, about to jump and he was scared. He looked up and saw Takashiro sip down the last bit of wine from his glass and set the glass heavily back down on the table. Small black eyes caught Tesla looking and narrowed.

"Alright. I'm finished, let's go."

"W-wouldn't you like to have one more? It's really good wine." Tesla pressed for more time. To do what he wasn't sure, but he still wanted it.

Takashiro shook his head and glared at Tesla. "I'm not one of your customers, you little whore. I said let's go."

Tesla swallowed, his eyes darting to where he knew Shinji was standing before returning to the man in front of him. This was it, the moment he had been dreading. He couldn't back down now.

"I… I'm not going." Tesla practically whispered and the air in the room seemed to still.

"What did you just say?" Takashiro growled out and Tesla winced before looking up again.

"I don't want to quit my job." He tried again, this time his voice a bit stronger.

"You…!"

"And… and I… I think we should…." Tesla felt his chest constrict and he fought past the pain that was blooming there. Frightened though defiant eyes looked up and met with Takashiro's dark ones and he swallowed yet again.

"I can't see you anymore, Takashiro-sama."

The only thing Tesla could hear at this point was the blood rushing and pounding in his ears. Takashiro didn't move and Tesla couldn't breathe. He'd never broken up with anyone. Ever. He didn't like this feeling; guilt, relief, anger, shame, and an odd amount of elation. Takashiro's face began to turn red, his hands shaking in fists on the table and breath hissing out through his nostrils.

"What did you say?" Takashiro practically spat and Tesla winced again.

"I…."

"I heard you!" Takashiro shouted and Tesla's mouth snapped shut. His eyes once again found Shinji, the blond was watching the table with narrowed eyes, before snapping back to Takashiro. Too late. Takashiro looked in the direction Tesla had been looking and a sneer twisted his face as he turned back.

"I knew this had something to do with him." The man muttered darkly. "We're leaving. We'll talk about this when we get home."

Takashiro stood and glared at Tesla but the younger man didn't move. "… I'm not going, Takashiro-sama."

For a moment it looked as if Takashiro were going to yell or, maybe, hopefully, just walk away. Tesla felt that hope rise in his chest and expand a little but it was dashed to pieces when Takashiro launched himself over the table and slammed his fist into Tesla's unprotected face. There was a loud commotion and Tesla felt the rush of people around him, could feel Takashiro struggling and shouting above him. The man managed to land one more blow, this one catching Tesla I the shoulder, before he was pulled completely off Tesla and Shinji was there, pulling Tesla out of the seat and to his side.

"I think you need ta leave, Takashiro-san. Before I'm forced to call the police about this." Shinji hissed and turned his attention to Tesla.

"C'mon, you heard the boss." Kensei said and with the bouncer, Chad, pulled the man out of the building.

"Fuck you, you little faggot!" Takashiro shouted and Shinji ignored him. "You'll regret butting into my business. I promise you will!"

Shinji frowned at Tesla and sighed. "Sorry. I should have had them closer." He muttered before handing Tesla off to Yumi.

"I'm sorry for the disruption." Shinji raised his voice to address the customers staring at the scene that had just happened. "How about a bottle of champagne for each table for the trouble?"

A few people laughed, someone clapped and the conversations rose again as Shinji instructed Lisa to prepare the bottles, before checking the front of the building to make sure the man had left. Kensei and Chad seemed to be having issues with Takashiro still and Shinji stepped outside to mediate.

"Do we still have a problem here?" Shinji sneered and Kensei stopped in the middle of what he had been shouting at the other man.

"He's not gonna leave unless we either make him or call the police." Kensei looked back at Takashiro. "Or you could just let me kick the crap out of him and be done with it."

"Maybe if I wasn't tryin' to run a business." Shinji muttered, his eyes fixed on Takashiro's.

"Listen, ya worthless piece 'a shit. Tes ain't gonna have anythin' ta do with ya no more so back the fuck off. He don't need someone like_ you_ in his life ta make him happy."

"This is bullshit! You're the one putting ideas in his head. We were fine before you started butting in and opening that big fucking mouth of yours." Takashiro spat the last word as if it tasted bad and Shinji snorted.

"Get off my property before I let them do what they want with ya."

"I'll leave with Tes…."

Shinji pulled his cellphone out of his pocket and started dialing numbers, Takashiro's eyes glued to the movements of the blond's fingers. Shinji cocked a thin blond eyebrow at the man as he lifted the phone to his ear and waited patiently for the call to connect. Takashiro sneered and straightened his coat.

"Yes, I'd like to report a disturbance." Shinji said and Takashiro snorted.

"This isn't over." The man said as he walked stiffly away, back to his car.

"Shinji? What the hell are you talking about?" Ichigo said and Shinji chuckled.

"Sorry, I had to pretend to call the cops." Shinji said into the receiver. "I'll tell ya all about it tomorrow, okay?"

Ichigo yawned. "Whatever. Do you realize how late it is? You could have woke the kids."

Shinji smiled as he walked back into _Solid Gold_. "Sorry. I'll call ya tomorrow Ichi. Get some sleep."

"Stop calling for stupid things then." Ichigo grumbled before saying goodbye and hanging up.

Shinji felt a little bad as he tucked his phone back inside his pocket. He'd been hoping that Ichigo's night had gone smoothly with the kids but from the sound of it they had given him trouble. Again. It was like this every month when Grimmjow had to leave Ichigo alone with them but Shinji had plans to go over there tomorrow morning to help out a bit. Shaking off those thoughts Shinji stepped into the employee lounge where Yumi was dabbing the blood oozing from a nasty cut on Tesla's lip. Shinji frowned and sat on the short settee next to Tesla, shaking his head and pushing a bit of sandy blond hair behind Tesla's ear.

"I was hopin' he wouldn't get close enough to hitcha." Shinji muttered and Tesla smiled, winced, then frowned.

"It's not your fault, Shin-chan. It doesn't even hurt that bad, so please, don't worry about me."

Pathetic. Shinji loved and cared for Tesla as a good friend, but the man was pathetic.

"Is anything else hurt? Since this happened here I'll have to make a report and you'll have to get that face checked out." 

"But…."

Shinji smirked and kissed Tesla's forehead. "Shut up and let me baby ya fer a bit. It's what friends 're for, ne?"

Tesla blushed and dipped his head and Shinji sent Yumi a look that he hoped conveyed that he was going to be leaving Yumi in charge for the night while he took Tesla home to rest. Apparently Yumi understood because he nodded sharply and rose gracefully before leaving the two blonds alone. Shinji sighed and stood, reaching inside Tesla's locker and pulling out his thick coat for him.

"C'mon. We'll stop at the hospital and I'll fill out the paperwork while they check ya out. Then we'll go home and take a farewell-to-pieces-of-shit shot and watch chick movies."

Tesla smiled again, this time not as wide, before taking his coat from Shinji and slipping it on.

"Thanks, Shin-chan."

Shinji chuckled and pressed his forehead to Tesla's. "Shut up." He whispered affectionately and flicked the lights off as they left the room.

* * *

Nnoitra was in a tricky situation. He couldn't decide if he liked it or hated it either and it irritated him because of it. There he sat on the couch, Shinji curled up next to him, blond head resting on a hard pectoral muscle as Nnoitra had his arm stretched across the back of the couch. The hand at the end of the arm that was pressed close to Nnoitra was playing with the ends of Nnoitra's hair and Shinji looked as if he was very content at that moment. And that made those weird flip flop sensations in Nnoitra's belly that he was still far from used to. So what was it that was making him uneasy? It was the other blond whose head was in Shinji's lap and that Shinji was petting like a small dog that was bothering Nnoitra. This whole situation should have been weird for all of them, but Shinji and Tesla were seemingly fine about it all. Nnoitra looked down at the top of Shinji's head and frowned. Though, the partially empty bottle of labelless, clear liquor might have had something to do with the both of them being so agreeable.

Nnoitra was having moral issues, a relatively rare feeling for the man. He still held some hope of one day fulfilling his long running fantasy of having two blonds worship his body at the same time and having both Shinji and Tesla practically sitting in his lap was… not doing good things to him. Sure, Tesla was a stupid faggot and Nnoitra hated his guts, but he was still attractive and fit well into the fantasy. Now that he thought about it, Shinji might actually be up for that idea and Tesla _was_ single at the moment. It didn't occur to Nnoitra that he was being a self-absorbed, insensitive pig, it normally never would, and he let his mind wander to things that may one day be.

Shinji blinked at the television a few times and realized that whatever it was they had started watching was long over. Tesla, he noted, was sound asleep with his head in Shinji's lap and Nnoitra…. Nnoitra had his head back and a wide grin on his face at whatever it was he was thinking. Shinji scowled and poked him hard between the ribs.

"Ow! The fuck was that for?" Nnoitra asked loudly as his entire body jerked forward at the sudden, very unexpected pain.

"The hell're ya thinkin' about?" Shinji asked, and looked down when Tesla made a noise and began to sit up himself.

"Nothin'. Fuck."

"Don't be a baby, I barely poked ya."

"The fuck ever."

"How long's the movie been over?" Shinji asked as he stretched and turned to check Tesla's face.

"What movie?" Nnoitra asked and Shinji rolled his eyes.

"The one we were just watchin'."

Nnoitra shrugged as he stood to relieve himself and Shinji sighed as he ran his thumb over Tesla's bottom lip. Nnoitra stopped and watched for a moment, silently wishing a tongue would peak out or the thumb would dip inside. He scowled when Shinji stood and said he was getting more ice and Nnoitra finished the walk to the bathroom. Things like that never happened in real life so he was surprised at his disappointment. Shinji was reaching into the freezer when Tesla came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist, resting his head against the back of Shinji's neck.

"I think I should just go to bed, Shin-chan. It looks like Nnoitra-sama wants to be alone with you anyway." Tesla yawned and Shinji turned to him.

"Are ya sure? I can stay up with ya all night if ya want, Tes." Shinji offered and Tesla smiled.

"Thanks, but I think I'll be fine. It may be the alcohol a bit, but… I feel good about this break up. Maybe… maybe things will start looking up for me?"

Shinji chuckled. "That's the spirit." He kissed Tesla's cheek and heard a grunt from behind them that announced they weren't alone.

Shinji turned and raised his eyebrows a bit at Nnoitra before reaching into the refrigerator and pulling out a cold beer for the man. Nnoitra frowned at it a moment, eye flickering between Tesla and Shinji, before taking it and walking back to the couch. Tesla gave Shinji a quick hug before padding off to bed and Shinji returned to his spot next to Nnoitra. Nnoitra was stiff and staring at the TV and Shinji frowned.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Uhm, bullshit?"

Nnoitra sighed. "I… don't like ya bein' so 'ffectionate with him."

Shinji felt his mouth twitch and he tried not to smile. "Oh really? You, the man who's always wanted a threesome with two blonds, is tellin' me to stop bein' affection with another blond."

"Shut up."

"You shut up. He had a hard night, I was just comfortin' him."

Nnoitra snorted and lifted his beer, taking a large pull from it before it occurred to him that he wanted a cigarette. The only problem was it was colder than fuck outside and Shinji didn't want him stinking up the house with the smoke. He sighed and finished off his beer. He couldn't wait to get on that job tomorrow and make some good money so he could get his own place again. He hadn't realized until he lost it how nice it was having something that was only his. Something that he could do whatever he wanted with. Nnoitra set his empty can on the coffee table and huffed out a sigh before finally deciding that the nicotine was far more important than the cold he would have to endure in order to get his fix and started to move to get to his feet when Shinji turned his head and looked up at him, honey colored eyes large and rendering him unable to move. Shinji's eyes seemed to take their time as they looked at Nnoitra, as if memorizing his face.

"Time ya takin' off tamarrow?" Shinji asked in a whisper, leaning close and sitting up so that he was mostly level with Nnoitra's face.

"Noonish."

Shinji frowned a bit and leaned forward, pressing his lips to the corner of Nnoitra's mouth.

"And if I said don't go?"

Nnoitra snorted and tried to kiss Shinji back, missing when the blond easily dodged his seeking mouth.

"Already toldja, I hafta. Won't be more'n a couple days though. Three tops."

Shinji pulled back enough to look at Nnoitra again, his eyes almost sad and his mouth turned down at the edges.

"Please stay."

"Shin…"

"I have…." Shinji stopped and crawled into Nnoitra's lap, straddling his hips and bringing his arms up to twine around Nnoitra's neck. "I gotta bad feelin' 'bout tamarrow." He whispered, as if speaking those words would make it certain.

"Ain't nothin' gonna happen." Nnoitra said and he leaned forward to brush his lips across Shinji's.

"But…."

"Shut it. It ain't that kinda job so I ain't gonna get hurt. Just relax."

"But…" Shinji tried again, fumbling and ultimately losing his words when Nnoitra kissed him lightly.

"Ya trust me, right?" Shinji nodded. "Ya love me, right?"

Nnoitra felt Shinji nod again and grinned, letting his tongue slide across Shinji's bottom lip. Shinji opened his mouth and let the tip of his own tongue flick against the tip of Nnoitra's, making a small noise when Nnoitra sucked Shinji's tongue into his mouth. Nnoitra let go of Shinji's tongue and angled his head so that he could lick a hot, wet line up the side of Shinji's neck. The blond shivered and dug his fingers into Nnoitra's soft hair.

"Wanna lick ya all over b'fore I go." Nnoitra husked and Shinji whined.

"Don't see nothin' stoppin' ya." The blond grinned and pulled his shirt over his head.

Nnoitra hummed as he raised his hands to grope Shinji's newly exposed chest, taking care to tug at the tiny nipple rings before curling down to cup his ass and press their centers together. He loved how easy it was sometimes to change the subject with Shinji. Shinji bit down on Nnoitra's lip and sucked before spreading gentle kisses across the man's cheek. Nnoitra sighed contentedly and ran his hands up Shinji's back, fingers playing at the muscles before grabbing Shinji's shoulders and pulling him closer. Teeth latched onto the top of Shinji's ear and he moaned, shivering at the feel of Nnoitra's warm breath against his delicate skin. Nnoitra let go and cupped Shinji's face, pulling back to look at him a moment before pulling him in for a slow and deep kiss. Shinji kissed him back, tongues caressing each other indolently as their bodies began to move slowly closer. Shinji pulled back to take a deep breath, briefly remembering a time when kisses and touches like that made him so uncomfortable he couldn't bare it. Nnoitra was still capable of surprising him with tenderness, even after all this time.

"I love you." Shinji breathed and kissed Nnoitra again.

Nnoitra groaned as Shinji ground himself into him and he bucked his hips upward. He wanted to get his fill tonight so it would tide him over while he was gone and it looked as if Shinji was more than willing to let him do it too. Shinji was just about to sink his teeth into Nnoitra's pointed chin when his cell phone rang, interrupting their moment.

"The fuck?"

"That's okaachan's ring." Shinji frowned and tried to push out of Nnoitra's lap.

"Ignore it." Nnoitra said huskily and held Shinji's arm.

Shinji frowned at him. "What if it's about Yo-chan?"

Nnoitra huffed out a breath and let go, watching Shinji skip across the room to answer the call. He resisted the urge to sneer but only because he was too busy grumbling about stupid interruptions. Shinji answered his phone with a quiet hello and his mother greeted him cheerfully.

"Shin-chan, how's yer night goin'?"

"Okaachan, what didja need? I'm kinda busy." Shinji cut her off before she could start rambling.

"Well, I'm on my way over ta drop off Yo-chan. Nana, poor thing, has a pretty nasty fever and I don't want Yo-chan gettin' sick. Yer gonna hafta watch her tonight." Etta said and Shinji could hear Yayoi fussing in the background.

"Oh, is she okay?" Shinji asked, barely registering that he was just about to spend his first overnight visit with his daughter.

"Oh she'll be fine. Yo-chan's just a bit young ta get this kinda cold. Anyway, be there in a bit so ya might wanna hurry up and finish whatever it was ya were doin'."

Shinji snorted. "Don't got time for _that_." He commented dryly and Etta giggled. "See ya in a bit."

Shinji hung up the phone and turned to find Nnoitra staring at him with a narrowed eye. He really wasn't going to like what Shinji was about to say.

"So… Nana's got a fever." Shinji started, walking slowly back to the couch and bending to retrieve his shirt. Nnoitra's eye, if possible, narrowed further.

"So?"

"Well, Yo-chan can't be around there right now so…."

"No way." Nnoitra cut him off. "Can't she go somewhere else?"

"Where the hell else do ya expect her ta go, Nnoi? She ain't got any other family. 'sides, I'm… kinda excited to have her for a whole night." Shinji smiled and Nnoitra snorted.

"Fine. I'll leave."

"Nnoi! Ya don't haft _leave_ just cos Yo-chan's gonna be here." Shinji yanked his shirt over his head.

"Well I can't do what I wanna if she's here so…."

"Oh, shut up. Quit bein' such a fuckin' baby about this."

Nnoitra stood and crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't like kids. I don't like babies. I ain't gonna spend the whole fuckin' night with one."

Shinji's mouth formed a line and honey eyes narrowed. "The hell ya gonna do if somethin' happens and she's gotta live with me? Or when she gets older and spends more time over here?"

"I'll just…."

"You'll what? Stay away every time she's here?" Shinji shook his head and felt his chest tighten over his heart. He knew this was going to cause trouble for them.

Nnoitra didn't say anything and Shinji stomped to the kitchen to make himself some tea. He wasn't sure if okaachan had plans to stay long enough for a cup herself but he wanted some at the moment. Nnoitra's attitude didn't surprise him in the least, but it still hurt that he was being this way. It didn't make their future very pretty. Nnoitra watched Shinji walk away and sneered at his back. He wanted to leave before the kid got there but he didn't want to leave with Shinji pissed at him. And he didn't think they had time to fight or fuck it out either. He dropped his arms and walked to the kitchen, standing behind Shinji and waiting for the blond to take notice.

"So leave already. They're gonna be here soon." Shinji said in a snooty tone and Nnoitra rolled his eye.

"Y'ain't gonna kiss me 're nothin'?"

Shinji shook his head and still refused to look behind him.

"Quit bein' a bitch."

"Quit bein' an asshole."

"Che, whatever." Nnoitra said, turning to walk out of the kitchen and retrieve his things. Shinji didn't want him there, fine. He'd just leave. Wasn't exactly like he wanted to stay any longer than necessary to say goodbye anyway.

He had his coat half on when he heard the sniffle from the kitchen and he grit his teeth. Shinji was not going to get to him this time. Nnoitra shook his head and pushed his arm through the other sleeve when he heard a tearing sound followed by a blown nose. Nnoitra's eye closed and his head tipped back as he for some odd reason fought the urge to curse. Another sniff and he was stomping back to the kitchen, grabbing Shinji by his shoulders and spinning him around. He took a moment to see the poorly dried cheeks and the wide eyes ringed in spiky, wet lashes and growled, leaning forward to press his lips against Shinji's. He pressed the kiss deeper, forcing his tongue inside and moaning when it really didn't take that much effort. He bent Shinji back and pushed him into the edge of the counter, all the while tasting every inch of the blond's mouth. He pulled back and looked down again, pleased with what he saw this time. Shinji's cheeks were flushed, his eyes still wide but very much devoid of tears, and his pink lips were wet and swollen from his kiss.

He didn't say anything, instead pressed his lips to Shinji's once more in a sweet and tender kiss before standing to his full height and leaving the apartment entirely. Shinji swallowed as the door shut behind Nnoitra and placed a hand over his heart in an attempt to steady it. Shinji was pretty sure that neither one of them played fair at fights anymore.

Nnoitra stopped outside the door and pulled a cigarette from his pocket, lighting it up before searching for his phone. He'd need a ride if he was going back to Starrk's at this time of night and it was way too fucking cold to walk. He was in the middle of checking an inside pocket on his coat when he heard footsteps and looked up to see Etta walking his way with the baby in tow. Nnoitra sneered and sucked hard on his cigarette. Etta regarded him as she walked by but only smiled before rushing inside. Nnoitra almost sighed in relief and finally fished his cellphone out, dialing Starrk's number and waiting for it to connect.

Inside the house Shinji set up Yayoi's bassinette and tucked her in it as his mother put a few bottles of breast milk in the refrigerator. She took one look at Shinji's face and knew that something was wrong but for once kept her mouth shut about it. She kissed her son good night and pulled her coat tighter as she stepped back outside to see Nnoitra still standing where he had been before, this time with an even deeper scowl than he'd been wearing beforehand. Etta smirked.

"Starrk ain't gonna answer." She said quietly and Nnoitra's gaze shifted to her.

"The fuck do you know?"

"Because, he left his phone at my house." Etta said, looking up at Nnoitra with a smirk.

Nnoitra snorted. "So yer the woman." He wanted to laugh at that one but shivered instead. "Gimmie a ride." He demanded and Etta laughed.

"Go back inside with the man ya love and tell 'im yer sorry fer whatever ya did."

"I don't need ya meddlin', woman."

Etta hummed and rocked back on her heels before smiling up at him again. "Nope, ya don't. But why dontcha listen anyway. Might do ya some good."

Etta cocked her head to the side and wrinkled her nose before walking away from Nnoitra. It was up to him what he decided to do but she hoped that she had helped get him back inside that apartment with her son where he belonged. Nnoitra tried Starrk one more time before he gave up and flicked his cigarette into the parking lot. With a sigh of resignation he turned back and opened the door to Shinji's apartment, stepping back inside and pulling his coat off as he ignored the look Shinji was giving him. He hung up his coat, slipped back out of his shoes and walked to the couch, sitting and grabbing the remote to find something _he_ wanted to watch. Shinji blinked down at him and frowned.

"Thoughtcha were leavin'." He said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Changed my mind." Nnoitra said in a monotone and continued to flip through channels.

Shinji pursed his lips and opened his mouth when Nnoitra cut him off.

"Ya gonna fuckin' complain or ya gonna get over here and sit with me?"

Shinji frowned for a moment before sitting stiffly next to Nnoitra. Nnoitra wrapped a long arm around Shinji's shoulders and brought him close, kissing the top of his head before he settled on some freaky looking anime. Shinji was still a little stiff, and he looked up at Nnoitra, still frowning.

"Nnoi…?"

"Shut up." Nnoitra said, turning his head to look at Shinji directly. "I'm here ain't I?"

Shinji shook his head and couldn't stop the small smile that titled his lips. He wasn't going to ask why Nnoitra was there with him. Instead he curled closer to Nnoitra and nuzzled his chest.

"Love you." He whispered and Nnoitra grunted.

Yayoi was already back to sleep and Shinji let his eyes fall closed as he listened to Nnoitra's heartbeat. Just before he was about to drift off Nnoitra shifted and kissed him again before whispering, "Love you too." Shinji fell asleep in the arms of the man he loved with a smile on his face.

* * *

Nnoitra left around nine the following morning, kissing Shinji until he was breathless and promising that he'd call before he left town. Shinji had insisted and he wasn't in the mood to argue with him on the stupidity of that. Tesla made breakfast and Shinji and he ate before Shinji cleared the table and set about warming Yayoi's bottle. He hadn't heard from his mother yet but he figured he'd call her once Yayoi was done eating to make sure everything was alright with Nana's fever. Shinji finished feeding Yayoi and called his mother: Nana was doing better but Shinji might have to watch Yayoi for one more night just to be safe. To Shinji that was of course not a problem. Shinji called Ichigo to see what time he wanted him over and was greeted by Yuzu. Ichigo had gotten called in to work because the emergency room was short and he hadn't had much of a choice in the matter. Shinji made arrangements to meet up with Yuzu and the triplets later that day and finally thought he could relax. Tesla was in the kitchen, putting together a marinade for dinner that night, Shinji had just finished changing and redressing Yayoi and was about to ask Tesla to watch her while he hopped in the shower real quick, when there was a knock on the door.

"I'll get it." Shinji called out and Tesla nodded, returning to what he had been doing before.

Shinji flipped the top lock and threw back the deadbolt before turning the knob and pulling the door open. Shinji's heart stopped dead in his chest and his skin when hot and cold. His eyes widened and his breath caught and he wondered for a moment what he should do. What exactly was one supposed to do when literally staring down the barrel of a gun?

* * *

A/N Sooooo sorry this took so long to get out. But I'm glad I finally got to it and I'm pleased with how it turned out. As for the cliffhanger...

*ahem*

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAH~~!

*ahem*

:D Enjoy~

~Penny


	29. Conflict

Conflict

"Back up or I blow your head off here." A low voice cut through Shinji's panic and he took a stiff step backwards.

Slowly his hands rose in front of him, palms out towards the gunman, and his mouth opened. He wanted to tell the man that whatever he wanted it could be done, just put the gun away, but nothing would come out. Old fears uncoiled in his belly and he felt as if he were going to be sick; wanted to be sick if only to get rid of that feeling. Flashes of his father being gunned down sprang up before his eyes; wide eyes, open mouth, blood gathering and soaking the off-white shirt he had been wearing. Suddenly instead of not being able to breathe, he couldn't seem to stop. His inhales were becoming painful, his chest burning, his throat going dry, the sound harsh and loud to his ears.

"Shin-…." Tesla started, walking out of the kitchen only to stumble upon a hyperventilating Shinji and a wild looking Takashiro.

Wide and red rimmed dark eyes turned to Tesla, the gun staying trained on Shinji's forehead, and the short, round man kicked the door closed behind him with a jerk of his leg. Tesla's mouth drooped open and a whispered cry of surprise escaped before he managed to stop himself. Takashiro's hair was unkempt, his clothing the same from the night before and disheveled enough to make it look like he had slept in them. If he had slept, that is.

"T-takashiro-sama…." Tesla breathed, eyes darting from between the gun, Takashiro's wild look and Shinji's increasingly panicked form.

"Pack a bag, Tesla. We're leaving." Takashiro said, his voice surprisingly lucid and almost gentle in tone. It was a far cry from his outward appearance.

Shinji blinked unconsciously and saw a man raise a gun to shoot Ichigo in the head. He heard Grimmjow scream out for it to stop; saw Ichigo's face go slack as his life flashed before his eyes. Shinji's body began to tremble, his vision began to blur and he felt himself sway a bit but couldn't control himself. He'd thought he had gotten over this fear, at least to some degree, but it was blindingly clear that he was far from passed it.

"What the hell are you doing just standing there?" Takashiro asked Tesla in a low voice and Tesla shook his head.

"Move!" Takashiro shouted and both Shinji and Tesla flinched.

Tesla turned slowly, keeping his eyes darting between Shinji and Takashiro, and inched his way towards the hallway. All three men froze when the sound of a baby fussing interrupted them and Takashiro turned his wild eyes to Yayoi's tiny form. A sneer pulled at the man's lips, making his thick beard twitch and he slowly moved the gun away from Shinji's face. Shinji's watched the barrel move, heard Yayoi cry out, louder this time, and felt his shoulders jerk. For the first time since he had opened the door he was able to move and he jumped back in front of the gun that was well on it's way to being pointed at his daughter.

"Get the fuck out of my house." Shinji breathed, arms now wide as he did the only thing he could think of at the moment and hid his daughter from view.

"I'm not leaving without Tesla." Takashiro said and he bared his teeth at Shinji.

"You aren't leavin' with anyone." Shinji's mind worked overtime now, his thoughts only on protecting his daughter and making sure no one got hurt.

"Yer…"

"Shinji, it's okay. I'll get a bag and go with him." Tesla said, worried look on his face and tears gathering in his eyes.

Shinji's head shook briefly but he couldn't manage to make himself look away from the gun yet. There were too many things going on inside his head; panic, fear, anger, confusion. He wasn't thinking straight, couldn't think straight. Tesla moved quickly down the hall, running footsteps sounding off and a door slamming open as Tesla burst into his room to ready himself as quickly as possible. Takashiro returned his attention to Shinji and cocked the gun to the side as he regarded the blond.

"I should shoot you anyway for getting in my way." He said, voice dripping with venom before his eyes flickered down and caught sight of a few baby items on the floor.

"Or maybe I'll start with that thing."

Shinji's blood went cold and his skin broke out in goose bumps. Bile rose in his throat at the thought of his baby girl getting hurt and finally Shinji's eyes filled with fire.

"You touch her and I will make you wish you never learned how to breathe air." He spat vehemently.

"A faggot like you couldn't touch me." Takashiro taunted and cocked the gun in his hand.

A loud thud was heard from Tesla's room and Takashiro's head whipped away from Shinji and Shinji took the chance while he could. He didn't think before he responded, lunging forward and grabbing Takashiro's gun arm and yanking it upwards and away from any living body. Takashiro struggled with Shinji, trying in vain to pull his arm free and stepping backwards to try and get some leverage. Shinji reached up and grabbed the gun, twisting it and trying his best to pull it free of Takashiro's hands. He wasn't going to let anyone get hurt today. He wasn't going to see pain or blood today. He wasn't going to hear the sound of a gunshot in his dreams for weeks after this.

"Let the fuck go of me!" Takashiro screamed and Shinji shook his head.

Tesla came running out of his bedroom with a small bag and saw the fight, yelling out for the both of them to stop; that he would go willingly and no one had to get hurt. Tesla ran to Takashiro and grabbed his rumpled suit jacket, tugging on it and pleading with the man to just leave with him. He'd go… he'd go anywhere just stop. Stop this. Takashiro kicked out and managed to catch Shinji in the hip, forcing the blond back and his hands to slip a little. Takashiro kicked again, this time managing to get Shinji to stumble and let go of his arm. Shinji fell back a couple steps and looked up just in time to feel the impact of a bullet in his left shoulder. He didn't hear the shot and at first he couldn't hear anything after it had struck. Couldn't _feel_ anything. Shinji looked down and saw the blood now seeping out of the hole the bullet had made in his body and finally, _finally_, the pain hit him like a tidal wave. He reached up and grabbed his shoulder, looking back up to see Takashiro still holding the gun on him. He could see Tesla moving, screaming at Takashiro that he needed to stop, tugging at the man's jacket and crying that they should just go now, before someone got hurt again. Shinji watched as Takashiro slowly shook his head and pulled the trigger again, this one going wide and missing Shinji completely.

Shinji's breath caught and adrenaline pumped through his veins as he took one step forward to try again to get the gun away from the lunatic holding it. Takashiro fired again, this time catching Shinji in the side but only barely. Shinji stumbled forward and heard Yayoi scream for the first time. He turned to look over his shoulder, stomach in his throat, but saw that she seemed to be fine. Tesla's screaming became louder, his tugging fiercer and Shinji turned back as if in slow motion.

"Stop! Stop it, you'll kill him!" Tesla screamed and Takashiro sneered at Shinji as he pulled the trigger again.

Shinji felt as if he had been kicked in the chest, the force of the bullet knocking him backwards and dropping him to the ground. He didn't hear the next shot. Didn't feel it skim his forehead as he fell with a sickening thud to the carpeted floor. All Shinji knew was pain in that moment. Pain that throbbed with each beat of his heart and blossomed out over his body as if tryin got make a cocoon with it. Shinji coughed and rolled, a sound he didn't realize was coming from him loud in his ears as he scream/groaned his agony.

"SHINJI!"

Takashiro grabbed Tesla's wrist and dragged him out of the house, leaving the door wide open behind him as he raced to his car to flee the scene. Shinji heard Yayoi screaming and tried to roll over, whitehot pain making everything difficult and the last shot making it very hard to breathe. He coughed and didn't register the blood that came up with it. He needed to get to his baby girl. Papa was still here. He needed her to know that. He felt something move next to him and looked down, realizing it was his cellphone vibrating in his pocket. He should call someone, he thought briefly, movements becoming sluggish as he pulled the small phone from his pocket and fumbled with it to answer. The blood from his wounds made his hands slippery and he nearly dropped it twice before he finally managed to answer it. Shinji coughed and again more blood came up with it. He couldn't catch his breath enough to speak but over Yayoi's cries he heard a familiar voice.

"Yo, Blondie?"

Shinji choked out a sob and leaned his forehead on the phone, moving his mouth and trying yet again to speak. All that came out was a wheezing squeak and Shinji suddenly found that he couldn't move anymore. He was cold, his body was starting to shake violently and he worked his mouth to find words he knew he wasn't capable of using.

"Shinji?" Nnoitra's voice came through Shinji's pain clearly and another sob shook the blond.

"The fuck's wrong?" Nnoitra shouted again, anger in his voice. The only thing he could hear was the baby crying and what sounded like Shinji crying as well.

Shinji took a short breath and tried one last time to speak, managing a breathy, wheezy word that he hoped sounded like what he wanted it to. Shinji's body went limp and his world went dark and soundless as the cold and clammy hands of death reached out for him. Yayoi continued to scream and Nnoitra, listening intently on the other end of the line, felt his world crumble away as that tiny, wet sounding plea met his ears.

"_Help_."

* * *

Nnoitra came crashing back into Starrk's apartment, he had just been about to leave for his job when he had called Shinji to say goodbye, and looked at the man with a wild violet eye.

"I need a ride." He said in a clipped tone and Starrk stood, not having to be _asked_ twice when Nnoitra's face looked like that ; panic and fear and anger mixing into something Starrk had never seen Nnoitra show before.

Starrk grabbed his keys and the two of them rushed to his car, throwing themselves inside. Starrk shoved the keys car's in the ignition and took a second to look at Nnoitra again.

"Where to?"

"Shinji's." Nnoitra grit out, phone still pressed to his ear and the only sound Yayoi's screaming.

"Use yer phone to call an ambulance there." Nnoitra said next, his voice far quieter than before. He hoped he was wrong. He hoped to whatever god may be out there that he was fucking wrong about it all. He had to be.

Starrk pulled out his phone as he backed the car out of his parking spot and turned onto the road. He made the call as short as he could and drove as fast as he could without getting caught.

"What is it?" Starrk asked, hoping that by getting Nnoitra to talk he would help the other man relax.

Nnoitra's body was stiff as a board and Starrk could now hear the cries of a baby leaking from Nnoitra's phone. Starrk cleared his throat and returned his attention back to the road. Whatever was wrong, he hoped the ambulance would get there before he and Nnoitra did. Usually Nnoitra didn't want anything to do with things like hospitals or police, and rightly so with his experience with them, so it had surprised Starrk more than a little when he was ordered to make the call.

It was a tense and silent drive, the whole time Nnoitra listening to Yayoi's cries as his face grew darker and darker. A few blocks away from Shinji's apartment Nnoitra heard a new noise, men talking, someone shouting to get a stretcher. Nnoitra's stomach dropped and he must have made a noise because Starrk's gaze snapped to him briefly before returning to the road.

"His pulse is weak, pack those wounds quickly and get me an oxygen mask!" a man shouted and Nnoitra's heart stopped beating for a long moment.

"On it!"

"Shit, I can't feel a pulse anymore. Get the defibrillator."

A fumbling bit of noise and the sound of ripping fabric greeted Nnoitra's ears before someone called out, "Clear!" The apartment complex came into view and Nnoitra almost leapt out of the car before it had stopped. There were two ambulances present and a police cruiser had just pulled into the parking lot, lights and siren blazing. Starrk pulled to the side of the road and didn't bother trying to stop Nnoitra as the man flew out of the car and across the street. Starrk pulled out his cell phone again, glad that he had retrieved it earlier that morning from Etta's house where he had left it, and called the woman to tell her that she was needed at her son's house. He didn't want to have to be the one to make the call, he didn't have all the information, but he knew enough about the woman to know that if it involved her son she would want to know.

Nnoitra flew up the stars and down the short hall to Shinji's apartment, flying inside the room and stopping dead at the sight. Two paramedics were leaning over Shinji's prone body, blood was coloring the carpet thickly under Shinji's pale, fragile looking form and both paramedics leaned back as one of them called, "Clear!", again. Shinji's body jerked, the machine beeped once before finding an irregular rhythm, but a rhythm nonetheless.

"Get him up so we can get him out." One man said and another paramedic came into Nnoitra's view to help lift Shinji onto the stretcher.

One of them noticed Nnoitra standing there and called out to him.

"Hey, you can't be here."

"I know him." Nnoitra managed, eye fixed on Shinji's face. It was covered in blood, lips parted and slack, eyes closed. Blood matted long blond hair to one of Shinji's body and for the first time in his life Nnoitra felt like he was going to be sick at the sight of it.

"You still can't be in here, sir. You need to leave."

They strapped Shinji's body to the gurney after covering it with a thick blanket and began to roll him towards the door. Nnoitra stepped to the side and watched as one of the men placed a plastic mask over Shinji's face and began to pump a small balloon on the side of the mask. An officer approached Nnoitra and asked him what he was doing there and Nnoitra answered in a dull voice.

"I know him. He… he asked for help."

"Do you have any idea what happened here this morning?" the officer asked and Nnoitra shook his head once.

The officer looked at Yayoi and back at Nnoitra before he asked his next question. "Does the baby belong to… Mr. Hirako?"

Nnoitra turned and looked at Yayoi a moment, nodding slowly before looking back out of the apartment over the officer's shoulder at the ambulance as it began to drive away. He took a step forward and was stopped by a hand on his arm. Before he could react to it Starrk was in his vision, shaking his head slowly and Nnoitra forced himself to relax a little.

"That's his daughter." Starrk said, bringing the officer's attention to him instead of Nnoitra.

The two began to talk as one asked and the other answered and Nnoitra began to grow impatient. He wanted to go to the hospital with Shinji. He needed to be there with him. This was taking too fucking long damn it!

"I'm out." Nnoitra said, pushing passed Starrk and the officer and heading down the stairs again. He'd walk to the damn hospital if he had to. Fuck, he'd run the whole way if it meant getting there faster.

""Nnoi-san!" Starrk called after him and managed to halt him halfway down the stairs. "What about the kid?"

"Then gimmie yer keys."

Starrk shook his head. "Can't let you drive like this man. Just wait until Etta gets here." Starrk said calmly and Nnoitra sneered at him.

"Fuck that, Starrk! _Fuck that_!"

A vehicle came to a screeching halt and Etta jumped out of the truck, followed by a still very sick looking Nana. Etta ran up the stairs and pushed passed Starrk and Nnoitra on her way to Shinji's apartment. They heard a scream and Starrk frowned, looking at the cement stairs he was standing on. He lifted a hand and placed it on Nnoitra's shoulder before heading back up the stairs to make sure Etta was going to be okay. Nnoitra swallowed and looked at the bottom of the stairs, his eye meeting a small, black haired woman he had never seen before. Her black eyes were wide as she looked up at him and she took a deep breath as her eyes flickered upwards.

"What happened?" she asked quietly but Nnoitra refused to answer her.

Inside the apartment Etta tried her best to put a diaper bag together as quickly as possible with her hands shaking as hard as they were. She didn't want to think about the blood on the floor. Didn't want to think about the spatter that was on Yayoi's onesie. Her goal was to get her grandbaby and get to the hospital where her son was, in the officers' words, in critical condition. Starrk grabbed the car seat and bag from Etta and frowned down at her.

"Are you okay to drive?" he asked and she nodded stiffly.

"I drove to the hospital when my husband was shot, I can drive now." Her voice was far stronger than Starrk had anticipated and he nodded before heading out the front door. Etta took one look around the room and covered her face as a silent sob shook her body. She took one deep breath and tried to compose herself before she followed after him.

* * *

"Code Blue to the emergency room. Code Blue to the emergency room. Code Blue to the emergency room."

Ichigo's ears perked up and he took off towards the emergency room. He was the only one available that was qualified to attend an emergency at the moment because all the other doctors were busy with other trauma cases that had come in an hour before. A hit and run accident had left one dead and two fighting for their lives. Ichigo burst through the emergency doors and watched as a gurney entered triage.

"What happened?" he asked as he approached, not looking at the body yet.

"Multiple gunshot wounds. Went into cardiac arrest when we showed up but we managed to restart his heart with the defibrillator. Severe loss of blood."

Ichigo looked at the nurse that had approached and was about to order blood when he finally saw the face that belonged to the man on the gurney. His own face went pale a moment and the nurse frowned at him.

"Doctor."

Ichigo shook himself and cleared his throat. "B negative. Get me B negative."

"But doctor, we don't know this man's blood type."

Ichigo ordered the gurney to be taken immediately to surgery before looking at the nurse again.

"I know him. He's B negative." Was all he said before taking off at a run after the man; his best friend.

He knew he shouldn't be the one doing this. That working on someone that he was so close to was usually against the doctor's code, but he had no choice in the matter. He was the only one there at the moment that could find those bullets, pull them out and stop all that bleeding. He was the only one at the moment who could possibly save Shinji's life. Fuck his job, fuck all the hard work he had put into coming this far, he wasn't going to wait around for someone else to do something he was already capable of doing. Ichigo burst into the sterile washroom off the side of the surgery room they were using and ripped off his white coat, hanging it quickly before, pulling a cap over his head and turning on the tap as he reached for the soap. He was halfway through washing when the door opened and another doctor walked in. Brown eyes met black and the both of them paused for a brief second before the other man began to scrub up as well.

"Ishida."

"Kurosaki."

"Why are you here?"

"Idiot. You need another hand in there. I just happened to not be doing anything."

Ichigo nodded and shook his hands dry, turning and stepping into a waiting gown a nurse was holding open for him. It was tied behind him and a pair of gloves were pushed over his hands before mask was pulled into place over his face. Ichigo stepped into the room, took a deep breath as he looked at Shinji and saw for the first time how much blood was caked to his clothes, and steeled himself for what he was about to do.

* * *

Nnoitra, Etta, Starrk, Nana and Yayoi were crammed in the busy emergency waiting room, all waiting for _someone_ to tell them what the hell was going on. They'd been there for an hour and not one word had been said about Shinji other than, "He's currently in surgery." Etta hugged her belly and rocked gently as she waited, old memories coming to the surface as she tried her best not to lose it. She couldn't lose both her husband and her son this way. She didn't think she'd be able to take that. Starrk was seated on her left, one arm around her shoulders and the other laying limply in his lap. Nana rocked Yayoi as she fed her. She had changed her out of her onesie that had blood on it because it had made her sick to see it there. Nnoitra stood against the wall, irritably glaring at the doors that led back into the emergency area. He wanted to go back there. Wanted to see what the fuck was going on. He wanted to go hunt down whoever had done this to Shinji. Wanted to kill them slowly and painfully, bring them back and do it again, all with his bare hands and maybe some with his teeth. He hadn't been filled with this kind of impotent rage in a long time and the feeling didn't settle well with him.

All four of them jumped when Nnoitra's phone rang and he quickly pulled it from his pocket, not bothering to check the number before answering.

"What?" he snapped and he heard a broken sob on the other end.

"N-nnoitra-s-sama." Nnoitra's eye narrowed and he stood up straighter.

"What do you want?"

"Is… is Shinji… is he okay?"

"What the fuck happened." Nnoitra growled and Starrk slipped his arm free of Etta's shoulders to approach the man.

"I'm so sorry!" Tesla wailed. "I tried to stop him but he wasn't listening to me and then… then he just kept shooting…." A loud sob was heard and Tesla words began to become unintelligible.

"You were there?" Nnoitra shouted and several heads turned in his direction. Starrk put a hand on his arm and pulled him outside.

"I'm sorry." Tesla sobbed. "I'm so sorry."

"What the fuck happened?"

"T-takashiro-sama… he…."

Nnoitra growled at the name and placed a bearded man's face to it in his head.

"Where is he?" Nnoitra asked, his tone deadly quiet.

"We're… we're at a hotel. Sakura in Ikebukuro."

Nnoitra hung up the phone and looked at Starrk before demanding the man's car keys. Starrk shook his head.

"I can't do that, Nnoi-san."

Nnoitra grabbed Starrk by the front of his shirt and slammed him back into the wall of the hospital.

"Give me the goddamned _keys_!" he shouted.

Starrk looked Nnoitra in the eye and calmly replied to the threat. "You can't leave until you know he's okay."

"Fuck you." Nnoitra spat. "_Fuck you_."

"You know I'm right." Starrk added and Nnoitra slammed him hard into the wall again.

"FUCK YOU!" Nnoitra bellowed, slamming Starrk one last time before he let go and stomped off.

Starrk cleared his throat and fixed his shirt before he followed after Nnoitra. Nnoitra pulled his cigarettes from his pocket and dropped them, kicking at them and missing before he bent down to pick them up again. He pulled one out so forcefully that he broke it and he tossed it aside before grabbing another and shoving it in his mouth as he searching for his lighter. Someone cleared their throat and Nnoitra looked up to see Starrk holding a lighter out for him. Nnoitra sneered and yanked it out of Starrk's hand, lighting up and taking a deep pull before blowing the smoke out through his nose. He couldn't get his thoughts straight; could only see Shinji covered in blood and lifeless looking. Could only feel impotent rage as he stood there, doing nothing to the fucker that had done this to the man he loved. That man… the only person in the world that really _truly_ meant life to him. He ground his teeth and took another pull from the cigarette only to realize it had burned down to the filter. He flicked it away as hard as he could and stared after it.

"We should head back in. See if we can find anything out again." Starrk said in a level tone and Nnoitra sneered at him.

Starrk didn't wait for an answer and began to walk back and after a moment Nnoitra followed. The moment he found out Shinji was okay he was gone though, and the both of them knew it. Starrk wouldn't hand over his keys until then though. Nnoitra spit the bad taste out of his mouth onto the sidewalk before entering the hospital once again.

* * *

Ichigo pulled the bloody gown and gloves off and tossed them in the biohazard trash before pulling off his mask and cap and doing the same. Three hours of surgery but they had managed to close every wound and retrieve both bullets that had been lodged in Shinji's body. Heart monitors beeped steadily, Shinji was being cleaned up to be moved to ICU, and more blood was being sent up from the lab to help replace the astonishing amount Shinji had lost. Ichigo sighed deeply and ran a hand back through his hair as he closed his eyes. He wanted to cry. He wanted to curl up in a little ball next to his friend and hold him until he woke up, but he couldn't do that. He was a doctor and now he had to go out there in the waiting room where he knew people were waiting to hear Shinji status. Someone pulled up beside him but he didn't bother looking right away.

"You did surprisingly well, Kurosaki." Ishida said in a clipped tone. "I'll be sure to let my father know of your performance today."

With that the black haired man was gone and Ichigo was alone again. He grabbed his white coat off the rack and slipped it on before reflexively tossing his stethoscope around his neck. He took one look at himself in the mirror above the large sink and took one more deep, steadying breath before he left to go tell everyone who was waiting, just how Shinji was doing.

* * *

A/N I warned you, didn't I? This chapter is probably the first one to get to me quite so bad. My hands were shaking as I wrote the first part of it, tears streaking down my cheeks and every few second punctuated by a hearty sniffle. I miss being able to get so in tune with a piece of work that I become a part of the emotion I'm trying to create. I just hope that you all felt at least a little of what I did. not because I want you to feel bad, but because it means you love the story as much as I do. This wore me out in the most fantastic way and I think some of my fellow writers out there know the feeling I'm experiencing right now. I know it's left a little high here but the next chapter offers more drama and I need to at least get the thoughts out of my head for it while they are extraordinarily fresh. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, even if it was gut-wrenchingly hard to do so. Thank you for reading and i look forward to hearing what you all think.

~Penny

*Oh, fun fact for those of you that may not know this, but they actually do require the "coded" calls to be announced three times. At least that's how it is in America. I should know, I used to work at a hospital and had to make several of those announcements while I was there :D**


	30. Retaliation

Retaliation

As more people trickled into the waiting room of the emergency room in hopes of hearing good news about Shinji's condition, the nurses led them to the one situated on the ICU floor. It was smaller, but far more private. Yumi, Ikkaku and Hanataro were there, Ikkaku sitting next to Yumi and holding the man's hand tightly as they waited and Hanataro twisting a piece of tissue with both hands. Karin and Yuzu were with the triplets at Ichigo's house, trying to get ahold of Grimmjow. Isshin was working on another floor but he came down as often as he could to make sure that everyone was doing okay. There was a brief moment of awkwardness when Isshin saw Starrk with his arm around Etta but the moment Etta saw him she jumped up and flew into his arms, hugging him tightly to her and whispering fiercely.

"Isshin. Isshin I can't do this again."

Isshin sighed brokenly and hugged her tightly back, rubbing her shoulders and kissing the top of her head. Both of them knew what it was to lose their spouse and Isshin hoped it stayed at only that. Everyone found out belatedly that Ichigo was one of the surgical team that was working on saving Shinji's life and for a moment Etta looked as if she were going to pass out. She recovered, her spirits seemed to have been lifted by that, and the room continued to wait for news. Nnoitra stood, staring out the waiting room window at the ground three floors below them and seriously contemplated stealing a car. He felt helpless and he hated it. So much of him knew that Starrk was right, that he needed to at the very least stay to see that Shinji made it through the surgery alright, but it didn't make the waiting any less excruciating. Nnoitra couldn't help but feel that he was wasting valuable time here when he could be out hunting that son of a bitch down. The things he was going to do when he found him….

The room went deadly silent and Nnoitra looked up as Ichigo entered the room. Nnoitra's heart pounded in his chest as if trying to break free as he waited for the words he needed to hear.

"Well?" he asked tersely and Ichigo nodded.

"He's in stable condition at the moment, on his way to ICU."

"Oh God." Etta breathed and seemed to sink into her chair as relief filled her even as more fear joined it. "W-what happened? How bad was it."

Ichigo took a deep breath before starting, a small bit of what only some recognized as pain flitting across his face before he was able to mask it. "He was shot four times by a low caliber bullet. Two of the shots skimmed him and didn't do very much damage. One bullet entered Shinji's right shoulder and embedded in his scapula, the other struck him in the sternum and bounced off the bone, angling downwards and tearing a whole in Shinji's left lung. We were able to get both bullets out and close the wounds but Shinji… Shinji lost a lot of blood. He's not in the clear yet but we'll do everything we can to… to…."

"Thank you, Ichigo." Etta said and rose to hug him tightly.

Ichigo's eyes closed and he took a moment to hug her back before clearing his throat.

"I have paperwork to fill out and then I'll see about letting you see him, okay?" He said to Etta and the woman nodded with a worried frown.

Nnoitra looked as if he had been kicked in the gut as Ichigo listed off what had happened to Shinji and by the time he was finished the only thing Nnoitra could see was red. He yanked his hand out of his pocket and held it out in front of Starrk who reached in his own pocket and pulled out his keys, dropping them into Nnoitra's hand with a tired look on his already apathetic face. Everyone watched as the man left silently and Ichigo looked at Starrk in question. Starrk shook his head once before standing and offering to get Etta a coffee. Ichigo left the small room to return to his shared office to fill out his report. He hadn't told them everything. He didn't think it was right to tell everyone present all that had happened to Shinji. And he couldn't bring himself to tell Etta just yet that her son… that Shinji had flat lined on the table twice and that the last time they hadn't been sure they were going to be able to bring him back. He would have to, he knew, but he would tell Etta when she was alone. He couldn't do that to her in front of everyone. He threw himself into his chair and grabbed his pen before pushing everything else out of his head and finishing his paperwork.

* * *

Nnoitra slammed the car into third gear and briefly cursed the fact that Starrk drove a stick. He hated stick shifts; took too much effort and coordination and Nnoitra didn't have time for that. His entire being was focused on getting to that hotel that Tesla had called him from, and hoping that the two were still there. And then he was going to kill that motherfucker. He didn't care how he was going to do it but he knew that the only way he'd be satisfied right now, the only way to feed the beast growing inside him, was to paint his hands with the man's freshly spilled blood. He wanted to feel it and smell fear and hear bones crack. Nnoitra's grip tightened on the steering wheel as he drove to Ikebukuro, taking the fastest route he knew possible. He didn't let himself think about Shinji right then. He couldn't because if he started to he wouldn't stop and he didn't like the way all of that made him feel. He didn't like his chest hurting and constantly feeling on the verge of vomiting. He didn't like feeling his heart flutter and sink to his stomach, didn't like his body going weak and cold at the thoughts of Shinji covered in blood and pale. So fucking pale.

Nnoitra sneered and took a corner too sharply, skidding a bit before managing to get control of the vehicle. He took a deep breath and continued on. He was pretty sure he knew about where that hotel was and he planned to get as close as he could. Once the buildings around him started to become familiar Nnoitra parked and headed out of foot, stopping an old man pushing a basket to make sure he was where he needed to be. Nnoitra walked for what felt like hours before he finally saw the large white building with red and green awnings. Nnoitra grinned, felt his heart jump back up into place and his blood rush through his veins. Jerking his coat collar up so that it covered his neck, Nnoitra crossed the street and entered the building.

* * *

Ichigo was almost finished filling out his paperwork when the phone on his desk started ringing. He dropped the pen and stretched backwards, rubbing his eyes with his thumb and forefinger before reached for the thing.

"Kurosaki speaking."

"I've got like four hundred messages from the house and when I call all I hear is your sister crying and I can't understand a fucking word she's saying. What the _fuck_ is going on?"

Ichigo's eyes closed as Grimmjow's voice washed over him like a salve and he pursed his lips before answering.

"Shinji got shot. I was there for his surgery."

There was silence before Grimmjow let out a breath in a rush. "Is he…?"

"Stable. Hoping it stays that way."

"You want me to come home?"

Ichigo took his time answering but not because he needed to think about his answer. The pain and anguish at what he had been through that morning threatened to creep up on him and he almost lost it. He squeezed his eyes tighter and pressed his lips together before whispering, "Yeah. I'd appreciate that."

"'kay. I'll be home as soon as I can." Grimmjow said without hesitation and Ichigo sighed.

"I love you Ichigo."

"Love you too." Ichigo answered, his voice breaking a little on the last word.

"Keep it together until I get there, okay?"

Ichigo snorted humorlessly and nodded, taking another deep breath to fight back the tears.

"Just hurry up and come home."

* * *

Nnoitra stood in front of the door and listened, hearing the soft sounds of a television and the slow hiss of running water. He looked down the hallway once to double check that he was alone before he reached for the knob and turned it. His heart leapt when he realized the idiots had left it unlocked and he let himself inside the room, flicking the lock behind him. The door to the bathroom was open and Nnoitra could see steam seeping out. Nnoitra's head turned to the bed and he saw a lump under the thin sheet that was covering the bed. It wasn't moving, not from what he could see, but it was definitely too small to be Takashiro. He'd only seen the man once but he didn't forget faces once he'd seen them. It was one of the things that made him an asset to Aizen. Nnoitra suddenly remembered that he was supposed to be on a job right then but he immediately dismissed it. Fuck Aizen. Nnoitra had more important things to do and no one was going to get in his way. Nnoitra reached out to the TV and turned the volume up, not too loud, but still loud enough to cover at least some of the noise he knew he was about to make. Nnoitra walked to the bathroom and stood by the door, looming, waiting, for the perfect moment to reveal himself. A moment that he'd catch Takashiro off guard, see, smell, hear that initial fear that shot through the man like lightning.

The water shut off and Nnoitra remained still, clenching and unclenching his fists, slowing his breathing and steadying himself. He felt a familiar zing in his blood at the prospect of hurting this man and he grinned maliciously. Yes, he had missed this feeling.

"Tesla, you little shit. I told you to bring me a towel." A deep voice called out and the bathroom door opened wider.

Time seemed to stop then as the man took one step out and stopped dead when there was someone suddenly in his way. Nnoitra loomed over him, grin still wide enough to insight terror and the air around him almost black with his rage. Takashiro had enough time to look startled and gasp before Nnoitra leaned forward and head-butted him sending Takashiro stumbling backwards on a yelp before catching himself on the door frame.

"Who the hell…?"

Nnoitra didn't speak, instead reached out and picked the man up, tossing him across the room as if he weighed nothing. Takashiro crashed into the built-in desk and landed in a heap, gasping as he tried to regain the breath that had been knocked out of him and right himself. The body on the bed moved a little but neither man paid it any attention. Tesla sat up on the bed, his bruised and battered body revealed as the sheet slowly slipped off him and he frowned as he tried to get his vision to clear. All he could hear was the TV and harsh breathing, something clattering to the hardwood floor and his own racing thoughts. He blinked and finally saw Takashiro by the desk, desperately trying to lift himself off the floor.

Nnoitra stalked across the room and wrapped one long fingered hand around the back of the Takashiro's neck, pulling his head back and slamming his face into the hard wood of the desk. Takashiro cried out and spat blood and chips of teeth when Nnoitra pulled him back and did it again before pulling him to his feet and pressing him face first into the wall.

"Who... who the fuck… are you?" Takashiro asked, his voice shaking and wet sounding as blood seeped from nose, mouth and other facial wounds. Nnoitra remained silent. Grinning.

Long thin fingers crept into wet hair, pulling Takashiro's head back sharply and a bony knee slammed into the middle of Takashiro's back. The man cried out again and Nnoitra flung him to the floor, kicking him in the side as hard as he could and sneering when he finally heard and felt bones crack above the man's throaty grunt of pain. Nnoitra reached in his back pocket before stopping himself and pulling his hand back out again. His favorite weapon, his always-with-him brass knuckles that he had had since he was fifteen, dropped back to the bottom on his pocket and settled. He didn't want to use any weapons this time. He wanted to do this with his bare hands. Nnoitra dropped to one knee, reaching out for Takashiro's head again and easily getting passed the man's poor attempts at defending himself. He grabbed the man's hair again and held his head down to the floor as he pulled back his fist and rammed it into Takashiro's face. Again. Again. _Again_.

Tesla grabbed at the sheet and shook his head slowly at what he saw, eyes wide and mouth hanging open on a silent scream. Takashiro choked and coughed up more blood, some of it spattering on Nnoitra's cheek, but Nnoitra' didn't stop, his wide fist just kept planting itself in the middle of this hated man's face and he didn't care enough to stop. Nnoitra felt cartilage snap, felt teeth crack and it only fueled him to hit harder. The blood was hot against his skin and with another punch he felt Takashiro's face tear and bleed more, spurring Nnoitra on that much more.

"N…Nn….oi…." Tesla managed finally as he watched with wide and horrified eyes, but Nnoitra didn't hear him.

Takashiro's body shuddered violently and his hands rose to try and push Nnoitra away, catching in Nnoitra's hair and snagging it. The man coughed and more blood sprayed across Nnoitra's face but he couldn't feel it. Nnoitra's fist sank once more into flesh and bone and he felt a snap before Takashiro went completely still. And still, Nnoitra hit him. He wanted to smash his face beyond recognition and he was hell bent on doing just that.

"Nnoi… Nnoitra-sama." Tesla said again, his voice still not reaching Nnoitra's ears.

Tesla watched, horrified, as Nnoitra continued to beat Takashiro's lifeless body, the sick, dull, wet thud of his fist meeting the mans' ruined face along with Nnoitra's loud panting breaths echoing throughout the room. Tesla stood and he approached Nnoitra as carefully as he could. He didn't want to go anywhere near the two men but his body refused to listen to him. Refused to go back to bed, cover his face and try to pretend he didn't hear anything. With one tentative hand he reached out and touched Nnoitra's shoulder. Nnoitra turned and struck out, catching Tesla in the side of the head, sending him crashing into the built-in desk area where he fell to the floor and ceased to move. Nnoitra stopped then, panting and looking around the room as if seeing it for the first time. The only sounds now were his breathing and the TV and Nnoitra suddenly felt like throwing up. He looked down at the body on the floor in front of him and sneered before standing and taking a deep, shaky breath. He let his head tip back and cracked his neck as he reached for his phone with his cleaner hand and dialed a number he hadn't had to call in a long time.

"Long time no hear, Nnoitra-sama." A smooth and cool voice called out and Nnoitra snorted.

"I need a cleaner." Nnoitra's voice was rough and nearly unrecognizable even to himself and eyes traveled to Tesla as he sighed. "And grab Szayel too. I got an injured fucktard here too."

"Where?" the voice asked and Nnoitra could hear fingers flying over a keyboard in the background.

"Sakura Hotel in Ikebukuro." Nnoitra stated and took another deep breath.

"And how much cleaning are we looking at here?" the voice asked.

Nnoitra looked down at the deformed body of Takashiro and grinned, sickened and yet pleased with his work. "A lot."

* * *

Nnoitra didn't think about how long he stood there, waiting for someone to show up so he could leave and get back to the hospital. He wanted to see Shinji. Wanted to tell him that this man would never hurt anyone again, let alone him. Wanted to let him know that he had suffered at least a fraction of the pain Shinji had. Nnoitra didn't know if he'd ever actually tell Shinji what exactly happened here today, but it settled his mind more to think about at the very least letting Shinji know that this piece of filth was gone now. Nnoitra's body tensed when there was a small tapping at the door, his eyes narrowed as he took a few steps closer to it.

"Yeah?"

"Espada Cleaning Service." A cheery voice called out and Nnoitra rolled his eyes as he reached for the lock and flipped it open.

Nnoitra didn't recognize the man that stood directly in front of the door but he immediately did the man behind him. Nnoitra's lip curled a bit and he opened the door enough for the two men to step inside the room, shutting it quickly behind them. The first man, the one that had spoken first, whistled loudly at what he saw.

"Wow, you meant it when you said messy didn't you?"

"Shut up you." The man behind him scolded and titled his head as he regarded the body on the floor. He looked up at Nnoitra with gold eyes and smiled widely.

"You couldn't have left him a _little_ alive for me to play with?"

Nnoitra didn't bother answering and closed his hands into fists at his sides, dried blood cracking and peeling as he did so. He'd always thought Szayel's father was a sick bastard but this man, if he could be called that with how much of his body was plastic or metal on the inside, this man was light-years ahead in that department. Dark blue hair caught the light of the setting sun through the window as the man bent to double check the pulse on Takashiro.

"Mayuri-sama. This one's still alive." The other said, still far too cheery for the task at hand.

"Well then I don't care about him. This one will work just fine anyway, dead or not."

"Just hurry the fuck up." Nnoitra snapped. Even if Takashiro deserved what he had gotten and what his body was about to get, it didn't mean that Nnoitra wanted to know what was going to happen once the body was gone.

There was another short knock at the door and Szayel stepped inside, clicking his tongue and shaking his head.

"Rather careless of you, isn't it? Leaving the door unlocked like this." Szayel said as he took in the state of the room and sighed. He smirked slowly and looked up at Nnoitra.

"So why is this one dead and that one not?"

"'cuz." Nnoitra answered shortly and Szayel rolled his eyes.

"I suppose I have to take care of the blond one. Tesla, wasn't it?" Szayel continued, stepping over a large puddle of blood so that he could kneel beside Tesla.

"Whatever, I don't care. I'm leaving." Nnoitra turned and reached for the door, turning the knob and pulling it open an inch before Szayel's voice stopped him.

"I don't think that's such a great idea, Nnoi." Violet and gold eyes met and Szayel smiled patronizingly at Nnoitra before saying anything else. "You _are_ covered in blood after all."

Nnoitra finally looked down at himself and realized, though he should have long before this point, that he was indeed covered in Takashiro's blood. He grunted and closed the door again, turning around to regard the men moving around the room now. Szayel and the unknown man lifted Tesla back to the bed after making sure his neck wasn't broken and Mayuri began to pull medical grade hand saws out of a large duffle bag he had brought in with him. Szayel covered Tesla to his chin and pulled a canvas bag off his shoulder, tossing it to Nnoitra before bending to help Mayuri move Takashiro's body onto a clear plastic tarp.

"Fresh clothes. I was later than expected because I stopped by Starrk's apartment to get them for you." Szayel said simply before looking up at Nnoitra with an unreadable expression on his face. "Go shower and we'll take care of this for you. Shin-chan must be waiting for you to come back anyway."

Nnoitra sneered and stared at Szayel for a long moment before taking long strides to the bathroom and closing the door behind him. He didn't bother looking at himself in the mirror above the sink as he stripped and stepped in the shower to rinse off as much of the blood and smell of death as he could. He didn't let his mind wander as the water tried it's best to soothe him and the scent of the soap reminded him of earlier days. Days when the only thing he had to worry about was himself and his next meal and finding a safe place to sleep. Sneaking into cheap hotels and breaking into rooms to shower had been nothing back then. Nnoitra closed his eyes and bent to stick his face under the spray, leaning back to scrub soapy hands over it before rinsing and finally shutting off the water.

He grabbed the only clean towel available and dried himself as best he could before slipping into his clean clothes and shoving his dirtied ones back in the canvas bag Szayel had handed him. When Nnoitra opened the bathroom door he saw Szayel and the unknown man cleaning up the blood and Mayuri bent over Takashiro's body. Nnoitra dropped the bag by the bed and walked to the door, opening it and stepping out into the hall without a word, shutting it with a soft click before walking slowly back to where he had left Starrk's car.

* * *

Etta took a seat next to Ichigo's and watched his face as he grabbed both of her hands in his and tried to look her in the eyes. He didn't want to do this, but it was his job.

"There's more, ain't there?" Etta asked, her voice surprisingly calm even as her eyes showed her pain clearly.

Ichigo nodded. "I… didn't think I should say this in front of everyone." He started and was glad when Etta remained silent.

"Shinji…," Ichigo swallowed over the sudden lump in his throat before continuing. "Shinji was clinically… dead twice as we were operating on him, and from what I know he was also without a pulse when the paramedics arrived."

Etta sucked in a breath and closed her eyes. "What does that mean?" she asked, her voice a little shakier now.

"I don't know yet. We'll have to do some scans and mostly… we have to wait and see how Shinji is when he wakes up. But, there is a possibility of some kind of brain damage because of the lack of oxygen during those times his heart was stopped."

Etta pulled one hand out of Ichigo's and covered her mouth with it, eyes still closed and body suddenly very tense. Ichigo scowled deeply before continuing.

"But, that doesn't mean that anything is definite. The times when Shinji's brain wasn't receiving oxygen were very short and we could get lucky… _he_ could get lucky, and nothing… I mean…." Ichigo sighed and shook his head, looking down at the hand he was still holding tightly. "I'm sorry. I… I tried so _hard_ to…."

Etta opened her eyes and pulled her other hand out of Ichigo's grasp before wrapping both her arms around his neck and pulling him closer to her.

"I know. Thank you." She said quietly

Ichigo's body remained stiff in her arms a moment before he finally reached up and hugged her back. He wouldn't break down though; he couldn't. He had to be professional about it. He pulled back from Etta and looked her in the eyes, trying to read how she was handling everything so far. She was such a strong and admirable woman.

"I can't let you go into the room yet, but, if you want to see him now, I can take you to his room and you can see him from the window."

Etta took a shaky breath before nodding, standing when Ichigo did, and together they walked down the hallway and waited for the elevator to take them to the third floor. Etta was nervous and trying desperately to stop the memories of her husbands' death from surfacing but it really was no use. The moment she stepped up to the window that showed her the room her only son was in it all hit her. Her knees went weak and she leaned into Ichigo for support as she saw the bed, the white blanket, the tubes and wires and machines that her son was hooked up to. It all looked so familiar. Etta covered her mouth again and tried to hold back the sob that was trying to tear free as Ichigo rubbed her shoulder.

"We'll do _everything_ we can." Ichigo said with such conviction he almost made himself believe that he could walk in there and make Shinji wake up and say something stupid just to make everyone laugh.

Etta nodded and closed her eyes, turning in Ichigo's arms and nodding into his chest before sniffling, taking a deep breath, and returning her gaze to her son.

"Thank you." She whispered.

* * *

Nnoitra parked the car and slid his large frame out of it before slamming it shut and heading for the hospital entrance. His face was blank but his stride was long and it took him no time at all to reach the automatic doors. The elevator in the lobby was just shutting and he managed to stick his hand in between the doors to stop them just in time. The doors hissed open and surprised, wide blue eyes greeted him. Nnoitra regarded the man briefly before stepping inside and pressing the button for the third floor.

"How is he?"

Nnoitra grunted in answer and the other man sighed.

"Nnoi…."

"I don't wanna talk about it right now Grimm." Nnoitra snapped and Grimmjow closed his mouth and lowered his head.

"Fine."

They rode the rest of the way in silence, both men highly uncomfortable with the situation but not knowing how to smooth it over in the least. Grimmjow still didn't know exactly what had happened but if Nnoitra was upset, and he could tell how upset Nnoitra was just standing next to the man, it had to have been bad. The doors hissed open again and Grimmjow stepped out first, looking back over his shoulder at Nnoitra and watching the man take a deep breath before following him. The waiting room was still full of people, hushed voices barely reaching Grimmjow's ears and not managing to get through Nnoitra's block. The tall man crossed the room and handed Starrk his keys before silently leaving again. Grimmjow watched his thin back retreat and frowned before taking a seat next to Starrk and letting out a long, pent up breath.

"So…. What happened?"

* * *

Nnoitra waited for Etta and Ichigo to walk away before he forced himself to walk up to the window looking into Shinji's room. His breath came out in a rush and he scowled deeply at Shinji's still figure on the bed. He looked so small lying there. So fragile. Nnoitra took a deep breath and one of his arms rose without him noticing, fingertips pressing against the glass as he felt his chest constrict again. Nnoitra's palm flattened against the glass and his mouth opened as he leaned closer, his eye closing and forehead resting against the window as well as a single word tumbled from his lips in a half broken whisper.

"Shinji."

* * *

A/N So... yeah. I kept thinking that I should change that death scene there but the more I thought about it the more ti made sense. I said this to Storm earilier and I stand by it: "... Anyway, I was thinking before that I should make that scene where Nnoi kills Takashiro longer and louder and more violent, but the more I think about it, the fact that Nnoi walks in, says nothing, and literally kills Takashiro by smashing his face in with his own fist, the only sound that sick thud sound... it makes it more creepy, more real, and in my opinion more of an impact on the reader. It's swift, violent, and Nnoi. I mean, remember how he just sort of snuck up on Grimm and Ichi's fight? BAM, suddenly he's there and Grimm's even more cut up. I think making him quiet through all of it makes a change from all the cliched reveal-what-yer-doing conversation that anime's always make two people fighting have. I know if I was angry enough and actually WANTED to kill someone I certainly wouldn't be explaining myself while I was doing nor making small talk. Plus, Nnoi's a killer. He's had jobs like this before where he needs to get it done quietly and efficiently. Sure, he goes overboard and makes a far bigger mess than he should, but this way none of the other guests at the hotel should know anything is going on."

This chapter, again, was hard to write. As those who were at the LS today know, I cried again during the little scene between Ichi and Etta. But, I'm happy with how it all turned out in the end and I hope you all are as well. I'll get the rest of this story out as soon as possible but I'll warn you now that there are two, possibly three chapters left before it's completely over, and that includes an Epilogue. Such a long road and harder than I expected at some points, but I'm happy with how it all turned out.

Enjoy~

~Penny


	31. And In The End

And In The End

Ichigo walked through the front door of his house and sighed deeply as he slipped off his shoes and locked the door behind him. A wet overcoat was hung in the entrance before he walked into the house and slowly pulled at his tie. He was so worn out from the last three days that had he been thinking straight he would have marveled at the fact that he kept his feet under him. He felt bad for leaving the hospital, for leaving Shinji, but in the end he had been forced to go home and get some rest. Ichigo frowned at the small packet of sleeping pills that had been given to him, _just in case_. Grimmjow stood from the couch when Ichigo entered the living room and held out a steaming cup of chamomile tea. Ichigo smiled tiredly at the cup and sighed before taking it and sitting heavily on the couch. Grimmjow sat next to him and rested his arm across the back of the couch behind Ichigo's head.

"How's he doin'?" Grimmjow asked quietly, his voice barely carrying over whatever it was he had been watching on the TV.

Ichigo nodded, face turned forward and eyes fixed on the air in front of the fireplace. "Good. Really good actually. If he keeps healing this quickly we can take him off the respirator next week and move him out of ICU." His voice was a little rough and if Grimmjow hadn't been able to see how tired Ichigo was just by looking at him he would have been able to tell just by his voice.

Grimmjow's fingers lightly brushed against the back of Ichigo's neck before applying pressure to the sore, stiff muscles. Ichigo hadn't taken more than an hour or two break here and there since Shinji had been brought into the emergency room Saturday afternoon and it was already late Monday evening. Ichigo took a sip from his tea before bending forward and setting the cup on the coffee table. Ichigo hung his head and shook it before reaching up to ruffle his own hair.

"I should take a shower before I pass out. Check on the kids…."

"Kids are fine." Grimmjow interjected and Ichigo sat back to look at him, eyes never really meeting with Grimmjow's.

"Thank you." Ichigo said, brows pulling together.

Grimmjow frowned and reached to rub his hand against Ichigo's back. "How are _you_ doin'?"

Ichigo closed his eyes; they both knew that Grimmjow wasn't talking about how tired Ichigo was. Ichigo still hadn't given himself enough time to think too much about all that had happened on Saturday, any time he felt it creeping up on him he had moved to see another patient or started feverishly working on the pile of paperwork laying on his desk. It wasn't until one of his fellow residents had caught him dozing in the stairwell that his boss had finally sent him home. Now that he was home his brain was racing, trying to think of things that would keep him up, keep him busy so he didn't have to think about anything.

"I'm fine. Just… a little worn out."

"Hey. Look at me." Grimmjow commanded in a soft but still gruff tone and Ichigo's shoulders jerked before he moved his head up.

Grimmjow kept the hand rubbing Ichigo's back and lifted his other, lifting Ichigo's chin and forcing him to finally meet his eyes. At first Ichigo was being stubborn, his face remaining placid yet eyes defiant. But then his chin trembled and his brow furrowed further. Grimmjow let go of Ichigo's chin and watched him as he face fell and Ichigo closed his eyes, taking a deep though shaky breath before shaking his head.

"I can't…," Ichigo started, his voice cracking almost immediately. "I can't get the image of him covered in blood and not breathing out of my head. I can't stop thinking… I'm the one that cut into him and fished out those bullets. I…."

Ichigo's voice finally broke and Grimmjow pulled him close, wrapping his arms around him and scooting closer. It'd been a long time since he'd held Ichigo like this, while the younger man cried his grief into his chest, and it broke his heart a little to be there again. Grimmjow closed his eyes and kissed the side of Ichigo's head, not bothering with words and conveying his love and support through his embrace. He held Ichigo until the sobs died down, until the sniffling stopped and finally the breathing evened out. Once Grimmjow was sure that Ichigo was asleep he stood and picked him up bridal style, momentarily irritated that he had to struggle a bit to get the right hold on Ichigo, before walking him down the hall and taking him to bed. After stripping him of his clothing Grimmjow slipped Ichigo between the sheets and stripped down as well before sliding in next to Ichigo and wrapping an arm around his waist. Ichigo leaned into him in his sleep and snuggled close and Grimmjow held him the rest of the night.

* * *

As time has a habit of doing, days passed and Shinji's condition continued to improve. Nnoitra visited him every day, sat by his bedside and scowled at Shinji's form; watched the steady but forced rise and fall of his chest as the respirator did its job keeping Shinji alive while his body focused only on healing itself. Etta came a lot as well, bringing Yayoi with her even though she wasn't allowed to bring the baby in the room with her. Since Nana felt uncomfortable coming to the hospital with her that left either a free nurse or Nnoitra to hold Yayoi while Etta spent some alone time with her son. Nnoitra had protested at first, lip curling and anxiety bubbling in his belly at the thought of holding that tiny creature again. And then he'd remembered the look on Shinji's face when he had been caught holding her the last time and Etta managed to force Yayoi on him while he was thinking about it. Before Nnoitra knew it he was alone in the hallway holding something that, though tiny already, looked even smaller in _his_ arms. He had stared down at Yayoi and grit his teeth as he watched her blink and slowly move her arms about and something tugged at his chest. After that first time, though he made a show of not wanting to do it, Etta never again had to force Yayoi on Nnoitra.

After nearly a week on the respirator, Shinji's attending decided it was safe to take Shinji off of it to allow him to breathe naturally. It was a tense day for everyone and when Shinji took his first shallow breath on his own Etta broke into tears and turned to wrap her arms around a very surprised Nnoitra's middle. Nnoitra didn't hug her back, held his arms out and up at his sides as if he didn't know what to do with the poor woman. But he knew what she was feeling; like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders while at the same time someone else socked him in the gut. He half expected Shinji's eyes to flutter open and him to frown at everyone before demanding they get out of the room. Nnoitra knew that Shinji would never really want anyone to see him as he was right then; hair in a bundle of controlled chaos, a bruise decorating forehead where three stitches pulled his torn skin back together, body smelling of whatever the nurses had put in the water for Shinji's sponge bath. Not that Nnoitra was going to go anywhere, not after his last job for Aizen.

The morning after Nnoitra had killed Takashiro he had received a call from a surprisingly understand – sounding – Aizen that told him as long as the job got done _that day_ there wouldn't be any issues. Nnoitra had snuck into Shinji's room, bent to kiss his cold pale cheek and whispered, "I killed that motherfucker." before sighing. "But I gotta leave for tha day. Just to Kyoto. I'll be back in the mornin'."

Nnoitra had stood again and looked down at Shinji, lip curling a bit at what he saw and the feelings it stirred inside him; pain, anger, remorse. He took a deep breath, inhaling the medicinal scent of Shinji's room before he walked out and ran off to do his job. He'd come back in record time and spent every day since haunting the halls outside Shinji's room in the ICU. Anytime someone allowed him to go into Shinji's room Nnoitra pulled a chair up beside his bed and sat in it, crossing long thin arms over his chest as he glared death at the almost mechanical rise and fall of Shinji's chest and imagined himself beating in Takashiro's face again. He wasn't exactly happy with the way things had turned out that night but the piece of shit was dead already and there wasn't a damn thing he could or wanted to do about it.

But his mind now was focused solely on Shinji, pointy elbows resting uncomfortably on bony knees and hands clasped under Nnoitra's thin chin. Shinji had been off the respirator a week now and there had been no sign that he was about to wake up any time soon. The doctor had told everyone not to worry about it, that it was a good thing for Shinji to sleep while he healed, but Nnoitra thought the man was full of shit. Shinji had been in a coma for two weeks and needed to wake the hell up already as far as he was concerned, and if that wasn't happening yet then something must be wrong. Something the doctor was keeping from him. Thoughts that that roiled in Nnoitra's mind and an irrational hate for Shinji's doctor began to brew towards the man. The man did his best to only see Shinji when Nnoitra wasn't there, or at the very least, wasn't in the room. Nnoitra watched the steady rise and fall of Shinji's chest, watched his face for any sign of movement, but all he saw was the same thing as he always did: Shinji as he looked in a deep, peaceful sleep. But Nnoitra was sick of seeing him like this. He couldn't argue with Shinji if he was sleeping. He couldn't tease or kiss or pull him into his arms and tell him how much he loved him. Couldn't complain about his cooking if he wasn't there to cook; all he could do was sit and stare and _wait_ for something to happen. And he _hated_ it.

There was as small tap at the door before it pushed in, but Nnoitra didn't bother to look up. Etta poked her head inside and smiled sadly at the man beside her son's bed.

"Nnoi-chan, I got…."

"Don't fuckin' call me that!" Nnoitra said, voice low but still full of outrage as he whipped around to glare death at the woman who dared call him that.

Etta only smiled. "I got Yo-chan here with me. Can ya come hold 'er while I talk ta Shin-chan?"

Nnoitra kept a sneer on his face as he stood and walked to the door, reaching out and plucking Yayoi out of Etta's arms as if he had been doing things like that since birth. Etta hid her smile at that and thanked him before taking the seat by Shinji's bed that he had just exited. Nnoitra huffed and pressed Yayoi against his shoulder, cupping the back of her neck with one hand and using the other to support her bottom. Nnoitra didn't realize that Etta could have left Yayoi in her car seat and brought her up in that instead of leaving it in the car and carrying her. That way he wouldn't have had to carry Yayoi everywhere but Etta thought it was just the cutest thing in the world to see that giant of a man carry around a baby as tiny as Yayoi was. And it wasn't going to hurt Nnoitra any to get closer to that little girl if he was going to be spending any of his future with Shinji, Etta thought.

Nnoitra walked down to the cafeteria with Yayoi and ordered himself a large cup of black coffee before he realized he wasn't going to be able to hold the baby and his coffee the way he was holding her. He stood there a moment, staring longingly at the coffee cup, his mouth watering, and trying to figure out what to do when he heard a chuckle from behind him. Nnoitra looked around to see Ichigo decked out in his white coat and name badge, smiling at him.

"Need some help?" Ichigo asked and Nnoitra moved his hand enough to flip Ichigo off.

Ichigo shook his head and reached out, taking Yayoi in his arms so Nnoitra could grab his coffee. Nnoitra was too grateful to have his coffee that he didn't bother trying to glare at Ichigo for so easily taking Yayoi from him.

"Okaachan is here I take it?" Ichigo asked and Nnoitra nodded as he gulped the steamy liquid greedily.

"Yer not gonna give her any nasty germs are ya?" Nnoitra asked as he pulled the cup away to breathe, gesturing to Yayoi with his free hand. "'cos I ain't gettin' in trouble 'cos ya got 'er sick."

"I'm fine. I just got here and haven't even started yet so chill out. I _do_ have three kids you know. It's not like I don't know what I'm doing."

Nnoitra's lip curled but he didn't say anything as he raised the cup back to his lips. He was actually glad he had run into Ichigo so he didn't have to go hunt him down after the nurses kicked Nnoitra out of Shinji's room once visiting hours where up. He had some questions about Shinji that he needed answered as soon as possible and he felt the least uncomfortable asking Ichigo rather than Shinji's mother. He'd made up some rather big things in his mind over the past couple weeks and he was ready to move forward with the things he could now. He finished off his beverage and tossed the cup in the trash can before he looked down at Ichigo with a thoughtful and slightly disturbing frown.

"I got some… questions ta ask ya. 'Bout Shinji." Nnoitra started, frowning harder as each word came out.

Ichigo frowned back. "Like what?" he asked pensively.

Nnoitra reached up with one hand and placed it on the back of his neck, rubbing at the skin as he tried to think of the right way to say and ask the things he needed to. He felt so stupid saying certain words and felt even more awkward having someone actually hear them. He took a deep breath and let it out in a rush.

"Do ya… do ya know if Shinji likes rings? 'Cos I never seen him wear any but thought that maybe it was just 'cos he didn't have none…." Nnoitra's voice trailed off as he felt increasingly ridiculous at each word.

Ichigo looked thoughtful as he slowly rubbed Yayoi's back and rocked her where he stood. "You know… I have no idea. He's never said anything about it really. Though, he did have this stupid toy ring back in middle school. It was a plastic disco ball on an adjustable band and he wore that thing until the ball got lost and cried for two days when it did." Ichigo shook his head and smiled nostalgically.

Nnoitra grunted and reached out for Yayoi, taking her up to his shoulder like he had been holding her before he nodded down to Ichigo and walking away without saying thank you. Ichigo shook his head and watched the man leave before grabbing a bottle of water from a refrigerator, swiping his name card to pay for it and getting back to work. Nnoitra returned to Shinji's room just as Etta was exiting and he handed Yayoi back to the woman.

"I got something I gotta go do." Nnoitra said, looking into the open doorway at Shinji's still form on the bed and scowling.

"Tell 'im I'll be back in about an hour." he finished before walking slowly away from Etta.

Etta smiled. Something she had noticed since Shinji had been brought to the hospital was that Nnoitra never went anywhere without making sure Shinji knew about it. Even if it was just the amount of time Nnoitra was going to be gone, he always said he'd be back. It warmed her heart to see the man acting that way and she only hoped that her son would hurry and wake so he could see it as well. Etta returned to Shinji's bed with Yayoi and smiled down at her son.

"Look who's here to see her daddy." Etta cooed and Yayoi gurgled in response to the noise.

Shinji made no move and Etta sighed. "Gotta wake up, Shin-chan. Gotta hold yer baby girl and tell her how much ya lover 'er."

Still nothing.

Etta sighed again and bent to kiss Shinji's cheek, cradling Yayoi's head against her chest as she did so.

"Oh, and yer man said he'll be back in an hour."

Shinji chest rose and fell at the same rate and Etta kissed his cheek again before leaving the room. Nana needed a ride to an appointment that morning and she wasn't going to be able to stay with him as long as she usually did today. She looked back over her shoulder as she left the room and forced a happy smile on her face. She had many things to be grateful for and at least Shinji was still alive. He'd wake up when he was good and ready and that was just all there was to it. Shinji always had enjoyed doing things on his own time, after all.

* * *

Nnoitra was pissed. He had taken three minutes of his precious time with Shinji to grab a sandwich from the vending machine down the hall and he had missed it; the first bit of movement Shinji had made since the paramedics had found him and he had fucking missed it. Etta was in tears, holding Shinji's hand and squeezing it as she whispered broken German to him and rocked back and forth. Nnoitra made a vow after that that he wasn't leaving the room for anything. Ever. Not until that asshole got up out of that bed and walked the fuck home with him. Nearly three weeks after his surgery Nnoitra had set up camp beside Shinji's bed and refused to leave when the nurses told him to. Refused to leave when they had called up Ichigo to try and persuade him that he at least needed to leave the room while visiting hours were over. Nnoitra had told him he'd rather suck Grimmjow's dick than leave, which had disgusted, confused and pissed Ichigo off enough that the two had engaged in a short but loud battle of wits that Nnoitra, surprisingly, won. Nnoitra had grinned and sat back down in his chair before turning back to Shinji's bed and watching him.

"If he fuckin' moved while we were talkin' and I missed it again, I'll turn ya inta a woman." Nnoitra grumbled and Ichigo sighed, leaving the room in defeat.

"They'll call the police if you make trouble, Nnoitra." he called out as a warning that Nnoitra ignored.

Three more days passed and nothing happened. Nnoitra was back to resting thin elbows on bony knees, body so close to the bed he was nearly touching it. Shinji just breathed and slept and irritated Nnoitra to no end. He wished that he could just reach out and shake him awake, force his eyes to open and blink up at him. He didn't even care if Shinji's first words where, "I hate you let go of me." at least it would be _something_ besides… _this_. This nothingness, this emptiness that curled around Nnoitra's bones and seeped into the marrow. Nnoitra took a deep breath and let it out his nose as he reached out and pulled Shinji's limp yet warm hand into his own, squeezing gently, letting the tips of his fingers brush against Shinji's wrist. He felt Shinji's pulse flutter and it made his own heart jump and his eye dart to Shinji's face. Nothing. Nnoitra hung he head and shook it slowly, pulling his hand back so that his fingers spread Shinji's and linked with them.

"Just fuckin' wake up already." Nnoitra whispered quietly and took a deep breath. "I got ya a present." he added and closed his eye.

When nothing happened, not that he had really been expecting it to at this point, Nnoitra lowered his head to rest against Shinji's blanket clad hip, their fingers still linked. Nnoitra kept his eye closed and let the sound of Shinji's breathing fill him and slowly lull him to sleep.

* * *

The first thing he remembered smelling was the scent of his own bath soap. He inhaled it and let it prick his senses as he slowly woke. It smelled… different though, as if it were mixed with other, far more unpleasant things. Like bleach and sick and antiseptic. He furrowed his brow and tried to open his eyes but nothing happened and it left him a little confused. He didn't understand why his eyes weren't cooperating with him. He tried again and finally saw a blinding sliver of white light before shutting them tight. It had burned and he didn't want to be in pain again. The last thing he remembered was pain, so much pain, and he'd just as soon never return to that. He tried to lift one of his arms and found it trapped against his chest. He tried his other and found it held by something else. Eyes slitted open again, this time able to bear with the light a little better, and he squinted at the ceiling above his head. He frowned because he didn't recognize it and moved his eyes around to see if he could recognize anything. Something moved next to him on the bed and he looked down, head not moving but eyes searching for where the movement had come from.

The first thing he saw was a mass of messy black hair, then a skewed white bandana and a tilted, closed eye. His eyes moved over a thin nose and a wide mouth before stopping at a pointed chin. His mouth opened and he tried to speak but words got stuck before they could come out. He tried to move his hand again and finally realized that he couldn't move it because it was being held. Fingers flexed weakly and the brow of the man on his bed furrowed. He did it again, fingers barely moving, and a narrow violet eye opened and blinked. The face frowned and he tried to move his hand again, this time the man on the bed next to him started and lifted his head, eye darting up to meet a confused and frowning face. Full lips parted as he tried to speak again, and the man's mouth fell open a bit as a raspy, coarse word tripped and fell passed dry lips.

"N-Nnoi?"

Nnoitra's eye widened and he felt a strange pressure in his chest as fingers weakly tried to move against his own again. He inhaled sharply before he stopped breathing altogether and just stared. Pale brown eyes blinked slowly as they tried to focus and Nnoitra felt something rise and stick in his throat. He hoped to whatever god was out there that he wasn't dreaming. If he was then he didn't want to wake up until the real Shinji did. Shinji closed his mouth and Nnoitra watched the corners turn slightly upwards before it hit him, _really hit him_, what he was looking at. He felt his eye sting for a moment, saw his vision blur as a sensation he had never felt before filled him and one fat, salty tear slid down his cheek. Nnoitra dropped his head back down to Shinji's hip and squeezed his eye shut tight.

"Nnoi." Shinji's voice came again, still a little breathing and hoarse.

Nnoitra's shoulders shook once as, for the first time in his life, he cried. He didn't make a sound save for the occasional manly sniffle, but tears ran freely and soaked the thin blanket covering Shinji and the bed. Shinji watched, confused at what he was seeing and upset that Nnoitra was reacting like he was. Nnoitra couldn't even feel like a sissy for what he was doing because he was too relived at seeing the color of Shinji's eyes again. Of seeing his face do anything besides look relaxed. Of feeling his fingers move in his hand. Of hearing his name from that wonderful mouth. He squeezed Shinji's fingers and rubbed his face into the blanket in a vain attempt to stop the flow, hoping the whole time that he wasn't going to look back up and see Shinji was back to sleep or worse yet find that he had hallucinated the entire thing. When he was sure he had composed himself enough, and dried his face enough, to face Shinji again he looked up and met Shinji's still open eyes.

"I love you." he blurted out and saw Shinji's lips twitch again as his eyes started to slip closed again.

"Lu' ya too." Shinji mumbled. "So tired…."

Nnoitra frowned. "Can't ya… just…. Please stay awake." Nnoitra pleaded quietly, voice barely reaching Shinji's ears. He was new to things like this and the words didn't roll off his tongue easily. It made it easier to say if he could barely himself.

Shinji hummed softly and finally his lips curved into a real smile. "Tryin'." Shinji whispered as he began to drift off again.

Nnoitra cleared his throat and reached up with his free hand, wiping away anything that might still be there before he stood and leaned over Shinji's bed. He pressed his lips lightly to Shinji's, closing his eye again when he felt movement for the first time in what felt like forever.

"You been sleepin' forever, Blondie. Wake up again soon." he whispered against Shinji's lips and Shinji hummed again.

"'kay." Shinji whispered back.

As Shinji drifted off again Nnoitra took a moment to watch him as his face went slack, noticing that this time it still seemed to hold a bit of the tension. He knew he should tell everyone about what had just happened but he wanted to savor the moment just a little longer; just him and Shinji. After all, as Nnoitra was always eager to point out, he was selfish and Shinji was his.

* * *

Two weeks later Shinji was discharged from the hospital with a relatively clean bill of health. There had been no complications with his surgery and more importantly no signs of any sort of brain damage from the times he had been clinically dead. The only thing that Shinji was going home with was acute weakness in his slightly atrophied muscles and his upper body swathed in bandages more to help him stay upright than anything else. Shinji's bones were healing nicely, but his lung and a few ribs were still giving him a lot of pain. Luckily the tube that had been inserted after surgery to help drain off and excess fluids his lung may contain was removed before he left but the wound would have to be cared for by someone at home from now on. Shinji was in no position yet to do so himself so Etta was to come over to the apartment every day to change Shinji's bandages and check how his wounds were healing. Nnoitra had said that he would do it but Etta had brushed off the offer as if it were nothing, which had irritated Nnoitra enough that he glared at the woman as she packed Shinji's things in a small bag.

After Shinji had woken up the world had decided to visit him and offer their well wishes to a speedy recovery. Yumi stopped by to report on things at the club as soon as Shinji regained bit more of his senses. He was in the process of interviewing people to replace Tesla and asked permission to hire Ikkaku as a waiter for the restaurant that had already begun construction the week before; just as planned. Shinji was upset that he had missed both Christmas and the New Year but perked up at the mention of a bash being planned for him for when he got his strength back. The first time he had seen Yayoi he had teared up for two very different reasons. One, she was so much bigger now than he remembered and two because he wasn't strong enough to hold her on his own yet, especially with one arm in a sling. Someone had to be by his side and help him hold her and it made him feel inadequate as a father.

Shinji seemingly remembered everything, even the phone call from Nnoitra though his brain started to grow a bit fuzzy at that point. He had taken the news of his repeated deaths rather well when Ichigo had told him and had been more upset by the fact that Ichigo had been the one to perform the surgery on him. Not that it bothered him at all that Ichigo had been the one to perform it so much as Shinji felt like he had put Ichigo through too much. Both Shinji and Ichigo had cried and laughed at how stupid they were being. Even Grimmjow had come in, Tomoe in his arms, and patted Shinji on an unwrapped shoulder.

"Good to see ya finally woke up." the man had grunted before leaving the room almost as quickly as he had come in.

Now that they were home and the fanfare that the move had caused was died down, Shinji leaned back into the cushions of his couch and pointedly refused to look at the spot on the floor where he had died. Nnoitra had talked to some of the cleaners that Aizen used to fix up little messes like these and had arranged to change the carpeting in Shinji's apartment living room, free of charge for the most part because the particular cleaner he used had a sick fascination with blood. He didn't want to know what that carpet had or was being used for and was just happy to see that hideous spot gone. Shinji groaned and made a face, frowning at the TV remote that was on the coffee table and thus too far for him to reach. Nnoitra smirked and grabbed the thing up, handing it to Shinji before standing up straight and staring down at the blond thoughtfully.

Shinji frowned up at him. "What?"

Nnoitra shrugged. "Want anythin' ta drink? Ain't it time fer yer pill?" he asked and Shinji sighed.

"What I want is for you to stop actin' so damn weird. I ain't… _that_ broken. Just sit the fuck down and relax."

A wide grinned stretched Nnoitra's mouth and he laughed quietly before licking his lips. "Bossy bitch."

Shinji rolled his eyes but smiled just the same. "There you are." he whispered.

Nnoitra watched Shinji flip through channels for a moment before he wandered off to drop Shinji's bag in his room and grab a glass of water so he could take his antibiotics. Shinji had limited himself to two pain pills a day _max_ so that he, hopefully, wouldn't become dependent on them again like he had the last time he had taken them. When Nnoitra returned to the living room he dropped Shinji's pills into his open palm and handed him the glass to swallow them down. Shinji handed back to glass and watched Nnoitra set it on a coaster before sitting on the couch next to Shinji.

"It's nice, bein' home. Not bein' hooked up to anythin', or havin' people come poke at me every hour." Shinji looked up at Nnoitra and grimaced a bit when dull pain spread through his chest.

"That is 'nless yer gonna be pokin' at me know Mr. Suddenly-Turned-Mother-Hen."

Nnoitra snorted and threw an arm over the back of the couch behind Shinji. "Shut up, ya love it. Soak it up while it's here."

Shinji giggled. "It feels good ta relax."

"Che, with all the relaxin' ya just did ya'd think ya'd tire of it already."

"It feels good to be alone with you again. Really alone." Shinji whispered and took a deep breath.

Nnoitra shifted on the couch and looked down at Shinji, chewing on his lip a moment before deciding that he couldn't wait to show Shinji what he had gotten for him. He leaned over and kissed the side of Shinji's head, keeping his lips pressed there as he spoke.

"Ya want yer present now?"

Nnoitra had refused to give Shinji his Christmas present until they were alone and Shinji looked up as quickly as he could without hurting himself, nodding emphatically. Of course he wanted his present. He'd wanted it the moment Nnoitra had mentioned it and had been so irritated that he hadn't been given it. Nnoitra kissed Shinji again and shifted his weight so he could reach inside his pocket and pull it free. He'd kept it close ever since he had bought it, not only because it was for Shinji but because it had cost him a small fortune; every penny he had left to him. It was in a simple black velvet box and Shinji smiled down at it as it was handed to him, wondering if it was new nipple rings or a new fancy tongue ring. Maybe a bracelet or a nice chain necklace. He looked up at Nnoitra before he looked back down and slowly lifted the lid.

Shinji froze at what he saw, mouth dropping open as he looked at the small object. All he could see at first was what looked like a sphere made of tiny diamonds stuck between two small pyramid-like points on either side. He reached for it, pulling it gently from the soft pillow it was seated in and saw the body of a ring almost in the shape of a horseshoe. His breathing increased as he held the ring between his thumb and fore fingers, looking closely at it, instantly reminded of a disco ball held up by metal spikes. Honey eyes rose and locked with two violet ones and his breath caught. He hadn't noticed Nnoitra removing the eye patch and pushing his hair behind both ears, out of his face. Nnoitra cleared his throat and took a deep breath before saying in a deep and rushed voice, "Suppose yer gonna want me ta do this right, ne?"

To Shinji's utter shock Nnoitra pushed off the couch and dropped to a knee, biting his lip and frowning as he looked into Shinji's eyes and reached for the hand that was holding the ring. One of the things he had decided while Shinji had still been out was that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with this person. There was no one else for him and there never would be. Shinji was it and that's all there was too it. And what better way to show his devotion and love, than this?

"Marry me."

Shinji inhaled sharply and dropped the box that the ring had been in.

"What?" he asked, his voice breathy and his throat going dry.

Nnoitra cleared his throat and his lip curled a little before he spoke slowly. "I love ya and I ain't goin' nowhere. Never again. I want ta be here fer everythin'. Fer you… and fer… the little one too."

Shinji's brows furrowed and he shook his head in disbelief. "Really?" he asked, his voice breaking and tears gathering in his eyes. "Y-Yo-chan too?"

Nnoitra looked uncomfortable for a moment but nodded and looked down at the ring.

"Look, I feel like as ass down here, how long ya gonna leave me hangin'?"

Shinji sniffled and let a few tears fall before he nodded his head. "Yes." he whispered and nodded again. "Yes."

Nnoitra grinned in relief and took the ring from Shinji's fingers, sliding it onto the fourth finger of his right hand and kissing it once it was in place. Shinji sobbed openly and when Nnoitra rose to kiss him it was wet and salty from Shinji's tears. Long arms wrapped gently around Shinji's body and pulled him into a gentle hug as Nnoitra whispered words of love to Shinji as he cried. Nnoitra felt like the world had lifted from his shoulders and his chest felt ready to burst with how happy he felt in that moment. Neither one of them were sure how long they sat there like that but it was Nnoitra who finally pulled back first. Shinji took a deep breath and looked down at his new ring, smiling stupidly at it as he wiggled his fingers. The light caught the jewels a bit and Shinji looked up at Nnoitra as the man slid back up onto the couch beside him, grinning.

"I hope yer happy. I watched one'a yer lame foreign romance movies to make sure I did it… kinda right." Nnoitra said, corners of his mouth turning down a bit as the thought of screwing it all up briefly popped up in his mind. He couldn't screw up what he'd already done, he supposed.

Shinji almost started crying all over again at the confession and he giggled at the image of Nnoitra grimacing over whatever movie he had chosen to watch.

"Thank you." Shinji said, reaching out to pull Nnoitra close by his shirt for another, slow kiss. "Soon as I'm better I'mma thank ya properly." Shinji said, his words like a vow that made Nnoitra skin light on fire.

"Promise?"

Shinji smiled. "Of course. How could I not thank my fiancé for this fantabulous ring?" he giggled.

Nnoitra laughed and shook his head, brushing his lips against Shinji's before pulling back and pulling Shinji as close as he could without hurting him.

"Fiancé." he let the foreign word roll off his tongue and found he liked it; quite a lot actually.

"I love you, Nnoi. So much it hurts sometimes." Shinji said as he stared down at his ring and tried to get comfortable next to Nnoitra.

"Same here, Shinji. So much it drives me crazy." He kissed the top of Shinji's head and muttered into his hair, "And I wouldn't have it any other way."

End

* * *

A/N *bawls her eyes out* Well there you have it Duckies, the final chapter of Solid Gold. I'll be putting out a short Epilogue soon but this is basically it. I'm please with how this turned out, even though I'm so very sad to see it end. I don't know much else to say about this right now, my head feels a little numb at he moment and I really should go blow my nose to stop the incessant sniffling that's been going on since I started writing the last scene. Thank you all who supported me throughout this story and continued on from Strawberry Bad boy. It's been a long, windy, bumpy ride that I hope you all enjoyed as much as I did. Thank you all for reading and reviewing.

*bows*

~Penny

*Oh, btw, this is Shinji's ring: http : / www . hedkandi . com / uploads / products / fashion / HR102029 _ 004 _ 1 _ 30661 _ silverFashionProduct1 _ jpg _ Standard . jpg (Just take out the spaces)*


	32. Epilogue

Epilogue

"Oi! Don't do that in the house!" Nnoitra yelled, starling a six year old Yayoi and making her drop the small bottle of bubbles she had been holding in her small hands.

"I wanna see bubbles." she pouted, sucking her bottom lip into her mouth and looking up and Nnoitra with large, pale blue eyes framed by a ink black fringe of bangs.

Nnoitra made a face and straightened his spine. He would win this one. He shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest, sneering little.

"That shit ain't gonna work on me, Yo-yo. I said no bubbles in tha house an' I mean it."

Yayoi smiled suddenly and bent, grabbing the bottle of bubbles up in her hands again before looking back up at Nnoitra. She blinked slowly and Nnoitra felt his stomach drop. Shit, how had he screwed this up so quickly?

"You said a bad word." Yayoi said in a sing song voice.

Nnoitra's shoulders sagged and he sighed dramatically. He wasn't supposed to be cursing around Yayoi, the little brat knew that and used it against him to get what she wanted when the two of them were alone. She could show all sorts of cute faces to everyone else but Nnoitra knew the real Yayoi. She was like a quieter, female version of Shinji only more deadly because she was so tiny and innocent looking. Every time he cursed she'd used it on him later to get something she wanted. And it worked _every time_. Nnoitra didn't get it. How did this six year old little monster out-smart him every damn time?

"Fine. A few bubbles, but that's it, Yo-yo."

Two hours later Yayoi was sprawled with her back against Nnoitra's chest, looking up as the man blew stream after stream of rainbow colored bubbles at the ceiling. They were quiet save for Yayoi's tiny giggles when Nnoitra cursed because he spilled the bubble mix on his shirt for the umpteenth time. Yayoi yawned and closed her eyes, sleep taking her quickly. Nnoitra didn't notice at first, and continued to blow bubbles, one long stream at a time. That was how Shinji found them, Yayoi face up on Nnoitra's chest and fast asleep while Nnoitra played with the bubble stick. Shinji lifted his phone and snapped a quick shot off before anyone noticed he was home. Looked like he was getting a new wallpaper tonight. Shinji dropped his keys in the glass bowl set by the door and Yayoi's eyes popped open. She sat up, digging her elbow in Nnoitra's ribcage and earning a loud grunt from the man followed by another curse as more bubble mix spilled.

"Oto-chan!" she yelled as she sprinted across the living room and jumped into her fathers' arms.

"Why are ya blowin' bubbles in the house?" Shinji asked after kissing her cheek loudly.

Yayoi grinned and whispered, "'cos Nnoi-chan said a bad word."

Shinji chuckled. "Did he now?" Yayoi nodded.

Nnoitra stood up off the couch and pulled his soiled shirt over his head, looking up at Shinji and scowling at the face he was being given.

"Don't f… don't start. I don't wanna hear it."

"I know why yer gay." Shinji started and Nnoitra rolled his eyes, walking out of the room.

"'cos if ya were straight ya would end up as some cute girls' doormat!" Shinji called after him.

"Fuck off Blondie." Nnoitra called back and Shinji giggled.

"Don't say fuck, Yo-chan." Shinji said, carrying Yayoi to the kitchen and setting her on the counter.

"How 'bout I just not _ever_ repeat Nnoi-chan." Yayoi said with a small shake of her head, long black braids swinging gently, and a prim purse to her lips.

Nnoitra came out into the living room again in a fresh shirt and grabbed the near empty bottle of bubbles, capped it and walked to the kitchen to put them away again, this time above the refrigerator. He'd like to see the little sneak get them all the way up there. Nnoitra bent to kiss Shinji, Yayoi covering her face with both hands and giggling, before standing and looking down at the blond with a frown.

"Ain't we goin' ta Grimm's tanight?" he asked in an eager tone and Shinji nodded.

"I just walked in tha door Nnoi. Chill. You'll get to play with Grimm soon enough."

Nnoitra snorted and pinched Shinji's ass. "Wanna get this one worn out so I can play with _you_ all night tanight." Nnoitra muttered in Shinji's ear and Shinji slapped his arm.

"Nnoi! Not in fron'a Yo-chan." Shinji whispered.

Nnoitra smirked and looked at Yayoi. "You didn't hear nothin', right?"

"Did to. You said you were gonna get me worn out so you could…."

"Okay! Time to get dressed fancy Yo-chan. We can't go lookin' like this to tha party, now can we."

Yayoi grinned, mirroring her fathers', and shook her head. "Nope." she said, hopping off the counter and running to her room to change.

Shinji turned and slapped Nnoitra's arm again. "Ya know, soon 'nough she's gonna know what yer talkin' 'bout. Ya need ta knock it off."

Nnoitra pulled Shinji's close and wrapped his arms around the blond's shoulders.

"Thought ya wanted ta be open like yer mama was with you?" Nnoitra teased.

"Yeah well that was easier ta deal with when she wasn't gettin' laid in the room next door."

"I ain't gonna stop touchin' ya 're talkin' like that and ya know it." Nnoitra pointed out and Shinji sighed.

"Ya could at least _try_." he grumbled and Nnoitra laughed.

"Go get dressed. C'mon let's go."

Today was the seventh birthday of Grimmjow and Ichigo's triplets, Tomoe, Taichi and Sorin, and everyone was meeting at their house for a family gathering. Shinji was looking forward to seeing everyone in one place again. So much had changed in the last six years but Shinji's couldn't say that it hadn't all been worth it. Even the bad stuff.

Shortly after Shinji had recovered enough to go back to work again Yumi and Ikkaku confronted him about them reuniting. Shinji had been excited and toasted them at his _Finally Better_ party. He was happy for them, really, and wished them all the best. A few months after that and Ichigo decided to withdraw from the surgical team and focus on family practice. He said he'd had enough of the fast paced emergency room and was looking for something a little more settled. He planned to work with his father until such time he decided to open his own practice. With Grimmjow now working back at the office the triplets went to school during the day and spent the evenings and weekends with their fathers. It had worked perfectly for them ever since.

Just over a year after Nnoitra had proposed to Shinji they had flown to Las Vegas and had a gaudy ceremony there in one of the disco themed chapels. Nnoitra had felt like an idiot repeating all the things that the man dressed in polyester bell-bottomed pants told him to say but the smile on Shinji's face had been worth every bit of it. Their short honeymoon in Germany had gone smoothly if only because Shinji avoided the town his grandparents lived in and they had come back home grinning like idiots for a week. Of course no one complained, how could they when around such happy people?

Nana was in America with her husband, starting a life there with her new family. Shinji was happy for her and grateful that she had allowed Yayoi to stay with him and Nnoitra. He didn't know what he would have done had Nana taken Yayoi with her. Yayoi was going to be spending her summer breaks with her mother in America starting next year since the both of them felt she would be old enough to handle the flight better. Yayoi missed her mother and they spoke every day on the phone but she too was happy she had gotten to stay with Nnoi-chan and oto-chan.

Etta had surprised everyone and asked Starrk to marry her two years after Shinji had been shot. Isshin had seemed happy enough for them but Ichigo had told Shinji that it had broken the poor man's heart a little. Shinji didn't really understand why he felt pride at that and he'd never cared enough to look too far into it. Starrk may not have been the man he would have chosen for his mother but as long as he kept her happy it would be just fine.

Yuzu and Karin were both married, Yuzu on her third child and Karin not yet started on her family. Yuzu had married her first boyfriend, Jinta Hanakari shortly after Etta and Starrk had announced their engagement and their first child had been born one year after that. Karin had married Toushiro Hitsugaya while the two of them had been in Spain at a soccer match. Neither one of them were in a rush to have children though and the only one to complain was Isshin. He just wanted more grandkids to play with.

Shinji had found out that Tesla had been taken to France with Szayel and the two were living together in a large flat in Paris. At first that had upset Shinji, not just because of who Tesla was with but because he hadn't gotten to say goodbye. Nnoitra blamed Tesla for the entire event but Shinji didn't and he wanted to see his friend and let him know that he was okay now. When, six months later, Szayel brought Tesla back to Japan to visit, Shinji and Tesla had both broken down at the airport and cried in each other's arms. And after Shinji had talked to Tesla he felt a little better about who the blond was with. Szayel may be a little creepy and stuck up, but he wouldn't beat Tesla. From how much Shinji knew about Szayel he figured that Tesla was getting treated just the way Tesla liked it. And from recent news from Tesla himself, Szayel had finally decided to stop sleeping with other people to devote himself to Tesla. Shinji didn't think it would last long, but he also hadn't thought that they two would end up together in the first place.

One year ago Shinji had bought _Wank_ from Z and asked Ichigo to help him restore the place to its former glory. Ichigo had jumped on the idea and within a month they opened the doors once again to the public. Hanataro had come to help out on alternate weekends, mostly serving drinks in cute little Lolita costumes. His children were old enough now that he no longer wanted to dress up at home so working the club again was his only outlet. Shinji asked Ichigo to become his second at _Wank_ and it hadn't taken much persuading to get him to agree. The both of them had such wonderful memories in that place after all.

And now here he was, thirty years old, a wonderful husband, an adorable daughter, owner of two thriving businesses, and he didn't think he could be happier with his life. When the three of them pulled up to Grimmjow and Ichigo's house Yayoi hopped out of the car and ran inside, not bothering to knock and barely taking the time to pull her shoes off. Shinji shook his head as he pulled three large boxes out of the trunk.

"I wonder where she gets her manners." Shinji asked and Nnoitra snorted.

"_You_."

Inside the house was already packed with people, and Shinji dropped the presents off at the ridiculously big pile on a table next to the triplets' cake. He wondered how big the cake had started out at and how long it had taken Ichigo to talk Grimmjow out of ordering one that big. Really, that man spoiled his children so rotten. Shinji heard a shriek that sounded vaguely like Nnoitra's name and he turned just in time to see a streak of orange fly across the living room before launching into Nnoitra's waiting arms.

"Uncle Nnoi!" Tomoe yelled and kissed Nnoitra's cheek.

"Hey, knock that off. What'd I tell ya?"

Tomoe frowned and cocked her head. "I ain't gonna listen to ya. It's my birthday I can do whatever I want."

Nnoitra snorted and set Tomoe on the floor. "Where's yer daddy?"

Tomoe pointed towards the back yard before smiling at Shinji and running to hug him as well.

"Happy birthday, Tomo-chan."

"Thank you, Uncle Shin." Tomoe said, sounding like a proper young lady.

"Where are your brothers?" Shinji asked and Tomoe sighed.

"Who knows? Probably playing in garbage somewhere. They're such idiots." She looked up with dark blue eyes and smiled. "Whadja get me?"

Shinji poked her in the nose with a slim finger and didn't say anything as he walked away. He found Ichigo in the backyard, chasing Sorin and a couple other kids around and roaring like a monster. Grimmjow was laughing at him, as was Nnoitra, who was already standing near him and Starrk with a beer in hand on the other side of the yard. Taichi was off in a corner with a brown haired and very round looking boy Shinji vaguely remembered as being their neighbor's son, Daisuke. A wild pack of giggles was heard, drawing Shinji's attention back to the boys and Ichigo, who was now being taken to the ground and jumped upon.

"Okay, okay! The monster gives!" Ichigo laughed and tried to stand up, falling back again when Sorin came out of nowhere and tackled him, giggling like crazy.

Etta was there as well, handing Starrk a fresh beer and smiling like a woman half her age when he thanked her and kissed her cheek softly. Etta said something to Nnoitra that had the man scowling at her and Starrk letting out one of his lazy chuckles. Shinji smiled at the scene before looking down when something pulled at his pants. Wide blue eyes looked up at Shinji and he smiled, pulling Yayoi up in his arms and resting her on a thin, cocked hip.

"What's up beautiful?"

Yayoi shrugged and leaned her head on Shinji's shoulder.

"I love you, oto-chan."

"Aww, I love ya too, Yo-chan. Always and forever." Yayoi giggled.

The party raged on until almost eight that evening before Grimmjow had had enough of everyone and started kicking people out. Ichigo laughed at him for it but then again Ichigo had had a few too many beers over the course of the day. Shinji expected Grimmjow was going to enjoy the hell out of that after everyone left, even more so because the boys were going home with their Jiji. Nnoitra walked up beside Shinji, Tomoe on one hip and Yayoi on the other, and nodded down to him.

"We're ready to go." he said and Shinji nodded. Tomoe was coming home with them that night so her daddies could have some alone time.

"Bag's packed?" All three heads nodded and Shinji giggled. "Alright, go say goodbye to yer daddies, Tomo-chan."

Tomoe pouted. "They don't care. They're in the kitchen kissin' anyway. Gross." Tomoe added the last part with a curl of her lip and Nnoitra smirked.

"One day ya won't think that's gross." Shinji said and Nnoitra frowned.

"Don't rush it, stupid."

Tomoe ran off with Yayoi to find Grimmjow and Ichigo to say goodbye and were back in no time, pushing Shinji and Nnoitra out the door. Nnoitra grabbed up Tomoe's bag and tossed it in the trunk of the car before getting in the drivers' seat and driving back to his home. Three years ago they had bought a house that had originally belonged to Starrk. It had needed some tender loving care but they had been eager to get out of the apartment. The neighborhood was getting worse every week and both Shinji and Nnoitra wanted Yayoi out of there. It was two stories, three bedrooms with modest front and back yards. It wasn't the most attractive on the lot but it didn't matter to them one bit. What mattered was that it belonged to all three of them and they loved it.

After a quick bath for the girls, Shinji asked Nnoitra to get a movie started for them as he wandered off to his office to check a few things before bed. He and Ichigo had just bought the space next to _Wank_ the week before and he wanted to make sure he had everything in order in his files before he went to bed. He'd put it off for two days and now had no choice but to do it. He hadn't thought it would take long but it was an hour before he padded back down the stairs to check on everyone. He saw Nnoitra on the couch, both girls curled up on either side of him, and a deep scowl on his face as he watched the brightly colored anime. Shinji must have made a noise because Nnoitra looked up at him, utter disgust on his face.

"Can I turn this off now, please?"

Shinji smiled and kissed his cheek before grabbing the remote off the table and turning the TV off. He pulled Yayoi up into his arms, her sleeping body limp and uncooperative. Nnoitra sighed and picked up Tomoe before following Shinji up the stairs to put the girls to bed. Once they were in their room they quickly stripped down to their underwear and slipped into bed, the both of them sighing in contentment. Nnoitra wrapped his arm around Shinji's waist and pulled him back against his chest. Shinji kissed Nnoitra's hand and smiled as his eyes closed.

"I love you, ya big softy." Shinji whispered and Nnoitra grunted.

"Love ya too. 'Night."

Nnoitra snuggled in and closed his eyes as well.

"Good night." Shinji responded and together they drifted off to sleep.

* * *

A/N I feel like I just sent my baby off to college or something, all proud and sad at the same time. I'm happy with the way it all turned out in the end but the fact that it's finished, or closing rather, makes me sad. I'll miss this story, very much. I'll miss Shinji's stuck up selfish attitude and Nnoitra's brash and sometimes violent one. I'll miss Shinji and Nnoitra's glaring flaws, their fighting and loving. I'll miss watching Nnoitra grow into a man at the age of thirty and learn what it means to truly treasure something in his life. I'll miss watching Shinji grow as well from the carefree flamboyant young stripper to a still flamboyant but far more matured business man. The effect that these two have had on me is great and the romantic in me wants to shout, "There's someone out there for EVERYONE!" If Nnoitra as he is here can find love then there really is hope for everyone.

I'll miss them so much~ *sobs and wails loudly*

But that doesn't mean we'll never hear from our SBB boys again. The triplets' story will start posting soon, I'm currently working on the next chapter and will get it out as soon as I have it just right. Just because it's about the triplets (and Yayoi) doesn't mean we won't be seeing their daddy's as well; they just won't be the main focus any more. I've decided to title their fic, _Sins Of The Fathers_ because it fit so perfectly well. I look forward to introducing everyone to you again, ten years after the Epilogue takes place and ask that you prepare yourself for another emotional roller coaster that seems to happen every time I write in this universe. I only hope you all enjoy the ride.

_Twin Flames volume 2_ will also start posting again soon, but please don't hold your breath for its arrival. I want to reread the entire story first so that I can get back into character and hopefully catch anything that I may not be remembering correctly. I can't say when the posting will start but I'll try not to make you wait too long. I know how eager you all are to get back to that story as well.

_Bück Dich_ is almost finished as well, the next chapter of it anyway. I had a few kinks to work out with the story, I wanted to do things with characters that wouldn't work in this universe so I had to rethink some things before I was able to move forward. Hopefully you are all pleased with what comes out of it

_Hollow_ I've pretty much decided to put on a semi permanent hiatus as I did with FML. I have absolutely no drive to get that finished and with everything else I have going on I'm not going to try and force myself. If it comes it comes, but I don't think the story is far enough in and it's been so long since I posted on it that I don't think people will miss it too much while I focus on other things.

_Purple Sparkly Fairy_ will hopefully be finished soon. I think I can do it in one more chapter but I'll tentatively say that there will be two, just in case. It's a silly ridiculous story, but I can't start trying to turn it into a full length fic.

Kiribans and oneshots: I will do my best to get the rest of those out over the next two weeks. I don't think I'll be offering any more oneshots as prizes anymore because I always fail to get them out as quickly as I want. But never fear, if you have a oneshot or kiriban prize, it IS coming soon.

_Underground_ has amazing potential in my head but again, I'm not going to be pushing too hard on that one either. I'm also going to challenge myself and make it around ten chapters or less. Let's see if Penny can do it

Well Duckies, that's it in a nutshell. I think I've covered just about everything. I hope you all enjoyed the ride that was SBB and SG and I look forward to what you all think of future works as well. Thank you all for the love and support that brought me to where I am now.

*teary*

~Penny


End file.
